Posts by Morgan Campbell4

By the time I finish filling up the tank and get my haircut, it’ll be Thursday... 😂😂

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I'm telling you, everyone is just blowing smoke. All that effort from the musicians? Completely wasted...

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People seem to be here, I suppose... Americans certainly have some unique ways of socializing. This whole atmosphere feels far too depressive for any actual meaningful interaction.

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Americans are slowly drifting apart... Even here in the psychology department, people are too emotionally numb for any real socializing. It's a shame.

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Humans have this unfortunate tendency to dwell on what troubles us or brings us sorrow. We obsess over fantasies we can't actually touch. Personally, I tend to swear quite a bit—and not just mild profanity—and I’ll occasionally drop a sexual comment here and there...
As for my faith? Let's just say my belief in God is shaky at best. Perhaps that’s why He ends up appearing so frequently in my curses...
Then there's rudeness. Isn't rudeness just a cheap imitation of strength used by people with zero self-esteem? They are always the loudest, most obnoxious ones in a room or any social setting. Why? Because if I mock you, maybe I can avoid making a joke at my own expense that would make me feel pathetic.

It's like that old saying goes: you either swing or you get hit. It's much easier to aim a joke at someone else to avoid being the target myself—especially if I pick someone with similarly fragile confidence who rarely fights back.
What do I think of people like that? Honestly, it just weighs on me. What irritates me more, though, is when someone lacks the social intelligence to distinguish between joking around and being serious. That's my main gripe.
Sometimes I'm not in the mood for jokes, and other times I'm certainly not in the mood for heavy discussions. Everything needs to be balanced; a constant ebb and flow. Otherwise, I simply exit the situation.

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People vent for obvious reasons; dwelling on the negatives just drags them deeper into the pit. Some people stay silent simply because they don't want to be the punchline of some joke—you know the drill: "Why are you always so down?" or "Just change your mindset already." So, they bottle it all up and put on a fake smile, essentially sabotaging themselves. Sometimes, you just need to tell someone who will actually listen so you can finally lift that weight off your chest.

That said, I find those constant "toxic positivity" types just as irritating—the ones insisting everything looks bright and things will magically improve. How exactly will it get better? They’ve bought into this illusion of a "good life," working a soul-crushing 9-to-5 for peanuts, grabbing a cheap coffee at a diner, and convincing themselves that things will eventually turn around. That delusion is their only source of happiness.
Things only improve when you actually get moving and take action, rather than sitting around hoping for a raise, waiting for a call from a friend, or praying a coworker won't snap at you. We spend our entire lives living in fear because we're too busy pretending to be positive.

I try my best to maintain a decent outlook, but I refuse to see the world through rose-colored glasses. I simply don't buy into the "truths" that the media and society force down our throats.

Take my job, for example. Out of fifty tasks in a day, if I mess up a couple, my manager will walk right up to me in front of the whole office and call me an idiot without a shred of shame. Am I supposed to just pivot to some fake positive attitude after being insulted like that? The only "positive" thing about that situation would have been firing him at 5 PM.

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I’m a fairly antisocial person, though I realize there are several things I need to change. I’ve never been particularly fond of socializing or meeting new people. That said, this forum actually attracts high-quality individuals—mostly psychology enthusiasts. It would be interesting to actually meet and speak face-to-face with people who share my interests and worldview. While this online space is great, and I’ve received plenty of solid advice from similar minds, I wonder if anyone here would be interested in an organized meetup in New York City at a local pub? I notice that certain groups in the US host these kinds of gatherings quite often. There is certainly enough talent here to make such an event worth organizing. 😌

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Perhaps my comparison was flawed. Regardless, disregard everything I previously stated. It's trivial...

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Jonathan Hayes said:Maybe it wouldn't hurt to actually specify which disorders or illnesses we’re talking about here, and exactly what kind of meds you're on... Otherwise, someone just passing through might walk away thinking everything being said is some universal truth for any psychotropic drug. It really isn't. For instance, I'm already on my second antidepressant for anxiety and panic disorder, and I haven't felt anything like what you're describing... none of them have ever hit me that way.

I could try an analogy, though perhaps it isn't perfect. For instance, anesthesia—regardless of the type—results in a temporary "shutdown of pain" via gas or liquid.

The pain still exists during surgery; the body continues to react to it, yet physically or psychologically, we feel nothing. Is it possible that the efficacy of medication lies in convincing oneself that it will work? Does the strength of the mind play a role in believing that consuming a specific pill will make the pain vanish? Perhaps not in every case, but maybe for some, the right medicine truly does help.

But how many times have you taken something only to find it had zero effect?
What is the diagnosis? What are the medications? To illustrate, I can easily quote Sakoman, who told me this during one of my visits.

He said, "Look, kid, you've been coming to see me for three months now. You spend an hour here talking through everything that bothers you or doesn't, you go home feeling great for two weeks, and then you're right back where you started. Your 'pain'—these feelings that don't actually exist, but are products of your own mind—they take over and defeat you. Either you learn to fight against it and rise above it, or if you really insist, we can just prescribe more pills for the same thing. Those drugs will suppress the 'pain,' but they won't make it disappear. All you'll achieve over time is becoming accustomed to higher doses, needing stronger ones, and eventually, as the years pass, destroying your stomach, liver, and kidneys. So, decide: do you want to conquer this and rise above it, or let this fantasy of 'pain' win?"

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He told me that if I don't learn to rise above my own fears, I'll eventually have to rely on medication. But I’ve come to realize that drugs don't actually "remove" the pain; they just mask the crushing sensation that the pain creates. The ache remains, but the pills offer an illusion—a lie that the suffering simply doesn't exist.

Perhaps this sounds foolish, but what if a person learns to heal the body through the mind? Without pharmaceuticals, if such a thing is even possible. When we arrive at a doctor's office, isn't most of it happening in our heads? For the majority, psychological distress manifests as physical illness. What if one could transcend that cycle and utilize the mind to "heal" itself? Honestly, since I stopped taking all medications five years ago—even minor things like aspirin—I noticed my headaches decreased drastically. It makes one wonder if medicine is often just a placebo effect.

But what happens when you stop believing in the cure? When the body builds a tolerance and the drug loses its efficacy, just as the illness itself mutates? What happens when you reach that level where even a chemically engineered substance created by man can no longer assist you?

In truth, there is a symphony of vibrations we emit through our bodies that influence our pain. Much like a kiss from a loved one or a certain song passing through us like a tremor—another vibration that pierces our being and makes us feel uniquely happy, perhaps? I have decided that I do not want to take drugs. At least, not those manufactured by human hands. Natural remedies? Perhaps. But pharmaceutical ones? No. I don't even believe they help everyone; perhaps for many, they provide no relief at all.

You convince your mind that the medicine won't work, yet you live in the hope that it will, while deep down, you know better. Is that why addiction and dosage increases occur? I am not certain. I believe we possess the power to mentally heal ourselves physically, but achieving that is exceptionally difficult. It requires tapping into the deepest layers of our consciousness and willpower.

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Heh, who knows if anyone will even see this... To be honest, my bathroom situation today is just as depressing as usual. But about an hour ago, on my way home, everything was just... well, the same old story. Except now my underwear is soaked. I wiped myself off, but it didn't help much. Good grief, what am I even writing about on this forum? And there’s this transparent discharge—not quite water, more like mucus. Should I actually be worried? I tried searching on Google, but honestly, why did I even bother? Heh.

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I truly appreciate the advice you've provided... ☺

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I’m still eating meat despite knowing my liver is struggling... My doctor mentioned doing some stool testing—said it might not be anything serious, but we need to check if I'm losing iron or something similar...

As for the meat, it's mostly fried chicken, burgers, sliders, and things like that. I haven't been eating much pork; even today, I had some breaded pork and it was an absolute struggle to swallow and chew. Honestly, I eat about two or three times a day—maybe a toddler eats more than I do. I'm 6'0" and 147 lbs... Not that I'm trying to justify my questionable lifestyle choices from back in my teenage years, but is it really necessary for a 24-year-old to be dealing with this nonsense and needing these kinds of tests? I don't know... All I know is that I'm more mentally exhausted by the whole situation than anything else. It'll pass, right? It always does. I try to focus on other things, but then the discomfort just hits me out of nowhere...

I had an abdominal ultrasound, and they told me I have fatty liver disease, or at least that its shape is irregular. Everyone seemed baffled by that, considering I’m far too thin for my height. I can't seem to put on weight no matter what.
Thanks for the advice... ☺

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Perhaps I am jumping from one topic to another. I am not certain. I will attempt to describe this as specifically as possible.
I require an opinion regarding everything mentioned in the title. :/

I shall begin at the beginning. Throat issues involving difficulty swallowing food. It is incredibly difficult to swallow food, and occasionally liquids as well. I am unsure if my description will be sufficient, but to illustrate: sometimes when eating, it feels as though I must manually push the food toward the back of my throat with my tongue just to swallow. There is a constant sensation of a lump in my throat. Occasionally, when attempting to swallow something, my throat spasms and I simply cannot manage it—whether it be food or drink. It feels as though the obstruction is sitting in my throat rather than my mouth; I have to exert significant control just to ensure I don't inhale it while struggling to force it down. Forcing a burp is impossible; when I do succeed, it is meager and accompanied by a distinct taste of acid and regurgitated food. Naturally, there is pressure in my lungs that subsides only once I manage to burp. This tightness in the stomach and chest, combined with a heaviness in the abdomen...

Mucnina, which I am unsure how to link to these symptoms or even how to describe, to the point where I might consider starving myself. It is a fear of mine. I am exhausted by these pains...
These dull aches and the burning sensation in my stomach are what wear me down most. It intensifies daily. Mucnina occasionally passes if I eat something, yet sometimes even food provides no relief. It might sound absurd, but even sex used to provide brief relief—though I no longer possess the interest or the drive for it. Bloating is nearly constant, as are digestive issues. My digestion is irregular; there were times I would head to the restroom twice and still remain uncertain if I had actually finished, as the bloating and tension remained even after sitting for a long time. I would then go without eating for half a day or eat in small increments. Regarding minor necessities: there were changes in urine color, and I once found myself needing the restroom 10 to 15 times a day. I produced very little each time, which is likely why the frequency was so high.

As for any bladder sensations, I haven't felt them for some time; instead, as strange as it sounds, I feel the urge to use the restroom specifically in my external genitalia. I feel no sensation of needing to urinate in the bladder itself, nor does the bladder ache. I suffer from erectile dysfunction—specifically, an inability to maintain an erection—which has been an issue for the last year or two. I experience neither morning nor evening erections, and I have zero libido or desire for sex. Lately, I have also begun experiencing piercing pains in my lower back and pelvic region—near the hips. In the last few days, the pain has moved to my kidney area, feeling sharp or stabbing. Today, it is just the right side—a sort of pressure, though I struggle to describe it; it feels as though someone is squeezing me from the inside.

There are cramps or rumbling in the area just above the appendix, along with light tingling or spasms in my joints, legs, and abdomen. Recently, I have also experienced intense, sharp pains in the chest area.
But above all, that Mucnina, the acid, and the bloating are my greatest afflictors. And the swallowing issues. I feel nothing in the abdominal area below the navel; when I attempt a bowel movement, I can barely strain, and when I do, it feels as though I hit a wall—a physical barrier that refuses to let anything pass.

I won't see a doctor for another week or two. I haven't had health insurance for the last two years. The last time I saw a physician, my iron levels were below the minimum, and she wanted to send me for blood and stool testing. Of course, the moment she suggested that, I had no desire to go. My digestion is irregular, and frankly, I was afraid. My liver was fatty and showed irregular structure or size, if I recall correctly, and my urine tests showed several elevated levels, though I don't remember exactly what they were—just that they were well above average.

A bit about myself: I am 24 years old. This has been ongoing for five years, though the last two or three weeks have been exceptionally bad—truly terrible. It began around the time I started overdosing on ecstasy. Initially, people told me it was "psychosomatic." They claimed I was a hypochondriac. Given my current state, I suspect many of you will say the same. However, much of what I've experienced has proven to be physical, not psychological. Perhaps it was triggered by those stressful events, I don't know. In principle, I am terrified of pain; I loathe it more than anything. I can endure almost anything else, but these pains and the Mucnina are unbearable. When it first happened, alongside the abdominal pain, it felt as though I had swallowed acid and something was melting my intestines from the inside. Before I visit the doctor, I simply wanted to hear what people here think; perhaps there are professionals among you. I never told my doctor most of this. I believe this is the first time I have laid everything out, or at least I hope I have. To conclude, my diet is quite poor and unhealthy, and my only vice currently is cigarettes.

Thanks...

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Quite so. It isn’t really about the frequency, but rather the substance. There was a time when you might impress someone through your actions, but one shouldn't feel the need to constantly narrate their affection. Especially if the other person is already fully aware of how you feel. That is precisely what turns me off; I find it exhausting when someone feels the need to remind me of their interest ten times a day. It’s a general pattern in these things, and frankly, it tends to drive people away—myself included. It kills any genuine desire for companionship or anything more meaningful.

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Today becomes tomorrow's memory, and eventually, just another dream. Perhaps if I am lucky enough to reach old age and look back on these "today" moments, I might find fewer unfulfilled desires.

The truth is, one day we will simply be too old for the things we once longed to see, to do, or to experience. We spend our lives waiting—waiting for the perfect weekend, the right day, or that big trip. Between chasing money, managing fear, and bowing to so-called responsibilities, life just passes us by.

I suppose that is my motivation. If I haven't done what I wanted today to feel a sense of fulfillment and satisfaction, then I absolutely must attempt it tomorrow.
Because time is the only thing I truly own. I live for time, and for that very illusion, I will die. In reality, when I waste time, I am not merely wasting minutes; I am wasting my life—something far more valuable than any material possession on this planet.

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restlessbear34 said:I have zero experience with Samsung. To me, Western Digital has always been the gold standard for reliability, whereas my history with Seagate hasn't been particularly kind. I’ve actually had to swap out an internal Seagate drive twice.

It is interesting how things work out, because my experience is almost the exact opposite. I’ve had poor luck with internal Western Digital drives, yet their external ones have been solid. Conversely, I am perfectly satisfied with my internal Seagate drive, though even that eventually succumbed to bad sectors after eight years. As for external options, one should probably mention LaCie; they make excellent drives, albeit at a premium price. They hold their own against Western Digital, if anything. That said, when it comes to internal Western Digital drives, I will admit that only the Black series earns my respect.

I ended up showing up to the last United States meetup purely by accident—I was just scrolling through the homepage when it caught my eye. Honestly, it was my first time attending one of these gatherings. I realized later on that these meetups are actually organized by specific sub-forums, but regardless, it turned out to be quite an enjoyable experience..

It finally clicked for me once I saw there were over 20 people there. I remember thinking, "No way there are only this many people on the entire forum," before realizing it was just the United States group..

There's always enough conversation to go around, so it doesn't really matter which section you're from. That said, I’d love to meet the folks from the Psychic sub-forum too, since that's where I spend most of my time here. We should probably plan a barbecue at Central Park once the weather improves.. 🙂 Last time, being sick kept me from making it out to see you all. 😢

By all means, skepticism is healthy. But there is a certain bitterness when people let you down, especially when you were the one who failed them first. Does that mean we should stop trusting altogether? Why do we blindly follow a doctor's diagnosis, a preacher’s sermon on divinity, or the massive corporations that supply our groceries? I won't bother listing every single one; I assume the point is clear enough.

No matter how you slice it, people will disappoint you—myself included. What can one even do about it? Eventually, someone else will step up. We consciously choose to trust the influence of alcohol, the convenience of a McDonald's meal, or the nicotine in a cigarette. We continue to flood our systems with these toxins, knowing they are slowly, surely destroying us and leading us toward serious illness.

People come and go. A handful might stay until the end. Some become mere memories; others serve as lessons to ensure we don't repeat the same mistakes. As the years climb, the number of friends inevitably drops. In the end, less truly is more. Learn to find contentment within yourself.

I spend hours alone, lost in music, hiking through the woods, riding my bike, or reading a few chapters of a book. We are creatures wired to crave attention, emotion, and companionship. But there is no need to chase those things desperately. We live for ourselves, not for anyone else. Those who want to be in our lives will be; those who don't will leave. It is simply the result of our conflicts, our differences, or just life itself.

I am confirming my attendance. Last time, I was sidelined by an illness that seems to be lingering even now 😢 hopefully I will turn a corner by Thursday