Fear of confrontation
in Psychology ·
Paul Thompson3 said:To be brutally honest—and I mean this in the most straightforward way possible—you’re just a coward at heart, and nothing is going to change that. You could master three different martial arts and pack on twenty pounds of muscle, but the second a real confrontation hits, you’ll still just be that same scared little kid inside. The only thing that would actually change you is some massive, life-altering trauma—the kind of rage that snaps something deep inside you. But since that would make your life a living hell, honestly? Be glad you’re relatively "normal." A guy who chooses to throw down just to save face—risking jail time and missing his kid growing up—is a coward. To some people, that's no big deal; to others, it’s everything. If you think being a man is all about fighting rather than standing your ground and living by your principles, then you’re even more of a coward—especially if you think characters like those thugs from *South Central* are role models for masculinity. Protecting your own, regardless of the fallout? That’s what matters. Everything else is just child's play.
The only time I feel the urge to settle things physically is when I’m feeling weak or dissatisfied with myself. When I’m actually feeling strong and capable, I just feel superior to the whole situation—and frankly, that’s a much better way to live.
You have much deeper issues than the person who started this thread.
Regarding that fear of getting into a fight, or that freezing up when the adrenaline fails to kick in—when there's no "fight or flight" response and you just shut down—that’s simply weakness taking over. You end up three times more vulnerable than you actually are. You fix that by joining a boxing gym, a karate dojo, or an Aikido club. With a little "professional guidance," you can actually build some real confidence.
The goal isn't to become some street thug; it's to stop that paralyzing fear from seizing you when things get dangerous.
In a gym, you’ll take hits—some controlled, some not—but you’ll develop confidence because you’ll feel comfortable within those "controlled" environments.
That’s where you learn that 90% of problems can be solved just by having the right posture and presence.
Besides, you’re clearly struggling with a massive ego because you’re terrified of the humiliation of getting hit a few times.
That’s coming from an experienced martial artist who dealt with the exact same thing until he was sixteen or seventeen. I can't even remember the last time I got into a real scrap "out in the wild," but I see these idiots all the time on the road—since I spend a lot of time driving—who jump out of their cars to try and lecture me with force.
Believe me, they usually scramble back into their cars pretty quickly without anyone needing to land a single punch. :klap:
Some people build confidence through hard work, some are just born with it, and then there are the types who snort coke just to feel brave, only to have the adrenaline hit them in the wrong place instead of giving them actual courage.
