Richard Moore53 said:I honestly don't know how to respond to you... though maybe it helps to know I'm in the exact same boat. I've felt this way for a long time, and unlike some people, I haven't had the "guts" to end it all. I just feel like a total failure. I'm just drifting through life while the world passes me by, feeling absolutely nothing—no joy, no excitement. We're stuck in a hole, and sometimes it feels like there's no way out.🤷
I really don't get people who respond to posts like this by saying "just go play sports," or "don't be selfish," or "life is beautiful"...
I fell into a deep depression purely because of mistakes I made myself. I can't see any possible way out of this mess. The worst part is the thought that my actions might hurt the people closest to me. Honestly, I'd rather just end this miserable life than let my screw-ups affect them, but that isn't an answer because it would only cause them even more pain. For some reason they still love me, even though I've done something terrible.
Right now, I'm not financially independent, so I can't even leave to give them a break—to stop them from having to look at my stupid face every day and spend their already tight budget on me, even just for basic groceries.
I'm pathetic (in my music, first of all), weak, and foolish...
Life isn't always black and white, and believe me, sports definitely won't pull me out of this hole.