Posts by Carol Baker6

It’s not like I don’t love kids or anything, it’s just that... I guess I just don't have such a high opinion of myself

They say the best generals are the ones who actually take a second to pause, weigh their options, and then just charge ahead full tilt without looking back. I mean, let’s be real—obsessing over "what if" scenarios is just a massive waste of energy and totally counterproductive.
Most of the time, this whole mess stems from someone just refusing to face reality. Usually, an indecisive person actually knows exactly what the best move is in the short term, but they just can't bring themselves to accept it. They let their wishes clash with how things actually are, which creates this giant, tangled web of overthinking and endless analysis... and then they wish they could just hit a reset button and start over, but they can't, because their brain is already a complete wreck. That’s where all that frustration and paralysis comes from.
I guess a decent way to live would just be to make the absolute most of whatever you've got right now. That’s where everything starts. Once you do that, you actually begin to grow and realize how you can—realistically—start building better opportunities for yourself.

"Come on, man, quit being such a wimp."

Whenever I get stuck in one of those moods, honestly, having someone just tell me exactly what’s written above is perfect. It’s usually the only thing that actually snaps me out of it.

Sophia Jones51 said:tssss... I need to find some gloves, maybe some decent footwear or whatever.

Look, if you're actually out there racing, you don't really need any of that gear. Honestly, nothing gives you a better grip on the deck than bare feet—trust me on this. I’m out on the water basically every single day unless the wind completely dies down.

It always cracks me up seeing those guys decked out in all sorts of high-tech gadgets when they're barely even leaving the harbor in a light breeze.
But hey, I guess if someone already mentioned it, and if you're planning to take things more seriously, I'd suggest sticking to the big names like Musto or Helly Hansen.

Sophia Jones51 said:Hey there!
I’m heading out on the water soon too... can anyone point me toward a shop in the city where I can pick up some sailing gear?
Best,

Seriously, you must be out of your mind

who in their right mind is wearing a full suit in this heat?

lonegardener said:Fair enough, I'll grant you that. Honestly, I'm the same way, but that's besides the point. You don't want to hurt or weaken others because you'd feel guilty? Fine. But why then advise others to act the same way? You aren't responsible for how some other selfish person chooses to behave. Why tell them "don't undermine others"? Why would a Sith lord care if some Jedi "weakens" someone they are supposedly helping selflessly? In what way does that actually harm the interests of the Sith?

Even if my own empathy prevents me from hurting or weakening someone, I still have no reason to worry about whether someone else does the same. If I did, wouldn't I be drifting dangerously close to being completely irrationally selfless? 😲

We could also take this from a different angle. Why would you accept the state of affairs you're describing—specifically that sense of conscience you mentioned? That clearly feels like a burden, and it's likely just the result of social conditioning. Since you're already aware of that weight, why do you accept it as necessary? Why not, for instance, train yourself to shed that ballast of socially conditioned "conscience"? Then you'd be free to be as selfish as necessary without anything holding you back. Now, that would be an interesting form of emancipation...

bolded in order;
1.she probably started from the assumption that everyone is inherently good, or maybe it's religious or something, I don't know, some kind of mindset
2.
you have a reason to be worried because that person being hurt could be you, or someone close to you, or even a stranger, but it hurts you because you're naturally empathetic:
I don't really get what "irrational altruism" would even mean
3.I don't even want to be selfish, or rather, since humans have so little control over their actual desires and needs anyway, I'm not sure if that can even be changed. I've basically "rationalized" it for myself by believing in those "what goes around comes around" type of schemes
so for me, that would just be a kind of anti-emancipation
plus, it's just easier this way, better than having to constantly think about who I might end up owing a favor to and all that crap

Quincy:

lonegardener Asks: Look, if we’re actually following your logic—if it’s TRUE that everything we do is driven by pure selfishness—then why on earth should I even care whether my "selfless" acts end up taking something away from someone else? I mean, think about it. If I’m fundamentally selfish, and if that’s the core principle behind every single thing we do, then honestly, it shouldn't matter one bit to me how it affects others, right? It’s just math at that point. So, based exactly on the way you're laying this out, there’s really no reason for me to go out of my way to avoid "Type 3" selfishness. The absolute worst-case scenario is that I weaken someone or, like you said, totally ruin them—but if that doesn't bother me personally, then why would I even try to avoid it? I guess it just makes sense. 🤷

Ugh, look, I really hate speaking for other people—especially those self-proclaimed geniuses out there—but honestly? I have this selfish urge to just clear the air and say my piece.
I mean, you're probably on the right track, but I think you're totally overlooking that one specific need—or maybe more like a craving—that you were just talking about a second ago. And honestly? If we’re being real here, the whole thing just seems to stem from pure selfishness again. I guess that's just how it goes sometimes.
Look, I’m gonna be real here—it’s purely out of self-interest. It's not even about being a saint or whatever. I just don't want to go around hurting people or tearing them down, mostly because it ends up backfiring on me. If I start acting like that, I just end up feeling guilty, my conscience starts eating me alive, and honestly? It's just too much of a headache. It becomes toxic for me personally, so I just don't do it. Maybe that sounds selfish, but I guess it's just how I have to handle things to stay sane.
So, I mean, honestly? There’s basically zero reason why you wouldn't just steamroll over everyone else if you don't have a problem with it personally. I guess the only thing that might actually trip you up is if you go way too far and end up getting checked—you know, like if you're actually scared of the law, or God, or some kind of cosmic justice, or whatever it is you happen to believe in.

Jerry Green59 said:It's because she made it perfectly clear that she doesn't want me sugarcoating anything, which is exactly why I respond the way I do. 😛

@Sandra Parker3, thanks—you just saved me a significant amount of typing. 😁

One more thing:
I get it. A lot of these questions are born out of pure boredom, and some "problems" shouldn't be taken literally or even seriously.

But,
if one person asks a serious question about a serious issue,
and then proceeds to follow one piece of "expert" advice (which was clearly given just to satisfy the ego of the person giving it),
then that one person is one too many.

But what about all that garbage advice you see in tabloids, like the New York Post?

I've lost count of how many times I've seen people fall for their nonsense—lies, scams, straight-up manipulation, twisting facts... you name it. And when you actually try to warn people, they just stare at you like you're the crazy one, saying, "Are you kidding? It was in the paper!"

And don't even get me started on the rest of the mainstream media outlets. They're all running the same playbook, maybe just slightly less aggressively than the Post, which is basically the gold standard for this kind of junk.

It’s a real shame that our esteemed colleague Pete doesn't drop by here anymore.

What would you trade to be in my shoes?
To have people hating on you while they’re secretly looking up to you
What would you give for one massive, legendary moment
Where someone else gets to live out your life for you...

Just bumping this thread, maybe someone else will chime in

BTW, I'm heading to the coast tomorrow—got a transfer coming through in a few days, yippee! Just hoping my health holds up long enough to enjoy it

Jesse Cooper97 said:I was in this last one, not the one before, and before that I did three or four in a row.
The last time I hit a small regatta back in '22, we finished second in our group. We were so close to taking first, honestly, but I wasn't sailing with one of those super intense, high-strung crews. 🙂

Mostly, I used to sail with the Majesty, the Babaloo, and the Comet. But lately, the vibe in that crew has kind of fizzled out, so I guess we'll see how this upcoming season shakes out.

With those guys, I’ve cruised the whole coast, from the New York area all the way down to the Gulf, countless times.
Man, I miss it. Now I really have to grind to make things happen. 🙂

As for kiteboarding, I only really got into it about two years ago, mostly just to pad my college budget a little bit.

I do boards, Lasers, stuff like that—mostly just messing around rather than being super serious. I have this old Zest boat I joke around with, and last summer I even went windsurfing. The good thing about that gear is you don't need a whole squad to get out there. But then again, a regatta is still a regatta. 🙂

Personally, I can't stand those hyper-intense crews; it's usually just constant screaming at each other, and I don't know how people deal with it! I much prefer sailing with my semi-pros. For me, having a good time is the priority, and the results come after.

Oh, and man, I totally fell in love with surfing. It's incredible when you're out there catching some 20-foot swells somewhere in the middle of nowhere—bodyboarding style, obviously. Just the ocean, the wind, the salt, and nobody bothering you. It's wild, you feel like you're actually part of nature; the wind just carries you, and Poseidon is basically flirting with you.
Kiteboarding is starting to get a bit boring, though. Most people don't even get why they're doing it; they just show up because it's trendy now, kind of like how everyone used to sail around the coast.

I'm trying to pull some strings to move over to those 60-100 foot motor yachts. You work hard for a bit, then you just lounge around, and the money is incredible.
Plus, it leaves you plenty of time to go sailing whenever the wind is actually decent.🙂

Emily Newman77 said:Hey everyone, just checking in here with zero experience under my belt...

So, I was wondering if it’s actually doable to join a sailing club as a total newbie if the end goal is competitive racing? Like, you know, doing the whole school thing, training, all that jazz...

I guess I should mention I'm a little over 14 years old. 😢

Oh, absolutely. Why wouldn't it be possible? I don't know the exact setup for Seattle, but I'm pretty sure there are yacht clubs right there in town, so you could just head down and ask them directly.

Maybe try a quick Google search first; most of them have their own websites with all the details anyway.

Jesse Cooper97 said:Man, damn, looks like we’re both sailing enthusiasts

Do you work for a charter company? Or do you actually get out there for the racing circuits?

I pick up some skipper gigs here and there. I used to hit maybe ten or fifteen racing regattas a year, but I don't go nearly as much now. College life just kind of crushed my free time, so last season I basically just stuck to the local waters near Miami. 😢

Hey man, this was a nice little surprise to see.😉

When you mention being out by Miami, are you talking about this past summer or the one before that?

That trip was a dream, honestly—we were on a First yacht, and since the wind died down and left us totally becalmed, we just ended up drinking our way through it.

I do a lot of skip work; that's pretty much how I pay the bills in the summer. I don't work for a big rental fleet, though... I do something similar, but I'm not trying to drop an ad for myself here.
As for racing, I'm not out there constantly. Just a few races this year, but if I can brag a bit, I actually took first place in my class at a recent race in San Diego.

I was supposed to head out to that big Mardi Gras parade last weekend, but the flu absolutely wrecked me.

In my downtime—not that I have much during the summer—I surf, and I also dabble in some old-school sailing. I'm thinking about picking up a Laser this season. I'm only about 165 lbs, so I should be able to handle it okay.

feralmarlin132 said:I've never actually stepped foot on a Jeanneau... is something like a Sun Odyssey actually better than an Oceanis or those newer Bavarias? (I heard some of the older ones were better)

Is there anyone from the Miami area who knows what's going on at the marina there? I'm just looking for one decent boat, maybe 33-37ft, doesn't matter which model... seriously guys, help a brother out 🙂

What do you mean "which one"? This 52.2 is incredible, but obviously it's way too big for you.

I think there might be a First 36.7 over at the marina in Key West, but I can't remember if it's actually available for charter or whose it even is.

Look, if you're coming from the States, I could probably set you up with something exactly like that at a discount. Just shoot me a PM so I don't look like I'm running an ad here.

feralmarlin132 said:Hey everyone, just another person obsessed with the ocean here. A little bit of sailing, some cruising, checking the weather, all that good stuff🙂

My crew and I are looking to rent a boat out of Newport for a week this June to hit up some islands nearby.

I was checking through some local charter lists from back in the day, and honestly, none of the companies listed seem to have anything better than a basic Bavaria or Oceanis. I'm talking zero Grand Soleil or Salona models in sight.

If anyone knows someone in the Newport area, let me know if there’s a company or even an individual renting out a 34-38ft sailboat (any brand really, as long as it actually performs decently), it would be a massive help.

I'm not a local, but I spend a ton of time at the marina near the coast, and from what I remember, they don't carry any boats like that in the whole facility.
It’s all the standard stuff. Honestly, the best thing I’ve ever sailed in their fleet was a Jeanneau 52.2, though obviously, that’s not going to touch a Salona or a Grand Soleil. Still, it beats a Beneteau, a Bavaria, or those Elan boats.
Your other bet might be finding someone who rents privately outside of the big rental agencies, or maybe hitting up one of those larger corporations that lets you do a one-way trip—like starting in one city and ending in Newport—which might end up being cheaper if you pay the extra fee.

So, out of all these million things people are asking, there's really just one thing that's actually getting on my nerves

-Like, some girl in the chat was trying to correct my grammar, and honestly, if she wants to play teacher, she can do it at three in the afternoon when I'm actually awake.

I mean, look, it doesn't personally bother me—feel free to correct whoever you want. Sometimes I might actually learn something from it, and other times, I'll probably just totally ignore you.

Lisa Alvarez2 said:So, what happened? Why the radio silence? I mean, did everyone run into trouble or did you all just get way too carried away with the pre-holiday festivities?😁 I get it, though—winter storms roll in and you really have to double-check your lines and everything on the boat, especially the biminis, the dock lines, and the fenders.😠 You probably ought to check your canvas and instruments too if you've got them. Does anyone actually know what needs to be done before or during the winter months, huh?😕
best to everyone, including them

I know, but honestly, it would take me like several pages to cover it all. Just grab a nautical magazine; they’re always printing stuff about this kind of thing.

David Gray44 said:It’s good that there are more of us around, but you’re being pretty stingy with the words...

I mean, there isn't much to say, really. You either sail or you don't. People only start talking when they get stuck in some nasty headwinds!

And that regatta? It was basically the holiday cup for the local yacht clubs. From the small setups to the heavy hitters, maybe about 30 boats showed up in total!
It's always a blast when people are out on the water.

Looks like nobody else is really chiming in here, so I figured I’d jump in and say something myself!
Hey there, fellow fans of the sailing lifestyle!
By the way, we had some racing going on today. It was actually a little chilly right before they gave us the signal to start, but once things got moving? Man, it was absolute madness—just pure waves, sunshine, and wind... everything you want.