Posts by jadelynx2

James Palmer3 said:Resurrecting this dead thread...
I’ve been taking Sanval for about 15 years now. Roughly every second or third day.
Bit by bit, I worked my way up to 30 mg at night. In the beginning, that dose hits hard; I could actually feel it—almost like an "injection" straight into my brain as it interacts with my receptors, and then suddenly, my mind just shuts off. At first, I’d head straight to bed to pass out, but later I started sitting at my computer to finish some things up (checking emails, scrolling through news sites) before hitting the shutdown phase. I’d often get caught mid-task, stumbling around the house trying to find my bed.
Waking up feels like a classic, mild hangover from three beers. My head aches slightly, but more than anything, I just feel completely drained and listless because I wasn't asleep nearly long enough.
Now I’m reaching a point where even 30 mg isn't cutting it, and it looks like I might have to give up Sanval altogether.

In my experience, this stuff acts more like a recreational drug than a sleep aid.

Long-term, regular use of Ambien essentially destroys brain cells. At least, that's what I read in a study.

A true guru is someone who stands to gain absolutely nothing from you; they couldn't care less whether you choose to listen or not, and they certainly won't ask you for a fee or a "donation."
Such a person wouldn't even consider themselves a guru.

rustywalker1 said:But it shows up as if I was the one who uploaded it and tagged a whole bunch of people...

The part I removed from the top right corner is my full name. And the tag lists my friends. A few people have already reached out asking what on earth this is.

You've got Malware on your computer. Just reinstall Windows.

I'm honestly surprised no one has shared this link here yet.

Harold Anderson3, what’s your take on the best path toward mental recovery? Are you searching for some overarching purpose? Do you believe that once you find meaning, the depression just... evaporates? I don't have the answers to any of this myself, so please don't think I'm implying that finding a sense of purpose is some kind of magic cure for depression.

Typically, the people who rely on constant vulgarity for their sense of humor are the ones who have either never had sex or are just terrible at it.

It looks like there isn't much interest here anymore; everyone seems to have migrated over to private chats.

Carl Rivera43 said:What do you think about this recession thing? Maybe we should just cook up a plan together

No way, I actually enjoy it when someone else picks up the tab for a beer. 🤣

I’m only showing up if someone’s buying the first round.

Is anyone actually planning on meeting up, or has this all just moved to private messages?

I used to consider myself a genius. Or at least, that's what I told myself. Reality hit me like a ton of bricks.

Carl Rivera43 said:Haha, checking the calendar is always a win because we’ve got a long weekend coming up! Memorial Day is hitting this Thursday, May 26th.

So, how about meeting up at the main code statue around 5 PM? If anyone has better ideas, please speak up—I'm all ears for suggestions so we can finalize the plan.

If I don't have anything more productive to do, I'll be there.

darkwolf19 said:It sounds to me like you're spending way too much energy obsessing over your own psyche, whereas those "successful" people you're watching aren't wasting time spiraling about their self-worth—they're just pouring all that focus into specific skill sets or business ventures.
Truthfully, it might just be a matter of procrastination or lacking the guts to actually pull the trigger on a big decision... NHF 🙂

Exactly.

Maria Price3 said:Honestly? Same here. I think I've reached that exact same conclusion.
It seems like "stable" guys don't want to deal with messy women, while I—well, I have zero interest in dating those "unhinged" types anymore. Every single one of them drives me straight to a therapist's office. At this point, I'd much rather be alone and peaceful than in a relationship that lands me in a psychiatric ward. He doesn't need to be some perfect specimen; he just needs to not drive me insane. Which, I guess, means finding someone emotionally stable—at least enough to function. I'm not looking for some "knight in shining armor" to fix my life; I've actually gotten pretty good at managing my own head over the years. But I'd settle for someone who isn't going to shred my nerves on a daily basis. And, ideally, someone who isn't incredibly boring...
:clapping:

Long story short...
I'll probably be flying solo for the rest of my life. 👎

Crazy cat lady!

Steven Walker5 said:And that sentence right there—that’s the crux of it. The fact that you’re worrying about being alone is actually proof that you're looking for someone else to fill in the gaps. It’s as if you think you'll remain "incomplete" unless you find that "other half."

I don't want to sound like some New Age guru, but we really need to stop looking for another person to make us happy or complete our lives.
Only we can actually do that ourselves—through personal growth. And no, it isn't easy, but it's certainly not as impossible as we tend to believe. 😁

It isn't a simple issue, either—our entire society teaches us this way. Every movie, every book, every story we encounter while growing up reinforces the idea that there's "that one person" out there meant for us—some kind of soulmate connection that merges two people into one and brings total happiness. Been there, done that... 😛

Well, maybe you're right and it's better to just be single, since God knows what kind of woman could actually put up with me.

So now I'm working on myself every single day, but where does it actually lead? The more I learn, the more I realize how clueless and much of a total failure I really am.

I deal with plenty of negative thoughts, but I keep pushing forward regardless, mostly because I don't have any other choice.

I look around at everyone else and see how fast they're moving up, becoming successful, while I'm just stuck going at my own pace. It makes me wonder if I'm just that incompetent.

tl;dr - gotta work on yourself.

Steven Walker5 said:I find it difficult to even define what people mean when they talk about "searching for a normal person." What does that actually entail? Are you just wandering around looking for someone exceptionally emotionally stable because it’s supposedly better for you? 🙂
The reality is, you probably won't find them—mostly because there won't be that mutual spark or attraction to pull you together in the first place.

In my experience, you tend to gravitate toward someone with a similar level of emotional stability at any given stage of life; essentially, people act as mirrors to your own personality.
It might not be obvious right away—sometimes it's something buried deep within you—and from a distance, it might even look like the opposite, but I'm fairly certain that's how it works.

This is especially true with people dealing with emotional struggles; partners often end up trying to "fix" one another, attempting to patch up each other's flaws. It becomes this transactional dynamic—a sort of "you provide this, and I'll provide that" setup. 😁

However, I believe the foundation for a truly "healthy" relationship requires that neither person is looking to fill a void or merge their identity into the other. For a relationship to work properly, two fully realized, stable individuals need to enter it without being codependent.
And let's be clear—relationships can certainly exist without those conditions being met, but the question is really about how much emotional chaos you're willing to endure.

In short, I will stay single forever. 🕺

Brenda Hughes2 said:This really brings up some new questions. 🙂 What happens if you finally find your footing and start feeling better, but your partner doesn't? Or vice versa? Does it even matter? I wonder, can an unstable partner actually motivate you to become a healthier version of yourself? 🙂

Hmm, that could potentially be an issue.

Then we make a blood oath—you know, like a handshake agreement—that neither of us walks away until we’ve both made it back to solid ground. 😁

If you break your word, it’s ritual suicide.

Chris Robinson25 said:I've actually been diving into some R.L. Stine lately, which has been a blast. Honestly, I think I need to spend less time online.

I’m having the exact opposite experience. Whenever I go Away From Keyboard, everything just falls apart.

Especially with the state of this country being as ridiculous as it is right now. I'm already prepping for a great exodus. Maybe if I head somewhere further north in Europe, I'll actually have a reason to get out of bed, haha.

Chris Robinson25 said:Yeah, normal because they don't deal with mental health stuff.

I usually run into that first type.

Anyway, how have you been? Usually, once you start seeing women, things tend to look up.😁

Brenda Hughes2 said:I've heard about certain couples who met in psychiatric wards and things ended badly—like, you have two people struggling with depression, one gets hospitalized after a suicide attempt, and the other ends up isolated at home and takes their own life—all those kinds of horror stories. Of course, nobody ever talks about the ones where the relationship actually succeeds. 😁

Now, I don't browse this subforum very often, so I have no idea what your specific diagnosis is, but I think it's worth asking how one person's illness might impact the other. What's the likelihood of you being hospitalized? Could that act as a trigger for your partner? Would you be able to handle the fallout? And so on, and so forth.

I mean, it seems to me like you've already made up your mind—I'm just rambling here. 😁

It's not just people who lead lives without any struggles at all who are considered mentally healthy. 😁

The key is to sit down with that person and agree to be each other's support system, ensuring you both commit to getting better by working on yourselves together.

If you actually manage to pull yourselves out of depression, the relationship can end up being incredibly resilient because you navigated those darkest moments side-by-side.