northernmarlin79 said:I've always been a bit of a hand-washer myself😬 but lately, I've actually kind of enjoy using a scrub brush... though someone mentioned this and it reminded me that when I was little, I used to avoid stepping on the cracks in the sidewalk... but all those other things I listed earlier? I've probably been doing them forever and I can just laugh at myself because, hey... even things like how I hang my laundry—I leave my drying rack right on the windowsill, neatly arranged of course 😲 one green clip facing out, then a yellow one facing in 😬 And like I said, I just laugh about it because none of this stuff actually stops me from living my life normally, so yeah... 🙂
Yes, I also avoid the lines. I count question marks, commas, and periods in subtitles. My room is as organized as a pharmacy, and my notebook is strictly orderly—filled with numbering, a, b, c, and so on. Even my eyebrows are perfectly symmetrical, haha.😁
hiddentrucker16 said:See, I’ve always found that whole "power of positive thinking" thing a bit grating—to be honest, I wasn't even sure if changing one's mindset was actually possible. If you don't believe it, you're essentially stuck in a deadlock... but somehow, you always manage to remind me that there's another way to look at things.
Of course you can change your mind. We aren't born with opinions; we just spend our lives absorbing whatever nonsense our parents feed us until it becomes our own. But maybe you can learn to think differently. After a while, those new perspectives might just stick. I suppose you could head to a local library or pick up a book on positive philosophy to study a bit... I guess everything can be learned. 🙂 😘
hiddentrucker16 said:You always seem to find the silver lining in everything—it’s a lovely way to look at the world. You truly believe people are good; thank you for the frequent reminders of that perspective...
My therapist tells me that while we can't control our emotions, we can certainly change our mindset. I suppose that is a fundamental truth. So, whenever I am feeling particularly low, I try my best not to spiral into thoughts like, "Oh, I'm just miserable, this is how it always is, life is terrible, and everyone is awful." Instead, I attempt to tell myself, "Today is just a bad day, tomorrow is a fresh start. I feel sad right now, but this won't last forever." I try to practice that every single day. It isn't easy, but I guess we can only expect improvement from ourselves. 👍 And if we do that, I think other people will start to seem better to us too. 👍
I suppose I have this constant habit of comparing myself to the best of the best, and honestly, it’s exhausting. The hardest part is that I don't mean any harm; I truly feel happy for people when they succeed, but I can't help but end up putting myself down in the process.
I suppose this is how I see things. A person feels content with others only when they are truly at peace with themselves. When we find ourselves going through a rough patch, we tend to focus much more on how others behave. It’s because their actions can hurt us, or perhaps just reinforce those nagging doubts that we aren't quite good enough...
I used to approach everyone with a smile and total confidence. That worked out fine, I guess, but maybe it was unnecessary. It seems enough to be that way with the people who actually matter—your family, your close friends, or your partner.
As for everyone else, they either don't care, or they are far too preoccupied with their own struggles. Trying to help them might just end up weighing them down further, so it probably isn't worth spending your energy there. And one more thing—I think you should only offer advice if someone is in actual danger or if they specifically ask for it.
I grew up in an incredibly stable, harmonious household, so I find myself struggling with the very issues you all are discussing here. I had plenty of love, attention, and both material and spiritual stability, which I guess makes me overanalyze everything even more. My self-confidence is low, and I tend to only value myself when everything is "going according to plan." I struggle to truly appreciate my own achievements. I constantly find myself apologizing to others for my perceived "mistakes or shortcomings." I have a hard time accepting compliments, too. Even though I might come across as confident, I suppose I really am not. Maybe I was raised under slightly too much pressure regarding expectations—as if the question were, why shouldn't you be perfect in everything when you have every advantage? But honestly, why would we even strive for perfection? And what does "perfect" even mean? According to whose standards? Lately, I've been working with a therapist to learn how to value myself and stop being so self-critical. I'm trying to accept myself as I am, and I've even started intentionally doing things imperfectly, just to prove to myself that nothing terrible will actually happen.🙂
I’m definitely a frequent hand washer, though I wouldn't say I've hit that level of obsessive scrubbing lately... honestly, my absolute favorite thing is getting the chance to scrub them down with a little brush... I just can't stand it when I notice someone has dirt under their fingernails, and the feeling of touching hands that are all warm and sweaty is just gross, not to mention how much human hair bugs me... I also have this thing where I need everything organized perfectly, so it really gets under my skin if someone just moves something out of place without thinking... mind you, I'm not talking about everything in life, some things can be messy or whatever, but I have my specific rituals, like when I buy a big bag of assorted candies, I'll pour them all out, count every single one, and eat them by starting with whichever flavor I have too many of, then once the counts are even, I'll eat them in a perfect rotation—one of this kind, one of that kind, one of the third kind—and then start the whole cycle over again... and don't even get me started on hanging posters or pictures on the wall, because I need them measured out to the exact inch so everything looks totally symmetrical and right... I don't take any medication since we actually have a doctor in the family and I'm currently working through my own biomedical studies... we've all decided that what I have is just a personality quirk, nothing serious, and it hasn't really changed or gotten worse over the years, so it's totally manageable...
What are your thoughts?
Hmm... I deal with OCD and panic disorder, and perhaps there is something else I haven't identified yet. I have heard that medical students often develop this constant hand-washing habit; I guess it happens when they realize just how much bacteria we carry and feel disgusted. Perhaps this is just temporary for you. Even if it isn't, as Richard Murphy6 mentioned, neurotic disorders can pass with time. If you want to speed up that process, maybe you should reach out to a specialist. I decided to do that.
hiddentrucker16 said:What exactly triggered the memory?😘 Ha ha ha... here is your troll 😂 And apparently, I’ve gone and sent you into a total hysterical fit... it seems you've already reverted to your old ways regarding anxiety 👍 That's actually the way to do it—chase away the sadness and the depression... here, have another one 👍 Stupid depression, now I'm going to be sick 🙂
well, you made me laugh again with that part about throwing up 😛 I guess I celebrated too early. The day was actually pleasant, but not for long..... I seem to be so sensitive lately that I can't believe how much things can hurt me on a daily basis.... it feels like stress is just waiting around the corner for me...... and then the depression grabs hold, then the nausea hits, and then that feeling that I'm going to 🤮 well, I just let it all out now 😂 I wonder what else I am supposed to learn from you.....😘
hiddentrucker16, I was sitting right in the middle of a lecture at college today when I suddenly remembered those little characters of yours—the ones that are constantly dying of laughter and those rigid figures that just won't stop vomiting. I started laughing so hard... 🙂 🙂 🙂 You're right, I'm feeling a bit better today, I guess. Thanks for the sympathy!
I suppose I am in favor of adventurous intimacy😉 It can't really do any harm, and maybe it might just spice up a monotonous life a little bit. good luck!
Thanks, shadowsurfer11 — medication, therapy sessions, self-suggestion... I am utilizing all of them, so I suppose the results should eventually manifest. Actually, I think they are already starting to show 🙂
Hi quietranger14! I haven't had similar experiences, nor have I read all of your posts, but I got a pretty good impression from your first one, so I wanted to share a few thoughts.
First off, low self-esteem and lack of self-respect follow many of us, regardless of how perfect our lives seem or how thin we might be. (I am currently on a diet to gain weight, and believe me, I wouldn't wish anyone else to be eating "bite by bite" at age 22 while feeling total disgust.)
I really admire how healthily you've rationalized your difficult childhood and how openly you can discuss it. Please give yourself time to become even more satisfied with who you are. Since it took you so long just to find a desire to live, I suppose it will take some more time before you truly realize how special and worthy you actually are.
That being said, perhaps talking to a professional might be beneficial for you. I started seeing someone myself (due to anxiety), and I do feel better; still, professionals know things that we simply don't.
David Nelson74 said:YES. Anxiety, F-16, if I remember correctly? It is a completely curable mental disorder. You can definitely move past it, but you have to put in the work, stay determined, and learn to accept things as they are. Educate yourself as much as possible—though, if you want real progress, try getting your info from professionals rather than just random internet forums. If you do that, within a year or two, the symptoms will be gone. The FBI, anxiety, phobias, depression—these are all entirely treatable conditions. It isn't some incurable sentence like schizophrenia or something similar (though, give it thirty years and I bet even that will be curable).
I hope you're right! Yes, F-16. Honestly, I just want to feel like my old self again someday, because this is exhausting... I have started CBT, so maybe that will help. I am trying to educate myself a little at a time. Thank you.
George, I have just one question. I struggle with anxiety, and since I'm right at the beginning of this battle, I'm wondering if these kinds of disorders can actually be fully overcome... in other words, is there any real hope that I might become my old self again? You mention that you are recovered, so does that mean you don't deal with any of these issues at all anymore?