Posts by Betty Fowler

Carl Rivera43 said:Since when is AI considered fake?

And then they start crying 😢 😢

Why do little kids laugh while playing soccer? - Because the grass tickles their bellies.

Nobody has dropped the most critical piece of intel yet... where does Donna actually land on a scale of 1 to 10? 🤔

She’s over on the Psychologist forum looking for the... 🤣 🤣 🤣

It’s definitely doable. Analyzing things isn't the issue, nor is "caring" about what others think. The real problem arises when those outside opinions start messing with your emotional stability. The fix? You have to shift that deep-seated subconscious belief that your well-being depends on everyone else's approval.

Ashley Bailey75 said:You're being way too literal here—I'm not talking about flavor profiles, man. The sense of smell exists specifically to warn you when something isn't right.

Don't get hung up on the smell itself; look at the sense behind it. It's what guides you through life. It's what keeps you alive. You feel emotional pain for a reason. If you ignore it for too long—or worse, if you feed into it—that's when you actually put yourself in danger. That's just facts.

But not all senses are equally important, which means they aren't all strictly necessary for survival.

I added an edit to my previous post regarding the reasoning behind emotional pain.

Ashley Bailey75 said:Go ahead and hate me if you want, but if you're gonna hang out in this thread, actually contribute. Make a point. Explain what's bothering you or how you see things. It's a forum, for crying out loud—it wouldn't hurt to actually share an opinion instead of just dropping these tiny, useless comments that don't say anything at all.

Don't you think emotional pain works just like physical pain? Like, a built-in signal that something's wrong? Why would we even be capable of feeling it if it didn't serve a purpose?

😠

Ashley Bailey75 said:Go ahead and hate me if you want, but if you're gonna hang out in this thread, actually contribute. Make a point. Explain what's bothering you or how you see things. It's a forum, for crying out loud—it wouldn't hurt to actually share an opinion instead of just dropping these tiny, useless comments that don't say anything at all.

Don't you think emotional pain works just like physical pain? Like, a built-in signal that something's wrong? Why would we even be capable of feeling it if it didn't serve a purpose?

Alright, since you’re asking for a full breakdown.

Tvoj upis:

Why do we avoid food just because it smells off? It’s simple: that scent is a built-in warning system telling you something isn't safe to eat. It's nature's way of protecting your health. I suppose suffering works the same way—it's a necessary part of survival.

First.You’re comparing something you claim is a health hazard to something you argue is absolutely essential for survival. Is that really a fair comparison?

Another one.There isn’t a single shred of evidence to suggest that suffering is actually necessary for survival.

Third.Just because something smells bad doesn't mean it's actually a health hazard. Take roasted red pepper spread, for example—to me, that stuff smells absolutely terrible.

EDIT: Physical pain serves as a vital warning system; it’s absolutely necessary for survival. Emotional pain, on the other hand, is more of a side effect—a byproduct of our capacity for empathy, connection, and love. It's what allows us to function within a family or a community and ensures we continue to thrive as a species. But is it strictly necessary? Not really.
Psychopaths seem to navigate life quite easily without ever feeling emotional pain.

Nicholas Lee41 said:Indirectly, maybe. If there wasn't any love involved, there wouldn't be this kind of suffering for those close to you. It would probably manifest in other ways, but in my experience, no kind of pain hurts quite as much as this byproduct of love.

Exactly. I figured it wasn't worth the breath to explain...

Ashley Bailey75 said:And just like everything else in life, there's two sides to every coin.

Suffering is just as much a part of the deal as love is. Most people spend their lives running from it—trying to numb it out or ignore it—but honestly? It’s pretty valuable. It’s basically a signal that you’re off track or working against your own interests.

It's like when you smell something rotten—your body tells you to stay away because it's dangerous. Pain works the same way. It's necessary for survival.

I've always had a bit of a grudge against people who can't master the art of a good comparison, and honestly, this one is pretty terrible...

Ashley Bailey75 said:I don't know, I'm not trying to get all deep or philosophical here, but I can't wrap my head around loving my kids only under certain conditions or specific circumstances. Just having them is enough for me to feel Love. It showed up out of nowhere and I doubt it’s ever leaving. And it doesn't demand anything back just to exist.

Look, obviously you feel grief and pain when you lose someone—only truly messed up people are devoid of those emotions. That wasn't what I meant when I said Love doesn't hurt. I meant that Love keeps you from staying in relationships that cause suffering and damage you. Loving others naturally requires loving yourself, too, so it should protect the person doing the loving.

And regarding apathy—psychology basically says emotional neglect leaves a deeper scar on kids than actual abuse does. So, any emotion at all is clearly "better" than nothing.

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Does that mean you think people with low self-esteem aren't capable of loving?

Ashley Bailey75 said:I don't know, I'm not trying to get all deep or philosophical here, but I can't wrap my head around loving my kids only under certain conditions or specific circumstances. Just having them is enough for me to feel Love. It showed up out of nowhere and I doubt it’s ever leaving. And it doesn't demand anything back just to exist.

Look, obviously you feel grief and pain when you lose someone—only truly messed up people are devoid of those emotions. That wasn't what I meant when I said Love doesn't hurt. I meant that Love keeps you from staying in relationships that cause suffering and damage you. Loving others naturally requires loving yourself, too, so it should protect the person doing the loving.

And regarding apathy—psychology basically says emotional neglect leaves a deeper scar on kids than actual abuse does. So, any emotion at all is clearly "better" than nothing.

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I agree that neglect is devastating for a child's development, but am I the only one who isn't sure if it's actually worse than active abuse?

Roger Kern16 said:I think I’ve been calling infatuation Love for way too long. Same goes for that anxiety you get from those toxic push-pull relationships... It just isn't it. Love is more of a state of being than some fleeting emotion, and you can only really measure it by actions. I don't (really) believe it should be a source of weakness, sadness, or suffering anymore; if that's what you're feeling, then it’s just pathology or something else entirely.

Are you sure about that? I can think of several different scenarios that suggest otherwise.
If you lose someone you love, that connection becomes the very thing that breaks you—it’s the root of all the grief, the weakness, and the suffering that follows.
The person you love can be the very one to betray you, leaving you to deal with all those heavy, negative emotions on your own.
And so on, and so forth.

Ashley Bailey75 said:The opposite of Love isn't hate—it's just a total lack of it. Honestly, I think apathy is way more destructive than actual hatred.
I’m with you on this: Love isn't some fleeting feeling; it's actions, words, thoughts, and mostly just showing up for someone. And it doesn't demand anything in return.
It’s not inherently destructive, and it doesn't actually hurt. It’s just the ego getting tangled up in it that causes the pain.

Take parental Love, for example—it doesn't sting. It's selfless and exists without needing a reason. Romantic Love, though? That needs constant fuel. I’m being all metaphorical today—too much cheesy talk about Love for me, ugh.

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Hate is the direct opposite of Love. If you were to represent these two core emotions visually, it would look something like this:

Love Indifference Hate

Ashley Bailey75 said:The opposite of Love isn't hate—it's just a total lack of it. Honestly, I think apathy is way more destructive than actual hatred.
I’m with you on this: Love isn't some fleeting feeling; it's actions, words, thoughts, and mostly just showing up for someone. And it doesn't demand anything in return.
It’s not inherently destructive, and it doesn't actually hurt. It’s just the ego getting tangled up in it that causes the pain.

Take parental Love, for example—it doesn't sting. It's selfless and exists without needing a reason. Romantic Love, though? That needs constant fuel. I’m being all metaphorical today—too much cheesy talk about Love for me, ugh.

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Could I get an explanation on this?

I’d offer you some advice, but since you clearly aren't interested in anyone else's opinion anyway...

urbanraven said:Death is the one absolute certainty we have in this life.

Everyone who ever lived—is gone.

Everyone living right now—will pass away.

And everyone born after us—will follow suit.

It isn't death itself that scares people. It’s the great unknown waiting on the other side.

When things feel heavy, there's a strange sort of comfort in that.

Dana Roberts said:Greetings, everyone. I’ve been an avid reader of this forum for quite some time now, but today I felt compelled to step out of the shadows and initiate what I hope will be a truly constructive dialogue on a specific subject.
I am curious to know if there is a formal psychological term for a particular phenomenon: when an individual says one thing, yet their actions tell a completely different story. Specifically, I'm thinking of those who verbally condemn a certain behavior while simultaneously engaging in it themselves. Some people might dismiss this by saying, "Well, that's just how everyone operates these days," but I find that answer rather unsatisfying. In your estimation, does this fall under the umbrella of pathological lying, or is it perhaps something else entirely—maybe a complex blend of various psychological drivers?

Hypocrisy.

If that hypocrisy is extreme and becomes a constant part of their daily life, you’re likely looking at some form of psychopathy.

Matthew Castillo5 said:Where on earth do you get the idea that anyone deserves to be bullied? 😒

(unless we're talking about the bullies themselves; I'd happily see them get a taste of their own medicine just so they finally understand what helplessness feels like)

Cowards don't possess a single quality I respect.

I used to only tolerate cowardice in women, but since my views on gender roles have gradually leveled out, that particular female privilege is starting to fade.

First off, just stop studying. You can always go back to school later, but there’s really no point in grinding through it right now if you aren't feeling it—especially if you haven't built up the discipline to actually cross the finish line. If you have the breathing room, take some time to just sit with it all. Where are you actually at in life? What's holding you back? What do you truly want, and more importantly, what don't you? Above everything else, your main priority should probably be finding your own independence.

You're young; there's no need to rush. Just take it slow.

Let's be honest, do you really deserve anything other than being picked on?

Here enjoy.

Did Amon happen to study at UC Berkeley for his science degree?

It comes down to questioning your own assumptions and then consistently acting in ways that reinforce the mindset you’re actually aiming for.

Joseph Bailey41 said:If you're in a relationship, you aren't really "yourself" or "steady" anymore, because when the person you love is hurting, it hits you hard. Unless, of course, you're a psychopath. ☕

Sure, but compassion isn't really that complex an emotion. With compassion, we aren't mimicking someone else's lack of purpose; we’re simply reacting to the resulting feeling—sadness.
Yeah, sadness can be contagious—especially when it’s someone you care about. But just because you catch their mood doesn't mean you have to own their reasons for feeling that way.

Joseph Bailey41 said:If you're in a relationship, you aren't really "yourself" or "steady" anymore, because when the person you love is hurting, it hits you hard. Unless, of course, you're a psychopath. ☕

🙂