Posts by brightridge59

I only sat through it once myself, but for some reason, it really stuck with me, and I can still recall so many specific details about it today.

Robin is such a phenomenal actress, and she truly delivered a standout performance here. 👍
I actually found myself feeling quite bad for Billy at certain points. 😁

As for Michelle Pfeiffer, there were moments where her character made me want to just reach out and kick the screen! 😳

Honestly, I think this one lands right in that special "must-watch-again" category for me. 🙂

To be perfectly honest, I don't have any desire to have children, nor do I experience those typical maternal instincts people talk about. 🤷

I remember one thread where people practically labeled me as "broken" just because of that.

But unlike you, I’m not sitting around waiting for some sudden wave of longing to hit me; I know my mind on this. If those feelings were to suddenly appear out of nowhere, it would actually be quite overwhelming because, logically speaking, I simply don't want kids. Of course, that realization really narrows down the dating pool—for instance, my ex was absolutely obsessed with the idea of starting a family, which made things difficult.

Please believe me when I say you aren't "abnormal," and there is absolutely nothing wrong with you. You simply don't want children, and that is a valid way to live. 🙂

Casey Cook10 said:I honestly find myself wondering... what exactly are people telling themselves lately? It feels like politicians have spent so much time filling everyone's heads with these grand ideas about what they are "entitled" to within our healthcare system, and it’s getting a bit out of hand. 🙄

It really is such a shame when you find yourself expecting even the most basic levels of courtesy and common decency, only to be let down. It shouldn't be a tall order, honestly.

It’s honestly a bit heartbreaking when you think about it—the way everything is set up means that if the original poster actually decided to take matters into their own hands and file a formal complaint with the Department, they would likely end up triggering that entire disastrous chain of events all over again.

Perhaps in some other country.

Maria Jones40 said:It’s honestly just pathetic and quite frankly, a disgrace.

It honestly feels a bit disheartening, if I'm being perfectly candid, to see how some people continue to skim right over the details even after the initial post has laid everything out so clearly. It’s a shame, really, because it makes it so much harder for us all to have a productive conversation when people aren't actually taking the time to process what's being said. 🙂

jadesailor14 said:Honestly, I really feel like they shouldn't have let you in.
Honestly, I really wish someone had just given you a heads-up that you should wait until you have every single document in hand before heading down there. It would have saved you so much trouble! 🙂

They really should have. 🙂

I can't help but feel that the doctor shouldn't have gone as far as calling you irresponsible, even if her observation was clearly spot on. It’s one of those tricky situations where the truth is undeniable, yet hearing it delivered so bluntly still feels a bit harsh, don't you think?
On the other hand, she went ahead and accepted you, even though she really had no reason to.
She did you a massive favor, so the least you could do is put some actual thought into your response.

I suppose I should hold myself accountable here, but only because I completely blanked on my own medical history. It wasn't because I missed a referral or anything like that—I just truly lost track of the details.

Honestly, I feel like my boss did me a massive favor when she hired me, because now I’m already looking at having to head back into the office again tomorrow!

I wouldn't exactly call that a joke.

What could it possibly be? 🙂

Jamie Davis17 said:It’s entirely possible that she’s just juggling an extra weight we don't see—perhaps there's another issue she's managing on the side, like a tricky situation at work or some lingering task she's already successfully navigated.

If her conduct was truly as professional as Rachel Brooks63 claims, then there simply wouldn't be any room for that kind of rudeness. But let's be honest—she wasn't being professional at all. She was being downright disrespectful.
She wasn't being charmingly arrogant or just throwing out a bit of playful sarcasm—it wasn't even that kind of "cute" attitude. Honestly, she was just being downright rude.

It’s entirely possible that she’s going through a rough patch right now. I can certainly empathize with that; honestly, I’ve been dealing with my own share of headaches lately, and if I'm being completely candid, I am just absolutely fed up with everything.
And look, I didn't show up there looking for a fight; I actually waited my turn quite patiently, explained exactly what was going on, and made sure to be damn polite about the whole thing.
If she’s already made up her mind to bring me on board, I can't help but feel that anyone else could have stepped into my shoes just as easily.

I’m certainly not trying to play devil's advocate for healthcare workers here, but I think the reason we all react so strongly to them is simply because there is such a massive power imbalance at play. When you're the patient, you're often feeling vulnerable, sensitive, and in desperate need of a little extra care, which naturally puts us in a subordinate position to the providers. That being said, at the end of the day, they are just people too. To be perfectly honest, I don't see what you wrote as a clear-cut case of arrogance or unprofessionalism, sorry if you disagree.

It honestly breaks my heart whenever I hear about someone being left waiting outside an ER entrance for four hours after arriving with an emergency. It’s just such a heavy, unsettling feeling to think about that kind of struggle.

I really meant it when I said this was a relatively mild case. I decided to use her as an example because, quite honestly, it’s exactly the kind of situation I found myself navigating just earlier this morning.
I honestly could have met her rudeness with something even more biting, but I just couldn't bring myself to do it. What would have been the point?

I suppose I added a little extra drama there just to really drive home the impression that woman left on me. 😬

Look, I fully realize that the oversight regarding my medical history was MY mistake, and I’ve already explained the situation with the referral.
I had my appointment this past Friday afternoon, and they gave me specific instructions for the follow-up—namely, to be back for an exam today at 8:00 AM sharp.
So, how exactly was I supposed to have the referral ready? Should I have just conjured one out of thin air? 😕

And honestly, I think she would have been much more understanding if they hadn't turned me away. If things had gone differently, I simply would have returned the following day. 🤷

But her behavior was truly unpleasant.

Rachel Brooks63 said:I’ve often found myself reflecting on this particular question during my quiet morning coffee, wondering why a healthcare professional should truly care about the nuances of a patient's personality. To me, it seems that medicine is so much more than just a series of biological puzzles to be solved or symptoms to be managed. If we view our patients merely as a collection of clinical data points or physiological malfunctions, we miss the very essence of what makes healing possible. In my own experience working alongside various specialists, I've noticed that when you take a moment to understand who a person actually is—their temperament, their sense of humor, or even their specific anxieties—it changes the entire dynamic of the care you provide. It isn't just about being polite; it's about building a bridge of trust. When a patient feels seen as a human being rather than just "the case in Room 4," they are far more likely to engage with their treatment plan and share those small, vital details that can make all the difference in a diagnosis. Think of it like this: if you were treating someone for a chronic condition, wouldn't you want a provider who understands how that illness fits into the context of your actual life? Knowing whether someone is naturally resilient or prone to worry allows us to tailor our communication style effectively. It turns a standard medical interaction into a genuine partnership. At the end of the day, we aren't just treating bodies; we are caring for people, and understanding the soul behind the symptoms is perhaps the most important tool we have in our kit. 😕

Are you actually reading what I’m saying? I feel like we might be having a bit of a breakdown in communication here. 😕
That is precisely why they should be treated with a bit more grace by default; since they have absolutely no way of knowing what kind of personal circumstances someone might be navigating at any given moment, a little extra leniency goes a long way.I’ve been thinking quite a bit lately about how much we tend to overcomplicate things when the answer is staring us right in the face. It reminds me of a little situation I ran into last summer while I was driving through the Midwest; I spent nearly twenty minutes searching for my sunglasses, tearing apart the passenger seat and checking every nook and cranny of the center console, only to realize they were perched right on top of my head the entire time! We all do it, don't we? We get so caught up in the complexity of a problem that we overlook the most obvious, straightforward solution. Sometimes, you just have to take a breath, step back, and look at the big picture without all the unnecessary noise..
Goodness gracious, honey, there are actually entire seminars out there specifically designed to teach medical professionals how to communicate effectively with their patients.
It wasn't all that long ago that I remember walking into the waiting rooms at some of our local healthcare clinics and seeing these little flyers posted on the walls. They had messages like, "Healing begins with kindness," or something along those lines. It was such a gentle, thoughtful sentiment to encounter while you were sitting there, just waiting for your appointment.

If I were in charge, I might be tempted to just toss you out on the sidewalk and tell you to come back once you’ve actually bothered to bring your referral and medical history with you. But, well, I don't exactly have a reputation for being particularly sweet. Fortunately for you, the staff over at the clinic are a different story entirely; they are incredibly kind and maintain such a high level of professionalism.

If they had simply turned me down, I think I could have handled that with grace. But this kind of behavior? It’s just completely unacceptable.
The sisters were absolutely wonderful—truly lovely people. Unfortunately, she was quite the opposite.

I honestly find that sentiment a bit disheartening to hear. It’s always a shame when things take such a negative turn, isn't it? I truly believe that if we approach these situations with a bit more grace and understanding, we might find a much smoother path forward. Let's try to keep things constructive.

🙂

jadesailor14 said:you're exaggerating

Actually, I don't think I am being dramatic at all.
I just find that kind of attitude completely unacceptable. It’s such a stark contrast to people who are genuinely grateful just to have been given a referral in the first place.
I remember talking to a woman at the hospital once, and she was expressing how truly thankful she was that someone would even bother to perform her surgery. 😕

Forgive me, but I'm not one to just follow the herd, and I don't plan on starting now.

this just isn't right, period

You see, that specific point didn't actually bother me the most, because no matter how you look at it, it's simply true. What really rubbed me the wrong way was the overall attitude, the behavior, and the general impression she left behind. 🙂

🙄

What seems to be the problem?
Is humor suddenly not welcome on this subforum? 😕

@ Elizabeth Patel67
I wasn't being rude; quite the opposite, actually. 😉

Ahem.

I’ve just made it back home from the hospital after getting my stitches removed. It was painful. Truly, quite painful. It still hurts, actually.

Naturally, I waited for the initial check-in to be cleared before being seen, but that isn't even the core of the issue.
The real problem is this.

There was this young woman—a doctor in her prime, I suppose, and quite attractive, honestly, even without any makeup on—who managed to send my blood pressure skyrocketing. Now, I’m not a man, so I don't mean 😢 in that way, but my pressure is usually quite low, and she sent it soaring.

I didn't have my referral on hand because, well, first, I hadn't had a chance to grab it since my current residence is on the complete opposite side of town from where my primary doctor is located, and second, my medical records only indicated that a referral would be needed for a follow-up appointment, which isn't until the 28th.

So, this lovely young lady gave me such a piercing, unpleasant look that it actually turned her face quite red. 😢 Then, in this incredibly stern, sharp tone, she pointed out that I didn't have a referral. I responded quite politely (because that’s just how I am 😍), trying to explain why I didn't have it when I arrived, but it felt like she wasn't really listening to me at all.

Then, out of nowhere, she flashed this sort of smirk 😕 and went right back to typing away diligently on her keyboard.
While the nurse was removing the sutures—which, as I mentioned, was very painful—the doctor chimed in again. "You didn't bring your medical history."

"I didn't; I forgot," I replied.

"How could you possibly forget?" she asked, her tone practically cutting through the air.

"Bleh."

"It seems to me that you are being rather irresponsible."

"And it seems to me that you are being rather harsh," I countered.

"Bleh."

At that exact moment, she ducked away behind a partition (it turns out later she had just gone to grab a coffee, which she clearly should have done earlier). The nurse finished her work—and I must say, she was incredibly kind, truly a gem 🙏—and told me I’d need to come back tomorrow because the wound doesn't look quite right. I wasn't thrilled to hear that, because, let's be honest, I really don't feel like paying for another $50 Uber ride, and I certainly don't want to head back to the hospital just to have those women ruin my morning again.

The doctor remained tucked away behind that wall, and stayed there. I was actually the one who stepped up to ask if she needed me to drop off the referral for today's visit later on.

In the meantime, I took a peek at my medical records. She had typed: "PLEASE BRING REFERRAL AND DISCHARGE PAPERS AT FOLLOW-UP." In all caps, no less.

As I was leaving, she smiled at me again, though her eyes certainly weren't smiling.

So, now I'm curious. Primarily, I'm wondering if anyone here in the medical profession can weigh in. What kind of behavior is this? 😕

Where is the human element? 😕
Okay, fine, I didn't have the referral. I forgot the discharge papers.
But I am the type of person who, on my very first day in the hospital, was busy texting, ended up on the wrong floor because the elevator was acting up and I didn't notice, and accidentally wandered right into the surgical suite without even realizing it.
I am also the person who, just today, walked toward the wrong department, despite the fact that the medical records explicitly stated which one to go to—and I did read them.

I am the kind of person who manages to drop food on freshly washed clothes.
Yes, that is truly who I am. 😢

She cannot possibly know what kind of person I am. She can't know what kind of people any of the folks coming through those doors are.
Her job, among many other things, is to be kind.

People don't come to the hospital by choice. They come for all sorts of reasons and in all sorts of situations. I don't think anyone actually wants to be there. Believe me, I certainly don't want to be there.
You know how it goes in life—sometimes when one thing starts sliding downhill, everything else just follows suit. That’s exactly what happened to me once I broke that damn bone. Honestly, I am just completely over it all. I’m exhausted, I’m frustrated, and frankly, I’m just feeling pretty miserable. And if I’m being honest, I find myself really craving some kindness from my medical team. I truly, deeply want to encounter doctors and nurses who are actually pleasant to be around.

Out of everyone I encountered there, it seemed like every single person who was acting hostile or irritable was a woman. One particular individual gave off a bit of a bipolar vibe, constantly shifting between this forced smiling and then snapping at people.

I’m not usually the type of person to jump into arguments or seek out conflict, but it genuinely upsets me—and honestly, it makes me quite sad—that people whose entire profession involves caring for individuals in vulnerable physical and mental states can be so incredibly oblivious to their impact.

Someone recently mentioned to me that there's absolutely no need to bring anything for kind doctors or nurses, since being polite is literally part of their job description. Is that actually true?
I even felt a sudden impulse to pick up a box of chocolates for my nurse. Why did I feel that way? 🙂

This is just a relatively mild instance that got under my skin today, though I know there are certainly worse stories out there. I decided to start this thread primarily to hear from healthcare professionals: why is the atmosphere sometimes like this, and do you find yourselves behaving this way toward your patients?
Of course, I would also love to hear from the "patients" out there about their own experiences. 😬

Well, you aren't exactly making me feel any better. 😬

I checked my temperature yesterday, and it was sitting at 99.5 degrees.
It’s been staying right around that same mark all through today, too. I’m feeling a tiny bit less nauseous than before, but this headache is just a constant, nagging presence. At this point, I’ve stopped trying to hide from loud noises because, honestly, it doesn't seem to make a difference whether I'm listening to music or sitting in a pitch-black room. The pain is just... there. It’s always there. 🙂

Does anyone know if there’s anything that actually helps? 😢

edit: regarding that "patch" we discussed—how much of a percentage are we talking about here? Is it risky? 😕

Scott Allen10 said:From my own experience in the field, it seems pretty clear that these headaches are almost always triggered by patients not following post-op instructions. For instance, after receiving spinal anesthesia, we tell patients they absolutely have to stay lying flat on their backs for the next 24 hours just to prevent these exact kinds of complications... but that rarely happens.

🙈

I just stepped away to use the restroom. 😳

Well, here is the situation: I am dealing with these absolutely dreadful headaches that won't budge, no matter what kind of pills or injections I take. The nausea is constant, too—I feel like I'm being sick all day long.

But honestly, what is really starting to worry me are these intense cramps in my shoulders and neck. 😕
The anesthesiologist at the hospital told me it has nothing to do with the anesthesia and suggested it's just psychosomatic. But I've never dealt with anything like this before, especially not spasms so severe that my shoulders and neck lock up and I can barely move. It is such a miserable feeling.

What are the odds that this is also a side effect of the anesthesia versus it being two totally separate issues? And if it is related, how long do the consequences of that "lack of cooperation" usually last? 😢

Christian Wells6 said:I see that Eleuthera has entered the fray, so there isn't much left for me to contribute. 🤣

Except, perhaps, for two minor observations.

There are actually two distinct points here; regarding the first, Eleuthera might not be consciously aware of it, though she has likely felt its effects firsthand, whereas concerning the second, she is undoubtedly certain. 🤣

1. Quite rigorous scientific studies, employing strictly empirical methods alongside a control group of "average" individuals, demonstrate a profound disparity in cognitive capacity. Those struggling with alcoholism consistently fall well below the average baseline. Conversely, those dealing with narcotics tend to deviate significantly from the norm—specifically, they trend significantly ABOVE it.

When one factors in their social maladjustment and various other eccentricities, they essentially embody everything we once secretly desired to indulge in, now presented with a rare opportunity. To put it more succinctly: they represent the very essence of our most repressed cravings.

2. When such an individual reaches a certain peak, they don't crash simply because they lack the capacity to do so. 😂 Personally, I refuse to trade a high-functioning addict for someone merely "normal." (Though, naturally, even my convictions have their limits, blah, blah...)
There truly is no lover quite as captivating as a properly wired addict—provided they aren't overdoing it. If we add one small detail to the mix, it’s this: they lack any semblance of moral restraint. It is quite curious that no one ever seems to discuss this, yet it remains a pivotal factor. 🤷

An emotional bond is entirely out of the question. However, enjoying pleasant company with someone who serves a practical purpose? That is quite a different matter altogether.

As for the test you proposed—I would have kicked you to the curb immediately, given that it functions as an ultimatum.

And I find myself laughing heartily, because Eleuthera knows this truth all too well.

🤣

I have to disagree with you there. I really miss that sharp, scientific, and rational edge you always bring to the table. 😁

Quincy:

Aside from those minor little details.

Well, there you have it. Just as I thought.

Quincy:

There are actually two small nuances at play here. For the first one, brightridge59 might not be consciously aware of it, though I suspect she has felt its effects firsthand. As for the second, she knows it with absolute certainty. 🤣 When you look at the actual scientific research—the kind conducted with rigorous methods and proper control groups consisting of "typical" individuals—it clearly demonstrates that... I’ve been spending quite a bit of time lately reflecting on the subtle nuances of how we perceive cognitive ability, and I can't help but feel there is a significant, almost profound difference when it comes to how we define true intelligence. It isn't just about how quickly someone can solve a complex equation or memorize a list of facts—though those skills certainly have their place in our academic structures here in the States. To me, it feels much deeper than that. I was sitting in a small coffee shop in San Jose the other day, watching the bustle of people rushing to work, and I started thinking about how often we mistake mere information processing for actual wisdom. There is a certain kind of sharpness that some individuals possess, a way of navigating social complexities and emotional landscapes that seems almost intuitive. It reminds me of some of the concepts discussed in Transactional Analysis; it’s about how we interact, how we read the room, and how we manage the invisible threads of human connection. When you look at it through that lens, the gap between being "smart" and being truly intelligent becomes much more apparent. One is a tool, while the other is a way of being. It’s an interesting distinction to ponder, don't you think?I’ve always found it fascinating how we categorize different types of struggles, but if you look at the data, there is a distinct hierarchy in how people deviate from the baseline. In my view, those struggling with alcohol dependency fall significantly below the threshold of what we consider "normal" functioning. They tend to drift downward, losing that steady grip on everyday reality. On the other hand, individuals dealing with drug addiction tend to swing in the opposite direction—they diverge significantly above the norm, creating a massive, erratic departure from standard behavior. It’s a subtle but profound distinction in how these two paths manifest.

That’s the truth—though, if I’m being completely honest, I’ve never really had the patience to sit down and dig through mountains of statistical data myself. It just isn't my cup of tea!

Of course, there are always those outliers that defy the rule. I once lived in extremely close proximity to an Alcoholic, and let me tell you, he was anything but "dim-witted." In fact, his IQ was north of 150, which really complicates the usual assumptions we make about those types of patterns.
Honestly, the sheer level of destruction that comes from those two working in tandem is something you can only truly grasp if you’ve walked through that same fire yourself. It’s one of those things you can't quite explain to someone who hasn't lived it; there's a specific kind of chaos they stir up together that leaves everything in its wake feeling completely leveled.

Quincy:

When you factor in social maladjustment and all those other little quirks, it really boils down to this: everything we’ve ever dreamed of indulging in, we finally have the opportunity to experience. To put it more simply—everything your heart desires is right there within it.

Oh, please. He’s just so incredibly different from everyone else, isn't he? So uniquely "edgy," so fundamentally unadaptable, such a rebel against the system... oh, please. And, of course, a total addict. 😬

Quincy:

When Eleuther stands up, he isn't falling because he lacks the strength to stay upright. 😂 I’ve decided that today just isn't the day I’m going to go out of my way to pass off an addict as someone who's perfectly stable. I mean, sure, we all have our limits when it comes to being accommodating, but there really is a line you shouldn't cross, right? Honestly, I’ve always felt that you won't find a more passionate lover anywhere else in the world than a well-built addict—provided, of course, they aren't completely lost to the struggle. There is just something about that lack of moral boundaries that changes the entire dynamic. It’s such a fascinating point, really, yet it seems like something people almost never discuss openly, even though it feels like such a pivotal element of the experience. 🤷

To be perfectly honest, my ex was on his absolute best behavior for most of our relationship, mostly because I was constantly hovering over him like a hawk. It’s a bit of an absurd way to live, really! 🙄
His toxic behavior—which was really just a byproduct of years of battling addiction—was ultimately what tore our relationship apart.
It was this constant sense of excess in every single aspect of his life. I won't even go into detail; you already know exactly what I mean. 😉

I suppose if they didn't lack a certain moral compass, things might be different, but they truly don't have one.

Quincy:

An emotional connection is simply out of the question. However, being comfortable with someone who is useful? That can work quite well.

The truth is, you can't find that kind of "comfortable usefulness" with someone you're actually emotionally bonded to. And since these types only know how to bind you to them through pure manipulation—well, I guess that's just one more thing they excel at, isn't it?

Quincy:

Regarding the testing part—if I were in your shoes, I’d kick them to the curb immediately, because an ultimatum is a final line in the sand. Honestly, I'm laughing because brightridge59 knows that better than anyone.

😂
I think we are going to have to disagree on this one. We never seem to see eye to eye on these matters.

That said, if I ever found myself in a similar situation, I wouldn't even bother wasting my $53 on a test. I would just show them the door instantly.
No need for any dramatic ultimatums.

I think the more interesting question to ask ourselves is this: what is it about addicts that we find so strangely captivating? 😉

Mark Campbell5 said:I have a sudden urge to be a complete nuisance. 😈

But I'm keeping it together... mostly.🙂

And look, like brightridge59 said, I have zero intention of getting myself banned just because of you. 😉

Anyway, let's get back to the actual point. ☕

Long story short......... 🙂

Which, obviously, is something you aren't going to do. 🤷

So, the only thing I can really tell you is this: 🙂

You're gonna need 😢

P.S. There’s no such thing as an ex-addict—there are just addicts who haven't relapsed in a while.

And of course she won't. Honestly, neither would I. 🤷
I remember people giving me all sorts of advice back then, but I just wasn't listening.

Even when I finally decided to take action, I had the full support of my friends, my family—everyone was behind me—and yet, things still didn't turn out well. It’s because at the end of the day, they can't fight against themselves.
And they can't, simply because they don't want to. 🙂

Roger Evans said:Helping an addict? Don't you realize he has to actually want to get clean himself? From what I can see, he's at the stage where he won't even admit he has a problem...😢

Look, honey, you don't want to leave. Just admit that to yourself and everyone else here.

Staying with an addict is your own choice.

So, since you've made that call, you've gotta accept everything that comes with it—the endless tears, the excuses, the lies, the constant uphill battles, the broken trust... all of it.

I wish you all the luck in the world and hope you find the strength to deal with all the crap heading your way.

Honestly, I don't even get why you even started this thread? 🤷

That is truly the hardest part, when there is no admission of the problem. They convince themselves that they don't need anyone or anything, and that they can handle it all on their own.

Honey, the truth is you don't actually want to leave. You should be honest with yourself and everyone else about that.

Your own choice is to stay with an addict.

👍
Perhaps we should just rename this entire thread to "Emotional Support for Everyone Dealing with Addicts"? 🤔

@ Christian Sanchez4 😍

Regarding our friend here:

The search function isn't working for me right now, and I really don't have the patience to scroll through everything manually, but there are two specific threads on this forum that you really ought to read. There's one called "Addiction"—it follows a young, idealistic user who thinks he can take on the whole system 😬 by using drugs.

Then there's "Addicts, please help"—a story about a girl who ended up in a relationship with an "ex"-addict, only to have her heart broken when she realized he had relapsed.

You'll find just about everything you need to know there; besides, many of us who are replying to you now were posting about these very same issues back then.

You beat me to it! 🤣 🤣

God. Oh my goodness. : 5%: 😢

But I have to hand it to insomnia. 🙏

Hey there, analogsailor98 👋
It is always such a pleasure to see you popping up on my feed again. 🙂

analogsailor98 said:Been around long enough to see this before.

Take it from me—run.

You aren't going to fix him if he's already underwater, and he doesn't owe you the truth just because you've been loyal.
The fact that he didn't turn to crime because he had money to fund his habit? That doesn't make him a "good guy"—it actually makes it worse. He's just tearing apart the people who care about him because he doesn't give a damn about anything else.
There's nothing you can do. If you stick around and let him spit in your face, then yeah, be ready to wear that spit...
You can leave. And you should... Because one day, if you stay, you're just going to wake up exhausted, manipulated, and wondering why you can't even trust your own gut anymore...

Sadly, that is exactly what happens.

It looks like everyone has gathered here. 😬

Christian Sanchez4, I realize it isn't just a tiny 5% margin, but I honestly can't say there's a significantly larger percentage of people who actually manage to get clean and stay clean without ever facing a relapse. Not once.

By the way, I found your post to be 👍

I actually missed your post entirely! 😬

Christian Sanchez4 said:Oh, come off it, what's wrong with me? 😬 🤣

I just couldn't help myself 😳🤣 though you know I usually agree with you😉 😁

Honestly, you’re one of those rare 5% who just gets it. Thank goodness for that. 🙂

I just couldn't help myself, 😳🤣 though you know I'm usually right there with you on these things. 😉 😁

🤣

I know. 🙂 😉

Ronald Rogers27 said:I don't know. I've never been in a relationship with an addict—at least not someone using needles (one of my exes smoked weed heavily, but that wasn't why we broke up).

So what, does that mean NOBODY (not former criminals, not addicts, not anyone) deserves a second chance to rejoin society and live an honest, clean life?

Then we wonder why drug dealers, thieves, and all kinds of lowlifes who lie and steal at every turn are recruited from former addicts. Nobody trusts them. 👎

But those people HAVE to eat. They have to survive. So what, we just wash our hands of them and leave them to starve? 🤷

If I were in their shoes, I'd be the first one to grab a brick and mug an honest citizen if I had to choose between Life and Death.

(I hope you realize what you're advocating for. Think about how little this actually relates to how society functions.)

Ronald Rogers27

Well, I have. And honestly, looking back, the toxic dynamic that developed between us was exactly what led to our breakup. It really just comes down to that reality.

So that means NOBODY (not former criminals, nor addicts, nor any other kind of troublemaker) should be given a second chance to reintegrate into society and live an honest life, right?

Of course that isn't what it means. But that is precisely why rehabilitation centers exist.
How effective they actually are is another debate entirely, but no one is obligated to deal with an addict on a personal level just because they feel sorry for them.

And then we wonder why drug dealers, thieves, and all sorts of bottom-feeders who lie, steal, and cheat at every turn are recruited from former addicts and criminals. Nobody trusts them.

And you can't trust them. 😬
I honestly don't know how else to explain this to you. I don't know which words to use when it seems like you just aren't grasping it.
I used to believe. I really did. I held onto the exact same mindset you have right now: "someone has to help, it isn't fair, they are victims of the system (sure, even that 🙄 ), they need support." And do you know what the conclusion was? No one is required to help them if they themselves don't want to help themselves. Do you see what I mean?
Addicts can be incredibly selfish, manipulative, and part of a broken subculture where 95% don't actually want to leave. They just want to exploit everything they can so they can keep living that lifestyle.
The ones who truly want out, get out.

But those people HAVE to eat; they have to survive somehow. So, are we just washing our hands of them and leaving them to starve? 🤷

What are we even talking about here?
Is he hungry? Is he miserable? What, am I supposed to hand him a silver spoon? 😕

If I were in their shoes, I’d be the first one to grab a brick and smash a decent citizen's face just to steal their wallet if I had to choose between Life and Death.

🤣🤣
Look, honey—forgive me, I’m not quite sure how old you are, but this sounds like someone who’s maybe sixteen at most—you’ve clearly watched a few too many movies, because you seem to have this somewhat romanticized notion of what an addict actually is. 😉

(I really hope you realize what you're advocating for here; please take a moment to think about how little this actually relates to society or any real social trends at all)

Ronald Rogers27

If I were to write down exactly what I'm thinking right now, I’d probably end up getting banned from the forum, so I’ll stay polite and decorous and just keep it to myself. 😬

I am certainly not advocating for anyone to "wash their hands" of the situation, and while your reasoning feels a bit disjointed, I do understand the points you're trying to make. My stance is that we should advocate for help, just not on a personal, one-on-one level.
I am offering advice from my own specific perspective, essentially looking at a single individual case. I honestly have no idea what you mean by "washing your hands" or these supposed social trends you keep bringing up. 🙄

Believe it or not, I have always been incredibly empathetic toward people struggling with addiction. In fact, it was likely that very empathy that landed me in the exact situation I found myself in once upon a time. ☕

Look, Ronald Rogers27... you’re talking about two completely different things here.

If some woman posted online saying she was thinking about walking out onto a busy interstate to see if a car would hit her just to test her luck, what on earth would you say to her?
Would you tell her to go ahead and take the risk because "well, maybe it won't happen"? 😕

You're stuck in the realm of theory, but I’m speaking from actual life experience. When you're dealing with addicts, there is simply no such thing as trust—not even when people claim they've "rehabilitated."

Addiction is a chronic, recurring illness, not some temporary phase or a run of bad luck. There is no reliable future to be built with them.
That’s exactly why I offer this kind of advice and hold this perspective.

Samuel Davis16 said:It blows my mind how people act like you get a choice in who you fall for.
If we actually had a say, half these debates wouldn't even exist.

I’d love to say I hadn't fallen for the person I did, but here we are.

That’s why they call love blind. You don't see the addict, the gambler, or the jerk... you just don't see any of it.

That’s the whole point. ;-)

While you certainly can't pick who captures your heart, you absolutely have the agency to decide who you'll stay in a relationship with.

That's why they say love is blind. You don't see the addict, you don't see the gambler, you don't see the abuser... you just don't see any of it.

And that's really the crux of the matter, isn't it? ;-)

In my view, that isn't true love; it’s more like being infatuated or simply blinded by emotion. You see everything clearly enough, but you choose to look the other way. By the time real love sets in, it's often far too late to fix the damage. 🤷

Just to be clear, I'm not talking about someone casually wondering if they should date a certain person as a joke.
I'm talking about someone facing an incredibly heavy burden, and she is making the conscious decision to take that weight onto her own shoulders.