Posts by brightridge59

Oh, come on, Nicholas King, don't be like that. 😁

They happen once a year. 😬

But really, I’m curious—what kind of ideas do you have to help us make LJS an even better, more beautiful, and more constructive community for everyone? 🍿

Now that we've laid all this information out on the table, I find myself wondering what your actual endgame is. What is it that you're truly looking for here? Are you hoping to mend these relationships and get things back on track, or is your primary goal to steer clear of them as much as possible?

I just finished transferring everything over from the LJES system,
and honestly, it feels like such a weight off my shoulders to have it all settled!

Zachary James5 said:@ brightridge59
It’s not like he gets physical, but the psychological stuff? He absolutely lives for it. For instance, if his mother doesn't bring him something right away—like a glass of water—he’ll sulk for the entire day and just refuse to speak to her. He’s also a master at shifting blame. You know how it goes: you listen to him, you follow his lead, and then he turns around and uses that against you. There’s only one way to do things in his world: his way.

He’d actually hit me on the head sometimes, like a "warning." His whole tactic was to intentionally provoke me, mock me, or insult me, and the second I snapped back, he’d shut down and give me the silent treatment. When I asked him why he does it, he’d claim he was just trying to "toughen me up" so I wouldn't have issues with people out there (as if I need that, right?). But if I gave him a taste of his own medicine, he’d lose it.
In his mind, this is how he helps. This is his version of "best practice": psychologically attacking me so I’ll become mentally resilient enough to handle other abusers later.
Personally? It makes zero sense. I could use someone who acts as a support system, not someone constantly holding my growth back.
The other day, he walked into my room while I was working through some math problems. He lost it. Told me I shouldn't be doing that and that I should be resting instead (probably by lying around all day like he does). Honestly, it was insulting.

Back in the dorms, I was always the guy helping everyone out. I’d run out to grab cigarettes for my roommates, tutor them in math, pick up movies or books for them, even lend them money (which, by the way, they never paid back).

So, we're talking about a psychological manipulator.
How do his comments directed at you and your mother affect you personally?

He’d occasionally give me a little tap on the head as a sort of "warning." The whole thing was designed to intentionally provoke me; he would mock me or insult me, and the moment I stood up for myself, he would fly into a rage and give me the silent treatment. When I eventually asked why he acted that way, he'd claim he was just trying to "toughen me up" and help me handle people better (as if I were somehow lacking in that department), yet if I responded in kind, he would absolutely lose it.
His idea of helping—and what he truly believes is for my own good—is to psychologically attack me so that I'll be mentally fortified against other bullies in the future.

People often describe individuals like this as being old-school, but honestly, they are just straight-up bullies. His approach to guidance is incredibly outdated and rigid, not to mention his tendency toward passive-aggression. 👎

How do you usually deal with people of that nature? (I suspect it isn't always easy for you)

To me, it makes no sense at all; it would be far more helpful if he were a source of support rather than someone constantly holding back my personal growth.
The other day, he walked into my room while I was working through some math problems, and he completely lost it, telling me I shouldn't be doing that and should be resting instead (as if he spends his days just lounging around). It felt quite insulting.

In and of itself, that specific comment might not seem like an insult, but when it becomes a constant pattern, I can certainly see why you'd feel sensitive to every similar remark that follows.

What is your relationship with your mother like?

I used to do favors for my roommates. I'd run out to grab cigarettes for them, tutor them in math, pick up things like movies or books, lend them money (which, predictably, they never paid back), and so on.

Was that something from your past, or is that still how you operate today?

One should really make an effort not to burden a child with their own past traumas, whether those stem from their early years or more recent experiences in adulthood.
It’s also incredibly helpful to dive into as many books on developmental psychology as possible and then actually take that knowledge and put it into practice in your daily life. 😬

I noticed that Zachary James5 was sharing some thoughts earlier, and it really got me thinking about how much our surroundings influence our daily rhythm. It’s funny how a simple change in scenery or even just a different way of organizing our workspace can completely shift your perspective on a project. I remember back when I was working on a renovation project over in Seattle, spending hours at Home Depot picking out materials, and I realized that the small details we often overlook are actually what give a space its soul. There's something quite peaceful about that process, isn't there? Just taking things one step at a time and watching everything come together. kaže:
When I first brought this up, my intention wasn't to be difficult; I was simply trying to frame the conversation in a way that would allow you to tell me exactly what areas you were most interested in exploring. I wanted to pose a question that would act as a guide, helping us pinpoint the specific topics that truly matter to you.
So, what exactly is your end goal here? If you could clarify what you're aiming to achieve, I’ll be able to provide a much more thoughtful and helpful response for you.

I feel like I might not be being quite clear enough in my explanations, and I'm sorry if I've left you feeling a bit muddled or confused by my reasoning. 😁

Zachary James5 said:I’ve got a massive problem with my parents. And honestly, just with my whole family.

For four years, I lived in a boarding school—except for summers and holidays—and it’s only now, right before I head off to college, that I’m realizing just how different we all are.

Let me give you a few examples:

I’m an organized person. Back at school, I had a ton of stuff, so I had to keep everything within reach, but it was all neatly arranged, even if my room felt tiny. I’d clean at least twice a week, take out the trash regularly, and so on. You could say I was almost excessively tidy—a bit of a "nerd" or a "geek," I guess.
But my parents, my sister, and my grandma are my total opposites.

My mom in her own house and my grandma in hers are the only people who actually know where anything is located. For instance, when you go looking for a screwdriver and can’t find it in the garage, so you ask the "bosses" where it went, they’ll tell you it’s in the bathroom! It drives me crazy because it makes zero sense.

Or when I need to put things back that they’ve picked up. Like, say, a piece of wood my dad used for a project, and when I ask him where to put it back, he just says, “Just put it over there.”
Needless to say, I have no idea what "there" actually means. When I take it somewhere I think is appropriate, like the workshop, they just tell me, “Don't blame me, you don't know any better.”

You’d think life would be easier if things were kept in some kind of order, but when you have a hundred items scattered all over the house like this, it’s a total disaster.

Furthermore, I hate it when they tell me what to do. The most banal, irritating example is when they lecture me—a skinny guy—about what I should eat and how much. Aside from my sister, they’re all pretty large.
They’re constantly offering me food. After lunch, they’ll tell me to have more, try a little of this, or ask if I want dessert.
When I was at boarding school, I had a set meal schedule. I’d eat five or six times a day, eating as healthy as possible. Since I was living there, I didn't have the chance to cook for myself. I tried to keep my diet varied and ate plenty of fruits and vegetables because I played sports and stayed active, studying not just for school but researching things I was personally interested in.

I can’t talk about anything with them because they’re stuck in their own weird heads. My father talks to my grandma—his mother—constantly, maybe thirty times a day, and all they ever discuss is what they ate, or something I said once, or blah blah blah... She is the most important person in his life.

One last thing: there was almost a car accident recently. I wasn't there, but my father told me how he nearly got into a physical fight with the other driver. He was furious for a while, and then he came up with the stupidest reason I’ve ever heard: he blamed my mom because she didn't stop him from fighting, even though he didn't actually fight anyone. I immediately thought, how idiotic is that? Why does he need her? Does he need someone to babysit him?
It goes without saying that he blames my mother for everything that goes wrong in his life.

I want to know how to deal with this suffocating feeling of pressure and how to get through these next few months.
I can't live normally; it’s such a strange sensation. They expect me to talk to them, but I won't, because I don't really trust them. During the worst parts of my puberty, they weren't there for me or gave me any support at all.
Things were worse before; I was just a kid, terrified they were going to get a divorce. My father used to threaten my mother with that constantly, ever since we started going on summer vacations together. I didn't have a great childhood, but I don't want to cry about it—that's in the past. Now I have a different problem that I think I can solve. Or maybe I can't. But I want to do something about it.

One last thing I should probably mention: there was almost a serious accident on the road earlier today. I wasn't actually there to witness it firsthand, but my father was driving through the area and told me all about how things nearly went sideways. I almost ended up in a physical altercation with that other driver earlier today. It was one of those incredibly tense moments where things escalated so quickly, though I managed to keep my cool. There was this one time when he was absolutely fuming, acting like the world was ending, only to eventually blurt out the most ridiculous excuse I’ve ever had the displeasure of hearing. He actually tried to pin the blame on his mother, claiming it was all her fault because she didn't step in and stop him from getting into a fight—even though, in reality, no fight ever even took place!

I had been contemplating exactly this kind of thing.

I was wondering if you could elaborate a bit more on what else specifically bothers you about them; you touched on a few points earlier, but I'd love to hear more about those little things that rub you the wrong way. Also, looking at the bigger picture, does your father have a general tendency toward aggressive or volatile behavior?

Zachary James5 said:Back when I was a sophomore living in the dorms at State University, I definitely got taken advantage of. Especially by my roommates back then. I know how that goes, so I'll follow your advice and stay mindful of that in the future.

I am truly sorry to hear that.

If you wouldn't mind, could you perhaps elaborate on how exactly that would work? I’m curious whether you were thinking in terms of direct material support, or if you had something else in mind—perhaps through providing specific services or professional expertise instead?

Whether you’re naturally organized or a bit of a mess doesn't actually have much bearing on whether you can handle demanding roles. 🤷
I mean, washing dishes isn't exactly rocket science, but if someone hasn't spent any time doing manual labor or keeping a kitchen tidy, they aren't going to magically develop those habits overnight.

So, I was wondering—what exactly makes this situation such a headache? Is it just their general lack of tidiness, or is there more to the story that you haven't mentioned yet?
You certainly covered a lot of ground in your post.

Do you ever worry that if they end up splitting up, you won't be able to focus enough to actually finish your degree?

Let’s be honest: you aren't going to change them, not by a long shot. Even if you somehow manage to nudge things in a better direction for a little while, once you move out—once that "buffer zone" you provide is gone—they’ll likely drift right back to their old ways.
It’s simply because they’ve spent a lifetime settling into their own routines, which have been established far longer than yours ever will be. Breaking deep-seated habits is notoriously difficult; for most people, walking away from the way they've always done things feels incredibly heavy.

I can certainly see why their messiness gets under your skin, especially if you're the type of person who naturally leans toward being organized and disciplined. It’s a different way of existing. On top of that, there's the added pressure of the expectation that you should handle the more strenuous physical chores—the traditional "provider" or "helper" role—and fighting against those ingrained social expectations can be an uphill battle. 😁

The real question we should look at is just how much they are actually weighing on you. You've shared quite a bit in your recent posts about how much this bothers you, and it sounds like it could become a significant issue if left unaddressed.

Everyone’s situation is a bit different, really, unless we’re opening up a massive general discussion thread. I mean, if you look at our moderation logs, you'll see just how many threads we have to clear out on a daily basis.

Your specific thread was taken down because it flagged as spam, plain and simple.

My apologies for the delay in getting back to you!

I agree that there's no need to bring this thread back; it just doesn't really fit the vibe of this subforum anymore.
You might have better luck starting a fresh discussion elsewhere. 🙂

I was out hiking in the woods earlier today. 😁 And let me tell you, the bugs absolutely went to town on me. I’m talking dozens of bites 😢 all over—from my shoulders and hips right down to my toes. 😲

I tried slathering myself in some lotion, but honestly, it hasn't done a thing.
Does anyone know of a reliable remedy to soothe this maddening itch? I’m trying my absolute best to stay calm and stop scratching, but it’s becoming an uphill battle, and I’ve ended up with some pretty nasty scratch marks. 😳 They aren't exactly pleasant to look at.

I remember when Kamagel used to be the go-to solution, but it seems like they haven't carried it in ages; I’ve spent way too much time scouring every local pharmacy in the area looking for it.

placidjackal36 said:Is it because of the lyrics? I’m finding them a bit confusing; I actually stumbled upon a discussion online where someone mentioned sexual assault. I honestly can't quite figure out what they were referring to. 🤷

Well, the lyrics definitely have a spooky vibe—it feels a little stalkerish and just radiates this intense paranoia, though there's also a sense of being fully aware of that fear. 😁 Maybe even a slight fascination with it. 😳

To me, it feels more like an exploration of the fear of assault rather than the act itself. 😕

The melody really stuck in my head, if I do say so myself. It has such a great rhythm, and I absolutely love the atmosphere they created.

And this time it's actually happening to her
And it's the first time it's happening to her

I think there's some sort of addition at the end that I don't quite grasp, especially since it repeats when the line repeats. I tried searching for the lyrics online, but I couldn't find anything.

I’ve spent some time listening to all six tracks, and honestly, "Night Shadows" is the only one that really grabbed me. There’s something about those bass lines in "Mountain Village" that feels solid, though the track itself doesn't quite stick in my mind as much as I hoped it would.

Personally, I find myself leaning more toward The Cure when it comes to that specific vibe. I wouldn't call myself a die-hard superfan, but I can certainly appreciate their work—I actually happen to own every single one of their albums, purely by chance 😳.

So, I’ve been taking a look back at that deleted thread, and even though I wasn't the one who hit the delete button, I actually think the moderators made the right call here.

The poll itself felt a bit aimless, and honestly, the discussion wasn't really going anywhere productive 😁, plus the subject matter would have been much better suited for a different sub-forum.

And then, after all that, you still went ahead and started a new thread with that title

Listen, you fascists, what exactly was the reasoning behind nuking the thread?

In my opinion, you don't really have much ground to stand on for a complaint. You actually got off easy; if I had caught that immediately, you wouldn't just be looking at a warning for breaking the sub-forum rules—you'd be facing a full ban. 🙂

Christian Taylor3 said:God, there’s just so much noise here that people are going to miss the point. Let's try not to confuse everyone. If you've already handed out a warning or a penalty to someone, please at least specify which subforum you're talking about (you mentioned trolling and then brought up apples and oranges—what does a justified penalty for trolling have to do with reviving old threads?). For instance, over on the Movie Discussion board, rules against digging up ancient threads (regardless of how many years old they are) are worth their weight in gold.

I honestly assumed everyone here was aware of which moderator oversees which section of the site. 😁>

We're talking about the Politics subforum, where resurrecting an old thread just to post something vague like "I agree" or dropping a single smiley face is considered trolling.

While those kinds of posts are usually penalized anyway, if they are part of an attempt to revive an old discussion, I issue a custom penalty that carries more weight and typically lasts longer.

Is that a bit clearer now? 🙂>

Michelle Mitchell17 said:I’m actually the complete opposite 😁 if I miss out on something I really wanted to see, I just pretend I don't care when I really do.

I just stay home and cry and feel like my life is over. 😬

Ugh, and there have been so many times like that lately. 😬 I end up feeling down for days afterward because I missed out. 🙂

ummm.... yeah 😁 I caught parts of Coachella Valley Music and Arts Festival—not the whole thing, obviously—but I saw some acts near the Bud Light stage. I didn't make it to the Ericsson stage at all, even though I really wanted to go cheer on The Killers, but I was busy grabbing food at the time 😢 .

The Killers. 😲
You've got to be kidding me. 😢

I was actually grabbing a bite to eat right around the time Maroon 5 started their set. 😳

Michelle Mitchell17 said:Oh my gosh, that just feels so fake and honestly kind of silly. 😲

Personally, if I'm not truly feeling the vibe, I simply won't go, no matter how trendy or cool everyone else thinks the event is. 🤷

I’ve definitely had those moments myself where I find myself at some event I have absolutely zero interest in attending, purely because I want to support my group of friends, 🙄 and you end up spending the whole time putting on this big act, pretending you're actually having a blast, though it only lasts so long.

And then you go home and you cry and you want to die. 😬

Were you hanging out at the Budweiser Stage the entire time?

frozentinker432 said:I honestly can't say for sure; I’ve attended quite a few concerts myself over the years, and my taste in bands is all over the place, so... I’ve been sitting here wondering which bands I should actually sit down and give my full attention to lately. It feels like there's always something new to discover, doesn't it?I’ve always had my fair share of grievances with certain bands that just get under my skin, but this was truly the first time I felt genuinely let down by the actual musical performance itself. Perhaps I was just too distracted by Wayne’s constant rambling and little monologues between the songs, which really threw me off my stride.

How on earth does one even fake the experience of actually listening to a band? 😕

I remember once attending a concert for a band I had absolutely never heard of—honestly, I hadn't even gone out of my way to listen to their music before that night. 🤣 It was honestly just incredible. 🙏

They certainly aren't my absolute favorites, though.

I have to admit, those incredibly oversized hands at the very end were just a bit much—it felt almost comical!

I honestly thought they were quite wonderful. 😳

To be perfectly honest, the law is a bit of a toss-up. I remember one particular day when I spent the entire afternoon just sitting by the edge of the local reservoir, completely lost in thought, watching people attempt to walk through the water. 😢 I must say, that little smiley face really brightened my mood! It’s funny how such a simple gesture can add a touch of warmth to the conversation. Hope you're having a wonderful day!

The game was absolutely fantastic; I truly had a wonderful time watching it. 😍 I was just sitting here reflecting on things, and I couldn't help but think about how much certain moments can truly shape our perspective. It’s funny how life works that way, isn't it? One minute you're just going about your day, and the next, you're hit with a realization that feels both profound and strangely comforting. It really makes you appreciate the quiet, steady rhythm of existence.

I imagine they were probably being touted as the main attraction because of the sheer scale of the production. At the end of the day, people just have an incredible appetite for a grand spectacle. 🤷

Linda Barrett87 said:What does a Massive Attack set actually feel like if you’re standing about a hundred yards back, or if you happen to catch them when the sound system is subpar and they haven't invested in those heavy visual elements, the lighting rigs, or the high-end production? Honestly, without all that extra flair, it just feels flat. 🙂

I’ve been lucky enough to attend quite a few live shows over the years—though I won't bore you with an exhaustive list of every venue and tour I've been on—but that really isn't the point I'm trying to make here.

I have to say, I find myself respectfully disagreeing with that take. 🙂 It really is a fundamental shift. We have to realize that music isn't just about someone pounding on a drum or everyone jumping around a bonfire while shouting in rhythm anymore. Nowadays, every single concert or festival has evolved into this massive, immersive audio-visual experience. It doesn't necessarily need to be all flashy confetti and balloons falling from the rafters, but the lighting design? That is absolutely essential to the soul of the show.

To be perfectly honest, I found Massive Attack to be quite underwhelming regardless; they just weren't really my cup of tea.

Your friend has great taste. 😁

I can't say I was an expert or anything; I had listened to them a bit on YouTube leading up to the show, but honestly, the whole experience was just incredible. 🤷 They sound absolutely phenomenal live. I’ve been to enough concerts over the years to develop a bit of an ear for whether a band actually knows how to play their instruments or if they're just faking it. 😕

And I even ended up tipping one of those little indie kids 😳

Though, if I'm being completely honest, I still think LCD Soundsystem was way better. 😁

frozentinker432 said:just so I could get to my beer faster😢

And that was mainly because I was busy trying to keep an eye on the crew from BSS😢

🤣

You really should have joined us! Honestly, we had them dancing their hearts out at the Coachella Valley Music and Arts Festival.😁

But I will say, the singalong during I Can Be a Frog was absolutely wonderful.😕