Posts by Andrew Garcia2

I’m doing better, I guess, but the depression is always lurking somewhere in the shadows... there's this constant fear of the fear itself, and honestly, that's the hardest part to deal with. Sometimes I don't even understand my own head, so I don't really bother looking for understanding from anyone else.

I saw this movie on TV about two years ago... It was alright. Not exactly a masterpiece, but definitely worth a watch if you have the time.

Man, it’s such a bummer I can’t make it to the 😢
this year.

boredom, jealousy...
I think it's the latter that hits hardest

Karen Smith9 said:Well, if we're talking about the Middle Ages—I'd definitely go with Ingmar Bergman's The Seventh Seal.

Huh. I was actually waiting for someone to say this. 😁
Bergman's stuff is always rooted in psychology, so trying to label The Seventh Seal as some medieval horror or thriller is just... kind of silly.
Sure, it takes place back then, but we should be looking at what the movie is actually about, right?
It's really a metaphor for how fleeting life is and searching for meaning in the face of death...
Classic Bergman. 😁
I mean, the movie is great, it just doesn't really fit this specific topic.

amberwalker4 said:I haven't seen that one. Is it that mercenary movie starring Rutger Hauer? Not sure what kind of horror elements are actually in there.

Rutger Hauer?
Hmm, is it even worth the watch?
I've never really been a huge fan of his.

So, there's this local film archive here in Seattle, and they’re about to kick off their fall lineup...
Over the summer, they ran a series featuring Dennis Hopper and Hitchcockian classics, plus some Fassbinder and Buñuel too...
I'm really curious to see what they have in store for us this season.😁

depressor
just some side project from Vanja out of Anal Mandica
more processing
ugh 😬

It’s going to be tough for him to recapture that magic from the eighties Carpenter's era... I don't know, the film just doesn't feel particularly promising to me.

I'm watching!

haha... honestly, I'm just counting down the days until this movie drops so I can see what kind of gamble they're actually taking here.

Hey, does anyone know when tickets actually go on sale? I was just out in Dallas recently, and they haven't even gotten their hands on them yet... I know it's way too early to be asking, but I guess I’m just a total control freak.

I’m also someone dealing with hearing loss, and I can tell you that I definitely feel those vibrations sometimes... I don't want to go labeling myself or claiming I have some weird connection to these phenomena, but I just feel it... like, I'll sense something slam against the first floor or something, even when my roommates don't notice a thing... often when I lean my hand against something, I can feel the vibrations... there's just something there, you know?

I'm really looking forward to seeing Metallica... it’s gonna be such a blast, a total party. I just hope they actually play some stuff from their older albums, because honestly, this newer direction hasn't really clicked for me. Plus, Nightwish is on the bill, and they actually sound pretty good.

Mark Harris66 said:That’s terrible—I deal with the exact same thing. Lip reading is such a struggle, especially when you need perfect conditions—good lighting, quiet rooms, you name it—but I guess you just learn how to manage it as you get older. Still, the daily grind of it is exhausting 😁... You aren't alone in this, either. There are plenty of people dealing with this in your county, and I actually have some family and friends living out in your neck of the woods too
Sent you a PM

Most of us operate this way😉
Is it just me, or does it feel like this is more common among women? Seriously, looking at this thread and that one other one from before, it seems like it’s mostly women chiming in here.🤷

Mark Harris66 said:There’s a massive difference between being deaf and hard of hearing. I actually sit right on the line between those two 😉
I hang out constantly with the "hearing impaired" crowd—both the hard of hearing and the profoundly deaf—so I get a real look at all three worlds.
For someone who is profoundly deaf, sound just isn't a thing... there's zero perception of it. To them, sound is just a symbol that separates them from the "normal" world—just a concept—and they can't even begin to wrap their heads around what sound actually is or how it feels.
Basically, you can't generalize. In the deaf community, it's rare to find someone who is 100% deaf and hears absolutely nothing. Some people pick up certain sounds—like a nail gun, engine turbulence, or the hum coming from a subwoofer if you're standing next to it 😳l: etc. Everyone's range is different. Even for me, the same frequency sounds totally different depending on which hearing aid I'm wearing.
A friend of mine was born profoundly deaf and couldn't hear a nail gun even if it was right next to her ear 😁. After getting a cochlear implant, she had this total shock to her system—it was the first time she actually realized sound exists. Before the surgery, though, she had already mastered her native language and, of course, abstract thought. Deaf people grasp abstract concepts; they just process them differently than hearing people do. They use symbols, but not "verbal" ones.
Deaf people tend to be very visual types—their whole mental perception is almost entirely visual. Even I—and I can hear pretty much everything with my hearing aid (though nothing without it)—listen to music, but I can't actually understand speech. I can hear the pitch, the tone, and everything else perfectly, but for understanding words, I have to rely on lip-reading and logical deduction based on what I see. My thinking process is nearly 100% visual. So, how did I learn to think abstractly? It took a ton of work—the big factors were just thinking deeply and reading a lot. Plus, you need solid logic. You can't do anything without logic 🙏 and a bit of intuition (yeah, intuition plays a part too)
People who are hard of hearing *do* hear sounds, whether they have aids or not. And again, their perception depends on the level of hearing loss, the quality of their tech, and so on. They don't strictly think in visuals like some others do.
Sign language involves using both hands. What kids often use in school is actually just a manual alphabet, whereas true sign language uses one hand for things like spelling out names.
Sign language is fundamentally different from spoken language. Unfortunately, learning only sign language doesn't provide a great foundation for understanding spoken English, because sign language has a more limited vocabulary and lacks many abstract terms (for example, how would you sign "misanthrope"? You'd probably just sign "a person who hates people")
.. I won't go on about sign language, though—not the topic here.
By the way, is it actually true that white cats are deaf? That's news to me 🤷.. It's hard to believe. Is that just specific breeds (I'm no cat expert 🤣), or what?
Also, someone mentioned a hard-of-hearing teacher back in high school. I'm really curious how much hearing loss that person actually had and if they were working in the US. I struggle to imagine how that works in a classroom—teaching, or when students are doing oral exams and the teacher can't catch what they're saying... or when kids ask questions during a lecture. I know of a teacher at a high school in Chicago (if she's still there, I think she moved to the US) who taught art, but she wasn't really hard of hearing—more on the hearing side than the deaf side.
I know, I know—way too many questions at once—but I just stumbled upon this thread...
ps. Silence actually has its own sound. For me, the "silence" feels totally different depending on whether I've got my hearing aid in or not. When I’m wearing it, silence has a certain texture, even if there isn't an actual noise—yeah, I know, oxymoron alert 🤣—but without the hearing aid, silence is just... nothing. A total void.
bijela_maca, you're lucky you live in Canada! 😉
filthy, what part of the States are you in? It’s a shame you haven't met anyone else like yourself yet—it would definitely make things easier on your headspace. But you'll get through all these hurdles eventually... things really do start looking up as you get older.

I get what you mean. It’s pretty much the same thing for people who are blind... how do you explain sound to someone who can't hear? How do you explain color to someone who can't see?
When I was born, my hearing loss was mild, but now it's gotten pretty serious. I have significant damage, and when I take my hearing aids out, everything just goes silent. I actually like the quiet sometimes, but it can feel a little eerie, especially if I haven't worn my aids all day. I rely on lip-reading quite a bit, which helps make talking easier, though it really depends on things like how loud the room is, the lighting, or how fast someone talks. Honestly, I’d love to find a group of other hard-of-hearing people to hang out with. Right now, I feel like I'm totally alone in this. I live out near Orlando, 🙂
Feel free to shoot me a PM if you want to ask anything at all.

redmarlin3 said:Yap, NYC. 🙂 As for socialization, I don't think it went particularly well. See, deaf kids would head straight to the FBI after school for daycare, so they didn't really hang out with the rest of us much. They mostly just stuck together with the other deaf kids.

I guess you just stick with your own kind🙂..for me, I didn't have any kids like me growing up in my neighborhood, so I was forced to hang out with kids who weren't like me... I really wish there had been at least one other deaf kid around. It would've been nice to have that psychological support, and more importantly, someone who actually understands what I'm going through.

bluewalker33 said:I talk to them normally, though I'll shout "WHAT?" once in a while and get the usual look... But the real issue is the audio on the TV when some American movie is playing. It sounds nasty and I can't always make out what they're saying.

Tech has come a long way with these digital tones, but even then, it’s never quite sounded natural. Still, technology keeps moving forward, so there's hope. Honestly, sometimes I'll just pull my hair back in a ponytail at school and hope someone notices the hearing aids... or maybe I'll just tell them myself that I can't hear and ask them to speak up a bit...

I get that. That's actually why I don't watch much TV, and don't even get me started on those old classic films from around here... I struggle to follow them, even though some of them are absolute masterpieces. But damn it, my hearing sucks, if you'll excuse my language... Sometimes I just cover my ears, or pull a few strands of hair down over them—sort of a "bohemian artist" look. It actually looks pretty good 😁... but I'm really putting my faith in technology and medicine. I'm hoping for their breakthroughs, that one day there will be a device you can implant in your ear so we can just hear again... but maybe that's just wishful thinking. 🤣

bluewalker33 said:Yeah, I know exactly how it feels... That’s why we tend to be a bit more on edge than most people; that ringing in your ears isn't exactly a pleasant soundtrack to live with. I don't wear hearing aids at home, I just lip-read my family, and if I miss something, I just let it slide... Nothing's ever that urgent anyway.

As for guys, you really have to sit them down and have a real, deep conversation to explain what it's actually like living with this. Some of them end up loving you even more because of it, while others just run for the hills out of fear 🙂.

I've never been super open about it—not really. You have to be blunt and tell them exactly how it affects you... But maybe next time when I meet someone new. Actually, I met a guy today and we're grabbing coffee tomorrow; he's about eight years younger than me, so I doubt we'll get serious... But who knows what's going to happen. At least I won't be bored during summer break with him around. He's new in town and hasn't met many people yet.

Yeah, because we're always thinking ahead, analyzing things before we even take the first step (that's a bit metaphorical, but you get what I mean?). I told a guy about the issues I have, but I didn't tell him how it actually makes me *feel*. That's my business, and I don't want anyone prying into that... And man, that metallic sound is just awful. If only they could build some kind of noise neutralizer into the hearing aids, or at least make the feedback less jarring... Anyway, how do you deal with people? Do they notice when something is off with your hearing? This thread about being deaf turned into a whole thread about us, the hard-of-hearing 😛

bluewalker33 said:I totally get you... Haven't lived in the States for a long time. Growing up, my neighborhood was great and everyone loved me, but elementary school was a different story. Kids could be real jerks, and I dealt with bullying pretty much constantly.

By high school, I’d grown into a cute girl, so guys started hitting on me. It actually confused some of them, considering how much I went through back in grade school. The funniest part was when I started dating—it wasn't my first boyfriend, obviously—and this one guy from elementary school who used to give me such a hard time actually acted surprised. He kept questioning my relationship, acting all jealous once he realized he'd actually grown into a decent-looking guy himself, even though he still wasn't exactly my type.

Now I'm living in Canada, and there's way less discrimination against people with disabilities. People don't really stare if you aren't dressed to the nines. There isn't nearly as much stigma as you find back home, though it still exists. And even the small amount of stigma here feels like too much sometimes, but after visiting Canada after ten years, I was honestly shocked by how much worse things are over there.

It's tough carrying this handicap most days. Sometimes I just have this intense craving to hear things more clearly. When you only have what's left of your hearing, you know what it's like to actually enjoy a favorite song. But I still wish I had better hearing—to hear natural tones without a hearing aid, or to catch every single word in an American drama... but yeah. Since our disability is invisible, people don't always get it because you can't see it, but it affects us maybe even more than those around us, just because we crave that perfect, natural sound.

Some people around here claim to be "proud" of their disability, but I'll put it this way: I'm proud of who I am and everything I've managed to achieve so far. I can say I'm proud of navigating this obstacle, but if I'm being honest, I'd much rather be proud of having better hearing...

I know how that feels. I actually avoided getting into relationships for a long time because of my own disability... but I'm finally seeing someone now. He really gets me, and he's been such an incredible support system. 🙂It’s actually kind of nice having someone here who just doesn't get it. Even if you don't understand, at least you're present. I can't tell you how many times I've sat on the bus—usually a ride longer than an hour—just wishing I could rip these devices off my face. I dream about just putting on some headphones and getting lost in music, but I can't. I have to wear them. All the time. My ears ache, my head throbs, and there's this constant whistling sound. It's exhausting. Honestly? I feel like I’d sell my soul to the devil just to have normal hearing again. I really mean that.