Posts by wanderingangler13

goldenheron6 said:I actually ended up loving my job.

But hey, thanks for all the advice anyway.

Nice job👍

Look, my advice to you is to just focus on finishing that degree out of state while simultaneously hunting for ways to gain some independence. It’s going to be an uphill battle and it won't happen overnight, but if you're actually serious about cutting ties with them, you can make it work. Also, you might find that book *Toxic Parents* pretty eye-opening.👍

wanderingotter53 said:But couldn't you get there without all that?

I get where you're coming from if you grew up under a thumb—you know, being strictly controlled or even getting mocked when you didn't fall in line. But honestly, don't make it out to be this massive tragedy. It's a trait that can definitely be unlearned. Once you head off to college somewhere else and start living on your own, you’ll probably shake it off naturally. You'll have to make your own calls, negotiate with people, and handle things yourself. It happens.

Honestly, maybe you'll actually get further in life that way....

Gerald Jackson4 said:I don't believe there is much utility in providing an exhaustive definition of what Melancholy entails... It essentially defines a person's entire character. I am curious about the lived experiences of those navigating similar waters. How does one exist when their very nature feels devoid of momentum? When nothing brings joy, nothing sparks motivation, and even the most fundamental tasks—maintaining hygiene, interacting with others, running errands, or managing work and college—feel like a source of profound tension and discomfort... I am certain there is no magic solution, but I wanted to open this up for discussion. How does one truly live with Melancholy?

Here is some info on Melancholy and how to deal with it:

"Treatment approaches for

Nowadays, it is recommended to start antidepressant treatment alongside psychotherapy immediately, specifically using Selective Serotonin Reuptake Inhibitors (SSRIs). According to various studies, antidepressant use shows positive results for about 45 to 55 percent of patients with Melancholy."

http://www.mayoclinic.org/depression/info/

Even though that bolded part sounds more like clinical depression to me, I don't want to sound like a know-it-all...
I personally know a few people who pulled themselves out of depression after seeing a psychiatrist and starting medication (two of my close friends). As for myself, I deal with BPD, but I've never taken meds (since DBT is the primary therapy for BPD, so drugs aren't a requirement)... telling someone they can cure depression or Melancholy just by hanging out or taking a walk is, honestly, pretty irresponsible. Sorry, @Gerald Jackson4, but you should see a psychiatrist as soon as possible to figure out what's really going on... I don't think messing around with depression is something to take lightly.

Unfortunately, with mental health issues, there isn't really a "cure." You might manage the symptoms or get them to recede for a while, but there is no total permanent fix just because you take a pill or hang out with positive people. If you're predisposed to it, you always will be, and there's always a chance of a relapse. You can use lifestyle changes to prevent or control new episodes and these states, though...

restlesstiger49 said:It could be Melancholy, but even if we're talking about clinical depression, you can't just rely on medication to fix everything. 🧐

You're right, but therapy and medication are still the first line of defense...👍

I think what you’re actually describing is depression, not "Melancholy"... that requires medication (psychotropic drugs)...

Olivia Garcia7 said:One major roadblock to moving forward:

I’ll dive into a new relationship, and after a while, I realize it isn't working. I just say it plainly—I don't want to continue.

It happened to me before. And then, she lashed out, calling me a jerk and telling me I was trash, saying she’d rather just die than deal with how miserable she felt because of me.

I didn't do anything to her; I didn't cheat or act disrespectfully. I simply said, "I don't think this is right for me."

Now, I see that potential reaction in everyone, so I tend to stay away.

As for this one who won't let it go... I asked myself some hard questions: Could I grow old with her? Would I want to live by her side if we were struggling financially or dealing with poor health? Did I actually want to wake up next to her every single morning? I made my choice, and the answer to all of those was no.

In the end, she decided to swap me out like a pair of shoes that just went out of style...

You're overthinking this and getting obsessed with her. You need to pull yourself out of this loop ASAP, otherwise you'll just sink deeper trying to replay everything she did or didn't do. If you can't break the cycle on your own—and you might not be able to if you're just spinning your wheels—maybe try talking to a professional...

lavore said:She clearly has a personality disorder, but you've got your own mental struggle to deal with.

@wrecked5000 Sorry, but that's not a wrong assessment... try not to let these same thoughts take over. If you can't stop and you're wasting too much time dwelling on the past, then yeah, it's a problem, especially if you tend toward being more melancholic...

Why not just go see a professional? Social anxiety is a serious disorder, and it’s much better to deal with it early on rather than dragging out the symptoms for years... because it isn't just going to vanish on its own.

.....Look, you probably already know that nobody can force medication on you if you aren't on board (they might suggest something for calming down, at most), but we can actually talk through things and dig into what's causing this behavior in the first place... If social anxiety were cured just by pumping people full of pills, nobody would have an issue with it. Besides, hitting the bottle isn't any healthier or more effective than medication anyway.

.....To actually uproot these issues, you need long-term, deep work on yourself. The sooner you start, the less chance this behavior has to take hold of your life.

Reading Kennedy's first post feels like I'm looking in a mirror (honestly, I wanted to start a thread just like this myself)😵...for me, it’s a mix of genetics, stress, a terrible diet, and mental burnout... though it's probably mostly genetic at this point. There isn't much you can do about it other than overhaul your lifestyle and work on training your focus and memory...

ambertinker10 said:I admitted at the very outset that I was uncertain if my reaction constitutes a genuine form of empathy...

Perhaps it is more akin to being wary of certain "silent killers"...

On one hand, I appreciate technology, and indeed I rely upon it now, yet one must ask: why do we labor so incessantly? Why do we permit ourselves to be exploited simply to acquire a slightly better car or a larger house?

Are you actually following the series itself, or do you truly understand how that character was intended to be perceived?

The reality is that he arrived here, having been deported from Germany, separated from his daughter, and he simply lives his life as it comes...

The crux of the matter is that he is content; perhaps people in that region of Turkey still live without much more than that today...

I concede that I occasionally find him difficult to understand, but the discussion ought to have focused more on the latter points: on the character of Firat himself, or perhaps the dynamics within the Šamverd family...

Yeah... still doesn't make any more sense than it did before.🤷 Maybe someone who actually understands what this thread is about will bother to answer...

😉

ambertinker10 said:I find myself in complete agreement.

Yet, one cannot help but wonder: how much of this is truly beneficial for our well-being? Much of what we are being presented with simply isn't healthy.😛

...just looked back at the original post. Honestly, I can't tell—do you actually have a hard time empathizing with characters in shows and getting invested (like you claimed in the title), or is your issue more about how civilization and technology are destroying us (those last questions)? And what exactly are these "similar problems" you're talking about? Is it just because we all happen to like Firat?..🤷....

It’s definitely not entirely normal or healthy to get this obsessed with TV shows... or to empathize with these characters as if they were actual people...

I’m always down to meet new people here in Miami, even though my circle is already pretty full... By the way, I run a little free Italian study group, and I’m planning on starting a free English one soon too. We can link up sometime over in Paradise or near Bajamont (Miamians will know what I mean...). If anyone is looking for some company and wants to practice a foreign language, just reach out. And don't worry—I'm actually totally normal in real life, not this internet crazy person you see online. 😁

David Ross3 said:I'm right there with you on this. Honestly, I know there's something stuck inside me too—the worst part is, I don't even have a clue what it is. 🤔🤦

If you don't have the chance to sit down with a professional right now, just try journaling...👍

hiddeneagle98 said:How exactly are you supposed to "buy time"?

Do you just outsource the workload to someone else because you can't keep up on your own?

👍

I just woke up and my typing is all over the place, but you get the gist. I'm at work right now, so clearly my focus is shot. 😵

placidwolf27 said:It’s all well and good until you’re staring down a hard deadline—one dictated by rigid specifications and impossible parameters—and you realize you simply don't have the bandwidth or the resources to make it happen under those exact constraints. When there is absolutely no room for maneuvering, no way to "pivot," and certainly no space to lean on the hollow crutch of positive psychology just to feel better about a disaster... when the reality is that certain tasks physically cannot be completed within those arbitrary windows, regardless of how you slice it... then all that optimistic talk becomes utterly meaningless. In those moments, the fluff doesn't solve anything; it just makes the person left holding the bag look incompetent, unprofessional, or irresponsible, even when they're being perfectly realistic...

I was trying to say that anxiety totally wiped you out (not "theme")... look, man, do not quit. If we followed your logic, anyone dealing with mental health struggles would just give up, because everything you listed describes basically every psychological disorder out there. Send me a DM; I can tell you how I "survived"—and honestly, I'm still fighting and just trying to get by after four years of similar hell. Dealing with these feelings is brutal... but whatever happens, DO NOT quit your career.

placidwolf27 said:No, the truth is I accepted a role that I simply don't have the bandwidth or the expertise to handle right now—I let myself be talked into it when I should have just stood my ground and said no... everything in me was just pushing me to say "why not, give it a shot," so I went along with it, and now I'm stuck with this sinking realization that I’m completely out of my depth... it feels like I'm just stalling and dragging everyone else down with me. And the worst part isn't even the internal guilt of knowing I'm backing out; it's the fact that people are going to remember me saying one thing and then doing another—especially since I handed over my professional reputation and contacts to make this happen, which, unfortunately, isn't the first time I've stumbled into this mess...

On the bright side, we haven't actually kicked anything off yet, and there isn't a signed contract on the table...

Look, whatever topic you think got you worked up... don't just walk away from work in this economy. Seriously. I've been struggling through a job for four years now that I'm totally unqualified for and barely have the capacity to handle (I'm borderline), but I have zero intention of quitting. The absolute worst thing you can do is sit around at home making excuses.

placidwolf27 said:well, if I had any inkling of what was coming—and clearly, I didn't—we wouldn't be sitting here right now...

I don't get it... you took the job, the job is total garbage, and now you're sitting there regretting not turning it down? 🤷?