Posts by reddriver35

Look, 🤦 it’s really not that simple.

If anyone actually gives a damn about Slafk on this forum, then that person is me. Except, I'm just a little kitten.

Slafk got a three-day ban, went on a rant, and ended up getting his ban extended to a month. At least, that's how I saw it. There’s a lot to catch up on. He’s mostly right, but he has one major flaw: he doesn't know when to quit. Instead of pointing out injustice gracefully, he just cranks up the pressure.

Why does he act like that? Maybe because nobody listens to him? Ever wonder about that?

I'll be the first to admit it. Every time I get a warning—even if it's totally unfair—it doesn't matter. I can do whatever I want because I'm a moderator. And who am I going to complain to? The city water board? 😢

So, I resorted to spamming tactics. I even had a bet going on how long I could last before getting banned. I even have a tracker for my spamming on the trash threads. It was my defense mechanism.

Secondly, regarding Persephone. Where is she? Nowhere to be found? She wasn't fair to me this past summer. She knows it, too. I didn't complain. I thought about messaging Belwether, the former admin, but I backed off. I was afraid things would escalate and cause more damage. But I did call Persephone out on LJES. I admit it. But I don't do that anymore. I won't ever do it again. I think enough has been said. My point in writing this is that she just doesn't cooperate. You never see her in the women's corner. She'll flag my spam, but sometimes she won't. You never know when or how much off-topic behavior is allowed. 😕

My off-topic posts were never hate speech. Sure, there was some trolling involved. And that got deleted. I didn't get flagged for it then. When I spam, I'm being funny and entertaining. Especially when 4fun joins in—it's a winning combo. An NBC sitcom couldn't touch us. 😁

But I agree, you shouldn't overdo it. And I'll admit, for the millionth time, that I did overdo it.

Why am I mad at Persephone? Because of three warnings she gave me that she didn't have to. 😢 It was on my own thread and wasn't even off-topic. It wasn't even close to the stuff I was quoting on this thread, where the loose cannons of the forum were chasing Nicholas.😢 That's just not fair, folks. 👎

She flagged me because:

1. I wrote that I'm a Libra.
2. I asked a user how she did her makeup.
3. I wrote that I don't like fighting.

That's three warnings, 10 points each. Since I already had 590 points, adding those 30 brought me to 620, which triggered a seven-day cooling-off period in the forum's VIP lounge with a message saying: "Stop chatting"!!

And yeah, no one ever comes to the banned users' corner for me. 😢 Except feraltrucker5 and scripte elegans fe. 😍

As for Steven Ruiz, Steven Ruiz had a blast down there. Which isn't fair. It seems like the former mod gets special treatment from us little guys.

Anyway, I saw that the top-tier mods stepped in. I think that's it. In the end, it turns out we're all equal.

But what I really want is for you to respond to inquiries in the banned corner for other users, too. Because from what I can see, you people in the women's corner don't care at all. And that's the problem.

This whole discussion is pointless if the users and moderators don't talk about the things that bother both sides.

What bothers me is the arrogance, the laziness, and the recklessness of certain moderators.

I’m just trying to point out these irregularities in a decent way. I’d love to see other members join in and contribute to this thread. Let's keep it civilized.

I know there are issues over in Recreation and Religion. But wouldn't it be better if someone actually spoke up with specifics? It feels like the problem is spreading across the entire forum.

If you ask me, the real issue here is that the general culture among users is just lacking. 👎

velvettiger10 said:Some topics just don't grab me, and for others, I've already said everything I have to say, plus I rarely have the actual time to sit down and write long posts even when I really want to join the conversation.
Between work and home life, the window I get to spend on this forum is mostly spent reading through threads and occasionally chiming in if there's actually something worth contributing.

Take that guy from the story at the beginning, for instance. He was clearly shaken up, and instead of being helpful, people just jumped him, leaving him totally rattled. That’s why I think people should step in to point out when a thread's tone is becoming toxic. It's not like everyone here is charming, bold, or perfectly composed all the time. There are insecure people out there, too. We should try to show some empathy.
Just go read Nicholas's thread and see what he wrote. In my opinion, the moderator really dropped the ball there.

I'm not trying to step on anyone's toes regarding how they manage things, but personally, I would have wiped a few of those inappropriate comments immediately. I tend to do that myself whenever people start acting out or being obnoxious right at the start of a thread.

I reached out to him via PM. He got back to me yesterday with an update. He actually took my advice to heart, though he still has questions. The thing is, with his current approach, he can't exactly ask these things openly on the public forum. But he could. And frankly, I don't have the bandwidth to constantly reply to PMs from forum users who are acting desperate.

Look, I think it's great that Nicholas went out for coffee with that girl. 🙂
I don't see him as some obsessive forum addict; I see a guy who sees you as a friend—someone he can turn to for advice or a bit of encouragement regarding what he's doing.

People keep reaching out to me, which tells me they feel understood. So now, I'm asking the moderators to try and foster an atmosphere where everyone feels welcome.
A place where we actually discuss things rather than just attacking someone for being a troll, stupid, pathetic, or immature.
Because the whole point of a forum is to have a discussion between different people with different perspectives.

From a moderator's standpoint, everyone is welcome in my book.
The vibe of a specific message board isn't just shaped by the mods; it's built by the users who post on it.
It’s always a breath of fresh air when I click on a thread and see that everyone is staying on topic, making it so there's no need for deletions or bans. Is there anything better than that? Personally, no. 🙂
However, those kinds of threads are rare. I honestly think we're being too soft as moderators and that we need to be more decisive with penalties. I know you won't like hearing that, and you'll probably give me a thumbs down for it, but it's the only way to actually maintain some order.

Aside from the constant bickering on LJES, everyone just ends up upvoting each other. It’s actually impossible to find a dissenting opinion around here because if you don't fall in line, you're immediately ostracized. You aren't even allowed to have a real discussion if you consider yourself a serious contributor, which ultimately strips LJES of any actual purpose.

I'm with you on that.

You're wrong. He’s on the run. I'm not the only one on this forum. There are plenty of others out there. And just like you, I don't exactly have the luxury of time to reply to every single PMove.

If the vibe down here actually improved, we'd have plenty of other users showing up.aI’ll find some guys and girls who can actually handle this better than I can. That way, I won't be carrying the whole load myself. 😢
I can't exactly blow him off right now, but then again, I’ve got my own work to deal with.

velvettiger10 said:Some topics just don't grab me, and for others, I've already said everything I have to say, plus I rarely have the actual time to sit down and write long posts even when I really want to join the conversation.
Between work and home life, the window I get to spend on this forum is mostly spent reading through threads and occasionally chiming in if there's actually something worth contributing.

Take that guy from the story at the beginning, for instance. He was clearly shaken up, and instead of being helpful, people just jumped him, leaving him totally rattled. That’s why I think people should step in to point out when a thread's tone is becoming toxic. It's not like everyone here is charming, bold, or perfectly composed all the time. There are insecure people out there, too. We should try to show some empathy.
Just go read Nicholas's thread and see what he wrote. In my opinion, the moderator really dropped the ball there.

I'm not trying to step on anyone's toes regarding how they manage things, but personally, I would have wiped a few of those inappropriate comments immediately. I tend to do that myself whenever people start acting out or being obnoxious right at the start of a thread.

I reached out to him via PM. He got back to me yesterday with an update. He actually took my advice to heart, though he still has questions. The thing is, with his current approach, he can't exactly ask these things openly on the public forum. But he could. And frankly, I don't have the bandwidth to constantly reply to PMs from forum users who are acting desperate.

Look, I think it's great that Nicholas went out for coffee with that girl. 🙂
I don't see him as some obsessive forum addict; I see a guy who sees you as a friend—someone he can turn to for advice or a bit of encouragement regarding what he's doing.

People keep reaching out to me, which tells me they feel understood. So now, I'm asking the moderators to try and foster an atmosphere where everyone feels welcome.
A place where we actually discuss things rather than just attacking someone for being a troll, stupid, pathetic, or immature.
Because the whole point of a forum is to have a discussion between different people with different perspectives.

From a moderator's standpoint, everyone is welcome in my book.
The vibe of a specific message board isn't just shaped by the mods; it's built by the users who post on it.
It’s always a breath of fresh air when I click on a thread and see that everyone is staying on topic, making it so there's no need for deletions or bans. Is there anything better than that? Personally, no. 🙂
However, those kinds of threads are rare. I honestly think we're being too soft as moderators and that we need to be more decisive with penalties. I know you won't like hearing that, and you'll probably give me a thumbs down for it, but it's the only way to actually maintain some order.

Aside from the constant bickering on LJES, everyone just ends up upvoting each other. It’s actually impossible to find a dissenting opinion around here because if you don't fall in line, you're immediately ostracized. You aren't even allowed to have a real discussion if you consider yourself a serious contributor, which ultimately strips LJES of any actual purpose.

I'm with you on that.

You aren't the only moderator on LJES! You’re just the best one, and you just proved it by jumping into this debate. But... The moderators. You're the one running this subforum. You actually admitted that yourself in your own post.

It’s a shame. Good threads are hard to come by lately.

Palace isn't going down there. 😁 It’s not going to go any higher. All I’m saying is that we should be punishing malicious posts, not fueling a witch hunt. Why can't we just focus on the actual bad actors?

As for me, I’ll say it for the millionth time: I’m happy to admit when I'm wrong. But let's be real—I’ve basically adapted to this forum by becoming a total spammer. At the end of the day, am I actually interesting because of my posts? No. It's because of my chatting. 😢 That's just sad.😢Pathetic and poorly done. 🙂

I’m not just some mindless airhead cluttering up this forum. 🙂

I vented my soul on LJES the other day. On top. And she was laughed at, too. 🙂

velvettiger10 said:Quote:

steelskipper5 says: Look, I’m going to pivot slightly toward LJES and how things are being moderated there. Which means I'm indirectly addressing you, too. The whole "Why is the population becoming more gay?" thread basically devolved into nothing but insults and blatant hate speech. And this wasn't just a momentary lapse; it dragged on for days. I was busy reporting posts myself. Other people were also chiming in saying they had filed reports. If I take a look here and there, I can see that some of those reported posts haven't even been dealt with yet; they just sit there.

I actually handed out two warnings for hate speech on that specific thread, and if my memory serves me right, those were pretty much the exact posts you were flagging. 🙂
I'll need to go back through the report logs if I want to tell you for certain, though.

I wiped quite a few posts from that discussion while I actually had the spare time to read through them, but unfortunately, work has been a nightmare lately along with a mountain of personal stuff, so I haven't been able to dedicate much time to it.

Look, you aren't the only moderator here. And thanks for showing up to this thread.

But get this: I can't be expected to answer every single PM either. It would be a lot easier for me if people just used the public threads to argue like adults.

How many users have we chased off because they couldn't find a friend via PM?

But come on, admit it—even if it's just to yourself—that moderation on LJES isn't exactly hitting the mark right now.

It's not even about being malicious; it's mostly just ignorance and a lack of understanding.

I agree we need to enforce order. But let's do it correctly. 🙂

What really gets to me is the unfair banning due to irony or sarcasm. The moderators just don't get it. Then, when they actually need to ban a malicious post, they fail to act.

It’s like they’re doing the exact opposite of their job.

Take the case of the ban on Persephone. If the moderator had any actual competence, she wouldn't have been forced to be so brutally honest. Just another massive blunder by an incompetent mod.

Do yourselves a favor and check out the linked thread "making love." Fair warning: the topic is... unique. 😳 And honestly, it's a bit gross to read. 🙈 (If you have a strong stomach, you might actually find it funny 🤣)

The thing is, Persephone was the only one who replied to that thread. And she got banned for it.

She didn't insult anyone. She just told the truth. 🙂

Meanwhile, as steelskipper5 pointed out, you guys are letting hate speech slide right through.

So, the bans are selective.

It’s like crooked cops on the street. They slap a penalty on an honest man while criminals go about their business free as birds.

Are you scared? Or does this status quo suit you? Are you just okay with the hate speech directed at gay people and those who are insecure?

Or maybe you just don't get it. That's my guess. 😢

velvettiger10 said:
What exactly is bothering you, Prinčy? 🙂

Try being a little more specific.

What specifically about my moderation bothers you? What am I failing to do? I’d actually love to know so I can either learn how to fix it or just pack my bags if I'm truly incompetent. 🤷

You're great compared to the rest of them.

If I had one request, it would be for you to jump into discussions a bit more. Just a tiny bit more participation, if you don't mind. 🙂

Take that guy from the story at the beginning, for example. Poor kid was terrified because everyone jumped him, and he ended up shaken up. If you were there, you could have stepped in and redirected the conversation to show that kind of approach isn't okay. Not everyone is outgoing, charming, or bold. Some people are insecure. Try to understand that.
Please, read Nicholas's thread and see what he wrote. In my opinion, the moderator really dropped the ball there.

I reached out to him via PM. He messaged me yesterday with an update. He actually took my advice. He still has questions, too. But with this current atmosphere, he doesn't feel comfortable asking them on the public forum. He should be able to. But I don't have the time to spend all day answering PMs for users who are afraid to post publicly.

People are constantly messaging me privately, which tells me they relate to what's happening. So now, I'm asking the moderators to try and create an environment where everyone feels welcome.
We need actual discussion, not just people attacking someone by calling them a troll, stupid, pathetic, or immature.
The whole point of a forum is to have different people with different viewpoints talking to each other.

Aside from the chaos over at LJES, everyone just echoes each other here. It's impossible to find a dissenting opinion. You're basically rejected by default if you disagree. That prevents high-quality users from engaging in debate. And when that happens, LJES loses its entire purpose.

velvettiger10 said:
Look, I promise from here on out, everything will be strictly black and white, and no more off-topic nonsense. No more playing nice or looking the other way. Just straight-up bans. 🙂

Will that satisfy you?

N/A said:
🤦 🤣

That is exactly my point. 👎

Edit: No, it won't satisfy me!! Even if you are the best moderator on this forum, you shouldn't have done this. You completely missed my point. And I didn't expect this from you either. Neither did N/A. 👎

At least you showed up to the thread, if nothing else. 😢

Look, this thread isn't just about the specific subforum. It’s about how this entire site is managed. I’ve tried to adapt to the chaos, yet I’m still getting warnings even though I haven't actually harmed anyone. When I have something meaningful to say, I say it seriously. A little casual chatting in the social areas is fine. But this? This is a free-for-all. And they allow it. Honestly, they don't know how to fix it, nor do they seem to want to. I don't see a single moderator from that section anywhere in here.
It just goes to show how broken the system is. The moderators aren't even showing up. So arrogant!!

And regarding the users and their issues with the Recreation section, it's the exact same story! Nobody shows up to offer anything constructive or point out what's actually wrong.

And I'm the idiot for starting this thread. 😢

There's your answer. It's better to spam and play the clown than to actually contribute something intelligent. 😢

They practically encourage the spam, then slap you with a warning for it. To make matters worse, they penalize high-quality posts while leaving these mindless, negative rants untouched. 😕 Isn't the goal to foster discussion through example? They fail at that. It proves they can't tell the difference between actual trolling and someone just using sarcasm, irony, or a bit of humor.
The thing is, those kinds of posts are often indirectly on-topic and actually help the conversation.

But how am I supposed to explain that to you if you won't even try to understand? 🤷

This is the second time I've looked like a fool right here on this American forum this week. 😢

I've been punked! Part two. 😢 😢

...
@wiredharbor22: Maybe I'll just send it to my boss in the end.

wiredharbor22 said:
Look, this forum has always been like this. Occasionally, a topic pops up on the General Discussion board that doesn't actually belong there. It should be moved over to the Off-Topic section, but it stays put because everyone knows the OP won't get any real answers—they'll just get drowned in a sea of jokes at their expense. 🤷

Are you implying I'm playing Don Quixote tonight? 😢

P.S. Should I tell this guy to start a thread in General Discussion, or just have them move it? 🤷

wearyotter81 said:
This is adorable! 😬

Thanks, I know I am pretty. 😁

Let's talk about my inbox for a second. 🤣

The truth is, I contribute more to this forum than some of the actual moderators. And yet, I can't seem to climb down from my pedestal of shame. 🙂

Since we're being sweet, let's clarify the connection between me and the mods.

Sometimes the moderators go overboard, handing out bans without thinking twice. I saw it happen with my own eyes when N/A got banned. Meanwhile, the jerk who actually caused the reaction didn't get a thing. In this thread

Unfairly Banned Post

Sorry you have to read this. It's a bit grotesque. 🤦
The only person who actually had anything useful to say in that thread was the one who got banned. Honestly, I just find it hilarious now. 🤣

I often find myself laughing at this place. It feels like something straight out of "Monty Python". 🤣

So yeah, they ban me too. I know I'm on the moderators' blacklist.
Fine. I'll admit my mistakes, but maybe the mods should look at their own.

They don't participate in the discussion. Just saying "maybe" like a brick wall isn't enough. 😬

You're supposed to build a good atmosphere. De-escalate things. Sometimes jumpstart a stale debate. Hint: look at how a fairy handles things over at Psychology.

And another thing. I once went to the women's section and my posts were deleted. They called me and a few others "chronic arguers with an attitude problem"😢
in the thread lesbian anthem 🤣, and honestly, I still think it's funny. : D

They don't even know me.

placidfalcon4 said:
The point I'm making is simple: not every moderator is out to get you.🙂

Where could I find a better example than mine? Isn't that guy a legend over at the local YMCA?😁 So, half the forum went after her, other mods were busy scrubbing her posts, and yet? She’s still a moderator.🤷 And you’d be looking for a solution, too?.🙏

I can speak to this one. As for the rest, I’ve got nothing to say.🙂

Look, I’m not saying everyone here is a villain. My point is simple: this forum is poorly moderated.

Like you said. Half the forum migrated just because of her, yet she’s still holding onto that moderator spot. I've heard things about her. I don't really hang out in the Sports section, so I wouldn't know for sure.

Look, I'm giving you all an opening here. Why not take it? Write something about it. 🙂

Alright, let's get into it...

N/A said:
The second I saw you were 24 and she was 26, I knew it wouldn't work. End of story. Fairy tale over. Plus, you sound insecure. Older women aren't really looking for younger guys who lack confidence. : rofl:

N/A said:
I don't want this thread to go off the rails. Based on my post, it might look like I'm some terrified kid, but I didn't write everything out because I'd have to pen a whole novel. Bottom line: I'm not some scared little boy, but I'm no Don Quixote either...
Just an average guy who isn't afraid to approach women. It's a bit tricky right now since she's older, but I'm not a loser....
What I'm actually wondering about is timing. Should I make a move immediately so I know where I stand, or would I have better odds by playing it slow and hanging out more to see if something lasts????
The worst thing would be waiting too long and never even trying :not sure:

timid moderator

N/A said:
That’s what I was thinking too. 😁

As far as advice goes, the best suggestion was from Ona007... just shoot her a message saying When are we grabbing coffee? and then wait.... 😁
That's what I would do... hopefully. 😁

N/A said:
It's not bad; that's usually my strategy anyway, though it feels a bit shallow 😁

This is slightly better.

says:
It’s not shallow.
Just ask her out for a drink—no extra explanation needed. Let her figure out what kind of drink you mean and why. 😁

the guy's got issues

says:
Hmm, she’s a bit different from most girls. I don't think that typical "alpha" move works on her... she shuts those guys down pretty fast when they try that, so maybe I need something more creative? :D She's more of a sweetheart; she isn't interested in showboating. : )
I don't have her number, so I'll definitely hit her up on Facebook. It's just a question of how. 🙄

the meltdown begins!!

kiss me said:
God, for crying out loud, is he an insecure mess or 🤦
Look honey, maybe stay away from her. You're still too young for this:face:

His "strategy" ( watch the spelling 😲) is to ask a girl he likes for coffee—shallow!!! :lo l:
Seriously, what else would you invite them to? Deep-sea diving? :lol ::lo l:

says:
Wow, rude. I was talking about the approach, not whether it's coffee or scuba diving. 🙄

says:
Like I said. The guy is way too immature for a 26-year-old woman. And then they have the nerve to laugh at me when I point it out, especially when his own actions prove him wrong. He claims he's "responsible and mature despite being young"—as if you can wrap garbage in fancy cellophane and expect it not to smell. : lol:

Yeah, if he actually had any brains or a shred of seriousness, he wouldn't be opening threads like this on a forum. He’d be out grabbing coffee with her right now.

kiss me said:
I'm not being rude, you're just getting on my nerves... why are you bothering me on a Sunday afternoon with this nonsense 😠
What else would you do, ask her out for coffee in some "extra" way? :not knowing:
Should I recite a Shakespearean sonnet to her? :lo l:

Are you chatting with her on Facebook? Then near the end of the conversation, just write—we should grab coffee tomorrow if you're down... and that's it. :facepalm :

So at 25, you need to draft a formal manifesto just to ask someone for coffee? 🙄:lol ::lol :

N/A said:
Maybe tell him to stop thinking with his ass like he's doing here. I've noticed only guys who can't get laid open threads here looking for a recipe for their sex lives and relationships. : )

N/A said:
Overreacting?
She's 24, she doesn't claim to be some philosopher, and she isn't overthinking fifty different ways to ask someone for coffee. It's Sunday. Why are you sitting at home on a forum? You're overcomplicating things. That's what you're doing.
Why aren't you having coffee with her right now? It's Sunday, the weather is great, there's sun, hot coffee, and pastries—that's it. Or are you afraid you won't have anything to talk about? You've turned a simple invitation into a massive philosophy project. Maturity? Responsibility? All I see in your posts is a kid who just wants to hook up and nothing more. A man who actually likes a girl would just invite her for coffee, lunch, or pizza and spend his Sunday in good company. Instead, you're here spinning endless webs of bullshit over a damn cup of coffee.

Write yourself a cheat sheet before your date so you don't forget how to speak. 🤣

What a freak, my god. : rofl:

toorkish said:
🤦

I'm sick of these metrosexual types and all those sensitive, soft guys. There are so many of you that even I'm seeing too many women running away from you in search of an old-school man.

I'm totally over these kinds of threads..

toorkish said:
Then come over here and let me show you what I've got. I'm older, and I'm damn good in bed. : clint:

This thread is already dead.

reddriver35 said:
Fanboy. Ahem... Does the age gap bother you? : o

kiss me said:
You can tell he's whining because I'm being blunt with him, and I don't even know him. :lo l:

To the OP: if you want people patting you on the back and feeling sorry for you, go buy someone a coffee on Facebook.

And where are the moderators?

By the way, just so nobody thinks they're hunting witches, N/A isn't the only moderator on this forum.

example topic

The author reached out to me privately. I sent him a DM because honestly, it felt wrong seeing everyone mock him. Private messages stay private—I’m not posting his name here. But he could have just said all this on the forum if people hadn't chased him off. 😢

This is just one example. It happens more often than you'd think. 🙂

Edit: Like I said, I messaged him because the treatment wasn't fair. And guess what? He actually reached back with some good news. 🙂

My point is this: he should be able to talk about this openly on the forum. There are plenty of users here who would actually understand and offer solid advice. Instead, the thread died because of poor moderation. The guy still has questions. Still has doubts. We aren't all clones. Not everyone is walking around with Chuck Norris levels of 😁 confidence. That shouldn't be a reason to treat anyone like this. 🙂

placidfalcon4 said:
🍿

I just want to give a quick shout-out to the mods on my feed—specifically the "Sports" crew. They do a killer job protecting us actual contributors from the endless swarm of trolls.😁

Man, there are all kinds of mods out there. (Looking at you, Lyla.)🤣

Not on my watch! I started this thread with one goal in mind: making sure it actually serves a purpose.

There’s really no need to tear others down.

Got a specific example of that moderator's behavior? Lay it on me.

Don't come over here acting like a know-it-all just to start a fight. What's your goal? To stir the pot?

Look, I’m not here to start a fight. I just want a solution. Is that too much to ask? 🙂

Is there any point in discussing the housing fund? 😁

P.S. A little praise is fine, but there's no need to go overboard with the brown-nosing. 😬

hollowtrucker77 said:
princess, you gave us your opinion, but where's the proof? Or a single concrete example?
we came here to talk about mods, but all we learned was about you.
🙂

Oh, definitely. There's a thread on an American forum that actually inspired me to start this one here. Not sure if I'm allowed to drop a link, though. It's public. 🤷

My point is this: moderators delete comments instead of actually stopping the toxic vibes from taking over a thread.

So the discussion dies. People just end up trolling each other. It basically encourages spamming. And somehow, I'm the only one getting penalized. 😢 Honestly, I think I overexplained myself because I’m worried nobody takes me seriously. 😢 That's why it ended up being more about me than the actual issue. 🙂

Can I post the link? 🙂

Most moderators on this forum aren't actually doing their jobs. This isn't about being toxic or starting drama. I just want to point out the flaws in how things are moderated—and how they aren't.

In my view, being a moderator shouldn't just be about handing out bans and deleting threads. It shouldn't be about picking on the smaller users 😬. Unfortunately, that seems to be the only thing happening here. Sometimes it feels more like a competitive sport than actual oversight. 😁

I get it; this is a massive site, and dealing with relentless trolls can be exhausting.

But we aren't all trolls. There are people coming here with genuine issues looking for advice. And what do they get? Chaos and rudeness from certain users. Meanwhile, the moderators don't seem to care about the author, their problem, or the mob that descends on them. They either can't or won't grasp the context of a thread. So, the group runs wild, the discussion falls apart, and the user leaves feeling completely let down. 😢

I know the mods will probably jump in and label me a spammer. They'll brand me and act like I have no right to an opinion. I disagree. I have a right to speak. I admit my mistakes, and I’m trying to cut back on the spam. But let's be honest: some moderators mess up too. Even if they often look the other way when I break rules that should earn me a ban. It's happened several times. And who could I even complain to? I'm just the damn barking spammer, according to a nickname one moderator gave me. 😢 Ironically, he claims to enjoy my spamming because I'm "spunky and cute."😕 He couldn't care less, as long as he isn't the one getting banned.

But I'm more than just a spammer.

I actually understand people. Lately, users have been hitting me up via private message—not to chat, but to ask about threads that were deleted. I give them advice and support. They feel safe talking to me in my DMs. That’s how they should feel on the forum, too. But they don't. Because the moderators just hand out punishments while the unruly crowd runs rampant. 😢

A moderator should know how to step into a conversation and help the author guide the discussion. We have a few who do that, but it's not enough. More of them should act that way. A truly good moderator is like a fairy over at Psychology.

My issue is that I feel bad for the people who have been swept away by the broom and kicked off the site. My other problem is that I can't keep up with all the private messages anymore. 😢I'm buried.😢
Plus, my inbox capacity is tiny—only 75 messages.

I'm not asking for a bigger inbox; I'm trying to constructively point out that moderators need to do their jobs properly.

Because whatever I am doing in private messages is exactly what should be happening right here on the forum, where more people can participate in the discussion. Civilizedly!!

Jerry Cooper3 said:I can't find any small (but good) avatars anywhere!

There are plenty of avatar sites online.

But if you don't want their pre-made ones, just grab an image from the web or upload your own. Then you just have to resize it to fit this forum's limits. There are plenty of tools for that. I used this one.

Basically, I found some pictures of Leia online, ran them through the program, and picked the perfect one for my avatar. 🙂

Why does an avatar matter? Take me, for example. Not everyone has seen Star Wars, and certainly not everyone loves it. Meanwhile, this forum is crawling with princesses. 🤣

So, with my collection of guns, I actually stand out a bit. 😬

Besides, I am a damned spamming liar—but that’s a different story. I'm working on it.

silvertiger10 said:Not always! 😠

Avatars don't change the subject./

It’s definitely easier when users actually have an avatar. 🙂

hollowtrucker77 suddenly you're a ladies' man. 😬 :mežeiueurima: ☕

With so many silvertiger10s, Stipe23s, and Zg-ovacs out there, you just lose track of who's who. 😢

That's why an avatar helps.

hollowtrucker77 said:Can we consider this thread officially dead now?

Hardly. You don't even have an avatar, and you aren't anywhere near as unique as Uncle Byron. 🙂

And that username? Total snooze fest. NHF😳

Kyle King4 said:Signature, plus a question: why hasn't this thread been locked like it would be for any other random Reddit user?
Is she trying to become some kind of forum legend now? A rebel against the mods? Does she want her own custom emoji or a monument built in her honor? Is this thread just gonna turn into a private chat room for the moderators?

Shameful. It's the truth. There were mods on this thread insisting that the action wasn't even punishable because it wasn't explicitly in the rules. Where are those self-proclaimed experts now? They're busy spamming this exact same thread.

👍

The thread basically already is a moderator group chat. Honestly, let them be. They're boring anyway, and their only way to feel important is having a black username.(Shout out to the exceptions—there are a few, at least.) 🙂

Kyle King4 said:Signature, plus a question: why hasn't this thread been locked like it would be for any other random Reddit user?
Is she trying to become some kind of forum legend now? A rebel against the mods? Does she want her own custom emoji or a monument built in her honor? Is this thread just gonna turn into a private chat room for the moderators?

Shameful. It's the truth. There were mods on this thread insisting that the action wasn't even punishable because it wasn't explicitly in the rules. Where are those self-proclaimed experts now? They're busy spamming this exact same thread.

👍

None of those "heroes" actually showed up.

Kyle King4, if they actually had a sense of integrity, they wouldn't have been picked as moderators in the first place. 🙂

Tyler Bishop56 so when are you finally gonna marry me? 😍

😬

Nicholas Collins68 said:Is being offensive in private messages actually allowed here? ☕

I’m not trying to start anything, I genuinely want to know if PMs fall under the site rules...?? 🙂

I don't think so. But that's why you have the ignore button and the option to disable PMs altogether.

The only ones who can message you are the mods. Pretty sure you can't block them.

As for hollowtrucker77, I don't think that's okay. But hey, unfortunately, that's just how some moderators act. Hopefully, nobody took it personally.

Honestly, the mods on this American site don't really moderate properly.

NHF😍