Women with masculine physical traits

Hey there, my new fellow forum members. I’m not sure if you’ve stumbled upon this thread before, but this is just my everyday reality—it's a bit heavy, I know—and I really wanted to introduce myself and see what you all have to say about it.
Basically, both of my sisters and I inherited a genetic condition called hirsutism. I figured most of you might not be super familiar with it, so here’s the quick rundown: it’s an excess of male hormones like androgens and testosterone in the female body, which causes physical changes like excessive hair growth and a more masculine body shape.
Thank God that even though my sisters are only a year or two younger than me, they don't deal with it nearly as intensely as I do—and I honestly pray they never have to... It’s hard, though. I find myself feeling self-conscious, sad, and frustrated quite often because it's something I have to face every single day. 😢 😢 My face is covered in dark hair, except for my forehead, nose, and the area right under my eyes. Of course, I stay on top of it constantly—plucking or whatever as soon as things start peeking through—but that ends up being pretty rough on my skin.
I haven't really gone out into direct sunlight for years now, because that's when everything becomes way too noticeable. The hair is also really prominent on my stomach, a bit less on my chest, and much heavier in my intimate areas. Sure, you can manage some of it, but you can never truly get rid of it all, and the results never last long... Plus, I have a bit of a protruding stomach due to some ovarian issues that cause bloating. People tell me I'm actually very pretty—I've got long black hair and big blue eyes, and I'm fairly tall and average weight, just like any other girl—but I won't go to the beach or wear short sleeves unless I've just done a bleaching treatment on my arms (which takes a week anyway), and I won't wear shorts or tie my hair up in the sun... 🤦 I've been seeing my boyfriend for six months now and he hasn't noticed a thing, just like everyone else besides my family. Sometimes, I feel like a total monster... 🤦
I'm curious to know what you guys think. How would you react if you were dating a girl dealing with these kinds of issues? Thanks so much in advance...

🙂 You’re being incredibly thorough if you think anyone actually notices those details. 🙂

Is there really no possibility of a cure?

I guess I just have to be—it’s always weighing on me, this constant fear that if someone doesn't quite get what's going on with me, they'll just... walk away. There isn't a cure, you know? It's just a genetic anomaly I was born with. I could take birth control to try and stack on some female hormones, but honestly, the excess testosterone I've already got would probably just win the fight anyway 😢

I honestly think some laser hair removal would solve all your problems... I mean, permanent hair removal, just a few sessions for your legs, arms, face, and bikini area, and you'd be set. You're looking at roughly $1333 for the legs alone... I know that sounds like a massive amount of cash, but honey, it's a small price to pay for peace of mind. As for the rest of how you describe yourself, you don't sound like an eyesore—well, except for the hair situation, but thank God that’s easily fixed these days without any drama... good luck...
p.s. And let's just say having a high libido isn't exactly a bad thing (at least for your boyfriend)😁

So, I’ve been chewing on the whole idea of getting a laser, Lisa Allen19, but let’s be real—you need a massive pile of cash for something like that. And since I’m out here footing the entire bill for my tuition and my apartment by myself, things are looking pretty tight right now... It feels kind of gross, doesn't it? Like, isn't it just plain unfair? I mean, you wouldn't judge someone for being in this position, would you?

Hey girl... when I first started reading this post, I honestly had no idea what we were even talking about...
I know this feels heavy and like it's weighing you down every single day... But is it really that big of a deal? Don't hate me, but I don't think it is... I mean, your boyfriend hasn't even noticed, so why are you stressing yourself out this much???
Nick isn't perfect—none of us are—and we all look great to some people and not to others...
Why don't you just head to a decent beauty salon in town... honestly, that would probably solve everything for you... 🤷

rowdyheron80 said:I feel like I have to be, you know? I’m always worried someone won’t get me and will just toss me aside... there's no cure, it's just this genetic thing I was born with. I could take birth control to add female hormones, but the extra testosterone I've already got is just going to kill them off anyway. 😢

Look, you’ve gotta find some self-confidence. If someone claims to love you and then dumps you over body hair or stuff like that... honestly, they never really loved you to begin with. Those things you call "flaws"? They’re actually an advantage over other girls. You’ll spot real love way easier than those girls who look all perfect and artificial. Just focus on taking care of yourself first; don't go chasing after love. It kind of surprises me—you just joined the forum and you're already being this open. It feels like you're lacking confidence, so you're being extra cautious, but I wouldn't lead with your medical stuff right away just to avoid getting hurt for no reason. Just realize that true love is rare, and whether you're hairy or not doesn't change that. Sending you nothing but good vibes!

Look, I totally get where you're coming from, but honestly, this stuff hits us hard—those of us actually living through it. I see how you're looking at it, but just imagine skipping out on a beach trip for years because you can't even squeeze into a bikini, or having to deal with a massive breakout and waiting a full week just for your skin to stop being raw. It’s easy to brush it off and say it isn't a huge deal, but for people like us—if there are even many of us left—it really is. My boyfriend hasn't even realized the extent of it yet, mostly because we tend to do things my way—so, I’ve never been fully "bikini ready" around him, and we’ve never just laid out in the direct sun or anything like that... I'm honestly terrified he'll eventually notice and have a bad reaction to it. 😢

Thanks so much, John Newman94... you're absolutely right, and I know that deep down—but man, you’ve gotta understand, there's just this massive, underlying fear of everything that might be headed our way.

rowdyheron80 said:Well, I’ve given some thought to getting a laser, Lisa Allen19, but let’s be realistic—you need a massive bankroll to make that happen. Since I’m currently footing the bill for my own tuition and rent, things are a bit tight right now... Don't you think it's a bit harsh? It feels ugly and judgmental; wouldn't any decent person hesitate to criticize someone over something like that?

Don't worry about it; nobody is judging you, not even us.😉

Thanks, Lisa Allen19 🙂 :*

rowdyheron80 said:Thanks so much, John Newman94... you're totally right, I get it... but man, you gotta understand, there's just this massive knot of fear in my gut about all of this stuff that might be coming down the pipe.

Don't even sweat the thanks. Honestly, hardly anyone actually makes it to that point where they stop being terrified. Look at it this way: instead of spiraling about whether some guy is gonna dump you because of a little body hair, start asking yourself if the guy you're with actually gives a damn about you. If you're sitting there doubting his love, honestly? Just push him away before he gets the chance to wreck you. It's about looking out for Number One. We've all got fears—everyone does—it's just a matter of who's running the show, the fear or you. And hey, lighten up a bit! Let some sunshine in!👍

😁 maybe one day I’ll find myself looking at things that way too—I guess I just need a little more time to pass before I'm ready to fully step out into the light and let the sun in 🙂 it’s actually really nice to hear that people aren't so quick to judge those who are different.

Just wanted to say—I'm definitely not alone here. So many women deal with this, especially Black women... A ton of my girlfriends have asked basically the same thing, but honestly? You just do whatever you can to fix it and work on your self-confidence...

How is it possible that your boyfriend doesn't know? Or maybe he does and he just doesn't care. Don't take this as an insult, I'm just trying to be straight with you. Besides, you're anonymous anyway.

@tulipancica: No, plenty of girls don't deal with this. There's a big difference between just having darker hair and actually dealing with hirsutism.

Seriously? I’ve always just assumed this wasn't really a widespread thing among women... I mean, I basically used my own experience as the benchmark, mostly because I’ve never actually run into anyone else dealing with it.

Oh, I don't think so—honestly, I'm pretty certain he never caught on to a single thing. I made sure of that every step of the way...

Believe me, they're out there... it's just ego or whatever else gets in the way... Not many people actually speak with this much honesty these days... 😉

rowdyheron80 🙂

I know things feel heavy right now, but you might find some peace if you just opened up to your boyfriend. You could be surprised by how naturally he accepts it, without any judgment at all. 🙂 None of us are perfect; we all carry our own little quirks or struggles, some bigger than others. From what I can see, you’re managing your condition well, but you're putting a much heavier mental burden on yourself than you actually need to. 😘

rowdyheron80 said:😁 maybe I'll take that approach one day too. maybe it just takes more time passing before I can fully let my guard down and embrace everything. 🙂 It’s actually pretty refreshing to hear that people aren't just jumping to conclusions about those who are different.

Come on, get real here. You aren't "different" from everyone else. It’s a bit awkward to say, especially since I don't want to offend the ladies on this forum, but they all admit it to themselves even if they won't say it to us two—every woman has her flaws, more or less, sometimes even hidden ones. And honestly? You shouldn't trust people, especially us guys.