Women with masculine physical traits

shadowhound8 said:Between the six-month timeline and what you shared about your own experience—plus the fact that you mentioned having some hair issues on your face (or at least that's how I took it)—there’s just no way he didn't notice something.

I don't know, I really don't... 😲 maybe you're right, but couldn't he have just brought something up or asked a question, you know? Just being a guy?

Look, you’re dealing with something you didn't choose. You didn't cause this, so there is absolutely zero reason to carry any guilt about it... please, try not to let it get to you too much. Honestly? Anyone who judges you or pushes you away because of a genetic condition isn't someone you’d want to build a life or a family with anyway. And if I can be a bit controversial here—forgive me—but maybe just forgive him for his poor judgment. Humans are biologically hardwired to seek out healthy partners for reproduction, and we subconsciously shy away from anyone who seems "unfit," even though our modern ideas of ethics and morality came along much, much later in the timeline.

Think of it this way: you have a built-in filter to weed out the fools. Plus, compared to some of the truly devastating illnesses people face, your situation isn't so catastrophic that you can't find a silver lining... I promise. There are likely treatments out there that could help minimize or ease what you're experiencing visibly.

I just skimmed through the replies and noticed you've been pretty hesitant about seeking medical advice. But look, you wouldn't go to a manicurist to fix a broken engine, right? Medical issues need to be handled by specialists—by actual doctors. If your first experience wasn't great, don't give up on medicine entirely. Just find a different doctor. Don't lose faith in the profession; they are there to help make your life easier. Good luck!

rowdyheron80 said:Don't lecture me, I know what I'm doing. About a year ago, I was dealing with this through my OB-GYN, but once I switched over to Yasmin, I just gave up on it. I haven't consulted a doctor about any kind of medication for a full year now; I've just been managing everything on my own as best I can.🤷

Fine, then it is clearly time to see an endocrinologist. There are several non-oral contraceptive options available that effectively suppress androgen activity, so I strongly advise seeking a specialist's opinion.

rustyheron13 said:Look, you’re dealing with a situation that isn’t your fault—at all. You don't owe anyone an apology for something you didn't cause, so try not to let it get under your skin too much. Honestly? Anyone who judges you or pushes you away because of a genetic condition isn't someone you'd want to build a life or a family with anyway. If I can be a bit controversial here—forgive me—but maybe just forgive them for their reaction. Humans are basically hardwired by evolution to seek out healthy partners for reproduction, and we subconsciously recoil from anything that signals otherwise. Ethics and morality are great, sure, but they were added to the human playbook way after those primal instincts took hold.

Think of it this way: you actually have a built-in filter to weed out the idiots. And compared to some of the truly devastating illnesses people face, what you're going through isn't so catastrophic that you can't find a silver lining somewhere. Plus, there are probably treatments out there that could help tone down the visible symptoms.

I was skimming through the replies quickly and noticed you mentioned you've been avoiding doctors altogether. Well, it’s kind of like trying to fix a transmission at a nail salon—you wouldn't do it, right? Medical issues need to be handled by professionals in their own field. If your first experience with a doctor was a dud, go find a better one. Don't give up on medicine entirely; its whole purpose is to make life easier for you. Hang in there!

Thanks, rustyheron13. What you said about humans being evolutionarily programmed to instinctively shy away from things they perceive as "unfit"—I think there's a lot of truth to that. It's going to take me some time to work up the nerve to dive back into medical solutions, though. I've been burned before, and back then, the symptoms weren't nearly as pronounced as they are now. But I'll get there... and I definitely agree with you that this isn't as tragic as some of the heavier stuff people deal with. Maybe I'm just being shallow by feeling like my situation is the worst, but it's hard not to feel that way sometimes.

nimblemaker52 said:Alright, look—it might be time to go see an endocrinologist. There are plenty of options out there besides just standard birth control that can help manage androgen levels, so I’d definitely suggest getting a specialist's opinion on this.

Can I actually see an endocrinologist with just a referral from my primary care doctor?

Switching gears to health stuff. btw don't sweat it, you look great.

rowdyheron80 said:I don't know, I really don't. 😲 Maybe he did, but isn't it normal for any guy to just say something or ask a question...?

Look, maybe I'm not like every other guy out there, but I definitely wouldn't say anything proactively.
When you're already head over heels, the male brain basically goes into denial; it sees the red flags but chooses to ignore them because the feelings are too strong.
Try to move past this. If you can't—and if all those people have already told you that you can't—then stop spinning your wheels and go find a professional therapist who actually knows what they're doing.

shadowhound8 said:Look, maybe I’m just wired differently than the average guy, but I definitely wouldn't be the type to just blurt things out on my own initiative.
When you're already head over heels—or even just deeply in love—with someone, your brain kind of goes into this weird defensive mode. It sees the truth right in front of its face, but it just refuses to acknowledge it. It’s like a mental blind spot; you just ignore the red flags because you're too busy loving the person behind them.
If you're struggling to move past that, try to push through it. And if you really can't—like, if you've already heard it from a bunch of people and you're stuck—don't feel bad about seeking out some actual professional help at a proper clinic.

So... basically what you're saying is he can see everything happening, but his brain just chooses to look the other way?

wiredfalcon2 said:switching gears over to health stuff. anyway, don't sweat it—you look great.

👋 thanks for both, really.

rowdyheron80 said:So... as far as he's concerned, he can see it all right in front of him—but essentially remain blind to it?

Sure, love is great and all😍 even if it occasionally screws you over big time.

rowdyheron80 said:Can I see an endocrinologist if I have a referral from my primary care doctor?

Of course you can.

God, I hate hypocrisy.🙄
I’d love to see those people who act like being hit by a bus is some minor inconvenience—if they actually had to deal with the fallout themselves—how they'd react.☕

To the author: maybe try being a little more persistent with the recovery efforts. 🙂

rustyheron13 said:It’s not exactly a death sentence, but it's certainly not stage four cancer, HIV, or some incurable autoimmune disease either. If you really want a horror movie, try walking through an oncology ward. I worked at one for a while, believe me—some people are carrying burdens that would break anyone.

A huge chunk of people deal with health issues, whether minor or major, but you can't just label yourself by your condition. You have to work on fixing what you can and try to accept the rest so you can actually live a normal life.

Is it easy? Hell no. In this world, the easiest thing to be is young, healthy, rich, and beautiful.

Yeah, except the thing is, even if this won't kill you, it carries a massive social stigma. Just look at the tabloids; they'll run a photo of some celebrity on a beach in Malibu, show three stray hairs catching the sunlight on her leg, and headline it with "Star Zvjezdić forgets to wax!" Or some columnist writes that she didn't go for a Brazilian, and suddenly everyone is talking about her lack of "hygiene." Seriously, if having hair down there is unhygienic, then what does that make a hairy face, stomach, or back?

The beauty industry makes billions off waxing, shaving, bleaching, and laser removal... if this wasn't such a massive issue like some people act it is, they wouldn't have a dime.

To the author: do some digging or Google the cream Vaniqa.

copperrider20 said:True, though while it’s not life-threatening, there is definitely a massive social stigma attached to it.

Unfortunately, you hit the nail on the head. Most visible conditions—things like acne or psoriasis—carry this heavy social weight. It really takes a toll on your mental health... people end up feeling isolated, almost cast out from society like they're untouchable.

I wasn't suggesting it's easy. I just meant it isn't fatal, and if someone puts in the work to find help—using the right medical or cosmetic treatments under a doctor's supervision—they can lead a pretty normal life.

On the other hand, what might be even more critical is the root cause. That spike in androgen levels could be genetic, or it could stem from an underlying disorder or illness. Now, I don't think this forum is the place to pry into the OP's private medical history or demand her records; we aren't doctors, after all. We shouldn't be handing out medical advice here. But, I don't know if she's seen an endocrinologist yet... if she hasn't, I honestly, and with the best intentions, would suggest she finds a solid specialist and gets a full workup. I'm not exactly the first person to run to the doctor myself, but you have to look after your health... you only get one shot at this life.

I’ve always dealt with excess hair. It’s pretty much everywhere on me, except for my eyelids and behind my ears. My hormones were fine for a while, but after I started taking birth control and then stopped about six months ago, the hair on my face and other parts of my body became impossible to ignore. Honestly, I don't think it's a hormonal imbalance because my cycle has been perfectly regular, so this is just how I am built. I've been in a relationship for over a year now, and I’ve never actually sat him down to say, "Hey, I had to shave my face today," but he definitely notices. I mean, let's be real—who wouldn't? He’s looking at me from inches away; I can't exactly gaslight myself into thinking it's invisible. Even when I look at my friend, who also deals with more hair than average, I notice it on her face, and I’m not staring at her from fifteen centimeters away like my boyfriend does. Lately, I find myself constantly searching for others who struggle with the same thing. My self-esteem has taken a massive hit, which has naturally spilled over into my relationship, even though he tells me every single day that I'm getting more beautiful. For now, I handle my legs with a razor and everything else with an epilator. Permanent removal just isn't in the budget right now, so I'm planning to try some Bioxet cream for my face to see if it actually works. Until I can get rid of it for good, all I can really do is try to accept myself as I am.
Hang in there.😉

Susan Wilson56 said:I’m super hairy too—honestly, hair everywhere except my eyelids and behind my ears. My hormones were fine about 9 months ago, but then I started on birth control, and after I stopped (for 6 months), the facial hair became really obvious, along with other spots on my body. I don't think it's a hormone thing because my period has been perfectly regular, so I guess I'm just built this way. I've been in a relationship for over a year now, and I never actually told my boyfriend, "Hey, just so you know, I plucked my face today," but he definitely notices. I mean, honestly, who wouldn't?! He’s looking at me from like 6 inches away—I can't lie to myself and pretend it isn't visible. Even when I look at my friend who's also hairy, I notice it on her face, and I'm not getting in her personal space like he does with me. Truth is, I find myself checking more often lately to see if anyone else deals with this. My confidence took a huge hit, which obviously affected my relationship, but he tells me I look hotter and prettier every single day. I deal with legs using a razor and everything else with an epilator. I don't have the cash for permanent solutions right now, so for the face, I'm planning to try some Bioxet cream and see if it helps. Until I can get rid of them for good, I just have to accept myself as I am.
hang in there😉

Wait, you're saying that was caused by the pills?! And now it's just... permanent?!😲😲
Isn't increased hair growth usually treated *with* hormones?😕

Susan Wilson56 said:I’m also super hairy—honestly, I’ve got hair everywhere except my eyelids and behind my ears. My hormones were totally fine about nine months ago, but then I started on birth control, and once I stopped (about six months back), I really started noticing facial hair, plus it's popping up in other spots too. I don't think it's a hormone issue though, because my period has been clockwork since day one, so maybe I just am what I am. I've been in a relationship for over a year now, and I’ve never actually sat my boyfriend down and said, "Hey, just so you know, I plucked my face today," but he definitely notices. I mean, honestly, who wouldn't? He’s looking at me from like six inches away—I can't exactly pretend it isn't visible. Even when I look at my friend, who deals with the same thing, I notice the hair on her face, and I'm not even getting in her personal space like my guy does. Truthfully, lately I find myself constantly scanning everyone else to see if they have hair like mine. My self-esteem has taken a massive hit, which has definitely bled into my relationship, but he always tells me I look prettier and more beautiful every single day. For now, I deal with my legs using a razor and everything else with an epilator. Permanent solutions are just way out of my budget right now, so for my face, I’m planning to try some Bioxet cream and see if it actually works. Until I can get rid of them for good, I guess there's nothing left to do but just accept myself as I am.
hang in there😉

🙂
I took birth control to help regulate my cycle, and while that worked perfectly, the hair situation didn't change one bit. And I totally relate to that habit of checking other girls—I feel like I haven't met a single person without subconsciously inspecting them from every angle to see their facial hair😲 too. I'm also stuck using an epilator as a temporary fix. Pleaseee let me know how that Bioxet cream works if you end up trying it👍

There are quite a few women out there dealing with increased hair growth. Even if it isn't technically hirsutism, if the end result is the same amount of unwanted hair, the struggle is identical. Much like Susan Wilson56, my own issues with body hair kicked in right after I stopped taking birth control due to PCOS. Since I wasn't allowed to take hormonal contraceptives anyway because of some blood clotting issues—and frankly, I didn't want to—my options were pretty limited.
By shifting my diet and trying various herbal supplements, I managed to get most of my other PCOS symptoms under control, but the hair growth just wouldn't budge. I wouldn't say I'm a monster, but I definitely notice it. The hairs that used to be light and fine have darkened, and a few new ones have popped up too. I’ve tried plucking, bleaching, and using various creams to slow down the growth, and now I'm looking into more permanent solutions...
rowdyheron80—I completely get you. When this first started happening to me, I felt like my world was ending. I have very fair skin, so every single hair is visible—literally. I became obsessed with watching other women and constantly comparing myself to them. To this day, I still find myself scanning other women to see who else is dealing with hair or plucking their upper lip. It honestly makes me feel a little less alone when I realize we aren't the only ones.🙂
That said, I try to maintain a positive outlook; there are a billion worse things that can happen in life. Exercise, spend time outdoors, do what you love, eat well, and make sure to visit an endocrinologist and a good esthetician. If you do that, life gets a lot easier!
Sending you a huge kiss and lots of support!😘

I definitely had more hair before I started the pill, but I don't think it was ever this much. It used to be just on my stomach, a little around my nipples, and on my thighs, but now it's everywhere. You can't really see it at a glance, but I notice it constantly because it pricks me when I look down.🙂The hairs are light, and if you run your hand over them, they feel like you're touching a plush toy.😁Honestly, I only started taking birth control because I was terrified of getting pregnant, not because of any issues with my ovaries—they were never the problem. I have zero intention of going back on them now (thank god my boyfriend practically forced me to quit, since I was dealing with two weeks of spotting and some pretty nasty discharge that really freaked him out). I’m just praying these fine hairs don't thicken up; if I ever did stop the pill, I'd be right back where I started, or facing an even bigger mess.
Sarah Rodriguez68, what kind of creams are you using to slow down the growth? I was thinking about trying Bioxet, but I'm not great with foreign language websites, so I can't really dig into bad reviews to see what I might be getting into. Since I deal with neurodermatitis, I really can't afford to gamble with my skin.
It's such a relief when you realize you aren't the only one dealing with excess hair, even if it's just reading posts from random people online.😉

Susan Wilson56 said:What a massive relief it is when you finally realize you aren't the only one dealing with this. Even if it’s just seeing other people posting anonymously about it, knowing you aren't alone in that struggle makes such a difference.😉

🙏 I couldn't agree more.

I’ve picked up this little clear bottle called Epilhair Pro. As for whether it actually works... I honestly can't say for sure yet. It’s hard to tell; there are just certain days when I feel like I might be seeing a difference, but it's all very subjective at this point. 🤷
Only time will tell.
I’ve been weighing my options lately regarding hair removal, and I’m feeling a bit stuck. Laser treatments aren't really an option for me because my hair is just too light; it simply won't take the treatment effectively. On top of that, I have absolutely no desire to go back to the constant cycle of shaving, which feels like such a chore. That leaves me looking at electrolysis as the only truly permanent solution left on the table. I've been doing a lot of thinking about it lately—it's quite a commitment, but I'm trying to decide if it's worth the investment.