Women with masculine physical traits

rowdyheron80 · 2010-05-23T21:54:23+00:00

Hey there, my new fellow forum members. I’m not sure if you’ve stumbled upon this thread before, but this is just my everyday reality—it's a bit heavy, I know—…

rowdyheron80 NewcomerOP

1 message
joined Oct 2010

#81 · May 24, 2010

Sarah Rodriguez68 said:There are plenty of girls dealing with extra hair growth. I mean, maybe it’s not clinical hirsutism, but if the result is the same—excessive hair—then we're in the same boat. Much like girl-number-8 mentioned, my own issues started right after I stopped taking birth control because of PCOS. Since I couldn't take the pill anyway due to some blood clotting issues (and honestly, I didn't want to), I was pretty much left to deal with it on my own.
I managed to sort out the other PCOS symptoms through diet changes and various herbal supplements, but the hair? That stayed. I wouldn't call myself a monster, but I definitely see them. The ones that used to be light have darkened, and new ones keep popping up. I’m plucking, bleaching, using creams to slow down the growth, and currently hunting for a more permanent solution...
rowdyheron80—I totally get you. When this first started happening to me, I thought the world was ending. I have really fair skin, so every single hair stands out—literally. I became obsessed with watching other women and constantly comparing myself to them. Even now, I find myself looking at others to see who has hair or who’s plucking their upper lip and stuff... It actually makes things a little easier knowing we aren't alone in this.🙂
But I'm trying to stay positive; there are a billion worse things that could happen in life... just exercise, spend time outdoors or doing whatever you love, eat healthy, and find a good endocrinologist and a solid esthetician, and life will be a lot easier!
Sending you a huge kiss and lots of support!😘

Same here. I’m super pale, so I guess that’s why I feel like everything is so visible... and regardless, it helps to see—even if it's just anonymously here—that there are others out there. I've never actually met anyone in person, but thanks for the advice. I'll try my best to shift my mindset over time and start tackling these things head-on. 🙂 🙂

Ronald Chase2 Member

13 messages
joined Mar 2010

#82 · May 25, 2010

First off, hi 🙂
I know someone dealing with a similar issue who avoids the sun just like you do. I get it. It’s tough, and I believe you when you say how much this weighs on you 😢 BUT, I’m going to echo what others have said... if your boyfriend hasn't noticed anything after six months, it clearly isn't as severe as you think. The fact that you've managed to handle it without him noticing is honestly impressive 🙂 On the other hand, here's my take: after six months together, you both deserve to know about 99% of each other. Everyone has secrets they keep close, sure, but if you shared what you struggle with every day, I'm certain he would understand and wouldn't see it as "ugly" at all 🙂 Everyone has their battles. Some people deal with skin issues that tank their confidence, too. When things eventually turn intimate, try just opening up to him. At the very least, you'll feel so much more relaxed spending time with him. If he's a good guy, he'll understand and support you 🙂 You won't have to make excuses for why you can't go to the pool or skip certain activities when he asks. I can see you're independent—living on your own, handling college, managing your own finances—so I have no doubt your boyfriend is just as thoughtful and smart. Give it a shot; it will make your life so much easier 😉 😉
Moving on... laser hair removal sounds like the perfect fix, but aside from being outrageously expensive, I can tell you it's incredibly painful. A friend's sister told me she went twice for facial hair (it usually takes 5-7 sessions) and had to quit because she couldn't take it anymore. She’s a tough person who can handle more than most, but she said it was brutal. Honestly, maybe stick to waxing or some bleaching methods to reduce visibility for now, and try not to overthink it. If we actually looked closely at everyone around us, we'd find someone with a similar insecurity. You know what I mean. Also, personally? It's weirder to me when I see a woman all dressed up with makeup and great clothes, but her hair is greasy or her feet look neglected :S So please, try to be easy on yourself. You'll feel better 🙂

rowdyheron80 NewcomerOP

1 message
joined Oct 2010

#83 · May 25, 2010

Thanks so much for taking the time to write out such a massive wall of text—I know it wasn't easy to sit down and hash all that out 😁 Honestly, looking at everything you said at the start, I don't even know where to begin besides saying how glad I am to read your perspective. It’s actually pretty encouraging to hear someone else thinking along these lines; it makes me feel a lot less alone in this whole thing. As for the laser hair removal stuff, thanks for the heads-up there too. You see all these ads and articles everywhere claiming it’s totally painless and basically feels like nothing, but if your friend says otherwise—and she's a pretty tough lady—then I'm betting those companies are just lying through their teeth to sell more sessions. I'm definitely going to be more careful about everything 🙂 🙂

Ronald Chase2 Member

13 messages
joined Mar 2010

#84 · May 25, 2010

rowdyheron80 said:Thanks so much for such a long, thoughtful response. It took me a while to process everything you said. 😁 Honestly, I just wanted to say how much I appreciate your perspective. Hearing someone else think this way is really encouraging. Also, thanks for the heads-up on the laser hair removal. Everywhere you look, they claim it’s totally painless and easy, but if your friend says otherwise—and she's pretty tough—then I'm betting those ads are just lying to sell more services. I'll definitely be careful with everything. 🙂 🙂

No problem at all. 🙂 It didn't take me long to get my thoughts down, and I know they help. 😉
Regarding the laser thing, yeah, the marketing is full of lies. I know pain depends on how strong the hair roots are, but if you're dealing with a specific condition—something that hasn't been diagnosed for me, for example—you'd probably feel it just as much. Laser hair removal isn't like a barcode scanner at a CVS... it's a specialized tool that moves very slowly, and that initial stinging can become unbearable.
I'm glad to hear that hearing from others helps calm you down; that's how it should be. Stand tall, be yourself, and enjoy your time with your boyfriend. Don't sweat the small stuff. 😉

Brenda Ramos2 Newcomer

8 messages
joined Feb 2010

#85 · May 25, 2010

Honestly, I went in for laser hair removal on my face and it was such a breeze, I didn't even feel a thing.

Edward Murphy4 Active Member

121 messages
joined Nov 2010

#86 · May 25, 2010

Look, as a woman who’s into women myself🤣, I can tell you—if I met a girl I actually liked, the last thing on my mind would be checking her hormone levels to see if she was "worthy."
So, if this guy dumps you or decides you're "too hairy" for his specific taste, just know you didn't lose a thing. He clearly wasn't into the real you.☕

rowdyheron80 NewcomerOP

1 message
joined Oct 2010

#87 · May 26, 2010

Brenda Ramos2 said:Honestly, I went in for laser hair removal on my face and barely even felt a thing.

I mean, maybe it just depends on the person!

rowdyheron80 NewcomerOP

1 message
joined Oct 2010

#88 · May 26, 2010

Grace Chase97 said:Look, speaking as someone who loves women,🤣 I can tell you right now—if I met a girl I actually clicked with, the last thing on my mind would be checking her hormone levels to see if she’s "worthy." Like, who even does that?
So, honestly, if this guy leaves because he’s too picky about body hair or whatever weird standard he’s got, just know you didn't lose anything. He wasn't the one.☕

It’s actually really refreshing to hear a different kind of perspective like that—it's a nice bit of feminine wisdom, haha 😉

Zachary Gomez Member

33 messages
joined Sep 2014

#89 · May 26, 2010

Thank God for this epilator; it’s been a lifesaver for my arm hair, which honestly gets out of hand 😲 ...sometimes I joke that my hormones are totally out of whack. I’ll laugh at myself and say some guys should take notes, since they can barely grow anything where it counts while I’ve got plenty right here on my arms. Plus, having fair skin makes it stand out even more, if you know what I mean. We all notice little flaws about ourselves that others don't even see... though I did have a classmate I had a huge crush on call me a werewolf once, which definitely stung at the time... haha. But really, the point is that if we want to change something about our appearance, we should do it for ourselves rather than for anyone else. When you feel comfortable in your own skin, it shows, and people notice that you're happier and more confident. Honestly, I think some guys actually find it attractive... I have this one friend who almost every time he sees me, he'll reach out and touch my arm hair 😁 just like he actually enjoys it, haha.

cosmicwolf27 Member

28 messages
joined Apr 2010

#90 · May 26, 2010

Megan Jones27;26884538 said:Thank God for this epilator, because my arm hair is getting seriously out of control 😲 ..

Yeah. And it's not just the arms—it's the whole damn body.☕ I have a friend, so I know what I'm talking about. She's hairy everywhere. They basically only have sex in the dark now, because you can see all those razor bumps and irritation on her skin. It's a total mess.
Don't even get me started on summer.
She's been trying to fix it for years, but nothing works. Basically, she couldn't handle certain types of medication.
Plus, she's only 23, and the hormone stuff made her gain a ton of weight... and for what? Nothing.
And hey, don't sweat the arm hair. I've got it too. 🤷

Zachary Gomez Member

33 messages
joined Sep 2014

#91 · May 26, 2010

Well, I only mentioned the hair on my arms as an example, since I have more than most guys here. I won't go into detail about the rest of my body.

rowdyheron80 NewcomerOP

1 message
joined Oct 2010

#92 · May 26, 2010

Megan Jones27 said:Well, look, I only mentioned my arm hair as an example—mostly because I seem to have more than most guys I know. As for the rest of my body? Let's just leave it at that.

Yeah, honestly, having those tiny little dark hairs on your arms is one thing, but dealing with it all over your body... that's a whole different level of annoying. At least I hope you don't run into issues with things like epilators—you know, the whole rash or skin irritation situation—or if the hair is just particularly thick and dark. That makes everything way harder.

Carl Ruiz4 Member

23 messages
joined Aug 2008

#93 · May 26, 2010

rowdyheron80 said:I’m curious to hear your thoughts—how would you actually deal with a girl facing these kinds of issues? Thanks in advance to everyone...

Honestly, I’d probably just invite her over for a mutual hair removal session.😍
I handle my back, butt, shoulders, stomach, neck, face, and chest area with depilatory cream, then use an epilator for my legs and arms. Most days everything stays quiet, but then out of nowhere, the rashes start breaking out. It’s almost comical, really. I’m not even overly hairy, just incredibly sensitive to every single method used to get rid of it.
I gave up on going to professional estheticians because a full monthly treatment ends up costing way too much, especially since I need maintenance every ten days... which is more frequent than every two weeks.
Thanks for the input, stranger from Daddy's side of the family.☕
I tried using lightening creams on my back, butt, and stomach, but you can still feel the texture under your fingers. But whatever, I’m used to it by now. You eventually get used to anything, don't you?

Raymond Allen Newcomer

2 messages
joined Nov 2003

#94 · May 26, 2010

rowdyheron80 said:Really? Honestly, I’ve always operated under the assumption that there aren't actually many women dealing with this specific issue... I just based my whole perspective on my own experience, mostly because I’ve never encountered anyone else who felt this way.

Well, if your friends don't even know what you're going through, then you don't really know what they're dealing with either.
It’s a pretty effective way to just eliminate the problem entirely and move on.

rowdyheron80 NewcomerOP

1 message
joined Oct 2010

#95 · May 26, 2010

Emily Lopez said:Honestly, I’d invite her over for a mutual hair removal session 😍
I use depilatory cream for my butt, back, shoulders, stomach, neck, face, and chest—then an epilator for my legs and arms. Most days I’m fine, but then out of nowhere, the rashes start breaking out. It’s honestly tragicomic at this point. I’m either way too hairy or just way too sensitive to pretty much any method you try.
I gave up on going to the salon because getting a full treatment once a month ends up costing me a fortune, and the thing is, I need to deal with it every ten days... which is more frequent than even a bi-weekly appointment.
Thanks, dear long-lost family member ☕
I even tried bleaching the hair on my back, butt, and stomach, but I can still feel it under my fingers. But hey, I guess you get used to everything eventually...

🙏 There are some things you mentioned that I don't even dare touch, and man, the rashes... they absolutely wreck me. Just when I think I'm finally in the clear, everything turns red, itchy, and irritated—it looks terrible. Baby powder helps a bit, but it’s such a pain to constantly be dusting my underwear with it or slathering on creams several times a day. It’s just one big, exhausting headache. 🙄

Benjamin Taylor4 Member

21 messages
joined Sep 2009

#96 · May 27, 2010

I use an epilator on my face, but then I just end up breaking out in bumps. Even though it feels more like I'm just crushing the hair rather than pulling it out, I keep doing it anyway.😠 A few days ago, I had such a bad allergic reaction that the skin on my shoulders started cracking, right when I was planning to tackle them with the device.🙂🙂 Honestly, I don't think it's going to work; even on my bare shoulders, the epilator isn't grabbing anything, despite the hair being there.😕 Maybe the device is jammed or something else went wrong with it?🤷 On the other hand, I used it on one small area of my bikini line a couple of times, and you can already see a massive difference compared to where I just shave. I’m actually pretty proud of that little patch of skin.🙂

rowdyheron80 NewcomerOP

1 message
joined Oct 2010

#97 · May 27, 2010

Susan Wilson56 said:I use an epilator on my face, but then I just end up breaking out in these tiny bumps—and honestly, even though it feels more like I'm just snapping the hairs off rather than pulling them out, I keep doing it anyway despite the breakouts.😠 A few days ago, I had this massive allergic reaction where the skin on my shoulders actually started cracking, right when I was planning on attacking them with the epilator.🙂🙂 I don't think it's going to work, though—the device barely picks up anything from my upper back or near my shoulders, even though there’s definitely hair there.😕 Maybe the epilator is jammed or something? Or maybe it's just acting up?🤷 On the bright side, I used it on one specific spot on my bikini line a couple of times, and you can already see the difference compared to the areas where I just shave everything down—I'm actually kind of proud of that little patch of skin.🙂

You should probably just grab a new one—get one that actually has safety guards and specialized heads for different body parts, don't make life harder than it needs to be.😢
And oh man, seriously... regarding the bikini area—you have truly taken a huge weight off my shoulders. I haven't even dared to discover the "magic" of epilating that area yet.😁 🙂

Benjamin Taylor4 Member

21 messages
joined Sep 2009

#98 · May 27, 2010

And this epilator isn't even that old; I haven't really touched it since my hair started getting out of control🙂 how much would one of those higher-end models actually run me? I get that an epilator is a solid investment, but dropping $333 feels a bit excessive for me.

Carl Ruiz4 Member

23 messages
joined Aug 2008

#99 · May 28, 2010

rowdyheron80 said:🙏 Honestly, there are some things you mentioned that I wouldn't even dream of touching. And don't get me started on the razor burn... just when I think I'm finally in the clear, everything flares up again. It’s infuriating. Redness, itching, irritation—it looks terrible. A little bit of baby powder helps, sure, but having to constantly dump powder in my underwear or slather on creams several times a day? It’s such a massive hassle. 🙄

For me, even the powder doesn't do much; I'm just left with these little sores and scars in all sorts of colors. 🙄 The only thing that doesn't cause a reaction is using a razor, but let's be real—that isn't exactly a smart move, neither for skin health nor for aesthetics.
Most of my advice actually comes from drag queen forums 🙏 (I know, how does that sound? But honestly, if anyone knows how to deal with unwanted hair, it's them.)

Benjamin Taylor4 Member

21 messages
joined Sep 2009

#100 · May 28, 2010

Go ahead and share some advice with us😉

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