Women with masculine physical traits

I’m dealing with the exact same issues... though nobody ever actually gave me a straight answer on what it was precisely. 🤷 Dealing with excessive body hair was a nightmare for years, and honestly, even now, I hate the idea of going to the beach. 😢 On top of that, I struggle with my weight too, and it's purely genetic—nobody in my family has ever weighed less than 220 pounds, and I'm sitting here well over 285. It doesn't bother me much anymore, though, because I have a partner who loves me for exactly who I am. As for men, I say this: if they want to love me, they’ll love me like this, period. Still, school was a total disaster. People mocked me constantly, and I’m still messed up because of it today. I just hope my Sandy never has to deal with this kind of crap in her life (on her dad's side, everyone is skin and bones, but they're dark-skinned through and through).

rowdyheron80 said:😁 maybe one day I'll look at things that way too—maybe more time needs to pass before I can just let the sunlight in completely 🙂 it’s actually really nice to hear that people don't hold onto prejudices against those who are different.

rapidtinker2 said:rowdyheron80 🙂

I know it's tough, but you might be pleasantly surprised if you just laid everything out for your boyfriend—you might find he accepts it totally normally, without any judgment at all. 🙂 Nobody's perfect; we all have our flaws, our little quirks or anomalies, some just more obvious than others. From what I can tell, you've got your health situation under control, but you're putting even more of a mental burden on yourself than you probably need to. 😘

Oh man, I honestly can't imagine actually saying that to him... I mean, I know he’d probably take it really well, but just... saying it out loud? 😲

rowdyheron80 said:😁 Maybe I'll take that approach eventually. Perhaps more time needs to pass before I fully step into the light. 🙂 It’s nice to hear that people aren't always blinded by prejudice against those who are different.

To be blunt, why should you give a damn what everyone else thinks? The only opinions worth a cent are from the people close to you. Most people probably won't even notice.

Just tell him. He’ll likely react normally, and it will feel a million times easier knowing someone you love accepts you exactly as you are. You're underestimating how much strength his support can actually provide.

🙂

Amy Long said:I’m dealing with the exact same stuff... though nobody ever actually gave me a straight answer about what was going on. 🤷 Dealing with excessive hair was a nightmare for years—to this day, I still feel self-conscious about hitting the beach. 😢 Plus, weight has always been an uphill battle for me, and honestly, it runs in the family—nobody in my clan has ever weighed under 220 pounds, and I’m sitting here well over 285. It doesn't bother me as much anymore, though, because I have a partner who loves me just the way I am. Like, if a guy can't handle me like this, then he's not the one, right? Simple as that. Still, school was a total disaster. People were relentless, picking on everything, and I’m still carrying some of that baggage today. I just really hope my Sandy doesn't have to deal with any of this nonsense growing up (on her dad's side, everyone is super thin, but they've all got that darker complexion).

🙂

Are you still struggling with those things? I suspect Sandy might run into the same issues, but at least you can get ahead of it and help her early on!

Carol Long87 said:Honestly, why give a damn about what everyone else thinks? You should only really care about the people close to you. Most people probably aren't even noticing anything anyway.

Just tell him. He’ll likely take it fine, and honestly, you'll feel a million times better knowing someone you actually love accepts you exactly as you are. I think you might be underestimating how much strength you can draw from his support.

I guess I'm just one of those people—what my inner circle thinks matters a lot to me.🤷
But how do you even start a conversation like that? Like, "Hey babe, I'm a little more high-maintenance than you realize?" 😕

I can't say I have much to add to this specific conversation right now, but I'll be keeping an eye on how things unfold. kaže:
Trust me, they’re out there... It’s just a matter of ego or whatever else is driving them. You don't exactly run into people who speak with that kind of raw honesty very often. 😉

Look, hirsutism isn't some widespread, everyday thing. You’re treating it like it’s just "when a girl happens to have slightly more visible hair," but that’s a massive oversimplification. It's not even in the same ballpark. If you actually want to understand what we're talking about, go check out Wikipedia or the Mayo Clinic website and do some actual reading.

You’ll find certain pockets where Hirschsprung's disease pops up more often than others, and then there are areas where it’s practically non-existent, but if you step back and look at the big picture, it’s definitely not some widespread epidemic.
I was doing some light digging online earlier, and I stumbled upon a few studies out of places like Italy and Pakistan that point to certain regions having a significantly higher prevalence of hirsutism.

@rowdyheron80: Honestly, I think you wouldn't even see the real trouble start until after you shaved and things actually started growing back. I can't quite wrap my head around this one. It’s like trying to follow a conversation where someone keeps changing the subject mid-sentence—you think you've got the gist of it, and then suddenly, the floor drops out from under you. It feels incomplete, almost like looking at a blueprint that's missing half the structural supports. You can see what they were trying to build, sure, but without the full picture, you're just staring at a pile of lumber wondering if the whole thing is even going to stand up straight once the wind picks up. The skin situation. You know that feeling when you can shave until your face is raw, but you still catch that unmistakable "gray shadow" staring back at you in the mirror? It’s like no matter how much effort you put in, that stubble tint just refuses to budge.
Look, if your guy is actually sane, he’s going to take this in stride without making it a whole thing. But if you keep sitting there brooding and stewing over it, nothing is going to get better. You're just building up this massive amount of internal pressure, and honestly? That's a total mood killer for your sex life and intimacy.

rowdyheron80 said:Oh man, I just can't imagine actually saying that to him... I know he'd probably take it really well, but actually voicing it out loud... 😲

Just imagine the weight that would lift off your shoulders. 🙂 You already admitted you think he'd react positively—honestly, any reasonable person would. 🙂

If some guy walks away from you because of something like that—then he never actually loved you in the first place!

rowdyheron80 said:I guess that’s just who I am. What people around me think matters.🤷
How do you even start that conversation? "Look, honey, I'm a bit more complicated than you realize?"😕

Look... I believe it's always better to share something this massive and heavy with a partner. Not because you want pity, but so you aren't carrying the constant fear that everything will fall apart if they find out. Doesn't that weight crush you?

Besides, they'll eventually find out anyway, right?

rowdyheron80 said:🙂

🙂

Are you still struggling with that? I suspect Sandy will run into those exact same issues, but at least you can step in early and help her out.

And the hair situation is unreal. Seriously, there's enough of it to stuff a damn pillow. I can't get rid of it, and don't even get me started on eyebrows... I hate them.😠😠😠😠
As for the weight... ever since I had my kids, things have just been piling on. But honestly? I've made my peace with it.

rapidtinker2 said:If you only knew the sheer weight that would lift off my shoulders. 🙂 I think you know deep down he’d take it well—honestly, any sane person would at this point. 🙂

Probably, yeah... knowing him, he might not react exactly how I’m picturing it in my head—but you know how it goes, right? That nagging little "what if?" always hangs there. 🤷

Carol Long87 said:look... I honestly feel like when you're dealing with something massive—something that’s actually eating at you—it’s better to just open up to your partner. Not even because you want them to pity you, but just so you aren't walking around with this constant, low-grade dread in the back of your mind that everything will fall apart if they find out. Doesn't that weight get to be too much?

plus, eventually, they’re going to notice anyway, right?

It weighs on me—absolutely does! And yeah, they'll find out, which is exactly why I’m dreading the summer😢—but it isn't just about him. It's about everyone else, too. I’ve had people make those comments before, you know? Like, "Oh my god, look at your arms" or "Wow, you've got some serious hair there"—people saying it like it's some little joke, but...

Honestly, you should just bite the bullet and tell him how you’re feeling, because you might be surprised by how many people aren't actually judgmental, and half the things you’re stressing about probably won't even phase him. 🙂
I mean, look, everyone cares what others think—it's kind of hard not to, even when people are being total jerks about it—but trust me, everybody has had those moments where they felt super awkward or embarrassed, yet once you find someone who truly cares about you, all that noise just fades away.

Hey, rowdyheron80, see? It’s not all doom and gloom. I’m heading out from the forum now—goodnight to you and all the other ladies here who always manage to lift my spirits!

John Newman94 said:See, rowdyheron80—it’s not all bad news after all. I'm heading off the forums now... goodnight to you and all the ladies here who always manage to lift my spirits!

Goodnight to you too, and thanks for being so kind. 😍

rowdyheron80 said:Probably, yeah. Knowing him, he wouldn't react the way I’m picturing... but you know how it is. You can't help but wonder, "what if?" 🤷

Then he isn't the one. 🙂 If things start getting serious, you’re eventually going to have to let them in, right? If you get the feeling he'll take it well, he probably will. Dealing with that head-on now will save you from an incredible amount of stress down the road while you're building a life together. 🙂😘

Give me a break... honestly, if you actually told him what the deal was, he'd probably try to help you out somehow... unless you're just waiting to scrape enough cash together or you've already lost your damn mind.

Sophia Parker78 said:Either way, you should probably just be upfront with him about how you're feeling. Honestly, you might be surprised by how many people aren't actually judgmental—it turns out half the stuff we obsess over thinking is a huge deal isn't even an issue to anyone else.🙂
Everyone cares what others think, no matter how much people talk trash, but trust me, everyone has had those moments where they felt totally mortified. Once you find someone who truly cares about you, none of that matters.

That’s a fair point. I guess I'm just so worked up about it right now that I haven't stopped to consider that other people might be more chill and less judgmental than I'm giving them credit for. But when you've kept everything bottled up and never said a word out loud, it's hard to see it any other way.🤷

And just how long have you been seeing him?

rowdyheron80 said:It’s a burden, truly. It will show, which is why I dread the summer 😢—but not just because of the heat. It’s the people. I’ve had folks make comments like, "My god, look at those arms," or "Little wolf girl." They think they're being funny, but...

Give me a break... don't worry about it.

Who else is going to support you if not your boyfriend? Just tell him. He deserves to know, and you deserve to be happy.