Please, give me my brakes back!

Alexander Williams512 said:The guy clearly struggles with social skills. He didn't lay everything out on the table, but I suspect his real issue might just be a profound sense of boredom in his life.🤷

I'm not entirely sure. My initial reaction to your first post was mostly because you seemed to rely so heavily on stereotypes—shoving everything into these rigid little categories. You adopt this somewhat patronizing tone, acting as though you've already mastered life while anyone who hasn't is just some naive kid. Honestly, this whole persona of the wannabe, the "special snowflake," or the edgy rebel—it’s just typical behavior from older folks who are currently stuck in a cycle of doomism, and it really gets under my skin. It's that air of intellectual superiority, where people assume everyone else is an idiot just for being different. It's almost like saying, "Kid, you have no idea how the real world works, so just stay quiet." To be honest, those types of attitudes irritate me even more than the actual disoriented teenagers themselves. I did write a post earlier clarifying that I see him as younger and that this is all likely just part of growing up, but I don't approach it with your level of cynicism. There's a difference between observing growth and dismissing it as "immature stupidity" or thinking one is uniquely special.

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Joseph Bailey41 said:Honestly, this situation isn't even worth the headache. 🤷

I suppose I wouldn't know; I haven't actually tried it myself. 🤷

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Laura Jones56 said:I'm not entirely sure. My initial reaction to your first post was mostly because you seemed to rely so heavily on stereotypes—shoving everything into these rigid little categories. You adopt this somewhat patronizing tone, acting as though you've already mastered life while anyone who hasn't is just some naive kid. Honestly, this whole persona of the wannabe, the "special snowflake," or the edgy rebel—it’s just typical behavior from older folks who are currently stuck in a cycle of doomism, and it really gets under my skin. It's that air of intellectual superiority, where people assume everyone else is an idiot just for being different. It's almost like saying, "Kid, you have no idea how the real world works, so just stay quiet." To be honest, those types of attitudes irritate me even more than the actual disoriented teenagers themselves. I did write a post earlier clarifying that I see him as younger and that this is all likely just part of growing up, but I don't approach it with your level of cynicism. There's a difference between observing growth and dismissing it as "immature stupidity" or thinking one is uniquely special.

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It all stands there.
I've dealt with people who have been through hell and back and immediately dismiss "childish problems" with a wave of the hand. Also, speaking from experience, while psychiatric help is important, it's equally vital to actually want to move forward and work on oneself. And this guy didn't seem to have any intention of doing either...
Whether this whole situation is just a product of boredom and social stagnation or a genuine issue is something we probably won't figure out through an online forum.
I think most would agree that it's better to encourage someone to try finding their own way first, rather than jumping straight to psychotherapy and medication if there's any other option.

Alexander Williams512 said:It all stands there.
I've dealt with people who have been through hell and back and immediately dismiss "childish problems" with a wave of the hand. Also, speaking from experience, while psychiatric help is important, it's equally vital to actually want to move forward and work on oneself. And this guy didn't seem to have any intention of doing either...
Whether this whole situation is just a product of boredom and social stagnation or a genuine issue is something we probably won't figure out through an online forum.
I think most would agree that it's better to encourage someone to try finding their own way first, rather than jumping straight to psychotherapy and medication if there's any other option.

It is quite difficult to find the will to help oneself once you fall into that trap of nihilism. You feel terrible, but how can anyone truly assist you in reconciling with a world that feels, at that moment, objectively broken? As if someone could just teleport you into a reality that Leibniz clearly swapped out for this one. And even then, what would be the point? It’s just fundamentally awful. I guess intellectual nihilism creates an emotional state that essentially reinforces the very nihilism itself; it's a bit of a feedback loop. Perhaps a little more dopamine might help shift the perspective, so to speak. That’s why, yes, a person needs to take action—if they actually want to help themselves—but to him, it probably feels entirely meaningless. Though, I suppose it's all very individual.
I wouldn't necessarily label these as "childish problems." People often say, "What's the point of searching for meaning when you don't even have a paycheck?" But that doesn't really hold water. If someone is being abstract, well, that's just who they are; it's not a matter of immaturity. Some people accept the facts of existence easily, others struggle, and some simply cannot... you can't really blame them.
I am speaking from experience here as well.
As far as I can tell, the author’s situation is heavily weighted by tragedy—this obsessive thought pattern and desperate emotional state. He seems to have been hit hard and suddenly by the concept of death and its reality, which led to a total devaluation of his own life through this cosmic paradigm, and then, well, what is there left to do? He's experiencing suicidal ideation and perceives a lack of survival instinct, which I suspect is a consequence of a very real, though perhaps not yet fully conscious, suicidality, even if he knows he is thinking about it. At least, that is my rough interpretation of his condition.

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No matter how you slice it, you can't fight for self-improvement if you don't actually want it. If someone isn't planning on taking matters into their own hands, they really ought to see a doctor. And if they refuse even that? Well, there's nothing else to be done, I guess. People dealing with schizophrenia need to actually consent to treatment—to genuinely want to get better—because you can't force anyone to do it, and to me, that seems like a much bigger hurdle than some supposed existential crisis.
That sounds like: "I know I have a problem, but it hurts too much to fix." There might be a bit of truth to the idea that people "fear" getting better because staying sick gives them a perfect excuse for everything they do. But I won't digress too much; I’d suggest Emily Rivera45 seek out some professional help and avoid experimenting with opioids if at all possible.

Alexander Williams512 said:It all stands there.
I've dealt with people who have been through hell and back and immediately dismiss "childish problems" with a wave of the hand. Also, speaking from experience, while psychiatric help is important, it's equally vital to actually want to move forward and work on oneself. And this guy didn't seem to have any intention of doing either...
Whether this whole situation is just a product of boredom and social stagnation or a genuine issue is something we probably won't figure out through an online forum.
I think most would agree that it's better to encourage someone to try finding their own way first, rather than jumping straight to psychotherapy and medication if there's any other option.

I definitely agree. There's always a risk of medication being misused, and honestly, if a therapist hasn't fully cleared everything out with a patient, they might accidentally trigger some latent suicidal tendencies.

Donna White50 said:It sounds like things are just too easy for you right now—you don't have any real responsibilities or life goals that demand strength, focus, purpose, or sacrifice...
That's why, whenever you're bored, your mind drifts to the meaninglessness of life, and that idea of death—which should trigger primal fear in anyone because of the sheer nothingness—feels strangely okay or even depressing to you. You've trivialized death as a way to cope, thinking, "I'll just jump and whatever, it's no big deal, I'll just fall asleep and that's it."
Of course, you'd just be asleep. That's what death is. It isn't scary, it doesn't hurt; it's as natural as being born...
A young guy in his prime should be aiming to live life to the fullest and soak up the world around him. Death should be the absolute last thing on his mind.
Get it together and actually live—and I mean studying, building things, being creative, taking on responsibility and duties... save the thoughts about death for when you're old or when it actually comes knocking at your door. Until then, squeeze every bit of juice out of the life you have left...
And honestly, that whole idea of jumping off a balcony isn't "cool"—it's just stupid, man. You aren't special for feeling this way, believe me...

Maybe... you might be right. I'm bored because I'm not doing the things I actually want to do, but that's only because every attempt to start feels like a risk of disappointing myself or others, which leads back to feeling depressed and suicidal. When I think about it, this inactivity is just another defense mechanism; my mind protects itself from getting hurt by isolating me from the very activities that would fulfill me. I don't even know how to begin fixing any of this or how to break the cycle... I feel like I need someone to guide me, but no one has been able to help so far...
I wonder if some people are just too difficult to recover... though I'm sure certain people will just claim I'm looking for attention or being dramatic... ☕

Joseph Bailey41 said:Why? Honestly, I don't really get what your struggle is. If death were truly unacceptable to you, that would be a bit awkward given that we all have to pass away eventually. 🤷

Are you afraid that a bad day (or perhaps a bad drug 😬) might push you toward suicide even though you don't actually want to die? 🤔

Yes, exactly that. There's a huge part of me that doesn't want to die, but this small part takes over completely quite often...

Alexander Williams512 said:Dear artists,
you remind me of those young creatives who seem obsessed with playing the victim, acting as if being miserable and broken is some kind of aesthetic choice. They treat mental illness like a trendy accessory—something to make them feel special or different from the crowd. Honestly, trying to project that kind of manufactured elitism just comes off as pathetic to me. The last artist I knew who leaned into that whole persona was barely seventeen.
And what about experimenting with drugs? Is that also considered "cool"? Why even mess around with that if you can't handle the consequences?
If you had ever actually witnessed the reality of true mental illness, you’d be grateful for your sanity instead of trying to "summon" it for the sake of an image.
Go hang out with friends, find a girl, get some exercise, and see how much better life feels. It’s really not that complicated.

And if you drop the generalizations, where did you even get all this from?

Laura Jones56 said:It is quite difficult to find the will to help oneself once you fall into that trap of nihilism. You feel terrible, but how can anyone truly assist you in reconciling with a world that feels, at that moment, objectively broken? As if someone could just teleport you into a reality that Leibniz clearly swapped out for this one. And even then, what would be the point? It’s just fundamentally awful. I guess intellectual nihilism creates an emotional state that essentially reinforces the very nihilism itself; it's a bit of a feedback loop. Perhaps a little more dopamine might help shift the perspective, so to speak. That’s why, yes, a person needs to take action—if they actually want to help themselves—but to him, it probably feels entirely meaningless. Though, I suppose it's all very individual.
I wouldn't necessarily label these as "childish problems." People often say, "What's the point of searching for meaning when you don't even have a paycheck?" But that doesn't really hold water. If someone is being abstract, well, that's just who they are; it's not a matter of immaturity. Some people accept the facts of existence easily, others struggle, and some simply cannot... you can't really blame them.
I am speaking from experience here as well.
As far as I can tell, the author’s situation is heavily weighted by tragedy—this obsessive thought pattern and desperate emotional state. He seems to have been hit hard and suddenly by the concept of death and its reality, which led to a total devaluation of his own life through this cosmic paradigm, and then, well, what is there left to do? He's experiencing suicidal ideation and perceives a lack of survival instinct, which I suspect is a consequence of a very real, though perhaps not yet fully conscious, suicidality, even if he knows he is thinking about it. At least, that is my rough interpretation of his condition.

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That is exactly how my head works. I'm glad to see someone can actually understand me... thank you for that!

Facing the truth is always step one 😁
If you don't see anything resembling genuine advice in my other posts—just some semi-serious generalizations stemming from that first point—then I suppose it shouldn't surprise me that you struggle to connect with people...
So, what kind of work are you actually looking to get into?

Emily Rivera45 said:Maybe... you might be right. I'm bored because I'm not doing the things I actually want to do, but that's only because every attempt to start feels like a risk of disappointing myself or others, which leads back to feeling depressed and suicidal. When I think about it, this inactivity is just another defense mechanism; my mind protects itself from getting hurt by isolating me from the very activities that would fulfill me. I don't even know how to begin fixing any of this or how to break the cycle... I feel like I need someone to guide me, but no one has been able to help so far...
I wonder if some people are just too difficult to recover... though I'm sure certain people will just claim I'm looking for attention or being dramatic... ☕

Yes, exactly that. There's a huge part of me that doesn't want to die, but this small part takes over completely quite often...

And if you drop the generalizations, where did you even get all this from?

That is exactly how my head works. I'm glad to see someone can actually understand me... thank you for that!

The "difficult" ones are the people who have no awareness of what they're going through. You clearly do. So, what kind of things would you actually want to be doing?

Emily Rivera45 said:Sometimes I feel completely depressed and lost, other times I'm totally fine, even happy... but through all those phases, one thing remains constant: I am intensely drawn to death and the thought of it.

When I'm lying in bed at night, boredom kicks in and I start wondering what being dead is actually like—just never waking up again. That idea pulls at me. It’s enough that I’d consider doing it just for the hell of it, simply because I can. It feels like something straight out of a recent episode of Black Mirror (spoiler alert before I hit enter! 🙂 Colin sits on the balcony of an apartment and calmly asks Stephen, "One of us is going to jump, who will it be?" And when Stephen says, "You," he just nonchalantly hops over the railing, says "ok, see ya," and plunges to his death.
(end spoiler)

Sometimes, when I've played around with substances a bit too much, I get this feeling that I could actually pull off that exact scenario with the right person—just jump and not care at all. My survival instinct is incredibly low...

I wasn't always like this, of course. The hardest part is trying to fight back when life knocks me down and throws me into the dark, and since I'm pretty much broken in every direction, those moments happen almost daily...

And I wonder how everything became so complicated that my head feels heavy every single day. I think it all started a few years ago when I was in a deep depression and seriously considering suicide. Back then, it terrified me; I cried because I didn't want to leave my loved ones behind. For the first time in my life, I accepted that it could be over—that my end was coming, whatever that meant. I could cry and pray and plead to God or the devil, but life is merciless and won't offer you even a finger to hold onto...
As I sat there shaking and falling apart inside, replaying it a hundred times, suicide slowly stopped being a problem and started feeling like an option... or a solution.

Today, I don't really have the mental safeguards that healthy people have regarding death. I've played out scenes of my own death in my head far too many times...

I wonder if it's ever possible to get those safeguards back... so that when I have a bad day, I don't immediately think about leaving, but instead try to distract myself or fix the situation, just like everyone else does...

Working alongside Massachusetts General Hospital is the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline, where you can walk in without an appointment or referral between 8 AM and 8 PM, or call them anytime, 24/7.

Suicidal thoughts aren't "normal," and they aren't the result of a brain functioning correctly. A person isn't in control of these thoughts; rather, the thoughts are in control of them. All the famous people who have taken their own lives did so because of addiction, depression, or other mental health struggles.

People who believe that thinking about suicide is normal really need to talk to someone who doesn't experience those thoughts. Even then, it's hard to convince someone struggling with suicidal ideation that it isn't just a natural function of a healthy psyche.

The difference between someone who has acted on suicide and someone who is living with constant suicidal thoughts is clearly the level of dysfunction in the brain's communication. Once that line is crossed— 🙂

Laura Castillo6 said:Working alongside Massachusetts General Hospital is the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline, where you can walk in without an appointment or referral between 8 AM and 8 PM, or call them anytime, 24/7.

Suicidal thoughts aren't "normal," and they aren't the result of a brain functioning correctly. A person isn't in control of these thoughts; rather, the thoughts are in control of them. All the famous people who have taken their own lives did so because of addiction, depression, or other mental health struggles.

People who believe that thinking about suicide is normal really need to talk to someone who doesn't experience those thoughts. Even then, it's hard to convince someone struggling with suicidal ideation that it isn't just a natural function of a healthy psyche.

The difference between someone who has acted on suicide and someone who is living with constant suicidal thoughts is clearly the level of dysfunction in the brain's communication. Once that line is crossed— 🙂

I have to disagree with that.

Joseph Bailey41 said:I have to disagree with that.

Joseph Bailey41, I’m actually a strict determinist myself. 😛

Laura Castillo6 said:Working alongside Massachusetts General Hospital is the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline, where you can walk in without an appointment or referral between 8 AM and 8 PM, or call them anytime, 24/7.

Suicidal thoughts aren't "normal," and they aren't the result of a brain functioning correctly. A person isn't in control of these thoughts; rather, the thoughts are in control of them. All the famous people who have taken their own lives did so because of addiction, depression, or other mental health struggles.

People who believe that thinking about suicide is normal really need to talk to someone who doesn't experience those thoughts. Even then, it's hard to convince someone struggling with suicidal ideation that it isn't just a natural function of a healthy psyche.

The difference between someone who has acted on suicide and someone who is living with constant suicidal thoughts is clearly the level of dysfunction in the brain's communication. Once that line is crossed— 🙂

I agree. I was actually just diagnosed with anxiety and depressive disorder. I went through a phase of suicidal thoughts too, which I didn't want, and I honestly thought I’d never actually act on them.
But something else actually scared me more. One day, I just had these awful nihilistic thoughts—this sense of total emptiness, like the future simply didn't exist... I won't go into too much detail.
Anyway, I completely lost it. I tried to argue with myself to push those thoughts away, telling myself, "Hey, tomorrow is Christmas, things will get better, remember who's coming over, what we'll do, watching the kids open their gifts." I was trying so hard to force my way out of that darkness. But nothing worked. It was almost like I was talking to a stranger outside of myself.
It's a terrifying feeling.
They say anxiety is basically a disorder of thought. And I suppose depression is too.
The only thing you can really do, I guess, is learn how to bridge that gap in therapy. Without any help, I don't think it's possible.

mistylynx said:I agree. I was actually just diagnosed with anxiety and depressive disorder. I went through a phase of suicidal thoughts too, which I didn't want, and I honestly thought I’d never actually act on them.
But something else actually scared me more. One day, I just had these awful nihilistic thoughts—this sense of total emptiness, like the future simply didn't exist... I won't go into too much detail.
Anyway, I completely lost it. I tried to argue with myself to push those thoughts away, telling myself, "Hey, tomorrow is Christmas, things will get better, remember who's coming over, what we'll do, watching the kids open their gifts." I was trying so hard to force my way out of that darkness. But nothing worked. It was almost like I was talking to a stranger outside of myself.
It's a terrifying feeling.
They say anxiety is basically a disorder of thought. And I suppose depression is too.
The only thing you can really do, I guess, is learn how to bridge that gap in therapy. Without any help, I don't think it's possible.

So? Did you go through with it? 🍿

Joseph Bailey41 said:So? Did you go through with it? 🍿

wow😵

mistylynx said:wow😵

Are you currently in therapy, and if so, do you feel like it’s actually helping?

Do you use psychotherapy, and does it work for you?

I think a lot of people wonder why famous, wealthy individuals end up taking their own lives, and they never quite find the answer.

But honestly, the answer is pretty straightforward. Mental health struggles hit them so hard that they just couldn't carry the weight anymore.

I just started my medication, and I think they’re actually working. I'm seeing a psychiatrist now for regular check-ins, and we're planning to get me started on psychotherapy soon too, once we touch base about it.

Laura Castillo6 said:Are you currently in therapy, and if so, do you feel like it’s actually helping?

Do you use psychotherapy, and does it work for you?

I think a lot of people wonder why famous, wealthy individuals end up taking their own lives, and they never quite find the answer.

But honestly, the answer is pretty straightforward. Mental health struggles hit them so hard that they just couldn't carry the weight anymore.

I agree... and I would add that sometimes the very medications intended to treat these disorders can exacerbate the condition. The warnings are there in the fine print, but ultimately, the risk falls on the individual.

Joseph Bailey41 said:Honestly, this situation isn't even worth the headache. 🤷

From what I can tell, Emily Rivera45 is against legal drugs, yet seems to enjoy playing around with illegal ones... I wonder which kind?

My situation is the exact opposite... and that has proven just as dangerous for me. 😵

If you want to, go ahead and end it. Personally, I’ve felt like doing the same—my best friend took his own life, so I guess I just don't care about anyone anymore. No more sympathy left to give. Still, maybe your obsession could actually turn into some decent literature—if that's more your style. So...