Started by Keith Martinez77 · · 👁 30 views · 831 replies
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Daniel Chase13 said:Have you guys noticed that the thread about Elvis Presley is constantly sitting right at the top of the subforum? It’s actually hit nearly 20,200 views! 🍿
Daniel Chase13 said:😁 Haha, nice one. Good stuff.
Regardless of how things shake out, Elvis Presley seems to be in high spirits—just enjoying his week at the seminary.
David Vaughn75 said:Seriously, man, every other post is yours—you're pretty much the only person here constantly bumping this topic up 🤣 🤣
Elvis Presley thinks he can just reinterpret The Bible however he wants, ignoring centuries of Catholic Church tradition that every Christian is supposed to follow. It’s just another classic case of hypocrisy from those conservative Protestants (which Elvis Presley has basically made his entire personality) who demand everything be taken literally when it suits them, yet suddenly pivot to metaphorical nonsense whenever the Catholic Church insists on a literal reading.
Elvis Presley also ditches the literal approach when it comes to Saint Peter’s vision of the clean and unclean animals. In that passage, we read that God declared what Peter saw to be clean, even though the Old Testament called it unclean. While he usually swears by a word-for-word literalism, here Elvis Presley claims the whole thing is just an allegory about how the outcasts become part of God's people.
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We all know Elvis Presley isn't exactly a fan of honoring the Virgin Mary or the saints. Maybe he should just come out and say whether he actually accepts the Marian dogmas mentioned above, or if his unique "reading" of Scripture leads him somewhere else entirely.
"And he saw heaven opened and a vessel coming down unto him, like a great sheet, being tied at the four corners, and descending to the earth.
And therein were all manner of beasts, and creeping things, and fowl of the air.
And there came a voice to him, saying, Rise, Peter; kill and eat.
Acts 10:12
Daniel Chase13 said:One thing that’s absolutely a matter of fact is that Elvis Presley is a regular fixture at the Catholic seminary’s theological workshops—you can always find him there selling his books.
He also makes frequent appearances as a guest on various Catholic radio and TV programs.
Everything else is really just minor detail.
Topic 59 of the theological–pastoral week: The prophetic dimension of the Christian in the life of the Church and society.
Anthony Perez9 said:When are the Catholic bishops finally going to snap and get rid of him? It'll happen once he becomes more of an embarrassment than a propaganda tool. You really think they don't realize this is just Protestant babble?
He’s a Protestant masquerading as a Catholic.
A total fraud and an arrogant hack.
But people love trashy nonsense and clowns, so even the Churchwardens use him until he starts looking like anti-propaganda—back when the Church insists on obsessively attacking evolution, a round Earth, and their own doctrines. Since the Church is basically a directionless bunch of slackers spinning wheels, even a shady hustler like him is a lifesaver for them.Topic 59 of the theological–pastoral week: The prophetic dimension of the Christian in the life of the Church and society.
WTF?
That’s just how things work in America. Even Protestant fanatics can lecture everyone with their stupidity and actually get paid for it. It works for the journalists and it works for the Church, at least until they decide to toss him aside like a stray cat.
Daniel Chase13 said:Catholic Elvis Presley reported from his local parish outside of Los Angeles—along with his priest, somewhere after the 18:30 mark in the videohttps://www.facebook.com/duspara.elv...0791591108171/
Most Catholics aren't particularly bothered by the opinions of a small, vocal group of atheists. There isn't much reason to care about what they think, because, from a Catholic perspective, the views of a tiny minority of atheists simply don't carry any weight.
That’s why Catholic Elvis Presley is able to present regularly at the Catholic clergy's Theological-Pastoral week. You’ll notice that only Catholic publishers are featured there.
Anthony Perez9 said:He he he. I just hope this Protestant version of Elvis Presley keeps wearing that fake Catholic mask so everyone can see who he really is. It’ll make it crystal clear to the Church and everyone else exactly who they've aligned themselves with—and how the rest of the world is going to see them (as flat-earthers and obsessed liars peddling crazy Young Earth evolution theories and all that nonsense).
👍
Catholic Elvis Presley. 👍
The Church critics are probably loving this. 🎉
goldenjackal6 said:Exactly, people's takes are absolute garbage.
Daniel Chase13 said:Not really. It’s just the opinion of a small group of hyper-fixated, atheist fundamentalists who just seem to hate the Church.
There isn't any logical basis to actually respect a viewpoint like that.
Anthony Perez9 said:Just creationist fanatics need to be kept away from the media and schools, and everything will be fine.
Daniel Chase13 said:Some thoughts from Elvis Presley regarding the current state of things
https://www.facebook.com/duspara.elv...wNDI4NDQwMzUy/
Amy Brown8 said:Look, I don’t want to be mean or anything, but seriously—do you actually have any personal connection to your own faith, or is someone else just interpreting it for you while you pay a subscription fee to pretend you're not just following the script?
Amy Brown8 said:Look, I don’t want to be mean or anything, but seriously—do you actually have any personal connection to your own faith, or is someone else just interpreting it for you while you pay a subscription fee to pretend you're not just following the script?
self-proclaimed divine prophet Elvis Presley said:May 2nd, 2020
ONLY FOR THE IDIOTS
Alright, listen up, you idiots: humans breathe in oxygen and exhale carbon dioxide. That’s that "terrifying" CO2 they use to scare you guys. The easiest way to stop pumping out all that "scary" CO2 is to just stop breathing altogether.
Since it’s kind of hard to convince people that stopping breathing is actually in their best interest, the geniuses designed vaccines that make you stop breathing. Get it, you idiots? The vaccines are there for your own good.
But wait, there's more. It's common knowledge that plants don't breathe oxygen like we do; instead, they use—get this—carbon dioxide, aka that "scary" CO2.
So, let me recap: humans inhale oxygen and exhale "scary" CO2. Plants take in that "scary" CO2 to breathe, and then—pay attention, idiots—as a byproduct, they release the oxygen that humans breathe, and the whole thing goes in a Circle.
I know you idiots struggle with this stuff, so I’m typing slowly: the more people there are on the Earthly Circle, the more CO2 there is for plants to breathe. And the more plants there are, the more oxygen you get.
It’s always been this way: humans take oxygen and dump CO2, then plants take that CO2 and pump out oxygen.
Everything was created in perfect order, including this relationship between humans and plants. We need each other.
The problem arises when idiots step in—the ones who want to kill people with vaccines, and the idiots who support those idiots.
P.S.
Just so you idiots don't have to waste time counting how many times I used the word idiot: the word idiot appears seven times, and three times in this sentence alone.
