Spanking and physical discipline: what are your thoughts?

Honestly, you see it all the time lately—kids just aren't acting right. You'll have these incredibly spoiled brats who think they can just pick a fight with some random adult they don't even know. From an evolutionary standpoint, I don't even know what to say... it’s kind of like trying to grab a bull by the horns, if you catch my drift. It’s just not normal, I guess.

👍

Donna White50 said:There’s physical punishment and psychological punishment. Both are inherently traumatic for a kid, but people lean toward the latter since modern parenting styles don't allow the former—like, being sent to your room for two hours to stare at a corner is still a thing.
But you still have to set boundaries for a child, and that’s done through rewards and consequences. Without that, there's no real upbringing, because there’s no way for kids to understand or think about the results of their actions. Kids who get away with everything end up turning into little monsters.
I'm not saying hit them, but giving a kid a quick swat on the butt or sending them to their room for a timeout isn't "beating" them. Honestly, in this day and age, kids need some level of physical discipline because most parents just don't have the time for the complex psychological training required. Otherwise, everything stays in this mediocre middle ground where neither the parent finishes the job nor the kid actually gets the message...

Hell yeah! 👍
If you tell a kid ten times not to do something and they still pull it, then yeah, you're gonna give 'em a smack on the ass!

It's real easy to sit there and act like a perfect parent to a three-year-old ☕

Finally, Henry Sullivan10, someone actually called out Jelte's nonsense properly 👍

So, here’s a little tip regarding animals... if they sense something isn't going to fly, they usually have this gut instinct about it. But, I guess if a kid has never been checked once, they might end up being a bit too timid. And when I say "checked," I don't mean anything crazy, just maybe a quick demonstration of some unstoppable physical dominance from where they're standing. Like, a stern look, or crushing a soda can just to show what's up 😁. Or maybe making someone wince just by looking at them. I guess some people don't really learn that stuff until they hit school and someone plays a prank on them, and then they just figure it out on their own
.

Honestly, I don't think boundaries are even a thing you need to worry about if you started teaching them from day one. A kid just knows what’s okay and what isn’t, you know? It's pretty straightforward. They trust their parents—well, at least until puberty hits, but then everything kind of becomes a total crapshoot anyway.

I’m mostly talking about the boys here, my own son and stuff like that. I don't really know how girls are being raised these days, but I definitely know what it looks like when they aren't. The worst thing you can do is raise a little princess. And those princesses? They usually come from homes where the mom is basically just a bystander while the dad calls all the shots 😁

And then, predictably, some total loser picks up that princess

Henry Sullivan10 said:Look, let me break this down for you... To a little kid, a parent is basically God. And if you're God, you have to be fair. You have to teach them right from wrong, and sometimes that involves a carrot and a stick approach. People who equate physical discipline with straight-up abuse are either acting malicious or were probably abused themselves..

But honestly, the psychological manipulation and mental games are much worse than any physical punishment..

Back in the day, everyone in small towns used to discipline kids like that, and most turned out just fine. I know plenty of people who understood what consequences meant, and sometimes they even decided a certain action wasn't worth the trouble. It's not the end of the world.😁

Crime, punishment, clear conscience.😁

Everyone turned out fine? I don't know about that.

Look, let’s be real—as soon as you start posting, people are gonna come for you. Maybe it was your folks giving you a hard time or just growing up with parents who knew how to raise you right through tone and volume. Personally, my mom laid it down for me twice when I was a kid, and I haven't missed a beat since. 🍿

Robert Reyes4 said:Everyone turned out fine? I don't know about that.

Kids back then were way wilder and more independent... it wasn't like today where you can't even cross the street alone at twelve... back then, you basically had to learn things the hard way, maybe through some tough love from your parents... crazy, totally brainless stuff, man.

I mean, I honestly took a belt to two or three times, but by then the damage was already done 😁 and even then, it felt totally pointless. I used to be such a good kid, too

Daniel Kelly57 said:Look, let’s be real—as soon as you start posting, people are gonna come for you. Maybe it was your folks giving you a hard time or just growing up with parents who knew how to raise you right through tone and volume. Personally, my mom laid it down for me twice when I was a kid, and I haven't missed a beat since. 🍿

And what about the rest of the time? You weren't a total menace?

My mom just gave me the cold shoulder once. That did the trick.

Whoops, my bad! I guess my old man told me he actually regretted having to lay a hand on me 😁

Henry Sullivan10 said:Kids back then were way wilder and more independent... it wasn't like today where you can't even cross the street alone at twelve... back then, you basically had to learn things the hard way, maybe through some tough love from your parents... crazy, totally brainless stuff, man.

That’s just because parents weren't hovering as much. If you don't lay the groundwork early on, you're playing catch-up later.
Personally, I think the most important m
is teaching kids how to respect themselves and others. And you don't get there through punishment.

Robert Reyes4 said:And what about the rest of the time? You weren't a total menace?

My mom just gave me the cold shoulder once. That did the trick.

Fair enough. There were times where the poor girl just lost it out of pure fear. I felt pretty pathetic back then. I remember it didn't even hurt when she kicked my ass; I was just stunned by how fast she caught up to me. To this day, I can't wrap my head around it. I really thought I was fast. She caught me in a split second. Then there was that other time I took a wrong turn instead of heading to class. Honestly, the embarrassment stung way more than getting kicked. 🍿

Wait, how's that even possible?

Henry Sullivan10 said:Whoops, my bad! I guess my old man told me he actually regretted having to lay a hand on me 😁

My dad would never do that to me. 🍿

I’ve heard it a million times growing up—you can’t give what you haven't been given.
So, look, if you raise a kid using violence as your main tool instead of actually earning their respect, you can't be surprised when they turn around and use that same aggression on you or everyone else down the road. It's just how it works, I guess. 🤷

Personally, I wouldn't want to deal with that from my own kid, and I definitely wouldn't want it to become their default setting whenever life throws them a curveball. 😳

Henry Sullivan10 said:Wait, how's that even possible?

Through integrity.
For instance, my mom couldn't stand lying. I never even dared to tell a lie because I was terrified of disappointing her—or anyone else, really. Looking back, that might be a bit dramatic; sometimes you have to tell a white lie just to get through the day.
And through high expectations.
Growing up, we kept cash in a kitchen drawer. Back in elementary school, if I needed something, they'd just tell me, "Go grab it from the drawer." I could pick up small things without even asking. They never checked up on me or questioned how much I took, but I just knew where the line was. It never crossed my mind to take more than I needed.
They never even asked if I’d done my homework or studied, because it was just assumed I would. And honestly, I did.

Of course, they weren't perfect. I'm only highlighting the parts that actually worked out well. In other areas, things definitely went south.

Mark Nelson said:I’ve heard it a million times growing up—you can’t give what you haven't been given.
So, look, if you raise a kid using violence as your main tool instead of actually earning their respect, you can't be surprised when they turn around and use that same aggression on you or everyone else down the road. It's just how it works, I guess. 🤷

Personally, I wouldn't want to deal with that from my own kid, and I definitely wouldn't want it to become their default setting whenever life throws them a curveball. 😳

I'd never do that to my mom, even then. Besides, she already kicked my ass twice. 🍿

Mark Nelson said:I’ve heard it a million times growing up—you can’t give what you haven't been given.
So, look, if you raise a kid using violence as your main tool instead of actually earning their respect, you can't be surprised when they turn around and use that same aggression on you or everyone else down the road. It's just how it works, I guess. 🤷

Personally, I wouldn't want to deal with that from my own kid, and I definitely wouldn't want it to become their default setting whenever life throws them a curveball. 😳

Political power (authority) comes from the barrel of a gun—Mao Tse Tung

Robert Reyes4 As expressed by feralranger:
It is simply because they neglected them from the very beginning. Once you fail to lay down a solid foundation right out of the gate, trying to patch things up later becomes an uphill battle that most people aren't prepared for.
I am inclined to believe that the most vital element is...
A proper diet should serve as a catalyst for developing self-discipline and a newfound respect for others; however, one simply cannot achieve such lofty virtues through the blunt instrument of punishment.

It isn't always that simple, nor does there exist some sort of universal "magic formula" for these situations. I recall a kid who attended school with my son; he was quite frankly the most relentless bully in his entire grade. The kicker? His mother was a professional psychologist specializing specifically in child development! She raised him strictly "by the book," following every psychological principle to the letter, yet somehow, her little boy still turned out to be a nightmare for everyone else.

On the other hand, one of my close friends—my maid of honor from years ago—certainly believed in the old-school method of discipline, relying heavily on a firm hand to keep her three children in line. And yet, looking at them now, they turned out to be the absolute picture of propriety; we're talking top-tier manners, elite private schooling, Ivy League degrees, the whole nine yards. They’ve never once stepped an inch out of line or caused a moment of scandal.

We raised our children without ever resorting to corporal punishment, yet it is becoming increasingly apparent that her offspring are navigating life with far greater ease and success than ours ever did.

One shouldn't fall into the trap of assuming that your particular experience serves as some sort of universal blueprint or a definitive "how-to" guide for everyone else. There are countless examples out there that prove otherwise.