Why do we feel the need to hide our emotions?

casualharbor9 said:So, what? We're supposed to just be hypocrites?

Paul Thompson3 said:We’re basically hardwired to be selective with our feelings—basically just picking the right emotion for the right moment.

Austin Vaughn3 said:Exactly. We follow the script because deviating gets you punished. It’s survival. We suppress how we actually feel just to protect ourselves. Can we really blame anyone for that? I don't think so. Being vulnerable is a liability, and people take advantage of that constantly.

Henry Lopez13 said:Truth. Being vulnerable is hard

Bryan Martinez72 said:Look, not everyone processes things the same way—some people wear their hearts on their sleeves while others act like they’re made of stone. Usually, when someone holds back, it boils down to being terrified of being vulnerable or just straight-up refusing to acknowledge what they're actually feeling. A lot of this traces back to how we were raised and the environment we grew up in, too—especially for guys, since society tends to push that "tough it out" mentality on them from day one. If a kid is naturally sensitive and reacts to stuff with tears or genuine fear, but the people around them just mock them or tell them to toughen up? Well, obviously, that’s just going to make them feel even worse.
For some, that becomes a turning point where they shut down entirely—either because they can't find the right words to explain what's happening inside, or they just lack the capacity to express it. And like I was saying earlier, you can try to deny your own emotions all you want by pretending you aren't vulnerable, but let's be real: those feelings always find a way to bubble up to the surface eventually.

Henry Lopez13 said:Truth. Being vulnerable is hard

redbear2 said:I guess having a weak point is just part of the deal.

Richard Wells said:Enivej, what exactly do you mean by a weak spot?

Bryan Martinez72 said:I mean, everyone’s got their own weak spots, right? So why does it have to be such a struggle for everyone all the time? 🤷

feralbison68 said:When you go looking for empathy from people you actually thought might understand you, only to have them turn around and slap you down instead, I guess there’s really no point in being vulnerable; you just end up performing a role. ☕

Just imagine it—you finally open up and admit that you’ve been struggling with depression and dark thoughts for a long time, and you’re a MAN, no less!
Naturally, they decide you're just some pathetic loser who isn't worth a damn. 🙄

So, I suppose the only way forward is to slap on a fake smile and pretend everything is perfectly fine. 🙂

Donna White50 said:I’m basically a pro at hiding and suppressing my feelings...
It’s a habit from when I was a kid—growing up in a house where you couldn't really express yourself, and emotions weren't really "allowed" unless they were negative... I was never encouraged to open up.
Suppressing everything was just how I protected myself, how I survived, and how I kept myself from being too vulnerable...
Even now, it's incredibly hard for me to be open. Very few people actually know who I am... honestly, I still see opening up as a weakness. Being cold, closed off, and unapproachable feels like an advantage to me—when people don't know your weak spots and you keep them at arm's length, it keeps you from getting hurt and gives you a certain level of respect...
I've lost a lot of beautiful things in life because of acting this way, but I don't know any other way, and I don't feel like I'm allowed to change. I'm not capable of hurting others or truly reading the person in front of me, and if I did let my guard down, I'd probably just end up disappointed... I just don't put myself out there...🙄
In this crazy world we live in today, you have to wear a mask and only show your true self once someone has actually proven they deserve to see it...

Benjamin Lee40 said:Quincy:

I don't know what to tell you—sometimes things just click, and other times they don't! It’s funny how that works, really. You think you've got a handle on things, and then—bam—everything shifts. But hey, that's life, right? Just rolling along. Anyway, I was thinking about this earlier while grabbing a coffee down at Starbucks, and it hit me... we just have to roll with it. No sense stressing over the small stuff when you can just enjoy the ride. It's all about that mindset. kaže: Look, that need isn't just some random thing—it’s actually pretty fundamental. But before we dive too deep into that, we really need to pin down what we even mean when we talk about emotions. To me, an emotion is basically just energy in motion: E - MOTIONEmotions are the fuel—they’re really the engine that drives every single thought we have. What flows from the mind—it's really just emotion fueling the whole engine. I’ve always felt that emotions are really just words vibrating in a different kind of energy—kind of like how sound waves work, if you think about it—and honestly, it's such a wild concept when you sit with it for a second. It’s pretty much the same reason we hold back our actual thoughts—we just end up practicing a bit of stoicism instead. But wait, what about feelings? What about actually showing some emotion? Feelings? They’re basically just your heart’s way of talking back to you—it’s the core of who you actually are. That’s when all the thoughts and emotions really start to hit—you know? It’s that moment where everything just kind of flows together. Everything is just... in sync. Everything is in total harmony.A total catalyst for feelings. So, anyway... I don't know what to tell you—it’s just primal. It's that raw, gut-level stuff that hits you before you even have time to process it. Some things you just can't explain with logic, you know? It's just there. Deep down. Original. So, I was thinking about this earlier—and honestly, it’s one of those things that just hits you when you're sitting there staring at a coffee cup—but why do we feel this massive urge to tuck away our thoughts and emotions? Like, why do we hide what's going on inside? I truly believe it's because both of them—our internal monologue and our actual feelings—just aren't meant for public consumption. They're private. It's almost like a form of necessary stoicism, isn't it? You just keep things close to the chest because some stuff is simply meant to stay between you and yourself. Showing off outside—you know, just being out there in the world and letting people see what you're about.It looks like you might have hit send a little too early! I didn't quite catch that last part—it seems like the thought got cut off mid-sentence. Anyway, whenever you're ready, just toss the rest my way and we can get into it! Tools—it’s funny how much we take them for granted, isn't it? I was just thinking about that while looking at my garage setup this morning. You know, those little things that make or break a project. Whether you're working on a car in a driveway in Ohio or just trying to fix a loose cabinet door in a suburban kitchen, having the right gear changes everything. It’s not even about having the most expensive stuff from Home Depot—though, let's be honest, sometimes those high-end power tools are hard to resist—it's more about having exactly what you need when the job calls for it. I’ve always felt that a man's toolkit says a lot about his approach to life, too. A bit disorganized? Maybe a bit rushed. But if everything is laid out, clean and ready, well, that's just good practice. Anyway, I'm rambling. Just one of those thoughts!Think of it this way—we all have these little tools for absorbing and filtering everything happening in the world around us—it’s like we're constantly taking in all that external energy and funneling it straight down to our core. It hits the center of our hearts, and then, depending on how that filter is working, our hearts just start pumping out all these different feelings... Honestly, when you start thinking about how clean the filtering process actually is—I mean, really getting into the weeds of it—it’s kind of wild. It’s all about that pure, uninterrupted flow, you know? Like when you're trying to get everything sorted perfectly without any of that messy leftover noise getting in the way. It’s just one of those things where if you don't nail the precision from the jump, the whole thing just feels off—kind of like trying to fix a glitchy interface after you've already launched. But once it's dialed in? Man, it's smooth. Just seamless. It’s honestly wild when you think about it—we're talking about energy levels that are like, a thousand times more intense than any electromagnetic field our brain could ever put out. Just massive. It's one of those things that really makes you stop and wonder how everything fits together, right? Look, if you’re one of those people who feels like you're constantly suppressing everything—you know, struggling with that sense of stoicism when you really don't want to—what you actually need to do is just own that feeling of being suppressed. Seriously. It sounds a bit circular, I know—and maybe I'm rambling here—but bear with me—but the point is, we aren't even talking about the emotions themselves right now. We're talking about the act of pushing them down. That's where the real work happens. Here’s my golden rule—whenever a FEELING pops up, you just gotta lean into it and accept it. I’m not talking about being all dramatic and emotional, though—just pure, simple stoicism. I’ve always thought there was a massive distinction between the two—it’s kind of subtle, but it matters—so here’s how I see it: a feeling is basically just your internal relationship with yourself, whereas an emotion is what happens when you start reacting to someone else or something out there in the world. It's all about where that energy is directed, really. See, here’s the thing—once you just lean into that feeling of being depressed, everything suddenly feels way more relaxed. It sounds weird, I know—but it works! It's because you stop fighting a losing battle against the blues. Instead of trying to wrestle it into submission, you just let it happen, and then, almost out of nowhere, it starts to fade away. In practical terms—and I really believe this—when you white-knuckle your way through life trying to force yourself to feel "happy" or "up," you actually end up creating this massive internal friction. You're basically building up all this tension that makes it physically impossible to actually feel better. It's like trying to swim against a massive current in the middle of the Atlantic—you're just going to exhaust yourself before you get anywhere. I truly believe that emotions are basically the language of the soul—you know, the language of your heart. When you actually lean into those feelings instead of running away from them, you’re essentially accepting who you are. And honestly? That is such a beautiful thing... just embracing your own heart and being okay with yourself. Once you do that, you finally feel whole. You feel complete. And that's when the whole cycle of suppressing your true self just stops—because you finally KNOW that you're being genuine in how you communicate with the world. That’s the part people seem to be missing lately—they just don't have enough self-awareness to feel certain that they are whole, which makes it so much harder to be ready for life, for happiness, or even just for some peace and quiet.

Could you give me an example of that bolded and underlined part?
Maybe I could suggest some lighter reading to help you reach that headspace of self-acceptance? You know, like a little guidebook or a manual for the soul—something easy to digest while you're working through it all.
And can you actually pull that off regardless of what year the thing was built?

wearyhound73 said:Forgot to mention—I NEVER fake it—and honestly, I’m glad about that!👍

Is there any point in discussing this? Does anyone actually believe that those specific numbers change the outcome? It feels like we’re just rearranging deck chairs on the Titanic at this stage. We go through the motions, we follow the rules, and yet the result remains predictably underwhelming. Why bother overcomplicating a process that was clearly flawed from the start? It’s almost funny, if you have that kind of dark sense of humor. One might wonder if the effort itself is just a distraction from the inevitable. But then again, maybe I'm being too cynical. Or maybe I'm the only one seeing things for what they really are. kaže: If we're talking about the job that actually pays your mortgage—and you're living here in the States—then you might as well just aim for the middle ground until someone actually decides to look.☕

Paul White80 said:A better way to put it would be that you shouldn't fight someone who's even more unhinged than you are.

🙏