Why do we feel the need to hide our emotions?

Paul White80 said:That's like someone claiming they "never" tell a lie. 😁

Richard Wells said:Exactly. We don't lie. 😁

If you get it, you get it. If you don't... well, whatever—it doesn't matter. 🙄

redbear2 said:It’d be an interesting move if you just took a leap off a bridge.

Just talking nonsense. Totally unnecessary.

Richard Wells said:Just talking nonsense. Totally unnecessary.

Same here.

wearyhound73 said:If you get it, you get it. If you don't... well, whatever—it doesn't matter. 🙄

Look, if even half of these self-proclaimed truth-seekers actually lived by their word, this whole society would collapse overnight. 😍

But instead, everyone just keeps playing along with the madness, treating the actual truth like it's some forbidden taboo. 😍

Paul White80 said:That's like someone claiming they "never" tell a lie. 😁

Look, lying and acting aren't really the same thing. You might think I'm just putting on a show, but for me, this is just who I am—it's my natural state of being. So, you could actually argue that an actor is just finally showing their true self.

velvetrider14 said:Look, lying and acting aren't really the same thing. You might think I'm just putting on a show, but for me, this is just who I am—it's my natural state of being. So, you could actually argue that an actor is just finally showing their true self.

Give me a break! You can't spend 100% of your life performing your "true self" or blabbing every unfiltered truth you have. Humans aren't built for that kind of perfection, are they?

I honestly don't think the "true self" is some final destination you just reach one day; it’s more like this ongoing process that lasts from the moment you're born until the day you die. At any given second, we're basically just out here trying to visualize who our real selves are and what our actual identity is.

So, what do you think—is someone like that just a pathological liar, a total actor, or are they actually just sketching out their own identity?

velvetrider14 said:I honestly don't think the "true self" is some final destination you just reach one day; it’s more like this ongoing process that lasts from the moment you're born until the day you die. At any given second, we're basically just out here trying to visualize who our real selves are and what our actual identity is.

So, what do you think—is someone like that just a pathological liar, a total actor, or are they actually just sketching out their own identity?

So, what is your actual identity? What is your true self?

In your opinion, what defines a pathological liar, an actor, or an identity thief?

I don't even follow the question. Am I supposed to explain my definition of a pathological liar, acting, or identity theft (what even is that last one? 😁)? Or should I analyze a liar through the lens of acting or theft, or perhaps try to categorize them into one of those groups? 😁

Paul White80 said:So, what is your actual identity? What is your true self?

In your opinion, what defines a pathological liar, an actor, or an identity thief?

I don't even follow the question. Am I supposed to explain my definition of a pathological liar, acting, or identity theft (what even is that last one? 😁)? Or should I analyze a liar through the lens of acting or theft, or perhaps try to categorize them into one of those groups? 😁

Just me, honestly, flaws and all.

I'm not quite following the question. Am I supposed to break down my take on pathological liars, acting, and identity traits (which, by the way, even is that last one? 😁 ), or should I look at a pathological liar through the lens of performance versus character traits, or maybe just try to categorize them into one of those groups? 😁

Well... you don't have to do anything if the point isn't landing. I was just trying to show you that expressing who you are doesn't always mean you're strictly telling the truth.

velvetrider14 said:Just me, honestly, flaws and all.

I'm not quite following the question. Am I supposed to break down my take on pathological liars, acting, and identity traits (which, by the way, even is that last one? 😁 ), or should I look at a pathological liar through the lens of performance versus character traits, or maybe just try to categorize them into one of those groups? 😁

Well... you don't have to do anything if the point isn't landing. I was just trying to show you that expressing who you are doesn't always mean you're strictly telling the truth.

Is that it? That's all you've got?

well... you don't have to say anything if you don't get the point of the question. I was just trying to show you that expressing who you are doesn't strictly mean telling the truth.

Of course it doesn't! People can barely manage to tell the truth 2% of the time they're actually awake, let alone 100%.😍

They aren't lying, they just don't realize it. The human mind and our senses are such limited tools; we can't possibly grasp everything out there. But people still try. And because our perspective is so narrow—constantly filtered through the ego of who we think we are—we get stuck. Personally, I stopped chasing this idea of "The Truth" a long time ago. Sure, facts exist, but most of what we talk about—opinions, observations, perceptions—is just a reflection of an individual's personal filter, which is shaped by a million different things. There’s zero chance of finding some objective truth in a conversation like that.

People are just selfish. When you actually try being honest and open, 95% of them will just take advantage of you, disrespect you, or belittle you. That is why you have to hide your emotions.

One shouldn't just hand them out to anyone...

Rachel Bishop4 said:People are just selfish. When you actually try being honest and open, 95% of them will just take advantage of you, disrespect you, or belittle you. That is why you have to hide your emotions.

Why do you think they're jerks? If you handed your power over to anyone—especially the wrong people—and they didn't respect it, wouldn't they act like jerks?

Richard Wells said:Why do you think they're jerks? If you handed your power over to anyone—especially the wrong people—and they didn't respect it, wouldn't they act like jerks?

No, real trash is an amateur who can't tell a good person from a bad one. And the person exploiting that naivety to manipulate others or cause harm just for kicks? That’s what true perfection looks like. 🙄

I'm exaggerating, sure, but you get my point. I know you shouldn't throw pearls before swine, but isn't it harder when those swine are wearing designer suits and acting like civilized Americans? 😁

Carl Rivera43 said:So, I wanted to throw some thoughts out there regarding the main topic here.

Also, I’d love to hear your take on why alcohol seems to unlock such deep emotional layers for so many people?
Do you think that constantly bottling up our feelings eventually leads to total burnout and a loss of focus?

How do we explain this current era where hiding how we actually feel seems almost encouraged? Does seeing people who are overly emotional or brutally honest inspire you, or do you find those habits a bit much?

Anyway, those are just some jumping-off points for the discussion. Maybe in this online space, we can actually talk more freely about stuff like this—topics that rarely get any airtime in the mainstream media.
Do you ever dive into these kinds of deep conversations with your friends or people you know?

I wouldn't know, honestly, since I don't touch the stuff.
Alcohol doesn't open up emotions; it just blurs them.

It basically just temporarily drowns out negative feelings... which is why people drink.😉

Do you think suppressing too many emotions leads to excessive depression and a loss of focus?

Suppressed fear eventually turns into rage and depression...
And suppressed injustice manifests as grief and anger.
It doesn't really matter if we hide things from others; what matters is that we don't lie to ourselves—that we don't force ourselves to feel things we aren't feeling, or deny what we actually do feel.
Swallowing your negative emotions whole is a direct path to depression, outbursts, and physical health issues.

The key is expressing those emotions effectively... before they morph into something much uglier and more destructive for everyone involved, including ourselves.
That is, until we learn how to deconstruct and actually handle them.

How do you explain the current era where, let's say, hiding one's emotions is almost encouraged? Do people who are overly emotional and brutally honest inspire you, or do you find those habits problematic?

I am honest with the honest.
I appreciate people who wear their hearts on their sleeves... though personally, due to some past experiences and general vulnerability, I don't show everything to everyone.
It isn't necessarily about a lack of trust, but rather... bad experiences, the fear of being emotionally wounded when showing certain feelings, realizing my own emotional weaknesses, fearing judgment, worrying people will exploit my feelings, or losing illusions that—even if they are just illusions—still mean something to me.
Last birthday, I had to let go of a few illusions, which wasn't exactly a pleasant experience.
You shouldn't offer your emotions to someone who won't respect them.
I don't exactly have blind faith that everyone is going to step up and help me.
More often than not, people will just target my vulnerabilities... or mock me.
So, I block.
It's difficult for me because I am an emotional person by nature, but this is better for my peace of mind.

As for the rest? I'm working on it.😉

Do you discuss these kinds of topics with your friends or acquaintances?

Only with a select few... one of them is a wonderful, brilliant woman from Chicago who understands this perfectly (hi, B.).
Otherwise, I generally don't talk about it... there are certain emotional secrets I haven't told anyone and probably never will.
Only God knows them.
My world.😉

Richard Wells said:Why do you think they're jerks? If you handed your power over to anyone—especially the wrong people—and they didn't respect it, wouldn't they act like jerks?

It’s that whole "I tripped and killed myself" logic. This quote is just an excuse to bottle everything up. Sure, you shouldn't hand over your agency to just anybody... but how are you supposed to spot the wrong ones? In the end, you just end up missing out on both the wrong people and the right ones.

Henry Lopez10 said:I wouldn't know, honestly, since I don't touch the stuff.
Alcohol doesn't open up emotions; it just blurs them.

It basically just temporarily drowns out negative feelings... which is why people drink.😉

Do you think suppressing too many emotions leads to excessive depression and a loss of focus?

Suppressed fear eventually turns into rage and depression...
And suppressed injustice manifests as grief and anger.
It doesn't really matter if we hide things from others; what matters is that we don't lie to ourselves—that we don't force ourselves to feel things we aren't feeling, or deny what we actually do feel.
Swallowing your negative emotions whole is a direct path to depression, outbursts, and physical health issues.

The key is expressing those emotions effectively... before they morph into something much uglier and more destructive for everyone involved, including ourselves.
That is, until we learn how to deconstruct and actually handle them.

How do you explain the current era where, let's say, hiding one's emotions is almost encouraged? Do people who are overly emotional and brutally honest inspire you, or do you find those habits problematic?

I am honest with the honest.
I appreciate people who wear their hearts on their sleeves... though personally, due to some past experiences and general vulnerability, I don't show everything to everyone.
It isn't necessarily about a lack of trust, but rather... bad experiences, the fear of being emotionally wounded when showing certain feelings, realizing my own emotional weaknesses, fearing judgment, worrying people will exploit my feelings, or losing illusions that—even if they are just illusions—still mean something to me.
Last birthday, I had to let go of a few illusions, which wasn't exactly a pleasant experience.
You shouldn't offer your emotions to someone who won't respect them.
I don't exactly have blind faith that everyone is going to step up and help me.
More often than not, people will just target my vulnerabilities... or mock me.
So, I block.
It's difficult for me because I am an emotional person by nature, but this is better for my peace of mind.

As for the rest? I'm working on it.😉

Do you discuss these kinds of topics with your friends or acquaintances?

Only with a select few... one of them is a wonderful, brilliant woman from Chicago who understands this perfectly (hi, B.).
Otherwise, I generally don't talk about it... there are certain emotional secrets I haven't told anyone and probably never will.
Only God knows them.
My world.😉

This hits home.

It would be frankly absurd to expect everyone to wear their heart on their sleeve at all times—it just isn't realistic. Personally, I make a point of keeping my emotions in check when the situation calls for it; think professional settings or casual gatherings with acquaintances who aren't exactly my inner circle. However, once I am home with my family or being myself with my partner, I give 100% and express how I feel without reservation—anything else would feel performative and, quite frankly, unfair.
On the other hand, there are certain individuals who maintain a wall even around those closest to them. You never truly see an authentic emotion from them—be it joy or frustration—and that is honestly quite a shame.

Paul White80 said:Give me a break! You can't spend 100% of your life performing your "true self" or blabbing every unfiltered truth you have. Humans aren't built for that kind of perfection, are they?

Paul White80 said:So, what is your actual identity? What is your true self?

In your opinion, what defines a pathological liar, an actor, or an identity thief?

I don't even follow the question. Am I supposed to explain my definition of a pathological liar, acting, or identity theft (what even is that last one? 😁)? Or should I analyze a liar through the lens of acting or theft, or perhaps try to categorize them into one of those groups? 😁

Good question. Your whole identity is basically tied to your social standing—you know, the whole "I'm part of the G7," born in a certain era, a Capricorn, male by gender, a pro athlete for a living, and all that other stuff.

Truth isn't some fixed, perfect thing you just stumble upon. Maybe it’s just character—but even that's a moving target, right? You can always shift things around with enough willpower and discipline.

Look, when you're talking about emotions versus just reacting emotionally—it really comes down to temperament, how you're feeling in the moment, and just a whole bunch of random circumstances. It's all tied together, isn't it?
So, if someone cuts you off in a parking lot—say you’re already running on empty or just having one of those days where everything is going south—your legal standing in that moment? Honestly, it's pretty shaky. Is it even worth the fight? Probably not.
If things are going well and the vibe is good—you know, just one of those bright, sunny days—I might actually turn into a pretty laid-back, funny guy in that same situation. Who knows? Maybe I'll even crack a joke or two.

Who even are those two? Honestly, they’re pretty unpredictable—kind of both sides at once, and yet, neither.

It’s not even about hiding how you feel—it’s more about management. You control those impulses because that split-second reaction isn't always your "true self"—whatever that actually means. To me, your true self is the version of you that stays aware of the situation—kind of like what Carpe Diem was getting at—and decides who you want to be in that moment. That takes a decent amount of self-control, honestly.