School closures/delays?

I get what you mean, which is why most parents prefer delaying it. After all, after-school programs usually only run through third grade at a handful of schools; most places just offer first or second grade. Plus, an eight-year-old kid coming home at 11:00 AM and staying until 5:00 PM... 😁
...or they might just have the whole morning until 2:00 PM 😁

Nosorog 🙂 I was actually reacting to one specific thing you said, though I’m totally on board with the rest of your point.
The whole overprotection thing is such a massive topic...
So here’s my little dilemma: my kid had his first real assignment from elementary school, which was basically just to draw some characters from a play they saw in class that day. He knocked out two characters, colored them in, and decided he was officially done for the day. We started chatting about it, and it turned out there were a ton of other characters in the show, so I tried nudging him to just add one more. Long story short, this "homework" dragged on all weekend until we finally settled on four characters. The actual drawing part took him maybe ten minutes total, but I spent at least thirty minutes playing negotiator just to get him moving.
Then Monday rolls around, and I have to peek at everyone's notebooks. Out of the five kids in the group, four of them had nothing but these tiny little scribbles—just random shapes you can doodle in ten seconds flat. Only one kid actually put in the effort to draw something recognizable.
It makes me wonder: do I just let him fly solo, even if it means turning in total nonsense that lacks any real effort, or should I keep talking him through it and guiding him along? Just to be clear, I wasn't hovering over his shoulder while he worked or correcting his lines.

Brian Barnes5 said:Nosorog 🙂 I was actually reacting to one specific thing you said, though I’m totally on board with the rest of your point.
The whole overprotection thing is such a massive topic...
So here’s my little dilemma: my kid had his first real assignment from elementary school, which was basically just to draw some characters from a play they saw in class that day. He knocked out two characters, colored them in, and decided he was officially done for the day. We started chatting about it, and it turned out there were a ton of other characters in the show, so I tried nudging him to just add one more. Long story short, this "homework" dragged on all weekend until we finally settled on four characters. The actual drawing part took him maybe ten minutes total, but I spent at least thirty minutes playing negotiator just to get him moving.
Then Monday rolls around, and I have to peek at everyone's notebooks. Out of the five kids in the group, four of them had nothing but these tiny little scribbles—just random shapes you can doodle in ten seconds flat. Only one kid actually put in the effort to draw something recognizable.
It makes me wonder: do I just let him fly solo, even if it means turning in total nonsense that lacks any real effort, or should I keep talking him through it and guiding him along? Just to be clear, I wasn't hovering over his shoulder while he worked or correcting his lines.

you're only at the starting line 😁
there might come a day when you decide to let him try to be independent and figure out for yourself when help is actually necessary. A little guidance might be wise at first, but if he struggles to fly solo later on, you can always step in as needed.

Puff, I honestly have no clue what the legalities are regarding kids being left home alone.
So, here’s my latest "what drives me crazy" rant: it feels like everyone else has some grandma who doesn't have a life of her own, basically acting as a full-time, 24/7 concierge for the kids and grandkids. Everyone except me! (I mean, when did all these grandmas actually retire!?) Since we live in a smaller town, I feel like this pressure is way more intense than it would be in a huge place like Washington, D.C.
Because of that, only two out of our four local elementary schools even offer after-school programs, which frankly isn't even necessary. Apparently, one of those schools barely has ten kids enrolled in their program anyway. 🤷
Our school doesn't have one at all. To make matters worse, they flip the schedule every other week—one week they go in the afternoon, the next they're there in the morning. That’s the part that really gets under my skin. I can wrap my head around a lack of space or staff, but I just can't get behind letting kids' lives be totally upended by a weekly schedule shuffle.
It means that every second week, my kid is expected to wake up solo, eat breakfast, tackle homework, grab lunch, get dressed, and head out the door entirely on his own.
Even if I had the budget for a nanny (which I will eventually have to find because I don't have a choice), I still believe that starting school should be about teaching kids how to be somewhat independent. A little bit, sure, but what my son is facing right now feels like way too much, even for just the first few months.
Not having a retired grandma ready to drop everything for the kids isn't a valid excuse to delay starting school, obviously...

Why were you encouraging him to keep drawing?

Honestly, I’m starting to think I totally missed the mark there. I really didn't want it to come off like I was being dismissive, you know? Like, out of twenty different people, I only managed to recall one single name... which feels a bit silly. 🕺 Plus, they're super into drawing—like, they spend a ton of time sketching all sorts of things.
I realize this is just the very first step out of a billion tiny tasks ahead, but I really want to kick things off the right way, finding that sweet spot where they feel totally independent but still know I've always got their back.

Brian Barnes5 said:Honestly, I’m starting to think I totally missed the mark there. I really didn't want it to come off like I was being dismissive, you know? Like, out of twenty different people, I only managed to recall one single name... which feels a bit silly. 🕺 Plus, they're super into drawing—like, they spend a ton of time sketching all sorts of things.
I realize this is just the very first step out of a billion tiny tasks ahead, but I really want to kick things off the right way, finding that sweet spot where they feel totally independent but still know I've always got their back.

The assignment was for HIM to draw characters from the play. It definitely didn't say he had to draw every single person in it.

He drew the ones he wanted to draw, not the ones you thought he should pick just so he wouldn't look clueless. He isn't clueless.

You basically projected your own assumptions onto your kid about what he "should" remember just so he doesn't come across as a failure.

And you say you want HIM to start off right, but you don't want to accidentally crush his independence or tank his self-esteem just because he isn't meeting your specific standards.

That’s how it reads, anyway. It probably isn't what you meant, but maybe take a second to step back and really look at how you phrased that.

Man, you’re totally right about that. I’m not even going to argue. 🕺
I’ve decided to just stay out of the homework drama this week.
He had this one assignment where they had to draw stuff they saw while visiting Washington, D.C. They’d gone to a show and hit up the Museum of Illusions, and honestly, I didn't say a single word to him about it. He just sat there and drew this incredibly detailed little house—basically the whole museum from the outside. 😬
I made sure to give him tons of credit for the effort, especially since he was totally in the zone for over half an hour.

edit: mods, my bad. I’ll stop talking about schoolwork, at least not on this thread.

Hey everyone,

My kid just took his elementary school readiness assessment, and the verdict was that he isn’t quite "ready" for first grade yet. To be fair, he was born right on the cutoff line, so he’ll be among the oldest in the next cohort if we wait. And look, I get it—it makes sense to listen to the experts and just hold him back a year.
But here’s the thing: at his preschool, he’s already made a tight group of friends. We really don't want to rip him away from them, especially since there aren't many kids his age living nearby, and there won't be any in the next grade level either. Plus, the kid is actually genuinely excited to start "big kid" school.
The main sticking point from the testing was his speech; apparently, he isn't perfectly clear yet. As for everything else, he did pretty well—most areas were solid, and some were actually above average.
We’d love for him to move forward, though we aren't trying to force the issue. I don't think he'll fall behind academically because, honestly, he already knows what he needs to know. For instance, he’s got his letters down and can handle addition up to 10 without breaking a sweat.
So, I'm wondering what the options are here. Is the admissions committee the final word on this, or is there a way to present our own arguments and reasoning to convince them that he’s ready to jump in now?

Chris Fowler4 said:Hey everyone,

My kid just took his elementary school readiness assessment, and the verdict was that he isn’t quite "ready" for first grade yet. To be fair, he was born right on the cutoff line, so he’ll be among the oldest in the next cohort if we wait. And look, I get it—it makes sense to listen to the experts and just hold him back a year.
But here’s the thing: at his preschool, he’s already made a tight group of friends. We really don't want to rip him away from them, especially since there aren't many kids his age living nearby, and there won't be any in the next grade level either. Plus, the kid is actually genuinely excited to start "big kid" school.
The main sticking point from the testing was his speech; apparently, he isn't perfectly clear yet. As for everything else, he did pretty well—most areas were solid, and some were actually above average.
We’d love for him to move forward, though we aren't trying to force the issue. I don't think he'll fall behind academically because, honestly, he already knows what he needs to know. For instance, he’s got his letters down and can handle addition up to 10 without breaking a sweat.
So, I'm wondering what the options are here. Is the admissions committee the final word on this, or is there a way to present our own arguments and reasoning to convince them that he’s ready to jump in now?

Look, at the end of the day, the call is yours, but if they’re already struggling to get their words out clearly, there’s a massive chance they’re going to hit a wall when it comes to spelling.
If that happens, the whole school experience is just going to be an uphill battle for them.

You also have to keep in mind that a ton of kids head into kindergarten already knowing how to read—and I don't just mean recognizing letters, but actually putting together words and full sentences—so the curriculum tends to move pretty fast once things kick off.

As for that whole "they'll be with their little preschool friends" thing, honestly, that shouldn't even factor into the decision (even though every parent I know considers it).

They'll make plenty of new friends once they're in the classroom; what really matters is that the kid is actually ready for the workload so they don't feel totally overwhelmed right out of the gate.

When it comes to the school board, I’d say their verdict is pretty much the final word, and even if you disagree, I'm not sure how much sense it makes to try and fight their ruling.
From everything I've heard from other parents, people are always complaining about kids starting too early, but I have yet to hear a single person regret their child starting school a year later.

Chris Fowler4 said:Hey everyone,

My kid just took his elementary school readiness assessment, and the verdict was that he isn’t quite "ready" for first grade yet. To be fair, he was born right on the cutoff line, so he’ll be among the oldest in the next cohort if we wait. And look, I get it—it makes sense to listen to the experts and just hold him back a year.
But here’s the thing: at his preschool, he’s already made a tight group of friends. We really don't want to rip him away from them, especially since there aren't many kids his age living nearby, and there won't be any in the next grade level either. Plus, the kid is actually genuinely excited to start "big kid" school.
The main sticking point from the testing was his speech; apparently, he isn't perfectly clear yet. As for everything else, he did pretty well—most areas were solid, and some were actually above average.
We’d love for him to move forward, though we aren't trying to force the issue. I don't think he'll fall behind academically because, honestly, he already knows what he needs to know. For instance, he’s got his letters down and can handle addition up to 10 without breaking a sweat.
So, I'm wondering what the options are here. Is the admissions committee the final word on this, or is there a way to present our own arguments and reasoning to convince them that he’s ready to jump in now?

If the biggest issue is his speech, I'd highly recommend seeing a speech therapist and getting him started on some sessions immediately.
Delaying school doesn't really solve much if you aren't actively addressing the underlying reason for the delay.
It’s also worth figuring out exactly what needs work—is it something that can be smoothed over in a couple of months, or is it something that will require a full year of therapy?

I'm assuming he didn't attend a formal preschool program, but maybe check in with his current teachers to see what their take is on holding him back?

Based on my own experience, I’d strongly suggest holding off—even if you have a young child who would be turning 6.5 when they hit first grade...

Speech development and clear pronunciation of all sounds are absolutely critical for first grade; otherwise, you run into a domino effect of other issues. Reading and writing become significantly harder to master if the kid can't distinguish certain sounds or recognize them properly.
You really need to see a speech therapist—ideally twice a week...
Without those skills, word analysis and synthesis—which are vital before starting school—just won't happen.

I dealt with this exact issue with my daughter. We struggled through the entire first grade; we were working with her every single day, she was in after-school programs, and it wasn't until the very end of the year—thanks to constant speech therapy sessions—that she finally reached a normal level.

And that's despite the fact that she was officially assessed as "mature and ready" for school and had even seen a specialist before enrollment...

Those pre-enrollment assessments aren't reliable or accurate. No one can sit down for ten minutes and decide if your child is truly ready or not—parents are the ones who know best.

A friend of mine had a child who was already seven, but given what happened, she would have waited until the child turned eight to enroll. It was nothing but stress, exhaustion, and endless tears throughout first grade. It wasn't until second grade that everything finally clicked and she was actually ready for school. A single year makes a massive difference.

I don't understand why anyone would push a child into something they aren't prepared for. There is plenty of time to go to school, and honestly, it doesn't matter at all whether they start a little earlier or a little later.

Kate Morgan14 said:Based on my own experience, I’d strongly suggest holding off—even if you have a young child who would be turning 6.5 when they hit first grade...

Speech development and clear pronunciation of all sounds are absolutely critical for first grade; otherwise, you run into a domino effect of other issues. Reading and writing become significantly harder to master if the kid can't distinguish certain sounds or recognize them properly.
You really need to see a speech therapist—ideally twice a week...
Without those skills, word analysis and synthesis—which are vital before starting school—just won't happen.

I dealt with this exact issue with my daughter. We struggled through the entire first grade; we were working with her every single day, she was in after-school programs, and it wasn't until the very end of the year—thanks to constant speech therapy sessions—that she finally reached a normal level.

And that's despite the fact that she was officially assessed as "mature and ready" for school and had even seen a specialist before enrollment...

Those pre-enrollment assessments aren't reliable or accurate. No one can sit down for ten minutes and decide if your child is truly ready or not—parents are the ones who know best.

A friend of mine had a child who was already seven, but given what happened, she would have waited until the child turned eight to enroll. It was nothing but stress, exhaustion, and endless tears throughout first grade. It wasn't until second grade that everything finally clicked and she was actually ready for school. A single year makes a massive difference.

I don't understand why anyone would push a child into something they aren't prepared for. There is plenty of time to go to school, and honestly, it doesn't matter at all whether they start a little earlier or a little later.

I mean, who's to say it wouldn't have been even more of an uphill battle if she had started at eight instead? 🤔 Just being a year older doesn't necessarily guarantee things will go smoother; in fact, she might have still needed that extra year, or maybe even more, just to find her footing.

Personally, I feel like seven is a perfectly fine age to start school for any kid without special needs. My cousin ended up starting school at seven and a half rather than six and a half, so he was always the oldest in his class, which isn't exactly a tragedy, but I'll be honest, he’s always carried this sense that he’s a year behind everyone else just because of when he started. His parents kept him home because they didn't think he was mature enough yet, but truthfully, he still hasn't quite caught up, and that was twenty years ago.
🤔

Kate Morgan14 said:Based on my own experience, I’d strongly suggest holding off—even if you have a young child who would be turning 6.5 when they hit first grade...

Speech development and clear pronunciation of all sounds are absolutely critical for first grade; otherwise, you run into a domino effect of other issues. Reading and writing become significantly harder to master if the kid can't distinguish certain sounds or recognize them properly.
You really need to see a speech therapist—ideally twice a week...
Without those skills, word analysis and synthesis—which are vital before starting school—just won't happen.

I dealt with this exact issue with my daughter. We struggled through the entire first grade; we were working with her every single day, she was in after-school programs, and it wasn't until the very end of the year—thanks to constant speech therapy sessions—that she finally reached a normal level.

And that's despite the fact that she was officially assessed as "mature and ready" for school and had even seen a specialist before enrollment...

Those pre-enrollment assessments aren't reliable or accurate. No one can sit down for ten minutes and decide if your child is truly ready or not—parents are the ones who know best.

A friend of mine had a child who was already seven, but given what happened, she would have waited until the child turned eight to enroll. It was nothing but stress, exhaustion, and endless tears throughout first grade. It wasn't until second grade that everything finally clicked and she was actually ready for school. A single year makes a massive difference.

I don't understand why anyone would push a child into something they aren't prepared for. There is plenty of time to go to school, and honestly, it doesn't matter at all whether they start a little earlier or a little later.

I definitely agree that a ten-minute assessment isn't going to give us an accurate picture, but I have to disagree that parents are the ultimate authority on readiness.
From my own experience, I don't think we always have the clearest perspective.
Of course, a parent's opinion matters deeply, but if we are already going through the trouble of scheduling evaluations—and dragging ourselves from local clinics to various school districts—then those assessments really ought to be higher quality.
Plus, most of us end up taking time off work (if not a full day off) just to handle these appointments, which are rarely scheduled at times that actually work for busy families.

Personally, I think more weight should be given to the input from preschool programs, especially if the child attended for more than just that final mandatory year. Though, even that's a bit tricky, since those institutions sometimes feel pressured to "clear out" their rosters to make room for new kids coming in. 🙂

As it stands now, daycare centers are only required to provide feedback for school placement if there's an early enrollment request or if delaying entry is absolutely necessary—usually at the parent's initiative.
To me, that feels insufficient, especially if the parent doesn't proactively push for it.

I really believe these reports should be provided for everyone, particularly because schools with high enrollment numbers often rush through testing in just 10 or 12 minutes.

I actually started school when I was only seven and a half—mostly because I was so tiny physically, and the school district wouldn't let me start any earlier despite my parents' wishes
I always seemed to be the oldest kid in my class while being the smallest... though, honestly, I don't carry any trauma from that at all, it was just how it was
Fast forward to today, and I know for certain I won't be rushing my little one into kindergarten at six and a half—there's absolutely no need to hurry him along

Susan James said:I definitely agree that a ten-minute assessment isn't going to give us an accurate picture, but I have to disagree that parents are the ultimate authority on readiness.
From my own experience, I don't think we always have the clearest perspective.
Of course, a parent's opinion matters deeply, but if we are already going through the trouble of scheduling evaluations—and dragging ourselves from local clinics to various school districts—then those assessments really ought to be higher quality.
Plus, most of us end up taking time off work (if not a full day off) just to handle these appointments, which are rarely scheduled at times that actually work for busy families.

Personally, I think more weight should be given to the input from preschool programs, especially if the child attended for more than just that final mandatory year. Though, even that's a bit tricky, since those institutions sometimes feel pressured to "clear out" their rosters to make room for new kids coming in. 🙂

As it stands now, daycare centers are only required to provide feedback for school placement if there's an early enrollment request or if delaying entry is absolutely necessary—usually at the parent's initiative.
To me, that feels insufficient, especially if the parent doesn't proactively push for it.

I really believe these reports should be provided for everyone, particularly because schools with high enrollment numbers often rush through testing in just 10 or 12 minutes.

Down at our local preschool, they provide a progress report for every single kid finishing up, but they mostly zero in on social-emotional maturity—stuff like how the kid plays in a group, if they’ve been accepted by their peers, and what they’re actually interested in.

Meanwhile, the actual "testing" they do once they get to elementary school only lasts about 1.5 hours, not 10 minutes.

I'm totally with the idea that we should be asking the preschool teachers for their take, but I have to reiterate: if a kid can't pronounce sounds correctly, it's going to be a massive hurdle when they try to learn how to write words, which is basically the foundation of everything in school.
To me, spending a year working with a speech therapist is infinitely more important than the kid being able to walk into class alongside their little buddies, assuming the school doesn't completely miss the mark on detecting speech issues (though parents usually notice too; at 6.5 years old, a child should be speaking clearly, so any slurred sounds, flipped syllables, or messy pronunciation is definitely a red flag).

Back home, we were in and out of testing in 15 minutes.

I know for a fact that my child wasn't actually required to start school this year, but I opted to enroll her early because she was just so incredibly ready and eager to dive into learning. We started when she was 6 years and 4 months old, and honestly, thank goodness we did! Even now, things feel a bit unchallenging for her since she already knows most of the first-grade curriculum. I can't help but wonder what would have happened if we had waited another full year. To claim that you shouldn't send a child to school at 6.5 years old—even if they are completely prepared and genuinely excited about it—just seems like such an unusual perspective to me...

Karen Richardson3 said:Down at our local preschool, they provide a progress report for every single kid finishing up, but they mostly zero in on social-emotional maturity—stuff like how the kid plays in a group, if they’ve been accepted by their peers, and what they’re actually interested in.

Meanwhile, the actual "testing" they do once they get to elementary school only lasts about 1.5 hours, not 10 minutes.

I'm totally with the idea that we should be asking the preschool teachers for their take, but I have to reiterate: if a kid can't pronounce sounds correctly, it's going to be a massive hurdle when they try to learn how to write words, which is basically the foundation of everything in school.
To me, spending a year working with a speech therapist is infinitely more important than the kid being able to walk into class alongside their little buddies, assuming the school doesn't completely miss the mark on detecting speech issues (though parents usually notice too; at 6.5 years old, a child should be speaking clearly, so any slurred sounds, flipped syllables, or messy pronunciation is definitely a red flag).

how it goes ☕
In my experience, one session lasted 12 minutes, then another 5 minutes with her and her dad.

Preschools here, especially in big cities like Chicago, seem to have better access to specialists like psychologists or speech therapists. It feels like the psychologists in these preschool settings have way more testing tools available than the elementary schools do.
At least for now, before they start cutting those budgets.
Plus, they get the benefit of daily observation within the classroom, which I think provides such valuable insight into a child's development.
Our school didn't even ask for the preschool's assessment, even though we had it ready (they basically told us we could bring it along if we felt it was necessary).

It’s actually quite rare for a preschool to proactively suggest a child stay back another year. Unless the parents notice it themselves and speak up, the school rarely initiates that conversation unless things are absolutely hitting the fan.
And honestly, you hear a lot of clichés. They'll say, "Well, everyone else in the group is moving on, so he should too."
Or, "Look how tall he is! Just imagine him in a year."
And parents often hesitate and just enroll them anyway because of that.

At the end of the day, an extra year won't ruin a kid's life. They'll make friends along the way, and even if they happen to be the tallest kid in class, they'll end up with better speech, better fine motor skills for writing, and a much easier time grasping the curriculum...

I'm speaking from experience seeing kids struggle with schoolwork simply because
they weren't truly ready for it. The more they struggle academically, the less happy they become, and that can really take a toll on their social and emotional well-being later on...

Now that I'm navigating this as a parent myself, I can tell you that these school entrance tests are pretty much useless.
(Setting aside the rare exceptions, of course.)

It doesn't surprise me at all that some kids slip right through the cracks without any real analysis—kids who still have the handwriting of a toddler or major speech impediments.

Michelle Nelson4 said:I know for a fact that my child wasn't actually required to start school this year, but I opted to enroll her early because she was just so incredibly ready and eager to dive into learning. We started when she was 6 years and 4 months old, and honestly, thank goodness we did! Even now, things feel a bit unchallenging for her since she already knows most of the first-grade curriculum. I can't help but wonder what would have happened if we had waited another full year. To claim that you shouldn't send a child to school at 6.5 years old—even if they are completely prepared and genuinely excited about it—just seems like such an unusual perspective to me...

Boys and girls are night and day—whether they're 3, 6, 15, or even 30...😬