School closures/delays?

Can we move this discussion about daycare somewhere else please?

Anyway, just wanted to weigh in here.
If the first-grade curriculum is already considered too demanding, then I’m all for just delaying school entirely.
It honestly feels pointless to start formal schooling if taxpayers are footing the bill for kids who can't even keep up with the material in their very first year. It just seems like too much for them.

You have emotional struggles, poor socialization, hygiene issues, speech impediments, motor skill delays, or even learning disabilities—but seriously, is it really just a matter of the "curriculum being too heavy"?

(To be fair, I actually agree when people complain about the weight of backpacks—I mean that literal weight where you pile everything on a scale, shove it in a bag, and basically ruin a kid's spine for life. But that's solved by not bringing books home. As for the idea that the lessons themselves are "overwhelming," I'm just not sure what to make of that.)

Karen Richardson3 said:I honestly don't even know if our daycare even employs a psychologist🤷
and I already posted about my issues regarding individualized attention in that other thread about childcare centers.

My neighbor was actually seeking out a psychologist's opinion because she was second-guessing whether her little guy was ready for kindergarten. She just had this gut feeling he wasn't quite there yet—since his birthday is right at the end of March—so she went looking for a pro.
The kid spent maybe an hour with this specialist, just listening to him and doing whatever he suggested, and then the psychologist basically gave a thumbs up saying the boy is perfectly ready for school.
I genuinely can't wrap my head around how anyone is supposed to reach a meaningful conclusion after spending a measly hour with a child.
It made me think of Frupy and how much she dislikes those school specialist teams. 😁

It's actually pretty straightforward
They use standardized tests and age-appropriate tasks that any kid his age should be able to handle.
On top of that, they look at how he reacts emotionally and note the fact that he's willing to follow directions from a complete stranger.
That’s really all you need to gauge whether he's ready to start first grade or not.
If things don't go well, then you just seek out a second opinion or talk to the preschool's specialist team.

Susan James said:It's actually pretty straightforward
They use standardized tests and age-appropriate tasks that any kid his age should be able to handle.
On top of that, they look at how he reacts emotionally and note the fact that he's willing to follow directions from a complete stranger.
That’s really all you need to gauge whether he's ready to start first grade or not.
If things don't go well, then you just seek out a second opinion or talk to the preschool's specialist team.

I'm curious about one thing, though—isn't that basically how all kids act when they're first starting out?

Honestly, let them deal with it. If kids want to freeze up, feel embarrassed, or just hide away and cry, then let them learn that lesson on their own...

Dana Martin87 said:I honestly believe school readiness should be left entirely to the experts, not parents. Some folks will think their kid is way ahead of where they actually are, while others get overly protective and end up keeping them home until they're eight for no real reason.

I have no clue what the curriculum looks like these days. I remember my elementary years being ridiculously easy. My parents never had to help me with homework because there was just nothing to do. I barely learned anything. I cruised through with straight A's, except for a B in PE. I started school at six and a half, and back then, I couldn't even read or write yet.

My brother started at six and five months, and school was such a breeze for him he barely even realized he was attending class.

And we were going to a school that was famous for being the toughest one in our town.

I don't know why things have changed so much... Even the kids who ended up needing summer school in later grades didn't find first grade that overwhelming. Sure, they weren't all honor roll students, but they still finished those early years with solid B's or C's.

I don't see school as some big scary monster. My daughter was born in February. Assuming everything goes smoothly, she’ll start when she's six and seven months. Anything else would just be unnecessarily late for her, provided she's healthy.

I am in complete agreement with the idea that parents often lack the specific expertise required to judge if their child is truly prepared for the classroom environment.

Regarding that bolded part, it seems to me that what has actually shifted are parental expectations. The standard curriculum is designed for the average student. However, it used to be perfectly normal for many kids to come home with B's or C's, whereas nowadays, it feels like every parent expects nothing less than perfection. There used to be only a handful of honor roll students in a class, which makes sense within our grading system, since honor roll kids aren't exactly "average"—they are either sharper or more hardworking than the norm. But because people today struggle to accept the reality that their precious child might just be an average kid, they create these myths about how "difficult" the curriculum is or how much extra tutoring is needed after school hours. An average child can master the elementary school curriculum without any major struggles. And someone who goes above that average? Well, that's an honor student.

Karen Richardson3 said:I'm curious about one thing, though—isn't that basically how all kids act when they're first starting out?

Like what?
The main thing is observing how they take in instructions and follow directions for a task.
It’s about what they’ll be expected to handle daily, both in the classroom and during extracurricular activities.🤷

The assignments themselves aren't meant to be impossible; the assumption is that any average kid should be able to tackle them.
Beyond just getting the answers right, we look at things like social engagement (starting with some basic small talk, obviously), their emotional responses, focus, attention span, whether they can actually sit still, and how they react when they make a mistake.

It’s really nothing to worry about. A delay in starting school is only considered if there are significant deviations from the norm.
If those gaps aren't glaringly obvious, then delaying enrollment isn't the right call.

(We also gather input from parents regarding what the child has learned so far and how they observe their social interactions with others.)

northerncobra27 said:I am in complete agreement with the idea that parents often lack the specific expertise required to judge if their child is truly prepared for the classroom environment.

Regarding that bolded part, it seems to me that what has actually shifted are parental expectations. The standard curriculum is designed for the average student. However, it used to be perfectly normal for many kids to come home with B's or C's, whereas nowadays, it feels like every parent expects nothing less than perfection. There used to be only a handful of honor roll students in a class, which makes sense within our grading system, since honor roll kids aren't exactly "average"—they are either sharper or more hardworking than the norm. But because people today struggle to accept the reality that their precious child might just be an average kid, they create these myths about how "difficult" the curriculum is or how much extra tutoring is needed after school hours. An average child can master the elementary school curriculum without any major struggles. And someone who goes above that average? Well, that's an honor student.

Yeah... looking back now... In middle school, we maybe had 7 or 8 honor roll kids (if I stretch it, obviously, since my memory isn't perfect). From fifth to eighth grade, there were only three of us (I remember those numbers clearly because we had one total nerd who got straight As, one guy, and then me—we were all just barely scraping by, constantly competing against each other)

By high school, the number of honor students went up. Well, I definitely wasn't one of them. 🤣

We never judged each other based on grades. In middle school, we had this one girl everyone respected because she was genuinely brilliant, even though she usually pulled Bs in the upper grades. She hated studying, but she was a genius at science. She absolutely crushed it there. But when it came to memorizing history? Total disaster. D's and Cs all around. Social studies killed her.

Then there was this girl in high school we all teased for being dim. If a teacher interrupted her while she was answering, she’d have to restart from the very beginning because she had literally memorized every single comma. (Today, she’s a doctor and a researcher). As for me, without being humble, everyone thought I was smart, even though my report card was full of Ds and Fs. Because of that, my teachers specifically targeted me. I had a chemistry teacher who would give Ds to the kids who knew nothing, but she’d intentionally give me an F, saying: "I'll give them a D because they can't do any better, but you *could* do better, and you won't, so I'm always going to demand more from you."

What I'm getting at is... intelligence might matter at first, but eventually, work ethic is what wins.

Susan James said:Like what?
The main thing is observing how they take in instructions and follow directions for a task.
It’s about what they’ll be expected to handle daily, both in the classroom and during extracurricular activities.🤷

The assignments themselves aren't meant to be impossible; the assumption is that any average kid should be able to tackle them.
Beyond just getting the answers right, we look at things like social engagement (starting with some basic small talk, obviously), their emotional responses, focus, attention span, whether they can actually sit still, and how they react when they make a mistake.

It’s really nothing to worry about. A delay in starting school is only considered if there are significant deviations from the norm.
If those gaps aren't glaringly obvious, then delaying enrollment isn't the right call.

(We also gather input from parents regarding what the child has learned so far and how they observe their social interactions with others.)

Honestly, I just misread the whole thing at first. I totally misinterpreted it as being about whether a kid should listen to some complete stranger, which made me think, "Well, duh, obviously most kids aren't going to listen to some random person on the street."
Once Summer posted her follow-up, it clicked for me that everyone else had taken it the same way—it was just one of those silly assumptions you make when you aren't looking closely enough. 😁

Anyway, I don't know, I guess all that context makes it enough. To be fair, I’ve had my own issues with this specific kid since forever, so maybe it’s not even really about them starting school or anything. 😁

And yeah, I'm signing off on what northerncobra27 said.

northerncobra27 said:I am in complete agreement with the idea that parents often lack the specific expertise required to judge if their child is truly prepared for the classroom environment.

Regarding that bolded part, it seems to me that what has actually shifted are parental expectations. The standard curriculum is designed for the average student. However, it used to be perfectly normal for many kids to come home with B's or C's, whereas nowadays, it feels like every parent expects nothing less than perfection. There used to be only a handful of honor roll students in a class, which makes sense within our grading system, since honor roll kids aren't exactly "average"—they are either sharper or more hardworking than the norm. But because people today struggle to accept the reality that their precious child might just be an average kid, they create these myths about how "difficult" the curriculum is or how much extra tutoring is needed after school hours. An average child can master the elementary school curriculum without any major struggles. And someone who goes above that average? Well, that's an honor student.

This hits the nail on the head. 🙏

Parents have become a nightmare.
Every single kid has to be a straight-A student and perfect at everything.
They have to be enrolled in a million extracurriculars, and of course, they have to be the best in every single one of them.
They don't even look at their own children anymore or consider what they actually want or need. It’s all about optics. They just want to be able to brag to the other parents while waiting in the carpool lane that their precious little one has a perfect GPA and is the star of every club.
And this constant whining about delaying school because "the kid isn't ready"? That's just another symptom of modern American parenting. At this rate, I'm just waiting for them to start trying to medicate their kids for no reason. Oh, wait... ☕

David Foster80 said:This hits the nail on the head. 🙏

Parents have become a nightmare.
Every single kid has to be a straight-A student and perfect at everything.
They have to be enrolled in a million extracurriculars, and of course, they have to be the best in every single one of them.
They don't even look at their own children anymore or consider what they actually want or need. It’s all about optics. They just want to be able to brag to the other parents while waiting in the carpool lane that their precious little one has a perfect GPA and is the star of every club.
And this constant whining about delaying school because "the kid isn't ready"? That's just another symptom of modern American parenting. At this rate, I'm just waiting for them to start trying to medicate their kids for no reason. Oh, wait... ☕

Basically, it’s toxic when expectations are sky-high and people think their kid should be exempt from responsibilities for another year...🙏
I won't even pretend to guess if you're some kind of overachiever, though I'll emphasize the "overachiever" part here. 👍

Quote:

Rhino says: Anyway, just wanted to jump in here. If the curriculum for first graders is considered too intense, then honestly, I’m all for just delaying school enrollment altogether. It feels totally pointless to even start schooling them when taxpayers are essentially footing the bill for kids who can't even wrap their heads around the basics in their very first year because they aren't ready yet. Think about it—you've got emotional hurdles, social struggles, messy hygiene habits, speech issues, motor skill delays, lower cognitive levels, or even physical stuff like weight or height, right? But seriously, someone is actually complaining that the coursework is "overwhelming"? (I mean, I totally get being worried about heavy backpacks—like, if you pile up all those textbooks and shove them in a bag, you might end up wrecking a kid's spine for life, though we could just stop bringing books home. But this whole thing about the material being too hard? I really don't get it.)

Rhino, it seems to me like people rarely dare to push back against you on these topics since we've seen so many times how much you actually know your stuff.

But man, that post above is just way too harsh...
For parents like us, who feel like "our little spoiled angel" might benefit from an extra year before starting school, we’re looking at exactly what you listed. If a child is dealing with any of those specific challenges, then naturally, they're going to find the workload—and the social scene—way more taxing than a kid who's already hitting all those developmental milestones. Of course it's harder for them.
Why go out of your way to belittle kids and their parents?

Brian Barnes5 said:Quote:

Rhino says: Anyway, just wanted to jump in here. If the curriculum for first graders is considered too intense, then honestly, I’m all for just delaying school enrollment altogether. It feels totally pointless to even start schooling them when taxpayers are essentially footing the bill for kids who can't even wrap their heads around the basics in their very first year because they aren't ready yet. Think about it—you've got emotional hurdles, social struggles, messy hygiene habits, speech issues, motor skill delays, lower cognitive levels, or even physical stuff like weight or height, right? But seriously, someone is actually complaining that the coursework is "overwhelming"? (I mean, I totally get being worried about heavy backpacks—like, if you pile up all those textbooks and shove them in a bag, you might end up wrecking a kid's spine for life, though we could just stop bringing books home. But this whole thing about the material being too hard? I really don't get it.)

Rhino, it seems to me like people rarely dare to push back against you on these topics since we've seen so many times how much you actually know your stuff.

But man, that post above is just way too harsh...
For parents like us, who feel like "our little spoiled angel" might benefit from an extra year before starting school, we’re looking at exactly what you listed. If a child is dealing with any of those specific challenges, then naturally, they're going to find the workload—and the social scene—way more taxing than a kid who's already hitting all those developmental milestones. Of course it's harder for them.
Why go out of your way to belittle kids and their parents?

I'm sorry you took my post as being dismissive.
Maybe take another look at the discussion and let me know if you have a specific question.

If you check out my other posts in this thread, you'll see I'm always in favor of holding a child back if there are emotional or social issues involved—real things that preschool teachers or admissions specialists can assess. Usually, a simple conversation with an expert is enough to get a clear picture.
That's also true if the child is already working with a specialist or attending therapy for specific needs.

But it's a completely different story when it's just a parent's perception that the workload is too heavy. In those cases, regardless of the child's actual abilities or needs, they want to delay school simply because they think the curriculum is too intense.

I’m keeping a close eye on this whole discussion and checking back on this thread constantly because I really want to stay in the loop.
Just one mom reached out with a pretty vague reason for wanting to hold her kid back.

Personally, my biggest worry is how things like emotional maturity and social skills might play out later on. I keep telling myself that delaying school shouldn't be some massive mistake since he won't be "behind" anyone else—it's not like there's a race. It could honestly just make his life easier, and I can't see it making things harder unless it messes with his ability to handle classroom dynamics, take on responsibilities, or manage being home alone for five hours at a time since we don't have an after-school program. He’s already totally mastered the curriculum, though.
Later this month, I've got a sit-down scheduled with our preschool speech therapist, the child psychologist, and his teachers. I’m definitely going to follow whatever they suggest, no questions asked.

I don't really have any questions right now. I was just venting about how frustrating it is that some doctor over at the school health clinic gets to have the final say without even meeting the kid. It’s wild how they can just override the professional recommendations from the preschool team and the parents' requests like it's nothing.

Brian Barnes5 said:I’m keeping a close eye on this whole discussion and checking back on this thread constantly because I really want to stay in the loop.
Just one mom reached out with a pretty vague reason for wanting to hold her kid back.

Personally, my biggest worry is how things like emotional maturity and social skills might play out later on. I keep telling myself that delaying school shouldn't be some massive mistake since he won't be "behind" anyone else—it's not like there's a race. It could honestly just make his life easier, and I can't see it making things harder unless it messes with his ability to handle classroom dynamics, take on responsibilities, or manage being home alone for five hours at a time since we don't have an after-school program. He’s already totally mastered the curriculum, though.
Later this month, I've got a sit-down scheduled with our preschool speech therapist, the child psychologist, and his teachers. I’m definitely going to follow whatever they suggest, no questions asked.

I don't really have any questions right now. I was just venting about how frustrating it is that some doctor over at the school health clinic gets to have the final say without even meeting the kid. It’s wild how they can just override the professional recommendations from the preschool team and the parents' requests like it's nothing.

True, but because of parents like that—who push for overly demanding curricula—other parents end up looking unrealistic or like they're just riding a trend regarding delaying school.

In my opinion, the key to a successful delay is making sure the child is actually working on something during that extra year. It shouldn't just be "killing time" while waiting for next year; it should be a chance to develop those social skills they haven't quite hit yet, so they grow through that year.
Here is something I wrote earlier:

Susan James said:That article is excellent. Honestly, though, I think delaying school can actually help kids manage stress better and prevent parents from falling into the trap described in the piece.
I don't see extending preschool as a way to create an "easy" life. To me, it's a vital window where children, free from the pressure of schoolwork and extracurriculars, can just be on the playground or at daycare. It's where they practice social skills, learn how to handle anger, sadness, or fear, and figure out how to resolve conflicts with peers and adults. They get to learn without the constant pressure to be "the best" or the looming shadow of having to finish homework, make posters, or meet academic expectations and rankings.

I think if a child isn't emotionally ready for school yet, a parent can easily fall into the trap of overprotecting them compared to other kids. Since the child eventually has to attend school regularly and complete assignments, parents might think, "It's not good for them to stay upset or sad for too long because it might hurt their performance."
So then, the parent either fights those battles for them or prevents them from ever facing them.
It ends up turning a child's natural development into something artificial.

Free play hasn't hindered anyone's development; in fact, kids learn so much through play during these pre-school years. It should be their main activity. I personally wouldn't cut it short or swap it out for a mountain of obligations.
The real issue arises when it doesn't matter if a kid starts school at 5, 6, or 8, because the parent is essentially playing for them and teaching them *how* to play. Or even worse, when they are already overloaded with activities by the time they're three and a half.

In my experience, it’s actually pretty rare for school doctors to ignore the professional opinion of a specialist, especially when it involves a facility where the kids have been receiving specific treatments. Even if they don't immediately agree, most parents I know just head straight out to get a second opinion anyway.

Brian Barnes5 said:I’m keeping a close eye on this whole discussion and checking back on this thread constantly because I really want to stay in the loop.
Just one mom reached out with a pretty vague reason for wanting to hold her kid back.

Personally, my biggest worry is how things like emotional maturity and social skills might play out later on. I keep telling myself that delaying school shouldn't be some massive mistake since he won't be "behind" anyone else—it's not like there's a race. It could honestly just make his life easier, and I can't see it making things harder unless it messes with his ability to handle classroom dynamics, take on responsibilities, or manage being home alone for five hours at a time since we don't have an after-school program. He’s already totally mastered the curriculum, though.
Later this month, I've got a sit-down scheduled with our preschool speech therapist, the child psychologist, and his teachers. I’m definitely going to follow whatever they suggest, no questions asked.

I don't really have any questions right now. I was just venting about how frustrating it is that some doctor over at the school health clinic gets to have the final say without even meeting the kid. It’s wild how they can just override the professional recommendations from the preschool team and the parents' requests like it's nothing.

Wait, how would a school nurse not see the kid? Who else is going to do the exams, take their vitals, or sit down to talk with them and the parents? As far as I know, the school health department handles that 6-month vaccine shot too.

You really need to show up for those appointments with the doctor and the rest of the medical team.

Brian Barnes5 said:I’m keeping a close eye on this whole discussion and checking back on this thread constantly because I really want to stay in the loop.
Just one mom reached out with a pretty vague reason for wanting to hold her kid back.

Personally, my biggest worry is how things like emotional maturity and social skills might play out later on. I keep telling myself that delaying school shouldn't be some massive mistake since he won't be "behind" anyone else—it's not like there's a race. It could honestly just make his life easier, and I can't see it making things harder unless it messes with his ability to handle classroom dynamics, take on responsibilities, or manage being home alone for five hours at a time since we don't have an after-school program. He’s already totally mastered the curriculum, though.
Later this month, I've got a sit-down scheduled with our preschool speech therapist, the child psychologist, and his teachers. I’m definitely going to follow whatever they suggest, no questions asked.

I don't really have any questions right now. I was just venting about how frustrating it is that some doctor over at the school health clinic gets to have the final say without even meeting the kid. It’s wild how they can just override the professional recommendations from the preschool team and the parents' requests like it's nothing.

How can you even suggest this? Have you ever actually raised a six, seven, or eight-year-old?

You have to laugh, honestly, because if you don't have any extra cash lying around, you'll end up stepping on someone else just to get by.

rowdypanther12 said:You have to laugh, honestly, because if you don't have any extra cash lying around, you'll end up stepping on someone else just to get by.

Look, I get that it's sometimes necessary, but if I actually went through with that and someone reported me to Child Protective Services, I’d be in serious trouble.

But things work differently where you are, right? School runs in the morning and ends by the afternoon, so parents in the US don't really have any other choice but to leave their kids home alone once they're out.
Technically, it isn't illegal; you can't leave a preschooler home alone, but once they're old enough for school, it's allowed.

rowdypanther12 said:But things work differently where you are, right? School runs in the morning and ends by the afternoon, so parents in the US don't really have any other choice but to leave their kids home alone once they're out.
Technically, it isn't illegal; you can't leave a preschooler home alone, but once they're old enough for school, it's allowed.

School typically runs from about 8:45 AM until 3:00 PM. It’s rare that anyone working a standard job can make it by 3:00. For elementary students, there are after-school clubs and similar programs that people actually use.
I get it; honestly, it's hard for me to imagine my daughter being left home all afternoon just a year from now! I know we had it different—even though I wasn't six yet, we had this retired neighbor who would look after us in the mornings or afternoons.