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Student-teacher dynamics vs. parent-teacher dynamics

Started by Jessica Howard5 · · 👁 37 views · 874 replies

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Participants Jessica Howard5jadetinker85Andrew Rivera3Sarah James4Linda Price5Nicholas KingJason Ortiz5Peter Doyle2Charles Murphy6rowdypanther12wanderinggardener12Paul Wilson72urbantinker8copperheron18Sean FoxSusan JamesEmily Gonzalez51James Perez54Karen Rodriguez3Kate Cox2rustydrifter10nimblelynx7Karen Richardson3copperpuma11 …
Brenda Booth5 Brenda Booth5 Member
42 messages
joined Jan 2014
#561 ·
Susan James said:What kind of different standards are we talking about?
Most of the parents here have kids in preschool 😬, with only a few in elementary school

And speaking of different standards, a teacher should really be the gold standard for good behavior.
If a teacher acts this way in an elementary school, how can we expect high schoolers to show respect—either to their teachers or to one another?

Just to reiterate: the issue isn't just how calling a kid "stupid" affects that one student, but how it impacts every other child watching. After all, if a teacher thinks it's okay to call someone stupid, why wouldn't a child think the same?😕
How can that teacher—or anyone else on the faculty—maintain any real authority when it's clear that adults "can't help themselves" from acting like this?

By protecting staff members who act this way, a lot of great teachers are actually undermining their own profession.

Hmm, I suppose high schoolers and college students, if we’re being generous...

I’ve dealt with my fair share of messy situations back in Elementary School and High School, and I stepped up just like that boy's mother did when they were truly insulted.
It usually boiled down to some tactless comments during field trips, and I felt I had to march into the school, quite fired up, to say exactly what needed to be said. My only intention was to make sure that particular teacher understood they couldn't behave that way with my child or anyone else's. In my case, it didn't happen again, but I operate on the principle that you have to call someone out on their nonsense—if they're smart, they'll realize that being on their own shouldn't jeopardize their job, which is something I would never demand.

To be more precise, every parent needs to demonstrate that they aren't a pushover, that they stay informed, and that they can work effectively with any teacher who also knows how to maintain that professional standard.
Jose Williams Jose Williams Member
19 messages
joined Sep 2013
#562 ·
Back when I was in 6th or 7th grade, we had this young teacher come in on a long-term sub contract—she was supposed to be there for about two years. It was probably her first real job straight out of college.
At first, we all just noticed how incredibly high-strung she was. Then, things went south because she completely botched the lessons on subjects that actually required some real teaching effort. When the test results came back, everyone in class ended up with grades at least two notches lower than their usual average. We kept reporting these issues to our homeroom teachers, who told us they were talking to her about it.

It all finally hit the fan when she went to test us on that exact material she couldn't even explain properly. She actually called one student stupid, and told another something along the lines of just throwing themselves out a window.
We’d had enough. We huddled up during recess and marched straight to the principal's office. Thankfully, she was fired on the spot.

It’s honestly wild how much one terrible teacher can wreck the vibe of an otherwise great, cooperative class.

I really hope they look into the reason for her firing so she never gets another chance to work with kids.

An educator calling a kid stupid? That's a total failure. Honestly, it's on par with a taxi driver showing up drunk for a shift or a cop walking around casually firing their weapon.

That was the only incident of that scale I ever dealt with throughout Elementary School and High School. I've had all kinds of teachers. And yeah, they make mistakes—everyone does. You can't blame people if they mess up a math equation, show up late to class, have a bad day and deliver a mediocre lecture, or give a wrong answer once in a while.

But someone who can't stop themselves from insulting a student? They simply aren't cut out for this profession.
Brandon Foster7 Brandon Foster7 Active Member
56 messages
joined Dec 2018
#563 ·
Nowadays, when a teacher wants to tell a kid they’re just slow, they sugarcoat it and tell the parents: "Your child is hyperactive."

And everyone’s happy. The dim kid, the overachieving parents, and the frustrated teacher.😉

p.s. This isn't even about the original post, just a random thought that dropped in.

In the original post, the only idiot is the teacher.
Seriously, you can't win against that kind of narrow-mindedness.

Just mess with her: tell her she should have a silhouette like B (perky backside), but instead, she looks like D (big gut).
Chloe Nguyen3 Chloe Nguyen3 Member
40 messages
joined Jul 2003
#564 ·
Brandon Foster7 said:Nowadays, when a teacher wants to tell a kid they’re just slow, they sugarcoat it and tell the parents: "Your child is hyperactive."

And everyone’s happy. The dim kid, the overachieving parents, and the frustrated teacher.😉

p.s. This isn't even about the original post, just a random thought that dropped in.

In the original post, the only idiot is the teacher.
Seriously, you can't win against that kind of narrow-mindedness.

Just mess with her: tell her she should have a silhouette like B (perky backside), but instead, she looks like D (big gut).

??

I mean, we all know what hyperactivity looks like in kids, and back when my little guy was in preschool, people suggested he might be hyperactive, but I never once linked that to him being slow (even though he could be a handful 🙄 ). To me, it was just that he had these massive bursts of energy where he was super "on." Honestly, isn't it basically a fact that hyperactive kids tend to be more intelligent than average? Pretty sure I read that somewhere.
melloworca6 melloworca6 Regular
551 messages
joined May 2010
#565 ·
shadowrider28 said:I find myself in complete agreement😉 because, quite frankly, the School Board shouldn't be handing out "mercy" when it comes to disciplinary actions or other academic interventions. If parents decide to complain or start pleading their case, let them; it is a consequence of such inconsistency. 🥳

So, who decided to start playing favorites, and whose fault is it? 🤷

Are we supposed to just turn a blind eye to teachers insulting students because the administration is too incompetent to discipline problematic kids? (What does that even have to do with the topic?)
Susan James Susan James Veteran
1K messages
joined Jan 2023
#566 ·
melloworca6 said:So, who decided to start playing favorites, and whose fault is it? 🤷

Are we supposed to just turn a blind eye to teachers insulting students because the administration is too incompetent to discipline problematic kids? (What does that even have to do with the topic?)

Not quite. Since the administration knows they have people in their own ranks acting disrespectfully, it would feel incredibly hypocritical to hand out disciplinary measures to a student without also addressing the professor's behavior.
shadowrider28 shadowrider28 Member
10 messages
joined Nov 2010
#567 ·
melloworca6 said:So, who decided to start playing favorites, and whose fault is it? 🤷

Are we supposed to just turn a blind eye to teachers insulting students because the administration is too incompetent to discipline problematic kids? (What does that even have to do with the topic?)

I find myself disinclined to engage in any sort of heated debate, for I have already remarked that I possess a rather clear understanding of exactly where this trajectory is headed. 🙄

While this might seem somewhat tangential to our primary subject, I was merely offering a reflection on that particular comment regarding the existence of double standards.

When one considers the matter of insults, does it not strike you that we are dealing with an entirely subjective landscape? It is a fickle thing, really. For instance, there are those students who perceive a mere letter grade on a transcript as a profound personal affront, a slight against their very character. And what follows? Naturally, the so-called "responsible and conscientious" parents descend upon the school administration, demanding that some grand sense of justice be served. They march in to demand retribution for this perceived injustice—which, in their eyes, is both the grade itself and the insult of receiving it—as if they were litigating a constitutional crisis rather than a mid-term evaluation, wouldn't you agree?☕
Raymond Rivera6 Raymond Rivera6 Member
12 messages
joined Jul 2013
#568 ·
shadowrider28 said:I find myself disinclined to engage in any sort of heated debate, for I have already remarked that I possess a rather clear understanding of exactly where this trajectory is headed. 🙄

While this might seem somewhat tangential to our primary subject, I was merely offering a reflection on that particular comment regarding the existence of double standards.

When one considers the matter of insults, does it not strike you that we are dealing with an entirely subjective landscape? It is a fickle thing, really. For instance, there are those students who perceive a mere letter grade on a transcript as a profound personal affront, a slight against their very character. And what follows? Naturally, the so-called "responsible and conscientious" parents descend upon the school administration, demanding that some grand sense of justice be served. They march in to demand retribution for this perceived injustice—which, in their eyes, is both the grade itself and the insult of receiving it—as if they were litigating a constitutional crisis rather than a mid-term evaluation, wouldn't you agree?☕

If you don't want to engage in a debate and if you already knew how this would play out, then the simple solution is to just skip it rather than throwing stones from the sidelines. It's quite straightforward.
I didn't start this thread to smear the entire teaching profession; I opened it because I was facing a problem and wanted to hear some independent perspectives.
There is nothing subjective about the insult directed at my child. It truly saddens me that someone in your profession—which I assume you are—equates a teacher asking "are you stupid?" with a final grade. Based on that, I can only assume you either think I'm lying, which would be the better alternative, or that you find such behavior perfectly normal. If it's the latter, that's deeply concerning, as it only invites more chaos within this sector.
In any case, I certainly don't envy the students you teach.
shadowrider28 shadowrider28 Member
10 messages
joined Nov 2010
#569 ·
Raymond Rivera6 said:If you don't want to engage in a debate and if you already knew how this would play out, then the simple solution is to just skip it rather than throwing stones from the sidelines. It's quite straightforward.
I didn't start this thread to smear the entire teaching profession; I opened it because I was facing a problem and wanted to hear some independent perspectives.
There is nothing subjective about the insult directed at my child. It truly saddens me that someone in your profession—which I assume you are—equates a teacher asking "are you stupid?" with a final grade. Based on that, I can only assume you either think I'm lying, which would be the better alternative, or that you find such behavior perfectly normal. If it's the latter, that's deeply concerning, as it only invites more chaos within this sector.
In any case, I certainly don't envy the students you teach.

I wasn't actually referring to your opening post, but rather to those specific comments that generally target anyone involved in protest movements; it is always the same handful of users (who regularly post on similar topics) using your situation merely as a smokescreen to lash out at the same old targets. That is all there is to it, and I shall now withdraw from this discussion.
Samuel James2 Samuel James2 Newcomer
7 messages
joined Apr 2010
#570 ·
My class went through something pretty similar back in sophomore year of high school. We were in a vocational program, so we did all our shop work right there in the school workshop, split into two different groups. The teacher for the other group was honestly amazing—she’d been teaching them for three years straight, and they only just got a new instructor this fourth year. But my group? Man, we basically changed teachers every single year. In freshman year, we had an awesome instructor, but in the second year... oh boy, let me tell you.

That woman was constantly screaming at us. There were only 12 of us in the group, but because she gave everyone different instructions for sewing, everyone was doing something completely different. Naturally, by the end of the project, half the class had failed because she’d given them wrong directions in the first place. And if we actually tried to point out her mistakes? She’d just snap that she never told us to do it that way.

Not everyone knew how to use the industrial serger, so she’d spend her time yelling at the beginners who didn't get it yet, then tell the students who *did* know how to go over and help them. She actually ordered me to do that once, so I asked another student to run the machine for me—but the serger ended up jamming or something. And man, did she lose it! I don't even know who she was more mad at, the girl she made cry or me. She started going off about how I was always trying to get other people to do my work—which wasn't even true, mind you, it was literally her direct order!—and just kept ranting. Luckily, another girl helped me figure out how to use it during lunch break.

By the end of the first semester, she totally tanked our grades. I ended up with a C, even though I had three Bs on my record. Her excuse? She claimed I was being too dependent on her and that I was constantly begging for help, so she gave me a C. But then, when you don't ask for her help and instead ask a classmate or try to do it yourself—only to have it turn out wrong because of her bad instructions—she screams about why we aren't asking her.

One time, we were doing some projects for the school district, and they promised us all As, but those As never showed up. I don't even know if she ever recorded them, but she definitely knew how to hand out Fs.

She was insanely jealous of the teacher who taught my group during freshman year. Once we realized our current instructor was giving us bad info, we’d sneakily ask the old teacher for the correct way to do things whenever she was nearby. She’d give us the right answer, but as soon as our current instructor caught us, she’d start shrieking about how we shouldn't be running to other teachers while she’s supposed to be supervising our shop time, and she'd threaten us with failing grades.

She even gave one girl two Fs just because she didn't like the way she looked.😕

She barely even watched what we were doing or checked her own demonstrations. It wasn't unusual for someone to follow her instructions perfectly, only to realize they’d cut two left sleeves or two right sleeves and had to rip the whole thing apart. It slowed everything down so much, making our projects take way longer than they should have. I remember asking her once if she was absolutely sure she showed us the right way, and she just insisted she was.😕

We complained to our homeroom teacher constantly, but nothing ever happened. She was clearly on the instructor's side. I remember complaining to her once about how the shop teacher was always yelling, and she just shrugged and said, "Well, that student is just getting under her skin." Seriously? If someone got under *my* skin and I started yelling at teachers, I’d be in massive trouble.

I eventually went to the principal with my mom to lay out the whole situation, only for the principal to tell me, "That can't be right, she's an expert."🙄 Though, she did promise she'd have a talk with her about the yelling.

After that, my homeroom teacher actually pulled me aside and asked why I went to the principal and "told lies" about the teacher in front of the whole class.

The instructor calmed down a little after that, but it wasn't a real fix. Honestly, I wouldn't be surprised if she bought her degree somewhere.

I just needed to vent, I guess.

Raymond Rivera6, I really hope things settle down for you. That teacher of yours deserved at least a formal warning before being fired, but apparently, they're untouchable (just like the one in my story).
Raymond Rivera6 Raymond Rivera6 Member
12 messages
joined Jul 2013
#571 ·
shadowrider28 said:I wasn't actually referring to your opening post, but rather to those specific comments that generally target anyone involved in protest movements; it is always the same handful of users (who regularly post on similar topics) using your situation merely as a smokescreen to lash out at the same old targets. That is all there is to it, and I shall now withdraw from this discussion.

Look, it's not as if everything in the education system is perfect; there is plenty of room for valid criticism. It's the same in my own field, banking (where we're all just thieves, right?), or in medicine with doctors looking for kickbacks... Pointing out flaws and being blunt is just a way to show when something isn't working. It shouldn't be taken personally, nor should any profession be treated like some untouchable, sacred guild. If someone in my sector embezzles money, I certainly won't be standing by them or making excuses for their behavior. A fundamental failure occurred, and there is simply no justification for it.
But I suppose we've wandered far from the original point. Thanks to everyone for the comments.
wanderingbadger44 wanderingbadger44 Active Member
215 messages
joined Feb 2023
#572 ·
shadowrider28 said:
It’s like when you’re trying to find the right rhythm in a song, only to realize the melody was there all along if you just listened a little closer. It’s like when you’re watching a slow-burn drama on Netflix, where every single detail seems to matter more than the actual plot, and then suddenly everything shifts and you realize you were looking at the wrong thing entirely.
Those self-proclaimed intellectuals really think they have it all figured out, don't they? It’s almost like watching someone try to explain how a car works while they're still struggling to tie their own shoelaces. 😢 It’s a heavy burden they carry, especially since it feels like nobody truly takes the time to understand what they’re going through. It’s just heartbreaking, really—Bubba!

It never occurs to people that little Isaac’s mom was likely working an eight-hour shift behind the counter at the local CVS that day, dealing with the stress of rising sugar prices and tiny snack portions while being expected to maintain a beaming, customer-service smile. She had to patiently listen to every lonely retiree who just needed someone to talk to, all while her hands moved like lightning and she kept one eye on her manager, who was hovering constantly looking for any excuse to write her up. By the end of it, she had absolutely nothing left in the tank to offer anyone else's feelings. Then you have little Mary’s dad, who spends his entire life grinding away at some massive corporation like Lockheed Martin for a paycheck that barely covers his mortgage and utility bills after he's put in a dozen hours of overtime. He spends his days swallowing his pride and taking heat from a boss who happens to be the owner's son—a guy who couldn't manage his way out of a paper bag but gets all the credit while her father does both of their jobs just to keep his head above water. Honestly, you could write a tragic short story about almost anyone living in this broken country.

Nobody ever claims that working in education is an easy path, but I don't think it's inherently more grueling than any other profession out there—everyone faces their own unique set of hurdles, just in different ways. In many cases, if you look closely at the specific pressures teachers face, it can actually feel quite a bit more demanding than what someone might encounter in a corporate office or a specialized trade.

When it comes to that whole "street racing" mentality applied to picking a career, it’s honestly heartbreaking to see how much people tend to look down on other professions. It feels like there's this constant push to only value high-octane, flashy roles, which ends up treating every other essential vocation like it's somehow less significant than it truly is.
I always find myself drawn to threads like this, just sitting back and taking in everyone's perspectives. There is something really grounding about reading through posts like these; it's a bit like finding a quiet corner in a busy coffee shop where you can just listen to the world go by and soak up all that shared wisdom.

I’m really starting to feel like my entire career is just being a glorified babysitter. It seems like, in the eyes of most parents, I’m nothing more than a retail clerk at a CVS who exists solely to be a punching bag for their frustrations. But honestly, that isn't quite fair—a cashier at least has a legitimate reason to expect some basic decency, whereas I’m stuck playing the role of a mindless little robot, despite the fact that I actually have more degrees than the person behind the counter. I pull in a decent salary too, so if I can't at least demand a shred of respect, I don't know what the point of any of this is.

I honestly don't feel any need to show respect or give my consideration to people who couldn't care less about the quality of education or upbringing their own children receive, because at the end of the day, that lack of concern says everything you need to know about their true character.

I don't even take my car to the mechanic with that attitude of, "Here’s the keys—now make it perfect, make it fast, and give me the best price you can swing." Instead, I usually just say, "Hey, look, I really need this thing back as soon as possible because I'm stuck without a ride, so if there's any way you could help me out on the cost and get it done quickly, I'd truly appreciate it."

A lot of parents drop their kids off at school with this unshakable belief that it’s the one place where they’re truly looked after—where they're safe, kept warm, fed, and supervised by someone who actually takes responsibility for them, even if the parents aren't footing the bill for every single meal. Before anyone starts jumping down my throat, I’ll just say it: that’s exactly how it ought to be.

They seem to be incredibly sensitive to even the slightest bit of academic criticism from a teacher, which feels like a massive contradiction when you consider how they react to everything else. It’s as if they can brush off the most horrific peer bullying—ranging from blatant physical aggression to those subtle, cutting social manipulations that can destroy a kid's spirit—but the second an instructor offers a correction or even just gives them a stern look, it's treated like a catastrophic injustice.

It feels like teachers only suddenly remember they hold positions of authority when some other kid gets hurt, acting as if it’s their sacred duty to step in and protect everyone else at any cost—except, of course, when it comes to protecting their own students.

I’ve always felt that when you look at a little troublemaker like Isaac, you have to consider the environment he's growing up in. In this case, his mother works as a teller at a local bank, and she carries this intense, high-strung energy from her job straight into the home. It’s like a chain reaction where she passes all that stress down to Isaac, and then he just ends up venting all that pressure onto his own little sister. ☕ We really need to look out for little Isaac; he’s going through a lot right now. It’s tough when you're dealing with a kid who acts like some little corporate manager, acting all high and mighty just because they sense your child is feeling neglected while you're stuck working overtime to provide.

I find myself drawn to discussions like this one, almost like a way to clear my head before diving back into the grind. Engaging with these topics actually gives me a strange sort of fuel to go out and craft those perfect lesson plans, tailored extracurricular activities, and individualized learning paths that look so good on paper. It makes the tedious stuff—the incident reports, the formal memos, the endless documentation of every little measure taken—feel just a bit more manageable. Once all that's done, I can just sit there and watch the clock, waiting for that final bell to ring. To be honest, I’ve accepted my role as just a small, weary light in the eyes of parents and a cog in the bureaucratic machine. Why push myself to be anything more than that when my paycheck is guaranteed, even if it is practically the lowest in the country relative to what we actually do for the sake of education? As long as my paperwork is flawless and I keep nodding along to whatever the parents need, I'm doing my job. 🥳
wanderingbadger44 wanderingbadger44 Active Member
215 messages
joined Feb 2023
#573 ·
Oops, I completely forgot to mention the most important part. After diving into topics like this, I find myself standing firmly behind the trio like a stone wall while my mom cries and pulls her hair out in frustration. Suddenly, I’ve transformed from someone just worrying about paperwork and minor details into the person holding the keys to my child's entire future. To me, that strategic move—turning a three into a four by the end of the year—is like a masterstroke, a way to open the door to a much brighter path for my little one. You might wonder why I’ve become so rigid and bureaucratic about it, but honestly, when you look at it through the lens of providing a better life, it's hard to see it any other way. ☕
melloworca6 melloworca6 Regular
551 messages
joined May 2010
#574 ·
shadowrider28 said:I find myself disinclined to engage in any sort of heated debate, for I have already remarked that I possess a rather clear understanding of exactly where this trajectory is headed. 🙄

While this might seem somewhat tangential to our primary subject, I was merely offering a reflection on that particular comment regarding the existence of double standards.

When one considers the matter of insults, does it not strike you that we are dealing with an entirely subjective landscape? It is a fickle thing, really. For instance, there are those students who perceive a mere letter grade on a transcript as a profound personal affront, a slight against their very character. And what follows? Naturally, the so-called "responsible and conscientious" parents descend upon the school administration, demanding that some grand sense of justice be served. They march in to demand retribution for this perceived injustice—which, in their eyes, is both the grade itself and the insult of receiving it—as if they were litigating a constitutional crisis rather than a mid-term evaluation, wouldn't you agree?☕

shadowrider28 said:I wasn't actually referring to your opening post, but rather to those specific comments that generally target anyone involved in protest movements; it is always the same handful of users (who regularly post on similar topics) using your situation merely as a smokescreen to lash out at the same old targets. That is all there is to it, and I shall now withdraw from this discussion.

Wait, where on earth was the entire profession being trashed? 🤷

The criticism was aimed at that specific teacher, and honestly, they deserved it. Look, nobody should be allowed to call someone stupid at work, and management shouldn't just turn a blind eye to that kind of behavior.

It’s funny to me that this teacher is trying to justify it by saying insults are subjective. I wonder if we’d accept the same excuses from a waiter snapping at a customer, a cashier insulting a shopper, some clerk at the DMV calling people idiots for bringing the wrong paperwork, or a doctor or nurse being rude to patients.

And what double standards are you talking about? Just because you don't discipline problematic students for whatever reason doesn't mean we should tolerate staff acting like this. Go try working at a private prep school and see how long it takes before you're fired for calling a student stupid.

I can't believe people actually defend this stuff. 🙄 Then everyone acts surprised when people start losing respect for teachers.
wanderingbadger44 wanderingbadger44 Active Member
215 messages
joined Feb 2023
#575 ·
melloworca6 said:Wait, where on earth was the entire profession being trashed? 🤷

The criticism was aimed at that specific teacher, and honestly, they deserved it. Look, nobody should be allowed to call someone stupid at work, and management shouldn't just turn a blind eye to that kind of behavior.

It’s funny to me that this teacher is trying to justify it by saying insults are subjective. I wonder if we’d accept the same excuses from a waiter snapping at a customer, a cashier insulting a shopper, some clerk at the DMV calling people idiots for bringing the wrong paperwork, or a doctor or nurse being rude to patients.

And what double standards are you talking about? Just because you don't discipline problematic students for whatever reason doesn't mean we should tolerate staff acting like this. Go try working at a private prep school and see how long it takes before you're fired for calling a student stupid.

I can't believe people actually defend this stuff. 🙄 Then everyone acts surprised when people start losing respect for teachers.

You might want to take a moment to actually read through the thread before jumping in.

shadowrider28 says:
People were coming for that professor, but honestly, they had every right to be upset. I’m sorry if it sounds harsh, but in any professional American workplace, you shouldn't just sit there and let someone call a colleague stupid; it's like letting a teammate get insulted on the field—you can't just look the other way when someone crosses that line.
People were just tearing her to pieces without any hesitation at all.

It’s easy to overlook how much weight those words carry, because she didn't just call the kid stupid—she framed it as a choice, asking if they actually lack intelligence or if they're just playing dumb to act cool. And honestly, you see that all the time with kids; there's a certain type of teenager who thinks acting clueless is the ultimate way to be trendy or untouchable.

It was honestly pretty surreal watching her completely miss the mark and accidentally let the whole truth slip out right in front of the entire class.

You could easily argue that she made a mistake by taking that step, especially since the whole situation is unfolding so beautifully now, yet at the same time, it feels just as though she never did it at all.
melloworca6 melloworca6 Regular
551 messages
joined May 2010
#576 ·
So you think this is actually okay?

What if she’d said that to a kid with special needs? Like, "is he a little slow or just retarded?" Is that acceptable too? Some kids just act silly sometimes. 🤷

The absolute bare minimum would have been an apology. Why does she need a damn monument built for it? 😕 She’s lucky she doesn't work at a private school; I bet she wouldn't even get the chance to explain herself there. Go spend some time in the private sector sometime. See how much tolerance employers actually have for those kinds of comments directed at clients or customers...

edit: It's funny how you expect everyone to be understanding of you and respect the profession, yet you turn around and make excuses for people like this instead of distancing yourself from them.
wanderingbadger44 wanderingbadger44 Active Member
215 messages
joined Feb 2023
#577 ·
melloworca6 said:So you think this is actually okay?

What if she’d said that to a kid with special needs? Like, "is he a little slow or just retarded?" Is that acceptable too? Some kids just act silly sometimes. 🤷

The absolute bare minimum would have been an apology. Why does she need a damn monument built for it? 😕 She’s lucky she doesn't work at a private school; I bet she wouldn't even get the chance to explain herself there. Go spend some time in the private sector sometime. See how much tolerance employers actually have for those kinds of comments directed at clients or customers...

edit: It's funny how you expect everyone to be understanding of you and respect the profession, yet you turn around and make excuses for people like this instead of distancing yourself from them.

What exactly am I supposed to find fault with here? She acted too quickly because she didn't have all the facts—regardless of whose fault that was—she talked it out with her mother, realized she messed up, and then had the guts to apologize in front of the whole class.

To me, that sounds like a perfectly reasonable way to handle a mistake.
crimsongull20 crimsongull20 Active Member
84 messages
joined May 2004
#578 ·
Raymond Rivera6 said:I’m looking for some advice because I’m honestly so livid right now that I probably can’t think straight or be objective.
So, my son just started 5th grade. He moved from an elementary school to a middle school, which meant new subjects and new teachers, but everything was going fine for the most part. Back in 1st grade, we noticed some issues with his reading and writing—various tests, speech therapists, psychologists—until they finally diagnosed him with dyslexia in 2nd grade. That’s when our real battle began. It’s been constant daily practice and an incredible amount of effort on his part, but I can finally say those hurdles are mostly behind us. He reads technically well; when he writes quickly, he might make a tiny mistake here or there, but it’s negligible.
He came home from school last night and told me his English teacher called him stupid, and now he doesn't even want to talk about it. Now, I don't necessarily assume he's lying, but I suppose there's a possibility he misheard her—maybe she was just reprimanding him and he thought she was questioning his intelligence. I am desperately hoping it was just a misunderstanding. I’ve already reached out to a few parents whose kids he gets along with, asking them to see if their children heard what actually happened. And this is what happened: she called him up to the board to write something, and he swapped the letters 'b' and 'd' in two places. She told him to look closely and correct the error. He looked, didn't catch the mistake, and then she asked him if he was actually stupid or just pretending to be.
I've decided today that I need to go to the school, but I have no idea where to start. Should I go speak to her directly first? Should I go to the homeroom teacher or the principal? Do I actually have the right to make a massive scene over this, or am I overreacting by feeling like she humiliated my child in front of the entire class?
Any thoughts would be appreciated.

Talk to her. Explain how that affected him and tell her you expect it never to happen again. Asking "Are you deaf?" or "Are you stupid?" isn't how you talk to a student, especially at that age, under those circumstances, and with that diagnosis.

If there's more trouble, go to the principal.
wanderingbadger44 wanderingbadger44 Active Member
215 messages
joined Feb 2023
#579 ·
melloworca6 said:So you think this is actually okay?

What if she’d said that to a kid with special needs? Like, "is he a little slow or just retarded?" Is that acceptable too? Some kids just act silly sometimes. 🤷

The absolute bare minimum would have been an apology. Why does she need a damn monument built for it? 😕 She’s lucky she doesn't work at a private school; I bet she wouldn't even get the chance to explain herself there. Go spend some time in the private sector sometime. See how much tolerance employers actually have for those kinds of comments directed at clients or customers...

edit: It's funny how you expect everyone to be understanding of you and respect the profession, yet you turn around and make excuses for people like this instead of distancing yourself from them.

Why don't you go ahead and finish your degree, pass all those certification exams, and then come try your luck teaching in a public school? You can enjoy our exact salary, those three months of summer break, and all the perks people love to talk about regarding our four-hour workdays. I’m certainly not stopping you.😉
Kevin Bailey2 Kevin Bailey2 Regular
265 messages
joined Jul 2012
#580 ·
If I were 100% certain she actually called my kid stupid, I’d look her dead in the eye and say: "You're an idiot, you're backward, you're uneducated, your parenting is a total disaster, and you don't deserve anything better than working a shovel in a coal mine for a handful of rice."
Then I’d just smile and ask her how she’s feeling in that moment.

What a load of crap. "It happens to everyone."
Give me a break. She should be fired on the spot.

What other opportunity? What are you guys even talking about?
In my line of work, if a client is being a complete jerk to you, you don't have the right to snap back at them—let alone call a child stupid just because they swapped two letters in a word.

Move everything into the private sector. Every bit of it. Then maybe people will think twice about who's paying their bills.

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