Student-teacher dynamics vs. parent-teacher dynamics

wanderingbadger44 said:Why don't you go ahead and finish your degree, pass all those certification exams, and then come try your luck teaching in a public school? You can enjoy our exact salary, those three months of summer break, and all the perks people love to talk about regarding our four-hour workdays. I’m certainly not stopping you.😉

This is the classic comeback my friend—who happens to be a high school math teacher—uses whenever someone complains about her "easy" four-hour workdays. It hits the nail on the head every single time...

wanderingbadger44 said:Why don't you go ahead and finish your degree, pass all those certification exams, and then come try your luck teaching in a public school? You can enjoy our exact salary, those three months of summer break, and all the perks people love to talk about regarding our four-hour workdays. I’m certainly not stopping you.😉

So, you think it's perfectly fine to ask a twelve-year-old kid, "Are you deaf or just stupid?"...

wanderingbadger44 said:Why don't you go ahead and finish your degree, pass all those certification exams, and then come try your luck teaching in a public school? You can enjoy our exact salary, those three months of summer break, and all the perks people love to talk about regarding our four-hour workdays. I’m certainly not stopping you.😉

Where exactly did I say any of the things you're accusing me of?

If I actually wanted to be a teacher, I would've finished my extra credits and gone into teaching. 😉 Thanks, but no thanks—that career path doesn't interest me, especially not in this economy.

Tick said:How old are you? Like, twenty? It’s obvious you’ve never actually stood in front of a classroom of thirty kids. You clearly have zero clue what’s really happening in schools or what those "perfect" students are actually saying to their teachers behind closed doors. And that's not even the half of it. Then there’s the parent-teacher conferences and the endless emails where entitled parents come crawling in to complain about a failing grade their kid earned. Because, heaven forbid, their precious little angel is actually smart and it's impossible they didn't know the material.

Once again, you have no idea what you're talking about. 🙂

Right... at my age, I've dealt with clients who make your "dangerous" and entitled parents look like toddlers. They wouldn't even be in the same league as people who spend 24 hours a day breathing down my neck.

crimsongull20 said:So, you think it's perfectly fine to ask a twelve-year-old kid, "Are you deaf or just stupid?"...

I'm struggling to see how your interpretation connects back to anything I actually said in my original post.

wanderingbadger44 said:I'm struggling to see how your interpretation connects back to anything I actually said in my original post.

Not necessarily... just asking. You were responding to someone else who brought up the need for decent communication in a completely different field.

Could we please get the title corrected? The teacher actually questioned whether the child was pretending to be dim, rather than just asking—she flat-out stated that they really are just stupid.
☕

I mean, look, if a kid is pulling straight A's across the board, then we're clearly looking at a case of pure teacher bias, a massive failure in the school system, or something else entirely going on behind the scenes.
It’s just impossible for a child to be truly "stupid." People only start becoming foolish once they hit the real world; until they graduate, they're just little, innocent kids doing their best.

Michael Davis9 said:Could we please get the title corrected? The teacher actually questioned whether the child was pretending to be dim, rather than just asking—she flat-out stated that they really are just stupid.
☕

I mean, look, if a kid is pulling straight A's across the board, then we're clearly looking at a case of pure teacher bias, a massive failure in the school system, or something else entirely going on behind the scenes.
It’s just impossible for a child to be truly "stupid." People only start becoming foolish once they hit the real world; until they graduate, they're just little, innocent kids doing their best.

Are you a teacher too? Do you even know what dyslexia is? 😢

Look, there are stupid professors out there too. I had a math teacher back in the day who was so incompetent I couldn't tell if she was genuinely dim or just playing dumb. 😁 In all honesty, the woman was as clueless as they come. She had zero grasp of math; she probably only passed her exams because someone pulled strings for her or she used other methods to get ahead.

There are plenty of idiots in management positions, too. Do you walk up to your boss and call them stupid? Or is it only socially acceptable when it involves children because they can't really defend themselves?

Michael Davis9 said:Could we please get the title corrected? The teacher actually questioned whether the child was pretending to be dim, rather than just asking—she flat-out stated that they really are just stupid.
☕

I mean, look, if a kid is pulling straight A's across the board, then we're clearly looking at a case of pure teacher bias, a massive failure in the school system, or something else entirely going on behind the scenes.
It’s just impossible for a child to be truly "stupid." People only start becoming foolish once they hit the real world; until they graduate, they're just little, innocent kids doing their best.

Sure, you can ask your own kid, "Are you playing dumb?" Or maybe throw it at a student during an informal field trip... but saying that in a classroom isn't exactly professional communication.

Michael Davis9 said:Could we please get the title corrected? The teacher actually questioned whether the child was pretending to be dim, rather than just asking—she flat-out stated that they really are just stupid.
☕

I mean, look, if a kid is pulling straight A's across the board, then we're clearly looking at a case of pure teacher bias, a massive failure in the school system, or something else entirely going on behind the scenes.
It’s just impossible for a child to be truly "stupid." People only start becoming foolish once they hit the real world; until they graduate, they're just little, innocent kids doing their best.

Since when is it a teacher's job to judge whether a student is stupid?

Their job is just to grade the current knowledge level, period.

Whether that knowledge comes from hard work or actual genius isn't their concern.
A teacher's opinion on someone's intelligence doesn't really matter to anyone else, I suppose.

melloworca6 said:Are you a teacher too? Do you even know what dyslexia is? 😢

Look, there are stupid professors out there too. I had a math teacher back in the day who was so incompetent I couldn't tell if she was genuinely dim or just playing dumb. 😁 In all honesty, the woman was as clueless as they come. She had zero grasp of math; she probably only passed her exams because someone pulled strings for her or she used other methods to get ahead.

There are plenty of idiots in management positions, too. Do you walk up to your boss and call them stupid? Or is it only socially acceptable when it involves children because they can't really defend themselves?

No. Yes.
Quincy:

Look, let’s be honest—even in academia, you run into professors who just don't seem to have their act together. I had this one math teacher back in high school who was a total nightmare. Honestly, I couldn't tell if she actually struggled with basic calculations or if she was just playing dumb to avoid explaining things properly, but either way, it was frustrating! I didn't want to be that student who calls her out for being incompetent, but man, there were days when I really wanted to ask her, "Are you actually struggling with this, or are you just pretending?" 😁 Honestly, that woman is completely clueless; she wouldn't know math if it hit her in the face. It feels like she probably only scraped through her exams because someone pulled some strings for her or she used other ways to get ahead. Does anyone else deal with bosses who are just... well, let's call them "intellectually challenged"? I’ve been wondering lately if we actually tell them how clueless they are, or if we just bite our tongues like we do when kids are acting out. I mean, you can't exactly be blunt with a toddler because they lack the capacity to defend themselves, but when it comes to a supervisor making nonsensical decisions, the rules seem different. Is it ever okay to call out that level of stupidity, or are we all just playing along to keep the peace?

Look, I’ve definitely dealt with my fair share of dim-witted professors myself—though, to be fair, they weren't necessarily dishonest, just lacking that spark of intelligence. But obviously, I don't go around walking through the halls telling people they're stupid. In this specific situation, I'm certainly not trying to defend the professor here.

I’m going to focus my comments on the second half of the title—specifically, how teachers in general approach their students. If we just sit here debating that one English teacher's specific mistakes, I don't think this discussion really gains any traction. It's pretty obvious she messed up, but let's look at the bigger picture.
Well, if that's the case, you probably shouldn't have gone with such an ambiguous headline in the first place!

crimsongull20 said:Sure, you can ask your own kid, "Are you playing dumb?" Or maybe throw it at a student during an informal field trip... but saying that in a classroom isn't exactly professional communication.

You know, it’s entirely possible that you’re dealing with someone who was once a total wunderkind—someone calm, reliable, and always pulling straight A's—only to suddenly start making incredibly questionable decisions out of nowhere. In a situation like that, asking them, "Are you just pretending to be stupid?" actually makes perfect sense. Since we already know the kid isn't actually dim-witted, the only logical conclusion left is that they're putting on an act.

melloworca6 said:Are you a teacher too? Do you even know what dyslexia is? 😢

Look, there are stupid professors out there too. I had a math teacher back in the day who was so incompetent I couldn't tell if she was genuinely dim or just playing dumb. 😁 In all honesty, the woman was as clueless as they come. She had zero grasp of math; she probably only passed her exams because someone pulled strings for her or she used other methods to get ahead.

There are plenty of idiots in management positions, too. Do you walk up to your boss and call them stupid? Or is it only socially acceptable when it involves children because they can't really defend themselves?

What are you suggesting here—that we should brand kids with dyslexia on their foreheads or something?

Look, I’m probably going to stir up an argument by saying this, but I truly believe that when a child lives with dyslexia, they become aware of it; if their parents have taught them to embrace their neurodivergence, that kid can walk into a fifth-grade classroom and calmly say, "I'm sorry, I can't see where I went wrong because my dyslexia makes reading difficult." ☕

The original post actually explains things quite clearly: the teacher pointed out a mistake and asked him to fix it. It’s not like she walked up to him and called him stupid just because he missed a mark.

If a student has been dealing with dyslexia for a while, they’ve likely faced these hurdles many times before, much like how someone learns to navigate a constant obstacle in their daily path. They learn to manage it. If the kid just sat there staring blankly after she pointed out the error, it’s easy to see why she might have misinterpreted that silence as him acting like he didn't understand.

That being said, she shouldn't have gone there.

I’m just pointing out that having dyslexia doesn't make a student slow or incapable of communicating. ☕

crimsongull20 said:Sure, you can ask your own kid, "Are you playing dumb?" Or maybe throw it at a student during an informal field trip... but saying that in a classroom isn't exactly professional communication.

Well, oops. I actually told a student just a few days ago that they were acting stupid.
The truth is, they really *were* playing dumb, and they were doing it specifically to entertain the rest of the class.

Apparently, I should have just asked for my walking papers right then and there.

Michael Davis9 said:No. Yes.
Quincy:

Look, let’s be honest—even in academia, you run into professors who just don't seem to have their act together. I had this one math teacher back in high school who was a total nightmare. Honestly, I couldn't tell if she actually struggled with basic calculations or if she was just playing dumb to avoid explaining things properly, but either way, it was frustrating! I didn't want to be that student who calls her out for being incompetent, but man, there were days when I really wanted to ask her, "Are you actually struggling with this, or are you just pretending?" 😁 Honestly, that woman is completely clueless; she wouldn't know math if it hit her in the face. It feels like she probably only scraped through her exams because someone pulled some strings for her or she used other ways to get ahead. Does anyone else deal with bosses who are just... well, let's call them "intellectually challenged"? I’ve been wondering lately if we actually tell them how clueless they are, or if we just bite our tongues like we do when kids are acting out. I mean, you can't exactly be blunt with a toddler because they lack the capacity to defend themselves, but when it comes to a supervisor making nonsensical decisions, the rules seem different. Is it ever okay to call out that level of stupidity, or are we all just playing along to keep the peace?

Look, I’ve definitely dealt with my fair share of dim-witted professors myself—though, to be fair, they weren't necessarily dishonest, just lacking that spark of intelligence. But obviously, I don't go around walking through the halls telling people they're stupid. In this specific situation, I'm certainly not trying to defend the professor here.

I’m going to focus my comments on the second half of the title—specifically, how teachers in general approach their students. If we just sit here debating that one English teacher's specific mistakes, I don't think this discussion really gains any traction. It's pretty obvious she messed up, but let's look at the bigger picture.
Well, if that's the case, you probably shouldn't have gone with such an ambiguous headline in the first place!

You know, it’s entirely possible that you’re dealing with someone who was once a total wunderkind—someone calm, reliable, and always pulling straight A's—only to suddenly start making incredibly questionable decisions out of nowhere. In a situation like that, asking them, "Are you just pretending to be stupid?" actually makes perfect sense. Since we already know the kid isn't actually dim-witted, the only logical conclusion left is that they're putting on an act.

How can he be so sure you don't think he's actually just dim? The margin for misunderstanding is way too wide for that question to ever fly... in a classroom setting.

hiddenseal14 said:Well, oops. I actually told a student just a few days ago that they were acting stupid.
The truth is, they really *were* playing dumb, and they were doing it specifically to entertain the rest of the class.

Apparently, I should have just asked for my walking papers right then and there.

Tell him again once, maybe he'll get the hint. But if you keep saying it a third, fifth, or tenth time, don't be shocked when some parent shows up at the principal's office over it.

wanderingbadger44 said:What are you suggesting here—that we should brand kids with dyslexia on their foreheads or something?

Look, I’m probably going to stir up an argument by saying this, but I truly believe that when a child lives with dyslexia, they become aware of it; if their parents have taught them to embrace their neurodivergence, that kid can walk into a fifth-grade classroom and calmly say, "I'm sorry, I can't see where I went wrong because my dyslexia makes reading difficult." ☕

The original post actually explains things quite clearly: the teacher pointed out a mistake and asked him to fix it. It’s not like she walked up to him and called him stupid just because he missed a mark.

If a student has been dealing with dyslexia for a while, they’ve likely faced these hurdles many times before, much like how someone learns to navigate a constant obstacle in their daily path. They learn to manage it. If the kid just sat there staring blankly after she pointed out the error, it’s easy to see why she might have misinterpreted that silence as him acting like he didn't understand.

That being said, she shouldn't have gone there.

I’m just pointing out that having dyslexia doesn't make a student slow or incapable of communicating. ☕

Maybe the kid just froze up. 🤷 Moving from elementary to middle school—new teachers, new subjects—maybe he was just overwhelmed and didn't know what he was allowed to say to which teacher.

hiddenseal14 said:Well, oops. I actually told a student just a few days ago that they were acting stupid.
The truth is, they really *were* playing dumb, and they were doing it specifically to entertain the rest of the class.

Apparently, I should have just asked for my walking papers right then and there.

Keep it up and maybe one day you will be. 😁

crimsongull20 said:Tell him again once, maybe he'll get the hint. But if you keep saying it a third, fifth, or tenth time, don't be shocked when some parent shows up at the principal's office over it.

Not a chance.
Thank God I'm not working in an environment where parents raise their kids to be absolute morons and then proceed to wrap them in bubble wrap.

In fact, if I ever dared to mention to a parent that their kid was acting like a complete idiot during math class, they wouldn't ask how to fix the behavior—they'd just demand to know why I wasn't giving the kid two slaps across the face instead.

Reading all this makes me feel incredibly blessed 😁

crimsongull20 said:How can he be so sure you don't think he's actually just dim? The margin for misunderstanding is way too wide for that question to ever fly... in a classroom setting.

She asked him: 'Are you actually stupid, or are you just pretending to be?'

I guess it ended well enough. Both the mom and the teacher did what they needed to do, I suppose.
If everyone played their part—and they did, including the principal—then maybe we should just give the teacher a break and stop dragging this out.
It's settled, I guess. Everyone should probably just move on. 🙂

hiddenseal14 said:Not a chance.
Thank God I'm not working in an environment where parents raise their kids to be absolute morons and then proceed to wrap them in bubble wrap.

In fact, if I ever dared to mention to a parent that their kid was acting like a complete idiot during math class, they wouldn't ask how to fix the behavior—they'd just demand to know why I wasn't giving the kid two slaps across the face instead.

Reading all this makes me feel incredibly blessed 😁

Times change everywhere in the States.

wanderingbadger44 said:What are you suggesting here—that we should brand kids with dyslexia on their foreheads or something?

Look, I’m probably going to stir up an argument by saying this, but I truly believe that when a child lives with dyslexia, they become aware of it; if their parents have taught them to embrace their neurodivergence, that kid can walk into a fifth-grade classroom and calmly say, "I'm sorry, I can't see where I went wrong because my dyslexia makes reading difficult." ☕

The original post actually explains things quite clearly: the teacher pointed out a mistake and asked him to fix it. It’s not like she walked up to him and called him stupid just because he missed a mark.

If a student has been dealing with dyslexia for a while, they’ve likely faced these hurdles many times before, much like how someone learns to navigate a constant obstacle in their daily path. They learn to manage it. If the kid just sat there staring blankly after she pointed out the error, it’s easy to see why she might have misinterpreted that silence as him acting like he didn't understand.

That being said, she shouldn't have gone there.

I’m just pointing out that having dyslexia doesn't make a student slow or incapable of communicating. ☕

No, he isn't slow, nor is he mute, nor is he stupid. In fact, since you all seem intent on twisting my words, he scored well above average on every intelligence test—which, I suppose, is how it goes for most people with dyslexia. The kid was raised well; he isn't used to being spoken to that way, nor is it normal for him to have someone ask if he's stupid. So, naturally, he froze up. He's ten years old, after all. But I guess you're right; judging by various posts on this forum, it might be better for him to start getting used to this kind of treatment now.
It’s just like those arrogant teachers who think respect is automatically earned just because they finished college and passed a few certification exams. They act like they hold the keys to everyone's lives. But since they're working in those tiny, miserable little school districts with terrible conditions and zero flexibility on vacation time, I suppose that little interaction in the third row by the door really made his day.