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Falling for an ex with an addiction problem

Started by Jeffrey Stewart4 · · 👁 7 views · 125 replies

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Participants Jeffrey Stewart4Andrew Ramos10brightridge59Kimberly Flores9placidrangerJames Allen6William Nelson7Dennis Doyle3Samuel Davis16Noah Garcia4George Chavez8amberbadger8Amanda Stewart7Ronald Rogers27Christian Sanchez4silentpilot6Jonathan Morales2Roger Evansanalogsailor98Mark Campbell5Anthony Hayes27Raymond Sanchez7wiredharbor22Linda Vaughn2 …
Ronald Rogers27 Ronald Rogers27 Active Member
152 messages
joined Mar 2008
#41 ·
brightridge59 said:Look, Ronald Rogers27... you’re talking about two completely different things here.

If some woman posted online saying she was thinking about walking out onto a busy interstate to see if a car would hit her just to test her luck, what on earth would you say to her?
Would you tell her to go ahead and take the risk because "well, maybe it won't happen"? 😕

You're stuck in the realm of theory, but I’m speaking from actual life experience. When you're dealing with addicts, there is simply no such thing as trust—not even when people claim they've "rehabilitated."

Addiction is a chronic, recurring illness, not some temporary phase or a run of bad luck. There is no reliable future to be built with them.
That’s exactly why I offer this kind of advice and hold this perspective.

I don't know. I've never been in a relationship with an addict—at least not someone using needles (one of my exes smoked weed heavily, but that wasn't why we broke up).

So what, does that mean NOBODY (not former criminals, not addicts, not anyone) deserves a second chance to rejoin society and live an honest, clean life?

Then we wonder why drug dealers, thieves, and all kinds of lowlifes who lie and steal at every turn are recruited from former addicts. Nobody trusts them. 👎

But those people HAVE to eat. They have to survive. So what, we just wash our hands of them and leave them to starve? 🤷

If I were in their shoes, I'd be the first one to grab a brick and mug an honest citizen if I had to choose between Life and Death.

(I hope you realize what you're advocating for. Think about how little this actually relates to how society functions.)

Ronald Rogers27
Jeffrey Stewart4 Jeffrey Stewart4 MemberOP
13 messages
joined Oct 2007
#42 ·
Yesterday, I finally laid all my cards on the table and voiced every single doubt and fear I’ve been harboring about him. He claimed he understood where I was coming from, but the moment I suggested we get tested, he absolutely lost it😢...he acted as if I were personally insulting his character by questioning his integrity. So, here I am, feeling utterly defeated and small. It feels ugly—maybe even pathetic—to have even brought up the idea of testing, but I need clarity for my own peace of mind, and he's digging his heels in and refusing. Am I really such a desperate, broken person? How can I find any footing when I can't even trust my own instincts
I honestly don't know how we move forward from here.🤷
James Allen6 James Allen6 Active Member
85 messages
joined Apr 2007
#43 ·
Jeffrey Stewart4,
if he truly understood you, he wouldn't hesitate to take a test just to help you sleep better at night.
his "troubled" past certainly gives you every reason to have doubts, and I suppose he should recognize that. He really ought to be doing everything possible to prove that his addiction is behind him so you can finally feel at peace.
I find myself agreeing with the women who mentioned that you might be playing a dangerous game here.
I am certain there are former addicts out there who never go back to that life, but the real question is whether your boyfriend is actually one of those people.
if there is nothing to hide, why would he refuse a test? personally, I don't think I would trust him either.....😢
Samuel Davis16 Samuel Davis16 Member
46 messages
joined Jan 2009
#44 ·
brightridge59 said:While you certainly can't pick who captures your heart, you absolutely have the agency to decide who you'll stay in a relationship with.

That's why they say love is blind. You don't see the addict, you don't see the gambler, you don't see the abuser... you just don't see any of it.

And that's really the crux of the matter, isn't it? ;-)

In my view, that isn't true love; it’s more like being infatuated or simply blinded by emotion. You see everything clearly enough, but you choose to look the other way. By the time real love sets in, it's often far too late to fix the damage. 🤷

Just to be clear, I'm not talking about someone casually wondering if they should date a certain person as a joke.
I'm talking about someone facing an incredibly heavy burden, and she is making the conscious decision to take that weight onto her own shoulders.

Yeah, we're saying the same thing, just using different words.
The thing is, she is in love, which is why making a choice is such a nightmare.
Sure, you can choose who you end up with, but it's damn hard when your heart is pulling you one way...
Samuel Davis16 Samuel Davis16 Member
46 messages
joined Jan 2009
#45 ·
Jeffrey Stewart4 said:Yesterday, I finally laid all my cards on the table and voiced every single doubt and fear I’ve been harboring about him. He claimed he understood where I was coming from, but the moment I suggested we get tested, he absolutely lost it😢...he acted as if I were personally insulting his character by questioning his integrity. So, here I am, feeling utterly defeated and small. It feels ugly—maybe even pathetic—to have even brought up the idea of testing, but I need clarity for my own peace of mind, and he's digging his heels in and refusing. Am I really such a desperate, broken person? How can I find any footing when I can't even trust my own instincts
I honestly don't know how we move forward from here.🤷

He can't honestly expect you to just take his word for it.

First off, you don't know his soul
Second, he's an ex-addict.

That should be enough for you, shouldn't it?
brightridge59 brightridge59 Active Member
85 messages
joined Jun 2011
#46 ·
Ronald Rogers27 said:I don't know. I've never been in a relationship with an addict—at least not someone using needles (one of my exes smoked weed heavily, but that wasn't why we broke up).

So what, does that mean NOBODY (not former criminals, not addicts, not anyone) deserves a second chance to rejoin society and live an honest, clean life?

Then we wonder why drug dealers, thieves, and all kinds of lowlifes who lie and steal at every turn are recruited from former addicts. Nobody trusts them. 👎

But those people HAVE to eat. They have to survive. So what, we just wash our hands of them and leave them to starve? 🤷

If I were in their shoes, I'd be the first one to grab a brick and mug an honest citizen if I had to choose between Life and Death.

(I hope you realize what you're advocating for. Think about how little this actually relates to how society functions.)

Ronald Rogers27

Well, I have. And honestly, looking back, the toxic dynamic that developed between us was exactly what led to our breakup. It really just comes down to that reality.
So that means NOBODY (not former criminals, nor addicts, nor any other kind of troublemaker) should be given a second chance to reintegrate into society and live an honest life, right?

Of course that isn't what it means. But that is precisely why rehabilitation centers exist.
How effective they actually are is another debate entirely, but no one is obligated to deal with an addict on a personal level just because they feel sorry for them.

And then we wonder why drug dealers, thieves, and all sorts of bottom-feeders who lie, steal, and cheat at every turn are recruited from former addicts and criminals. Nobody trusts them.

And you can't trust them. 😬
I honestly don't know how else to explain this to you. I don't know which words to use when it seems like you just aren't grasping it.
I used to believe. I really did. I held onto the exact same mindset you have right now: "someone has to help, it isn't fair, they are victims of the system (sure, even that 🙄 ), they need support." And do you know what the conclusion was? No one is required to help them if they themselves don't want to help themselves. Do you see what I mean?
Addicts can be incredibly selfish, manipulative, and part of a broken subculture where 95% don't actually want to leave. They just want to exploit everything they can so they can keep living that lifestyle.
The ones who truly want out, get out.

But those people HAVE to eat; they have to survive somehow. So, are we just washing our hands of them and leaving them to starve? 🤷

What are we even talking about here?
Is he hungry? Is he miserable? What, am I supposed to hand him a silver spoon? 😕

If I were in their shoes, I’d be the first one to grab a brick and smash a decent citizen's face just to steal their wallet if I had to choose between Life and Death.

🤣🤣
Look, honey—forgive me, I’m not quite sure how old you are, but this sounds like someone who’s maybe sixteen at most—you’ve clearly watched a few too many movies, because you seem to have this somewhat romanticized notion of what an addict actually is. 😉

(I really hope you realize what you're advocating for here; please take a moment to think about how little this actually relates to society or any real social trends at all)

Ronald Rogers27

If I were to write down exactly what I'm thinking right now, I’d probably end up getting banned from the forum, so I’ll stay polite and decorous and just keep it to myself. 😬

I am certainly not advocating for anyone to "wash their hands" of the situation, and while your reasoning feels a bit disjointed, I do understand the points you're trying to make. My stance is that we should advocate for help, just not on a personal, one-on-one level.
I am offering advice from my own specific perspective, essentially looking at a single individual case. I honestly have no idea what you mean by "washing your hands" or these supposed social trends you keep bringing up. 🙄

Believe it or not, I have always been incredibly empathetic toward people struggling with addiction. In fact, it was likely that very empathy that landed me in the exact situation I found myself in once upon a time. ☕
brightridge59 brightridge59 Active Member
85 messages
joined Jun 2011
#47 ·
I actually missed your post entirely! 😬

Christian Sanchez4 said:Oh, come off it, what's wrong with me? 😬 🤣

I just couldn't help myself 😳🤣 though you know I usually agree with you😉 😁

Honestly, you’re one of those rare 5% who just gets it. Thank goodness for that. 🙂

I just couldn't help myself, 😳🤣 though you know I'm usually right there with you on these things. 😉 😁

🤣

I know. 🙂 😉
Ronald Rogers27 Ronald Rogers27 Active Member
152 messages
joined Mar 2008
#48 ·
It’s tough—objectively speaking—to talk sense into someone who’s biased, hurt, and screaming at the top of their lungs just to make sure everyone from Washington, D.C. to New York City hears them. They’ve swung wildly from one extreme to the other.

Does that sound familiar, brightridge59? If not, go back and read what you wrote to me, then take a long look in the mirror. 🤷

I have NEVER claimed to be protecting or siding with an addict. It’s actually the exact opposite; you can see that clearly in the thread Enky started ("Drug Abuse and Spirituality?") over in the Spirituality discussion. 🙂

There’s a massive difference between being naive and giving someone a chance. You, brightridge59, were naive. You fell for a manipulator's tricks—someone playing on your emotions to get what they wanted. 👎

I’ve been given chances in Life after I messed up more than once. It wasn't about drugs or crime; people mess up in much milder ways that still carry heavy consequences. But back then, I was given chances (not always, mind you) that I earned by meeting the specific goals set for me. The people giving me those shots were experienced. They didn't feel the need to constantly monitor or test me AFTER they gave me the opportunity.

To them, it was obvious that sooner or later, my results would prove whether or not I deserved that trust. 😛

It’s the same deal with addiction, criminal recidivism, you name it. We aren't talking about the offender here; we're talking about the judge—the person setting the terms. It comes down to their experience and their conviction.

Nobody, brightridge59, CAN force you to do anything against your will. Just think about what I'm saying...

Jeffrey Stewart4 is probably in danger because she won't be able to see the situation for what it really is (assuming the guy is lying to her). That’s likely the ONLY point where I agree with you. 😲
_______

Prejudice is a dangerous thing. It has ruined innocent lives and led many others to commit stupid mistakes simply because they couldn't see past their own biases.

I am against prejudice, period. But I am ruthless if I find out my trust was played for fools—if a second chance was just used as a way to "catch a breath" or buy more time.

Ronald Rogers27
Christian Sanchez4 Christian Sanchez4 Active Member
56 messages
joined Jan 2007
#49 ·
brightridge59 said:I actually missed your post entirely! 😬

Honestly, you’re one of those rare 5% who just gets it. Thank goodness for that. 🙂

I just couldn't help myself, 😳🤣 though you know I'm usually right there with you on these things. 😉 😁

🤣

I know. 🙂 😉


All jokes aside, I see your point. I completely agree with you—the percentage of people who actually pull themselves out of a deep hole is incredibly small. That said, I think there are slightly more than 5% of us out there.😁

Ronald Rogers27 said:It’s tough—objectively speaking—to talk sense into someone who’s biased, hurt, and screaming at the top of their lungs just to make sure everyone from Washington, D.C. to New York City hears them. They’ve swung wildly from one extreme to the other.

Does that sound familiar, brightridge59? If not, go back and read what you wrote to me, then take a long look in the mirror. 🤷

I have NEVER claimed to be protecting or siding with an addict. It’s actually the exact opposite; you can see that clearly in the thread Enky started ("Drug Abuse and Spirituality?") over in the Spirituality discussion. 🙂

There’s a massive difference between being naive and giving someone a chance. You, brightridge59, were naive. You fell for a manipulator's tricks—someone playing on your emotions to get what they wanted. 👎

I’ve been given chances in Life after I messed up more than once. It wasn't about drugs or crime; people mess up in much milder ways that still carry heavy consequences. But back then, I was given chances (not always, mind you) that I earned by meeting the specific goals set for me. The people giving me those shots were experienced. They didn't feel the need to constantly monitor or test me AFTER they gave me the opportunity.

To them, it was obvious that sooner or later, my results would prove whether or not I deserved that trust. 😛

It’s the same deal with addiction, criminal recidivism, you name it. We aren't talking about the offender here; we're talking about the judge—the person setting the terms. It comes down to their experience and their conviction.

Nobody, brightridge59, CAN force you to do anything against your will. Just think about what I'm saying...

Jeffrey Stewart4 is probably in danger because she won't be able to see the situation for what it really is (assuming the guy is lying to her). That’s likely the ONLY point where I agree with you. 😲
_______

Prejudice is a dangerous thing. It has ruined innocent lives and led many others to commit stupid mistakes simply because they couldn't see past their own biases.

I am against prejudice, period. But I am ruthless if I find out my trust was played for fools—if a second chance was just used as a way to "catch a breath" or buy more time.

Ronald Rogers27

I’ll jump in here for a moment, speaking as someone who has spent plenty of time stuck in the mud and has been granted countless opportunities by those closest to me—both with and without prejudice.🙂

I can't summarize my lifelong struggle against prejudice in just a few sentences, so I won't attempt it here. But let's just say I have a profound dislike😁 for all forms of bias, from the mildest to the most malicious.

You wrote that very well. If we were discussing any other topic besides addiction, I would be right there with you.
however xD
Addiction operates under its own set of rules. You mention crime or various setbacks, but you can't group narcotic dependency in the same category as theft, fraud, or lying—even though it certainly shares some of those traits.😁 I'm not sure if you've ever had a loved one struggling with addiction. Trying to "negotiate" with someone in that state, or trying to appeal to their logic, intellect, or the love and connection you share... please don't take this personally, but I don't think😁 it's logical. It's only natural that you're trying to apply the same pattern of trust and second chances that you've used in other life struggles to the issue of addiction. Hell, we're all wired that way.
They were at Walmart😁
but that approach just doesn't work.
An addict cannot pull themselves out alone. Sure, they need support. But it isn't the kind of support that leaves them even an inch of breathing room to act as a participant in their own recovery. Support for an addict must be strong, strict, uncompromising, and merciless. It has to be deaf and blind to all their suggestions, their inputs, their delusions, their desperate attempts to withdraw, and their lies—to every miserable human impulse that will inevitably surface. Because it will. You simply cannot trust an addict.
Even later, once the chemicals are physically out of their system and they begin to navigate the standard agony of processing the real world and their place in it, the person helping them needs at least two faces. One face provides the rehabilitated person with therapy and support, instilling the willpower and strength needed to start healing their own wounds and awakening the intellect required to eventually return to reality. The second face must be ruthless and firm, uncompromisingly monitoring every vacant stare, every conversational slip, and every shift in body language. This second face must be ready to grab that pathetic individual and drag them back to solid ground, regardless of any brilliantly crafted or pathetic little lies, pleas, promises, or "bla bla," the moment they sense that person starting to drift toward the bottom. And it will happen. Over and over again.
This "recovery" process takes forever... sometimes I wonder how the people who truly love me and stayed by my side (and there aren't many🙂) finally reached the stage where they could actually trust me again. I try to replay the movie in my head to figure out when that turning point was. I think it took years and years of me maintaining a "normal" life—just the daily grind of a standard, boring existence—before they stopped counting how many pills I had left unswallowed, checking the trash for empty bottles, or rifling through my makeup bag, things like that... And very often, when I mention taking something as basic as a 1.5 mg Xanax, I can see that long, piercing look in their eyes. I know they aren't doing it on purpose; it’s just an instinctual reaction, a way to keep tabs on me.

To wrap things up: of course, support means everything. I don't know what would have happened to me if I hadn't received it (though, honestly, I think I would have pulled through somehow because I know exactly how my brain was wired back then, but I'm not trying to brag😬). In the end, it was pure spite that saved me. My own, most basic, primal, and perhaps even childish spite. But without support, the struggle would have been much bloodier and more miserable, with outcomes no one can predict.
But you can try and try until you burn out and vanish into your own effort if you are trying to help someone who is unreachable. It is simply impossible. At first glance, it seems like you should be able to break through to anyone if you try hard enough. That is the trap😁 because you absolutely cannot. And it feels devastating when, after X number of years, you realize you've just slammed yourself against a wall that you have zero chance of moving.

If I were in Jeffrey Stewart4's shoes, knowing everything I know now—I would leave. I would mourn, cry, wipe my tears, pick up whatever pieces of my heart were left, and move on. Walking away is far less painful than staying. But it isn't about it being less painful; it's about what is fair for her. It's the right thing to do.
James Allen6 James Allen6 Active Member
85 messages
joined Apr 2007
#50 ·
Christian Sanchez4,
well done.
I am glad you managed to get away 🙂
Roger Evans Roger Evans Member
22 messages
joined May 2008
#51 ·
Christian Sanchez4 said:All jokes aside, I see your point. I completely agree with you—the percentage of people who actually pull themselves out of a deep hole is incredibly small. That said, I think there are slightly more than 5% of us out there.😁

I’ll jump in here for a moment, speaking as someone who has spent plenty of time stuck in the mud and has been granted countless opportunities by those closest to me—both with and without prejudice.🙂

I can't summarize my lifelong struggle against prejudice in just a few sentences, so I won't attempt it here. But let's just say I have a profound dislike😁 for all forms of bias, from the mildest to the most malicious.

You wrote that very well. If we were discussing any other topic besides addiction, I would be right there with you.
however xD
Addiction operates under its own set of rules. You mention crime or various setbacks, but you can't group narcotic dependency in the same category as theft, fraud, or lying—even though it certainly shares some of those traits.😁 I'm not sure if you've ever had a loved one struggling with addiction. Trying to "negotiate" with someone in that state, or trying to appeal to their logic, intellect, or the love and connection you share... please don't take this personally, but I don't think😁 it's logical. It's only natural that you're trying to apply the same pattern of trust and second chances that you've used in other life struggles to the issue of addiction. Hell, we're all wired that way.
They were at Walmart😁
but that approach just doesn't work.
An addict cannot pull themselves out alone. Sure, they need support. But it isn't the kind of support that leaves them even an inch of breathing room to act as a participant in their own recovery. Support for an addict must be strong, strict, uncompromising, and merciless. It has to be deaf and blind to all their suggestions, their inputs, their delusions, their desperate attempts to withdraw, and their lies—to every miserable human impulse that will inevitably surface. Because it will. You simply cannot trust an addict.
Even later, once the chemicals are physically out of their system and they begin to navigate the standard agony of processing the real world and their place in it, the person helping them needs at least two faces. One face provides the rehabilitated person with therapy and support, instilling the willpower and strength needed to start healing their own wounds and awakening the intellect required to eventually return to reality. The second face must be ruthless and firm, uncompromisingly monitoring every vacant stare, every conversational slip, and every shift in body language. This second face must be ready to grab that pathetic individual and drag them back to solid ground, regardless of any brilliantly crafted or pathetic little lies, pleas, promises, or "bla bla," the moment they sense that person starting to drift toward the bottom. And it will happen. Over and over again.
This "recovery" process takes forever... sometimes I wonder how the people who truly love me and stayed by my side (and there aren't many🙂) finally reached the stage where they could actually trust me again. I try to replay the movie in my head to figure out when that turning point was. I think it took years and years of me maintaining a "normal" life—just the daily grind of a standard, boring existence—before they stopped counting how many pills I had left unswallowed, checking the trash for empty bottles, or rifling through my makeup bag, things like that... And very often, when I mention taking something as basic as a 1.5 mg Xanax, I can see that long, piercing look in their eyes. I know they aren't doing it on purpose; it’s just an instinctual reaction, a way to keep tabs on me.

To wrap things up: of course, support means everything. I don't know what would have happened to me if I hadn't received it (though, honestly, I think I would have pulled through somehow because I know exactly how my brain was wired back then, but I'm not trying to brag😬). In the end, it was pure spite that saved me. My own, most basic, primal, and perhaps even childish spite. But without support, the struggle would have been much bloodier and more miserable, with outcomes no one can predict.
But you can try and try until you burn out and vanish into your own effort if you are trying to help someone who is unreachable. It is simply impossible. At first glance, it seems like you should be able to break through to anyone if you try hard enough. That is the trap😁 because you absolutely cannot. And it feels devastating when, after X number of years, you realize you've just slammed yourself against a wall that you have zero chance of moving.

If I were in Jeffrey Stewart4's shoes, knowing everything I know now—I would leave. I would mourn, cry, wipe my tears, pick up whatever pieces of my heart were left, and move on. Walking away is far less painful than staying. But it isn't about it being less painful; it's about what is fair for her. It's the right thing to do.

Signed, a woman who walked away from an addict.

Honey, just run before it's too late.

There is zero chance of happiness until he gets completely clean.

Addicts have twisted personalities and totally warped morals.

They’re selfish—everything they do is just to feed the habit.
brightridge59 brightridge59 Active Member
85 messages
joined Jun 2011
#52 ·
It looks like everyone has gathered here. 😬

Christian Sanchez4, I realize it isn't just a tiny 5% margin, but I honestly can't say there's a significantly larger percentage of people who actually manage to get clean and stay clean without ever facing a relapse. Not once.

By the way, I found your post to be 👍
Jeffrey Stewart4 Jeffrey Stewart4 MemberOP
13 messages
joined Oct 2007
#53 ·
Christian Sanchez4 said:All jokes aside, I see your point. I completely agree with you—the percentage of people who actually pull themselves out of a deep hole is incredibly small. That said, I think there are slightly more than 5% of us out there.😁

I’ll jump in here for a moment, speaking as someone who has spent plenty of time stuck in the mud and has been granted countless opportunities by those closest to me—both with and without prejudice.🙂

I can't summarize my lifelong struggle against prejudice in just a few sentences, so I won't attempt it here. But let's just say I have a profound dislike😁 for all forms of bias, from the mildest to the most malicious.

You wrote that very well. If we were discussing any other topic besides addiction, I would be right there with you.
however xD
Addiction operates under its own set of rules. You mention crime or various setbacks, but you can't group narcotic dependency in the same category as theft, fraud, or lying—even though it certainly shares some of those traits.😁 I'm not sure if you've ever had a loved one struggling with addiction. Trying to "negotiate" with someone in that state, or trying to appeal to their logic, intellect, or the love and connection you share... please don't take this personally, but I don't think😁 it's logical. It's only natural that you're trying to apply the same pattern of trust and second chances that you've used in other life struggles to the issue of addiction. Hell, we're all wired that way.
They were at Walmart😁
but that approach just doesn't work.
An addict cannot pull themselves out alone. Sure, they need support. But it isn't the kind of support that leaves them even an inch of breathing room to act as a participant in their own recovery. Support for an addict must be strong, strict, uncompromising, and merciless. It has to be deaf and blind to all their suggestions, their inputs, their delusions, their desperate attempts to withdraw, and their lies—to every miserable human impulse that will inevitably surface. Because it will. You simply cannot trust an addict.
Even later, once the chemicals are physically out of their system and they begin to navigate the standard agony of processing the real world and their place in it, the person helping them needs at least two faces. One face provides the rehabilitated person with therapy and support, instilling the willpower and strength needed to start healing their own wounds and awakening the intellect required to eventually return to reality. The second face must be ruthless and firm, uncompromisingly monitoring every vacant stare, every conversational slip, and every shift in body language. This second face must be ready to grab that pathetic individual and drag them back to solid ground, regardless of any brilliantly crafted or pathetic little lies, pleas, promises, or "bla bla," the moment they sense that person starting to drift toward the bottom. And it will happen. Over and over again.
This "recovery" process takes forever... sometimes I wonder how the people who truly love me and stayed by my side (and there aren't many🙂) finally reached the stage where they could actually trust me again. I try to replay the movie in my head to figure out when that turning point was. I think it took years and years of me maintaining a "normal" life—just the daily grind of a standard, boring existence—before they stopped counting how many pills I had left unswallowed, checking the trash for empty bottles, or rifling through my makeup bag, things like that... And very often, when I mention taking something as basic as a 1.5 mg Xanax, I can see that long, piercing look in their eyes. I know they aren't doing it on purpose; it’s just an instinctual reaction, a way to keep tabs on me.

To wrap things up: of course, support means everything. I don't know what would have happened to me if I hadn't received it (though, honestly, I think I would have pulled through somehow because I know exactly how my brain was wired back then, but I'm not trying to brag😬). In the end, it was pure spite that saved me. My own, most basic, primal, and perhaps even childish spite. But without support, the struggle would have been much bloodier and more miserable, with outcomes no one can predict.
But you can try and try until you burn out and vanish into your own effort if you are trying to help someone who is unreachable. It is simply impossible. At first glance, it seems like you should be able to break through to anyone if you try hard enough. That is the trap😁 because you absolutely cannot. And it feels devastating when, after X number of years, you realize you've just slammed yourself against a wall that you have zero chance of moving.

If I were in Jeffrey Stewart4's shoes, knowing everything I know now—I would leave. I would mourn, cry, wipe my tears, pick up whatever pieces of my heart were left, and move on. Walking away is far less painful than staying. But it isn't about it being less painful; it's about what is fair for her. It's the right thing to do.

I am fully aware, deep down, that walking away would be the better choice—honestly, it would have been best if I had never even started this journey—but...
I just can't bring myself to leave; I simply can't.
How am I supposed to just abandon him? I want him to know that I’ll be there, standing by his side, ready to help if he falls back into that hole again. But at the same time, I need him to tell me the truth, because I feel like I've earned that much. Back when he was using, he wasn't one of those guys out committing crimes or stealing from neighbors, mostly because he comes from such a well-to-do family. The only people he's truly hurt are his parents and his sister. He has betrayed their trust a thousand times over, and they are living in fear, just like I am.
analogsailor98 analogsailor98 Member
14 messages
joined Dec 2007
#54 ·
Jeffrey Stewart4 said:I am fully aware, deep down, that walking away would be the better choice—honestly, it would have been best if I had never even started this journey—but...
I just can't bring myself to leave; I simply can't.
How am I supposed to just abandon him? I want him to know that I’ll be there, standing by his side, ready to help if he falls back into that hole again. But at the same time, I need him to tell me the truth, because I feel like I've earned that much. Back when he was using, he wasn't one of those guys out committing crimes or stealing from neighbors, mostly because he comes from such a well-to-do family. The only people he's truly hurt are his parents and his sister. He has betrayed their trust a thousand times over, and they are living in fear, just like I am.

Been around long enough to see this before.

Take it from me—run.

You aren't going to fix him if he's already underwater, and he doesn't owe you the truth just because you've been loyal.
The fact that he didn't turn to crime because he had money to fund his habit? That doesn't make him a "good guy"—it actually makes it worse. He's just tearing apart the people who care about him because he doesn't give a damn about anything else.
There's nothing you can do. If you stick around and let him spit in your face, then yeah, be ready to wear that spit...
You can leave. And you should... Because one day, if you stay, you're just going to wake up exhausted, manipulated, and wondering why you can't even trust your own gut anymore...
brightridge59 brightridge59 Active Member
85 messages
joined Jun 2011
#55 ·
Hey there, analogsailor98 👋
It is always such a pleasure to see you popping up on my feed again. 🙂

analogsailor98 said:Been around long enough to see this before.

Take it from me—run.

You aren't going to fix him if he's already underwater, and he doesn't owe you the truth just because you've been loyal.
The fact that he didn't turn to crime because he had money to fund his habit? That doesn't make him a "good guy"—it actually makes it worse. He's just tearing apart the people who care about him because he doesn't give a damn about anything else.
There's nothing you can do. If you stick around and let him spit in your face, then yeah, be ready to wear that spit...
You can leave. And you should... Because one day, if you stay, you're just going to wake up exhausted, manipulated, and wondering why you can't even trust your own gut anymore...

Sadly, that is exactly what happens.
analogsailor98 analogsailor98 Member
14 messages
joined Dec 2007
#56 ·
brightridge59 said:Hey there, analogsailor98 👋
It is always such a pleasure to see you popping up on my feed again. 🙂

Sadly, that is exactly what happens.


Hey, sweetie🙂
Christian Sanchez4 Christian Sanchez4 Active Member
56 messages
joined Jan 2007
#57 ·
I realized I had to reach out to you, analogsailor98 😁

It seems like we always get the exact same group of people chiming in on threads like this 🤣

Hope everyone is doing well 👋 😍

edit: Good grief, this glitchy forum finally decided to work 😁 It took long enough for my post to actually go through 😁
Ronald Rogers27 Ronald Rogers27 Active Member
152 messages
joined Mar 2008
#58 ·
"Dear _Saveta_, I’m coming to you with a sincere plea to help me solve a problem that is serious, heavy, and honestly driving me to the brink of madness. I’m seeing this incredible girl—let's call her kappa_insomnije. I’ve never met anyone so beautiful, brave, educated, and sharp. Everything would be perfect if she weren't an ex-addict. She’s been 'clean' for three years now, having quit heroin for good, and she really threw herself back into life and her studies at the University of California. She’s finishing her law degree with straight A's, and I actually thought about hiring her at my dad’s firm. But my whole family is against us. They say I’ve lost my mind, that I'm dating a junkie who lies to me, drugs behind my back, and just uses me for my money to fund her habit. They call me naive, a 'walking ATM.' Dear _Saveta_, you’re my last hope!" Zvonko.

"Dear Zvonko, your situation is a dead end unless you walk away. You need to run from this woman, kappa_insomnije, headfirst. If I were in your shoes, knowing everything I know—I’d get out. I’d cry, I'd mourn, I'd wipe my tears, pick up the pieces of my heart, and move on. Leaving is much less painful than staying. But it’s not just about avoiding pain; it’s about doing what’s right for yourself. It is the right thing to do!

Have you lost your mind, Zvonko? Giving a job to an addict who can't even find her own direction in life? She lies, she cheats, she steals. Don't believe a single word she says, because her being 'clean' is just for show. People like that should NEVER be given jobs; they should be blacklisted forever for what they do to society and their loved ones.

Are you even aware, Zvonko, that only about 5% of addicts actually make it out of the grip of drugs? And even within that 5%, you can NEVER be 1000% sure that someone like kappa_insomnije won't crawl back to heroin.

Whatever you decide, you’re doing it entirely at your own risk.

Sincerely, Vasa _Saveta_
_______

Ronald Rogers27
Christian Sanchez4 Christian Sanchez4 Active Member
56 messages
joined Jan 2007
#59 ·
Ronald Rogers27 said:"Dear _Saveta_, I’m coming to you with a sincere plea to help me solve a problem that is serious, heavy, and honestly driving me to the brink of madness. I’m seeing this incredible girl—let's call her kappa_insomnije. I’ve never met anyone so beautiful, brave, educated, and sharp. Everything would be perfect if she weren't an ex-addict. She’s been 'clean' for three years now, having quit heroin for good, and she really threw herself back into life and her studies at the University of California. She’s finishing her law degree with straight A's, and I actually thought about hiring her at my dad’s firm. But my whole family is against us. They say I’ve lost my mind, that I'm dating a junkie who lies to me, drugs behind my back, and just uses me for my money to fund her habit. They call me naive, a 'walking ATM.' Dear _Saveta_, you’re my last hope!" Zvonko.

"Dear Zvonko, your situation is a dead end unless you walk away. You need to run from this woman, kappa_insomnije, headfirst. If I were in your shoes, knowing everything I know—I’d get out. I’d cry, I'd mourn, I'd wipe my tears, pick up the pieces of my heart, and move on. Leaving is much less painful than staying. But it’s not just about avoiding pain; it’s about doing what’s right for yourself. It is the right thing to do!

Have you lost your mind, Zvonko? Giving a job to an addict who can't even find her own direction in life? She lies, she cheats, she steals. Don't believe a single word she says, because her being 'clean' is just for show. People like that should NEVER be given jobs; they should be blacklisted forever for what they do to society and their loved ones.

Are you even aware, Zvonko, that only about 5% of addicts actually make it out of the grip of drugs? And even within that 5%, you can NEVER be 1000% sure that someone like kappa_insomnije won't crawl back to heroin.

Whatever you decide, you’re doing it entirely at your own risk.

Sincerely, Vasa _Saveta_
_______

Ronald Rogers27

hahahahahahahahahaha 😂 😂 😂 🙏 🙏

Good grief, heavens to Betsy... 🤣

Ronald Rogers27, I want to tell you how much I love you 🙏 🤣 😬 if I may, without sounding too forward.😬
brightridge59 brightridge59 Active Member
85 messages
joined Jun 2011
#60 ·
You beat me to it! 🤣 🤣

God. Oh my goodness. : 5%: 😢

But I have to hand it to insomnia. 🙏

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