Started by Brian Reed74 · · 👁 47 views · 6K replies
…
mistybison said:I agree with velvetgull9 that moving this thread might be the best move. It will likely spiral into a critique of the church or trigger a debate between believers and atheists, leaving you without any practical answers or advice. 🙂 Alternatively, we could keep this under 'Religion' and simply start a new one in 'Weddings.'
mellowdriver86 said:You’re dead wrong about the car. Most of them get one from their parents as a gift after their first Mass. For Priests, a first Mass is just like a Wedding is for you. Parents don't need to throw a massive reception, so they just buy their son a car instead. Or take my Pastor, for example—he actually took out a loan for his car. The Diocese only covers a fraction of the parish housing and church needs; everything else comes straight from the congregation's donations. I know because that’s how it works here in America. At the end of the year, they publicly announce exactly how much money the parish collected and where every cent went. Right now, our Church of Our Lady of the Snows is undergoing renovations. We have donors, sure, but mostly it's the parishioners chipping in ten bucks here and there. Even the cemetery chapel was recently renovated. And don't think it's free to stay warm in the winter; we have heating, electricity, and water to pay for.
fadedtrucker19 said:And your point is?
It’s not as if 90% of Americans don't get married exactly that way.
That’s precisely how my sister had her Wedding. 🙄You'd want to kneel before the altar without even having the sacraments,
That's complete nonsense that was debunked ages ago.
Either you're illiterate or you're just being malicious; I’m reporting you for harassment and personal attacks, so let the moderators weigh in. ☕you'd be reading into the mic and telling the photographer and videographer where to stand in front of the Priest.
The word "priest" isn't capitalized unless it starts a sentence.
Unless, of course, you're using it as a formal title for someone.
darkcanyon13 said:Oh sure, because parents are basically Rockefellers. 🙄 Seriously though, a few years back, a new priest moved into my small town—total pauper, a real little church mouse. In no time at all, the guy bought himself a nice car because, get this, he claimed God told him to. 😂
Michael Perez5 said:Hmm... I’m honestly not sure how to respond to that. You might be right that I'm being a bit too idealistic about certain things. But I just don't want to feel pressured into doing something just to get what I want... I mean, it feels like if you pay enough, you don't even have to break a sweat or make a confession... and then, boom, you've got your wedding at the Church of Our Lady of the Snows. Honestly, screw that!
Why shouldn't I be able to actually have faith in priests first??
Michael Perez5 said:I really wanted to believe it, I truly did.
I don't really have much of a relationship with priests—though I definitely have one with God. I suppose if you asked the representatives of the church, they might label me an atheist. For them, maybe that’s true... but their opinion doesn't really change my faith. To me, they're just ordinary people. They don't have the power to "forgive someone's sins." That is something only God can do, and I assume that only happens after a sinner truly repents from the heart. But let me clarify.
Here’s how things stand:
I was baptized in Indianapolis, over in the Rutherford neighborhood.
I wasn't complaining, really. It's just that back when I was actually supposed to be getting confirmed, I wasn't even allowed to attend religious education classes... but that’s a whole other story, I guess.
She was baptized over in Indianapolis, specifically in the South II neighborhood, and had her confirmation up in Long Valley. She lives in a town just outside of Indy, and I actually live in a different town nearby. 🙂
We had our hearts set on getting married at St. Michael's Church over in Rutherford, near Indianapolis.
We headed over to the parish office in Rutherford today, but the priest wasn't around when we arrived. I noticed this massive apartment right there in the courtyard with a really beautiful yard. We sat in the car for a little bit, just waiting, until he finally showed up. As soon as we were Going Out, he pulled his new Golf right into his own driveway. He actually saw us approaching, but instead of saying hello, he just shut those heavy, solid doors. We went inside and gave him a proper greeting, letting him know we needed a moment of his time. But as he was heading up the stairs, he just muttered, "What is it you need?"
The vibe was just... awkward, like we were totally inconveniencing her. We walked into this space that felt exactly like some corporate office. We mentioned how much we’d love to get married at St. Michael's Church, so we went in to ask if that might actually be an option... we were being really humble and polite about it.
That was when the IRS really started acting up!
The priest: Which parish are you all in?
I guess I should probably mention that... In that spot and that one.
Priest: Why don't you just handle that back home? I mean, come on... if I absolutely have to marry you, fine, but you can't just show up like this! (shouting)
I just wanted to ask you—we have this real heartfelt desire to get married at St. Michael's Church, mostly because we have such deep sentimental ties to the place.
The priest: Oh, please, don't even start with me! (He’s pacing around his office like he’s expecting me to throw a punch at him.) Seriously though, how are you actually going to get your kids baptized? What kind of relationship do you even have with your local parishes?
Me: Oh, nothing in particular, I guess.
Priest: So, you’re actually asking me to offici your wedding? (He starts shouting—it gets awkward fast, and I honestly can't believe this is happening.) Look, if I absolutely have to perform the ceremony, fine, but don't you dare lecture me. I know how this works. If your own church isn't exactly drawing a crowd, you'd probably rather just do it here instead... You really need to build a better relationship with your local parishes first. You should probably go ask your fellow clergy what they think about this kind of thing; you can't just act like this... (He keeps yelling, and he seems incredibly on edge.)
Well, obviously we’re going to ask them... we just wanted to check in and see where you all stand on this first, since we don't really know anything about it ourselves. We were under the impression that they told us we needed to prepare the registration forms through our own local parishes?
The priest was basically like, "...Are you kidding me? Why are you even here?" He went on to say that if he actually agreed to marry us, we’d just head back to our home parishes and tell everyone, "Oh, all we need is the release paperwork because the priest said he'd do it!"
Look, I'm not lying... I just really wanted to see where you guys stand on this.
A priest? Honestly... if you're that determined, maybe just have your own local pastor marry you then.
....
...
Thank you so much... goodbye.
Going Out... we step onto the street and see a couple just standing Outside... "Is the priest inside?" Yeah, he is... "How's the weather looking today?"?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????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That’s about all I have to say on the matter.
I’m honestly in complete shock right now. I'll be the first to admit that I’ve always had a pretty negative view of priests—I’ve always felt like they don't really have any connection to God at all. But after what happened today... I’m just speechless. I don't even know what to say.
As if it isn't enough that they lack any sense of humility, or that they have no concept of what poverty or true contrition actually look like... as if it isn't bad enough that they lack basic decency and actively turn people away from their faith... as if being arrogant and rude wasn't plenty... then you add the fact that they draw a salary, snatch money right out of people's pockets, and claim a Christian is only "good" based on how much cash they leave at the altar. It’s just wrong. They live in these massive estates, obsessed with nothing but hedonism—money, luxury cars, gambling, huge mansions, and having staff that act like they're part of some holy order, all funded by the donations from the parishioners. Honestly, it’s just a total disgrace.
And finally... my dear says she doesn't want to see him anymore, nor does she want anything to do with "his church."
His? Seriously? Since when do priests own property and churches personally??? I swear, I’ll take this all the way to the Vatican if I have to, but I won't let this slide. I am just so fed up with these scammers. (And look, major respect to the exceptions who truly serve God and people and actually live out their faith) but unfortunately, either I have terrible luck or I just keep running into these absolute crooks. And today... today was just too much.
I think I might actually start a blog just to expose priests like this—documenting exactly who did what and when.
I'm pretty worked up right now... but you have to agree, this isn't how someone should act. A man in that position is supposed to be a role model for how people should live, representing himself and his calling with integrity...
It's just awful.
Timothy Martinez6 said:I can't tell you if you're a believer or not, but if you think regular sacramental confession isn't necessary (that confessing personally to God is enough), then you're stepping outside the bounds of Catholic teaching. A Priest doesn't forgive sins in a sacramental confession (only God forgives sins); he grants absolution (think of him as God's representative who, based on the authority God gave him, absolves sins).
If you know a Priest who is leaking secrets from confessions, I suggest you warn him, and if that doesn't work, report him to the Bishop.
I'm sorry that Priest treated you that way. Unfortunately, Priests sin too, sometimes even worse than anyone else. I don't know what to advise you. If you still want your Wedding at that church and the Priest is being difficult, perhaps you should talk to the Bishop...
velvetranger52 said:I bet you handed him a couple of bucks for a spare tire, too. 😂😂😂
darkcanyon13 said:I didn't, and honestly, he told me he doesn't even need any "protection" because he isn't having sex. 😉 But then, through various middlemen, he keeps calling me constantly, trying to exorcise the Devil out of my soul—it feels incredibly suspicious to me. Who knows what he actually thinks about che!? 😕🤷
Michael Perez5 said:I really wanted to believe it, I truly did.
I don't really have much of a relationship with priests—though I definitely have one with God. I suppose if you asked the representatives of the church, they might label me an atheist. For them, maybe that’s true... but their opinion doesn't really change my faith. To me, they're just ordinary people. They don't have the power to "forgive someone's sins." That is something only God can do, and I assume that only happens after a sinner truly repents from the heart. But let me clarify.
Here’s how things stand:
I was baptized in Indianapolis, over in the Rutherford neighborhood.
I wasn't complaining, really. It's just that back when I was actually supposed to be getting confirmed, I wasn't even allowed to attend religious education classes... but that’s a whole other story, I guess.
She was baptized over in Indianapolis, specifically in the South II neighborhood, and had her confirmation up in Long Valley. She lives in a town just outside of Indy, and I actually live in a different town nearby. 🙂
We had our hearts set on getting married at St. Michael's Church over in Rutherford, near Indianapolis.
We headed over to the parish office in Rutherford today, but the priest wasn't around when we arrived. I noticed this massive apartment right there in the courtyard with a really beautiful yard. We sat in the car for a little bit, just waiting, until he finally showed up. As soon as we were Going Out, he pulled his new Golf right into his own driveway. He actually saw us approaching, but instead of saying hello, he just shut those heavy, solid doors. We went inside and gave him a proper greeting, letting him know we needed a moment of his time. But as he was heading up the stairs, he just muttered, "What is it you need?"
The vibe was just... awkward, like we were totally inconveniencing her. We walked into this space that felt exactly like some corporate office. We mentioned how much we’d love to get married at St. Michael's Church, so we went in to ask if that might actually be an option... we were being really humble and polite about it.
That was when the IRS really started acting up!
The priest: Which parish are you all in?
I guess I should probably mention that... In that spot and that one.
Priest: Why don't you just handle that back home? I mean, come on... if I absolutely have to marry you, fine, but you can't just show up like this! (shouting)
I just wanted to ask you—we have this real heartfelt desire to get married at St. Michael's Church, mostly because we have such deep sentimental ties to the place.
The priest: Oh, please, don't even start with me! (He’s pacing around his office like he’s expecting me to throw a punch at him.) Seriously though, how are you actually going to get your kids baptized? What kind of relationship do you even have with your local parishes?
Me: Oh, nothing in particular, I guess.
Priest: So, you’re actually asking me to offici your wedding? (He starts shouting—it gets awkward fast, and I honestly can't believe this is happening.) Look, if I absolutely have to perform the ceremony, fine, but don't you dare lecture me. I know how this works. If your own church isn't exactly drawing a crowd, you'd probably rather just do it here instead... You really need to build a better relationship with your local parishes first. You should probably go ask your fellow clergy what they think about this kind of thing; you can't just act like this... (He keeps yelling, and he seems incredibly on edge.)
Well, obviously we’re going to ask them... we just wanted to check in and see where you all stand on this first, since we don't really know anything about it ourselves. We were under the impression that they told us we needed to prepare the registration forms through our own local parishes?
The priest was basically like, "...Are you kidding me? Why are you even here?" He went on to say that if he actually agreed to marry us, we’d just head back to our home parishes and tell everyone, "Oh, all we need is the release paperwork because the priest said he'd do it!"
Look, I'm not lying... I just really wanted to see where you guys stand on this.
A priest? Honestly... if you're that determined, maybe just have your own local pastor marry you then.
....
...
Thank you so much... goodbye.
Going Out... we step onto the street and see a couple just standing Outside... "Is the priest inside?" Yeah, he is... "How's the weather looking today?"?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????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That’s about all I have to say on the matter.
I’m honestly in complete shock right now. I'll be the first to admit that I’ve always had a pretty negative view of priests—I’ve always felt like they don't really have any connection to God at all. But after what happened today... I’m just speechless. I don't even know what to say.
As if it isn't enough that they lack any sense of humility, or that they have no concept of what poverty or true contrition actually look like... as if it isn't bad enough that they lack basic decency and actively turn people away from their faith... as if being arrogant and rude wasn't plenty... then you add the fact that they draw a salary, snatch money right out of people's pockets, and claim a Christian is only "good" based on how much cash they leave at the altar. It’s just wrong. They live in these massive estates, obsessed with nothing but hedonism—money, luxury cars, gambling, huge mansions, and having staff that act like they're part of some holy order, all funded by the donations from the parishioners. Honestly, it’s just a total disgrace.
And finally... my dear says she doesn't want to see him anymore, nor does she want anything to do with "his church."
His? Seriously? Since when do priests own property and churches personally??? I swear, I’ll take this all the way to the Vatican if I have to, but I won't let this slide. I am just so fed up with these scammers. (And look, major respect to the exceptions who truly serve God and people and actually live out their faith) but unfortunately, either I have terrible luck or I just keep running into these absolute crooks. And today... today was just too much.
I think I might actually start a blog just to expose priests like this—documenting exactly who did what and when.
I'm pretty worked up right now... but you have to agree, this isn't how someone should act. A man in that position is supposed to be a role model for how people should live, representing himself and his calling with integrity...
It's just awful.
Chris Taylor12 said:What I want to know is how exactly did God give him (or them) that authority? Is there some official document or announcement somewhere, or did they just make the whole thing up themselves?
Jacob Jackson50 said:Michael Perez5, you were humble, contrite, and polite, and you clearly didn't appreciate what happened to you. But now, ask yourself WHY.🙂 If you chose the Church, then play by its rules and stop complaining. You're going to suffer through this until you finally come TO YOURSELF and ask again why you even bother. Life is meant to be lived freely, without restrictions, bans, or fear.
Nicholas Moore61 said:☕
Man...
This past summer, I wanted to get married in a church that wasn't my home parish, but luckily (even though it wasn't even a requirement) I was already baptized and confirmed there. My fiancé was just baptized. When we spoke to the staff at the County Administration Office, they were incredibly accommodating. We had a real conversation, were totally upfront, and they just laid everything out for us... They gave us a checklist of "tasks" and all the paperwork we needed to handle. They didn't even care that he needed to swing by for confirmation, and they didn't grill us about whether we were living in London or staying local...
But when I went back to my own home parish... man, what a disaster (and honestly, I'm glad I didn't marry there)... This guy starts questioning me on the steps like I'm some rebellious kid who just totaled his car.... He was actually mocking me for "not having a limo" and having a small guest list... He even suggested I was probably ashamed of the church (seriously, his attitude was awful—zero warmth, zero tact), blah blah blah.... I walked out of that office with my paperwork feeling like absolute crap.
The church where I wanted to marry is basically in a different city... But... those Franciscans totally won me over, both ten years ago and again last year....
Anyway... check out the thread about wedding paperwork and the other wedding topics...
The bottom line is that you guys were looking for what you're "allowed" to do... If I were you, I'd just find a different venue, purely for the good vibes you need on your wedding day... You don't need to be rearranging guests or stressing out on the big day... And there's plenty of that too, since these girls have all sorts of crazy experiences....
Good luck...
Dennis Ramos said:I mean, I've tried searching for those specific thirteen-dollar glass globes
for floating candles, but they're nowhere to be found. Even at places like Target or HomeGoods, they're easily forty bucks$17—it's just not happening!
