Dealing with the teenage years is a nightmare

silentraven6 said:Basically, whoever’s doing the cooking decides what’s on the menu. Lately, that’s been me, mostly just because of how things are going at home right now.

I don't believe in questioning what's served at the table—I can be pretty old-school and stubborn about that.

I try to keep things varied, and I make sure not to cook any messy, heavy dishes that nobody actually enjoys. And yeah, I definitely respect food preferences, but I have zero patience for those fake dietary "dislikes." Like, if someone claims they hate peas, but then I catch them eating them in a pilaf? Please.

It’s especially necessary when nobody else has an ounce of inspiration for what to eat, or when I’ve ended up being the sole cook for months straight just because that’s how the household dynamic fell into place.

I don't fall for the nonsense from other people's kids either. Honestly, half the time I end up babysitting, and then later on, they’re actually coming to me asking for my recipes for sautéed greens, kale, or green beans.

I really think most people these days just don't know how to cook. When I hear someone say they just toss kale into some boiling water with carrots and potatoes... honestly, it makes me want to throw a shovel at them. I wouldn't touch that mushy, overcooked mess if you paid me.

🤣

I really think people just don't know their way around a kitchen 👍

It’s not like I stopped eating peas when I was three 😉—well, more like until I turned three
—
There are certain things I just can't stand, so I don't bother cooking them... take sautéed leeks or kale, for instance
. Although, we do eat kale sautéed in garlic—sort of how you'd prep spinach—and I throw leeks into just about everything: Chinese dishes, risotto, even hearty soups
.
We make creamy soups out of pretty much any veggie sitting in the fridge. Yesterday, I had a bunch of carrots left over that were getting a bit soft, so I decided to use them along with some sweet potatoes... I started by sautéing some onions, then tossed in a little potato and cauliflower, and honestly? It was incredible. My little guy polished off three big spoonfuls 🙂

Anthony Garcia19 said:Spot on, mistydrifter55. I'm with you. 😉 I agree on one thing. Not buying someone a new toothbrush isn't exactly psychological warfare or neglect. Everything. Just by ignoring what the kid says.

If I don't buy my kid a new glass, it means sitting them down for a real talk about value. I want them to understand that just because we made a mistake with a purchase doesn't mean we toss it in the trash—even if it’s just something small. We'll wait until this one actually wears out before replacing it with a new one. And since they've already shown an interest in picking it out, I'll let them help me choose the next one.

That way, kids learn to value the hard work behind a purchase rather than just the stuff itself. If they get used to constantly picking up "new glassware," they’ll just fall into that typical consumerist trap—always wanting more and never feeling satisfied, no matter what they own. Worst of all, they'll miss out on learning to respect the effort someone put into making every single product.

@SummerNight, since I didn't want to start a whole new thread, I’ll just touch on that "backup lunch" idea here. Look, we aren't in boot camp or serving time in prison, but we can still learn to appreciate the effort someone puts into a meal. It’s good to remember that other people don't exist just to cater to our every whim. Sometimes, you just eat what's on the table, even if it isn't your favorite. It isn't poison, after all, and the person who cooked it—someone we love—definitely deserves a little credit for their time.

A ten-year-old can definitely wrap their head around an explanation like that. Honestly, I think teaching them that is way more important than just giving in to a meltdown over wanting a different colored cup or picking a meal that doesn't match what everyone else is eating.

If we’re calling that profile a toxic parent today, it just proves how skewed our modern values have become. It’s all coming back to haunt us. We're seeing this massive surge in selfishness and constant dissatisfaction the second someone can't immediately grab their next shiny new toy. I won't even get into the alienation and loneliness that follows—that's a whole other mess.

I never once said we actually BOUGHT her a new cup just because she didn't like this one.
We went over to the cabinet where the other plastic cups are kept, and I just asked her which one of those she wanted to swap it with. The whole point was that she can't use glass—don't want anything breaking, blah blah blah.

But you people just love to overanalyze everything and build these ridiculous theories that make zero sense, all because they're trendy. 🍿

mistydrifter55 said:I never once said we actually BOUGHT her a new cup just because she didn't like this one.
We went over to the cabinet where the other plastic cups are kept, and I just asked her which one of those she wanted to swap it with. The whole point was that she can't use glass—don't want anything breaking, blah blah blah.

But you people just love to overanalyze everything and build these ridiculous theories that make zero sense, all because they're trendy. 🍿

Even if you had gone out together to pick up a new one she actually liked—what’s the worst that could happen?

Aside from her having a perfect little sob story ready for when the princess starts crying, "it was never my way! You guys are the absolute WORST parents ever!!!11!!! 😬, this is one of those situations where these so-called principled types end up facepalming at their own reflection years later—once the kids have grown up and moved out—because of all the parental nonsense they put themselves through. It'll be like, man, what an idiot I was, making such a massive production out of a simple toothbrush cup....

Nicholas King said:Even if you had gone out together to pick up a new one she actually liked—what’s the worst that could happen?

Aside from her having a perfect little sob story ready for when the princess starts crying, "it was never my way! You guys are the absolute WORST parents ever!!!11!!! 😬, this is one of those situations where these so-called principled types end up facepalming at their own reflection years later—once the kids have grown up and moved out—because of all the parental nonsense they put themselves through. It'll be like, man, what an idiot I was, making such a massive production out of a simple toothbrush cup....

The resident moral police would probably drag me through ten pages of therapy sessions just to dissect my soul. 😁

Nicholas King said:Even if you had gone out together to pick up a new one she actually liked—what’s the worst that could happen?

Aside from her having a perfect little sob story ready for when the princess starts crying, "it was never my way! You guys are the absolute WORST parents ever!!!11!!! 😬, this is one of those situations where these so-called principled types end up facepalming at their own reflection years later—once the kids have grown up and moved out—because of all the parental nonsense they put themselves through. It'll be like, man, what an idiot I was, making such a massive production out of a simple toothbrush cup....

There will always be stories like this. One day, when we're older and looking back at all the foolish things we did, the regrets we carry, and the stuff that actually made us laugh... 😉

mistydrifter55 said:Diary of a Ten-Year-Old Puberty Survivor

- Refuses to use the plastic cup in the bathroom when brushing her teeth. She’s insisting on glass because she thinks it looks "cool."
- Her reasoning? The plastic one is just STUPID.

We don't exactly keep glassware in the bathroom here (much to her intense disapproval), so I got her a slightly different plastic cup to replace the old one—one that clearly isn't "stupid."
🤣🤣🤣

Why not though?

And if they're being used in the kitchen, what's the logic there?

I mean, you can break them in either room—so that’s hardly a valid argument, right? Glass is glass, regardless of where it's sitting.

Honestly, I don't even use glass cups much myself, so this whole selective thing seems pretty weird to me. It's not like they won't shatter in the kitchen if one hits the floor.

Besides, if something falls into the sink, it might just crack the whole thing. 😁

rowdypanther12 said:Besides, if something falls into the sink, it might just crack the whole thing. 😁

Exactly. And honestly, if something drops in the kitchen, you might end up cracking a tile too... Long story short, my family sticks to using plastic cups in the kitchen just to be safe.😉

There aren't any plastic cups anywhere 😁
In the bathroom, there isn't a cup, and honestly, none of us have one—we're just working with our hands 😁

My little guy has always been a glass drinker—just like when he was a tiny baby, and honestly, he’s never once broken one... nowhere, really.
He keeps his glass right there on the side table in the living room, and he even pours his own water in the bathroom all by himself...🤷

Christian Wilson28 said:Why not though?

And if they're being used in the kitchen, what's the logic there?

I mean, you can break them in either room—so that’s hardly a valid argument, right? Glass is glass, regardless of where it's sitting.

Honestly, I don't even use glass cups much myself, so this whole selective thing seems pretty weird to me. It's not like they won't shatter in the kitchen if one hits the floor.

And why on earth do you care why I have my own rules? 🍿

So, yeah—this is just a forum, right? We talk, I ask things. That’s the deal.

Kids at that age basically invent their own little realities because they haven't even figured out what they believe in yet. Their hormones are basically washing their brains out, driving them crazy, and honestly? In those weird bursts of puberty, they’re often just frustrated with themselves for being such idiots. No matter how rough it gets, we’re the adults here. We just have to listen, set some firm boundaries, and then let things play out—whether they learn the hard way or just ride the wave. Even if that means a broken glass here and there.

Honestly, looking back, maybe this should have been explained much earlier if these were the ground rules at home. By the time a kid hits five, they already know the house rules and what they're responsible for. I really wouldn't want to be in a parent's shoes trying to teach the basics of family life to a teenager; by then, it's way too late. I don't think that's quite what's happening here, though—it's probably just a fixed idea, which is a totally normal thing to deal with.

You really have to take a second to look back at your own teenage years. Good grief, you could promise me a castle made of solid gold and I still wouldn't go back to those dark days. It was this bizarre mix of sheer silliness and stubbornness, mixed with depressive outbursts and total frustration. You had all these responsibilities but zero rights, plus all those creeps who'd stare the second you started growing up, not to mention the melancholy and the pure irrationality. Thank God that's over.

Bumping this thread up a bit.
So, how are you guys handling the whole puberty madness? Like, how are they actually coping with all of it?
My kid is turning 13 soon, and let me tell you, the hormones are hitting full force right now. It’s honestly tough to tell how much of this is just biological chaos versus how much is caused by everything else going on in the world—that classic "I hate my parents, I hate myself, and I hate the entire universe" vibe. One minute I’m ready to just give them a huge hug, and the next, looking at the state of things... I mean, school being back to hybrid or online stuff, sports practices basically being non-existent unless the stars align perfectly, and then there's the endless cycle of eating, lounging around, complaining, and scrolling through TikTok on that "educational" tablet she's always glued to...

Anthony Kim56 said:Bumping this thread up a bit.
So, how are you guys handling the whole puberty madness? Like, how are they actually coping with all of it?
My kid is turning 13 soon, and let me tell you, the hormones are hitting full force right now. It’s honestly tough to tell how much of this is just biological chaos versus how much is caused by everything else going on in the world—that classic "I hate my parents, I hate myself, and I hate the entire universe" vibe. One minute I’m ready to just give them a huge hug, and the next, looking at the state of things... I mean, school being back to hybrid or online stuff, sports practices basically being non-existent unless the stars align perfectly, and then there's the endless cycle of eating, lounging around, complaining, and scrolling through TikTok on that "educational" tablet she's always glued to...

Good grief, it’s like reading about my own kid—she's 12. Same exact thing. Just more eye-rolling, pale skin, and TikTok is her entire religion. Then, every once in a while at night, she'll have this random moment where she actually wants to be affectionate and vent to me about the "drama" of her teenage life.

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My daughter just turned 18, and she’s still right in the thick of that intense teenage phase, except now she spends her entire weekend out on the town... I honestly can't tell if I'm going to end up losing my mind from trying to keep up with her, or if I'll just find myself staring at the ceiling wondering where it all went wrong...

Honestly, I feel a little less crazy knowing other parents are also losing their minds on this rollercoaster ride. But seriously, Christian White10, you’re only eighteen—you're still stuck in this movie 😵 unknown. It’s like my daughter just refuses any kind of affection anymore; I can't even give her a quick kiss or brush a stray hair out of her face without her flinching like she just got hit by a live wire. She’s totally shut down to any physical contact from her mom 🙂
The only time we actually get a moment of real connection is when I'm driving her to practice—since there are no phones allowed in the car, she might actually let something slip through her teeth that isn't pure sarcasm or a snappy comeback
My ten-year-old brother is still over here asking for goodnight kisses every single night. That sudden shift into total teenage moodiness is just such a massive, jarring leap 🤦

Back when I was around 12 or 13, my skin was absolute perfection—like, pure gold. Now that I'm 16? Not so much.

Honestly, sometimes I feel like I should just call an exorcist. 🥳 😁

Man, are you telling me your kids are also going through this phase where they claim to hate themselves, everyone else, school, and just their entire existence?
Honestly, I’m feeling pretty down about all these outbursts, especially since I know for a fact my daughter was never like this growing up.
I’m totally lost on how to handle it or how to actually help her get back to her old self; I feel like I have no idea what I'm doing.
I definitely need to sit down and read through this whole thread.

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Kenneth Brown5 said:Man, are you telling me your kids are also going through this phase where they claim to hate themselves, everyone else, school, and just their entire existence?
Honestly, I’m feeling pretty down about all these outbursts, especially since I know for a fact my daughter was never like this growing up.
I’m totally lost on how to handle it or how to actually help her get back to her old self; I feel like I have no idea what I'm doing.
I definitely need to sit down and read through this whole thread.

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Nah, mine doesn't hate school. Actually, she loves it. Life is good, her friends are fine (well, except for those guys in her class—total jerks and complete losers 😬)

It's always the same stuff though: parents, house rules, cleaning her room, or the fact that she has to share a bathroom instead of having her own. It's endless drama, constant sulking, and nothing but snarky comments...