Dealing with the teenage years is a nightmare

mine is probably a bit too big to handle
all those things you mentioned are just for fun. It's recreation. It’s something you do on top of your actual training, not instead of

Carl Green4 said:

Here's a link based on some lyrics I managed to remember. I can Google the rest later.☕

I appreciate that she isn't into that mainstream pop trash or dressing in those tiny skirts. She actually has her own style, I'll give her that.
But look, I'm an old-school club rat 🤣. I just want something with a beat that lets me move. This stuff doesn't work for me.😁

We'll all get through this phase eventually...

starakrpa As I was saying...
My daughter is absolutely obsessed with anime and manga! I actually picked up two manga volumes for her birthday recently, and she’s already devoured them. Now, we're officially on the hunt for more...
I’m just glad she’s actually reading for once, because getting her to pick up a book under normal circumstances is pure science fiction...
I suppose that’s still relevant...🤔

I know she’s been obsessed with that recent anime series about those guys on skateboards, so we ended up having to go out and buy a skateboard...😵
Hunter x hunter was already a hot topic before...

Like I said—she’s a great girl. Be happy... 😍

rowdypanther12 said:mine is probably a bit too big to handle
all those things you mentioned are just for fun. It's recreation. It’s something you do on top of your actual training, not instead of

Well, if it works, then fine. I honestly got the impression they don't bother with recreation at all.

Even if you're doing light bike rides, ten minutes of badminton, or just strolling through the neighborhood, it's really no substitute for five 90-minute training sessions per week.

Whether I’m out on my rollers or just riding my bike, I usually spend my time circling Central Park with the crew. We do some badminton, ping pong, maybe even some volleyball in the park—it's a whole thing. But honestly, none of that really compares to a structured, coached training session. I’ve been looking at the forecast, and it looks like they’re predicting rain again for next week, which means trying to do training online is... well, it's kind of a joke, I guess.

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Starting a new thread today because I’m officially losing my mind. Seriously, puberty is a trip. 🙂

At this point, she basically only leaves her room to eat, use the bathroom, or just act like a little menace. Or, she’ll come barging in and shove her phone under my nose to show me some random TikTok or meme that's just endless gibberish. I try to be a good parent and watch them—I really do—but when she shoves the exact same stupid video at me for the seventh or eighth time in a row, I just can't pretend anymore. There's a limit to how much nonsense I can stomach before I snap. 🙂

And don't even get me started on the "you can't disagree with me" rule. If I happen to not like something she likes, or if I dare suggest that something seems a bit silly or pointless... man, she takes it as a personal attack. It’s like an instant meltdown.

When she starts venting about school drama or her friends, heaven forbid I offer a different perspective. If I say, "Hey, maybe that wasn't actually fair," it's game over. She'll just snap, "Well, whose side are you even on?!"

It's been this same repetitive loop every single day lately. Last night, she dropped the bombshell that she's never having kids. Apparently, she has zero interest in spending her entire life dealing with the chaos of children. 🤦

John Doe, I swear, I am going to start filming her every time she goes on one of these little adventures. Then I'll just save the footage and play it back for her in ten years. I'm dead serious. 🙂

This is all great, it shows he really gets how tough things are with her 😂
All jokes aside, I don't know about you guys, but I always knew I was impossible.
I used to get annoyed with my mom whether she was talking too much in the morning or just staying quiet. 😁
I didn't really care at the time, but looking back, it was obvious that my poor mom couldn't do anything right without it being blamed on her. 😂

I asked my mom what I was like growing up, and her response? She was basically like, "Puberty? Please. I had way more important things to worry about than your teenage drama." 🤣

And honestly, she wasn't wrong. She had enough on her plate as it is. My dad was constantly "away on business"—which we all knew meant he was just avoiding the chaos—so she said I actually made things pretty easy for her because I understood the vibe. If I did act out, we’d just have a quick spat, and I’d stomp off to my room to sulk or cry, and then it was over.

Now, watching her with my kid, she’s all like, "Just let them be. Ignore it. Let them pout, let them throw a fit, just turn around and protect your peace." It sounds so easy when she says it... 🤣

Jason Ortiz5 said:Starting a new thread today because I’m officially losing my mind. Seriously, puberty is a trip. 🙂

At this point, she basically only leaves her room to eat, use the bathroom, or just act like a little menace. Or, she’ll come barging in and shove her phone under my nose to show me some random TikTok or meme that's just endless gibberish. I try to be a good parent and watch them—I really do—but when she shoves the exact same stupid video at me for the seventh or eighth time in a row, I just can't pretend anymore. There's a limit to how much nonsense I can stomach before I snap. 🙂

And don't even get me started on the "you can't disagree with me" rule. If I happen to not like something she likes, or if I dare suggest that something seems a bit silly or pointless... man, she takes it as a personal attack. It’s like an instant meltdown.

When she starts venting about school drama or her friends, heaven forbid I offer a different perspective. If I say, "Hey, maybe that wasn't actually fair," it's game over. She'll just snap, "Well, whose side are you even on?!"

It's been this same repetitive loop every single day lately. Last night, she dropped the bombshell that she's never having kids. Apparently, she has zero interest in spending her entire life dealing with the chaos of children. 🤦

John Doe, I swear, I am going to start filming her every time she goes on one of these little adventures. Then I'll just save the footage and play it back for her in ten years. I'm dead serious. 🙂

I'm already ahead of you 😁—my kid isn't even hitting puberty yet, but I've definitely caught him on camera before, dead serious, explaining to me why he's "never gonna have sex because it's gross."😁

Reading this, where they say kids won't let you cuddle at twelve... fine, I'll stop pestering him out in public, but at home, I’ll do it as much as I want. It was the same way with the older ones.
Mind you, my version of affection involves a bit of wrestling—pulling, tickling, basically trying to kill the poor thing—and some growling too.🤣
And he’s totally fine with it... when he’s bored, he just yells from his room for me to come over and tear him apart.

When he pulls some teenage stunt, I usually just scowl and threaten that I can be just as difficult if he keeps it up—then he settles down.

What really gets to me, though, is that I don't even dare frown at him, otherwise he'll just hover and say, "You're being useless again."
Again??

Amanda Hughes37 said:Reading this, where they say kids won't let you cuddle at twelve... fine, I'll stop pestering him out in public, but at home, I’ll do it as much as I want. It was the same way with the older ones.
Mind you, my version of affection involves a bit of wrestling—pulling, tickling, basically trying to kill the poor thing—and some growling too.🤣
And he’s totally fine with it... when he’s bored, he just yells from his room for me to come over and tear him apart.

When he pulls some teenage stunt, I usually just scowl and threaten that I can be just as difficult if he keeps it up—then he settles down.

What really gets to me, though, is that I don't even dare frown at him, otherwise he'll just hover and say, "You're being useless again."
Again??

Mhm. 🥳Exactly.

You can be on your absolute best behavior for 29 days straight, just totally perfect, and then you make one tiny little comment or a tiny critique on that last day? Forget about it. It's all gone. Completely erased from their memory. I was talking to my neighbor about this the other day—it's like, "Mom, why are you always yelling at me?" even though I haven't raised my voice once.

🕺

Just wanted to see what other parents think about "monitoring"—though I’d actually call it transparency.

My kid is in 5th grade, and up until now, he’s been an open book—grades, school drama, friend stuff, all of it.
Our policy from day one was pretty simple: tell us everything. If something goes sideways, we’ll deal with it together. Better to catch things early, right?

But lately, since starting middle school, some kids have started messing with energy drinks, and one girl even announced she was going to buy a vape. 🤦
So far, my kid is doing great. His grades are solid and everything seems fine, except for the fact that he acts like a total know-it-all at home... but at the end of the day, he’s responsible and pulling straight As.

What’s really eating at me is that he’s hanging out with two kids who are already flagged by the school as "troublemakers."
We told him straight up—you are who you hang out with. Go ahead and be friends, that’s fine, but if I see his behavior or his grades start slipping because of them, things are going to change.

Lately, he’s been asking us not to look at his phone, locking it away, or disappearing into his room when someone calls... okay, I get it, it’s totally normal. It used to drive us crazy when our parents would eavesdrop on our conversations too. 😬
Still, I’m struggling with how much freedom an 11-year-old should really have with a smartphone without parental oversight—like, should we have access to his messages and what he’s looking at online?
I mean, I know he needs his privacy...

My philosophy is simple: I give her my full trust until she gives me a reason not to. And she knows that.
I honestly don't see what I'd gain from snooping through her phone. If I do it behind her back and she finds out, I’m the one who loses her trust. If she catches me, she'll just realize I don't trust her anyway, and then she'll just start hiding anything she doesn't want me to see.
Kids aren't stupid; they mostly use Snapchat where everything disappears anyway. I know which parents in the school district are constantly reading texts, and I know exactly how kids find ways to get around it.
😁

It’s pretty much the same story over here—only difference is he’s sharing way less with the family than he used to... I guess he’s just craving that privacy now.
I can't help but worry, though, because peer pressure is hitting hard lately. It feels like his friends are becoming his whole world, and sometimes those "friends" are nothing but trouble, which is where my anxiety kicks in.
Puberty, man. It’s definitely that.
I know I’ve gotta get used to him growing up and finding his own way, but I guess my biggest fear is him heading down the wrong path and us losing that sense of trust we have...

Trust is earned, plain and simple.

We haven’t really hit any major bumps in the road yet. She messes up occasionally, sure, but it’s always just silly stuff. Honestly, I get the feeling she exaggerates the little things sometimes just because she doesn't want to look like a total tattletale to her mom.

And then, give it a day or two, and she'll come clean about it. 🙄 She’s never actually a liar. It’s not like she’s being malicious or anything. 😁

We sat her down a long time ago and told her we don't need to know every single detail—everyone deserves a little privacy. If she ever truly blew it and hid something huge, or started lying to cover her tracks, I still wouldn't be out there snooping through her texts. To me, checking a kid's phone like that is just degrading. I’d much rather just take the phone away entirely than play detective.

I tend to just skim through the messages late at night once everyone settles down—mostly because I’m a bit worried about what people are actually saying, I guess. So far, things have been relatively fine; nothing too extreme. But there was an incident in class recently involving a report about some kind of bullying over text messages.

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I have no idea what it means to "skim through messages" while someone is asleep. And what if there’s something you don't agree with? Are you supposed to react instantly? That’s how they'll know you actually read it. If you don't respond, then reading things in secret is completely pointless.

We used to keep journals, and they could have been sitting right there on the kitchen table, and our parents—or even our siblings—wouldn't have touched them or read a single word. That was the most important part. We only shared the things that actually mattered.

Checking someone's phone should only be permitted if it belongs to the person doing the checking. Even when the police show up to search an apartment, they are required to have witnesses present.

Jacob Lopez2 said:I have no idea what it means to "skim through messages" while someone is asleep. And what if there’s something you don't agree with? Are you supposed to react instantly? That’s how they'll know you actually read it. If you don't respond, then reading things in secret is completely pointless.

We used to keep journals, and they could have been sitting right there on the kitchen table, and our parents—or even our siblings—wouldn't have touched them or read a single word. That was the most important part. We only shared the things that actually mattered.

Checking someone's phone should only be permitted if it belongs to the person doing the checking. Even when the police show up to search an apartment, they are required to have witnesses present.

Of course I would react. If someone were sending her filth, threats, or insults, I'd take screenshots and report it to the police immediately.
In any case, there was that Viber group for dummy corp (the little one's name). What some people were posting in there... honestly, that's not just a matter for the police; those people probably need professional help.

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mellowskipper said:Of course I would react. If someone were sending her filth, threats, or insults, I'd take screenshots and report it to the police immediately.
In any case, there was that Viber group for dummy corp (the little one's name). What some people were posting in there... honestly, that's not just a matter for the police; those people probably need professional help.

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But why are you reading things behind her back? You have a child, and now you're claiming this kind of filth shouldn't be written. That people can go to jail for it. Are you expecting her to tell you if things escalate, or are you expecting her to stop talking to people like that?

I’m assuming she’s over 12 if she’s even messaging people, and if she’s actually participating in this garbage, then it affects her too. Real communication matters more than snooping through her messages.

And if she isn't mature enough to realize she shouldn't be talking to people like that, then I would just shut down her chat privileges entirely.

Jacob Lopez2 said:But why are you reading things behind her back? You have a child, and now you're claiming this kind of filth shouldn't be written. That people can go to jail for it. Are you expecting her to tell you if things escalate, or are you expecting her to stop talking to people like that?

I’m assuming she’s over 12 if she’s even messaging people, and if she’s actually participating in this garbage, then it affects her too. Real communication matters more than snooping through her messages.

And if she isn't mature enough to realize she shouldn't be talking to people like that, then I would just shut down her chat privileges entirely.

She just turned 12, so naturally, we talk about everything. She understands what's going on and has never been part of any of that mess. What worries me more is when someone writes to her and she stays quiet for some reason. As for cutting off the chat—I don't think so. There's this one little girl in her class who isn't allowed to have social media, yet somehow she ends up having it all under a fake name anyway. I’d rather let them have it but keep an eye on things.
It reminds me of how they used to ban cigarettes from us older folks back in the day. It works right up until the first puff...

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