Loving humanity

shipka said:Disgust and hatred? Honestly, those feelings usually reveal way more about you than the thing you're actually reacting to. It’s almost always just a cocktail of frustration, fear, or grief bubbling up to the surface...

It works the exact same way with positive vibes. 🙂 When you feel warmth or love toward someone else, that’s mostly a reflection of your own internal state. (Extreme circumstances aside, of course.)

We all have this funny little bias where we assume if someone finds us repulsive, it's their fault—but the second someone shows us affection, we jump at the chance to believe we're the ones who earned it. 😉

Enchantress said:I wouldn't call it rare, I guess. It seems to me that everyone experiences those sudden surges of affection—where you just feel this intense urge to hug someone, kiss them, or just be close to them—more or less frequently depending on how much you like certain people. But, I don't think it really has anything to do with some sort of selfless love for humanity... or even necessarily with the person being "dear" to you in the first place. 😉

You're talking about a selfish kind of desire, then. If that's the case, it might apply to Silence and her mistress too. The real question is—is the mistress actually getting anything out of it?

coastalorca3 said:You're talking about a selfish kind of desire. If that's the case, it could just as easily apply to Silence and her mistress. The real question is—is the mistress actually gaining anything from all this?

I think you missed my point.
What I mean is that people often get this sudden, spontaneous urge to hug someone, kiss them, or just do something sweet for them out of nowhere. It’s not planned. It isn't necessarily selfish, and it isn't some grand act of nobility either—it just happens. 🙂 Don't you ever feel that way? 😉
As for whether the mistress "gets" something out of it? I don't know her. Most people love receiving affection and attention, one way or another, though I know there are plenty of folks who find it totally off-putting.

bozanstvena333 said:http://home.comcast.net/~chakra_system/second.html the sacral chakra... apparently that's the only one she has open.😁

So what? 😁 I'm pretty sure coastalorca3 already knows that. 🤣

Enchantress said:You missed my point.
I'm talking about those moments where you just suddenly feel the urge to hug someone, kiss them, or do something sweet for them out of nowhere. No big reason, no special occasion—it just hits you. 🙂 Doesn't that ever happen to you? 😉>

Not really. 😁

masterblaster said:Not me. 😁

Wait—are we actually talking about hugging complete strangers on the sidewalk here, or are you saying you never feel the urge to give someone you love a hug? Because those are two very different conversations... 🤔

hollowviper72 said:Hold on, are we talking about hugging random strangers on the street here, or are you saying you never feel like giving someone you actually care about a hug? 🤔

Well, it depends on how close we are. 😬

I don't know, just generally speaking... no. I'm not really the type to hug or kiss my friends. Sometimes I might grab someone by the arm, but honestly, that’s pretty much the peak of physical intimacy for me.
Basically, I keep all that physical stuff reserved for my partner.

masterblaster said:Well, I guess it depends on how close you are. 😬

Personally, I don't really go around hugging or kissing my friends—not really. Sometimes I might grab someone by the arm, but honestly, that’s pretty much the peak of physical intimacy for me.
For the most part, I keep all that physical stuff strictly reserved for whoever I'm dating.

I don't know... now that I'm thinking about it, even though I actually love physical touch, I rarely feel "close" enough to people to just do it easily—even something as simple as a pat on the shoulder. I always end up freezing up if a girl grabs my arm when we aren't even dating... 🙄

So, what does that even say about me? Like, when you have this urge to hug someone, but you almost never actually follow through? Where am I at with this? Does it mean I don't "love" people, or is it more that people just don't love me? 😁

hollowviper72 said:So, what does that even mean? When you feel the urge to give someone a hug, but you almost never actually do it? Where am I at with this? Is it that I "don't like" people, or is it just that people don't like me? 😁

I was exactly like that back in high school. It always felt super awkward whenever someone close to me—and I don't mean a boyfriend—would try to hug me or give me a kiss on the cheek or anything like that. I wasn't really into acting that way with my friends, either. But honestly, I grew out of it. Looking back, I think I just hadn't learned how to relax yet.
Nowadays, it doesn't bother me at all when someone shows affection like that—whether they grab me in a hug, give me a kiss, or even pick me up and spin me around. I'm totally fine being the one to initiate a hug, a kiss, or even just throwing an arm around someone...
But yeah, there are definitely people who just aren't built that way.

I think you missed my point. It’s not that I have some weird aversion to touching people—I don't. It’s just that, with most folks, I feel this sense that it isn't really welcome. It's almost like there's this invisible barrier, like your hand is being repelled by some sort of magnetic field... you have to actively "push through" that space just to make contact. When that happens, it doesn't feel spontaneous, which makes the whole thing feel awkward. A side effect of this—or maybe even the cause?—is that people rarely initiate touch with me. So, when someone actually does reach out, I tend to jump a little because I'm caught off guard... it’s definitely not that I find it unpleasant. You know what I mean? 🙂

Honestly, I think being open to spontaneous physical contact is a pretty rare trait these days. I’m not sure if it used to be different or not, but nowadays, it feels like it's just harder to approach people in such an organic way...

What I was getting at applies specifically to my own circle—the people I actually know and hang out with. Honestly, if some random stranger or even just an acquaintance walked up and started being all touchy-feely and affectionate with me, I’d find it incredibly weird. It would feel just as strange if I were the one initiating that kind of contact...

To me, it feels like most people actually have this capacity for tenderness and affection, they just keep it tucked away. 🙂
But then there's the other side: what if you’re projecting an energy that tells everyone you don't want to be touched? Because that definitely happens. 🙂

Maleficent said:..

I’m getting that feeling again—that most people actually have plenty of tenderness and affection ready to go, they just keep it buried deep inside. 🙂

I think you're conflating affection with physical touch.
For me, showing I care means really listening. If someone is important to me, I am 100% present in their world and dialed into everything they say.
As for being tender? I've just always been that way naturally. People feel comfortable around me without me even trying... I don't need to touch them to make them feel at ease. It's just the kind of warmth I radiate. That's all there is to it.
Touch? That’s strictly reserved for my cat and my boyfriend. Everyone else? No thanks.
Look, there are a thousand ways to let someone know you value them. Physical touch is just one option, and honestly, it's one of the more primal ones.

Maleficent said:I can't help but feel like tenderness, attention, and a genuine readiness for physical touch are still there in most people—they're just buried deep under the surface. 🙂
But what if you're actually projecting a vibe that tells everyone you want nothing to do with their touch? Because, believe me, that is entirely possible. 🙂

Yeah, I’ve definitely been chewing on that thought. For instance, when I'm riding the bus, the seat right next to me is almost always the last one to be taken. 😉 And look, I’m not an ugly guy—I make sure to stay clean and groomed! 😬

Now, if I really am radiating that "keep away" energy, how can it be that I actually crave and value physical connection? I'm not talking about random strangers on the street here; I mean with the people I care about. No, I wouldn't say I'm hard to reach. People who actually *want* to be close don't find it difficult. And once I get comfortable with someone, I don't pull away, nor do I find it awkward or strange.

But that initial barrier—that first moment of breaking through—it’s often such a massive hurdle. And honestly, I don't think it's really my fault... I suspect it's more about how alienated people have become lately.

Actually, I was reading this article the other day about how so many people in the US are developing real anxiety just at the thought of *face-to-face communication*... we're becoming so armored up by our tech that we're forgetting how to be spontaneous, natural, and organic in our human connections.

Maleficent said:I think you missed my point.
What I mean is that people often just get this sudden, spontaneous urge to hug someone, kiss them, or just be sweet to them for no particular reason at all. It’s just one of those things that happens (it isn't about being selfish, but it isn't some grand act of nobility either). 🙂 Don't you ever feel that way? 😉
And as for whether the boss "gets" something out of it? I don't know her. Most people actually love it when others show them affection and attention, even if it's just small gestures, though there are definitely some folks who find that kind of thing totally off-putting.

🤔 😬

hollowviper72 said:...
So what does that even mean? Like, if you feel the urge to give someone a hug, but you almost never actually do it? Where does that leave me? Am I just someone who "doesn't like" people, or is it that people just don't like me? 😁

Look, I don't really get the urge to hug anyone. I might want to hug my boyfriend (when I'm in a relationship) because I tend to get pretty attached to that one specific person... but otherwise, I don't feel any need to show affection or even let anyone else know how much I care about them. I guess I'm leaning into that idea of "you just feel it." And honestly, it's true.
Same goes for when I'm feeling down—I don't need anyone hugging or comforting me. In fact, I find it kind of gross. There’s nothing I hate more than when someone tries to comfort me that way.

masterblaster said:Well, it really depends on how close we are. 😬

I don't know, generally speaking... no, I'm not really the hugging or kissing type with my buddies. Occasionally I might give someone a quick arm grab or a pat on the shoulder, but honestly, that's about as intimate as I get.
For me, physical stuff is pretty much strictly reserved for my partner.

🙂

hollowviper72 said:So, what’s the takeaway here? What happens when you actually feel the need to give someone a hug, but you almost never follow through on it? Where does that leave me? Am I just someone who "doesn't like" people, or is it that people just don't like me? 😁

Get a dog. 😬

Or raise kids. Though, once they hit puberty, you basically have to start all over again. 🤣

hollowviper72 said:...

But if I’m really projecting this vibe that I don't want to be touched, then why is it that I actually crave and value physical connection? I’m not talking about random strangers on the street here—I mean the people I actually care about. Honestly, I wouldn't say I'm difficult to touch. People who actually *want* to be close to me don't find it a struggle. And once I get comfortable with someone, I don't tense up, and it doesn't feel awkward or weird to me at all.
...

It’s not that you’re radiating "don't touch me" vibes; it’s more like you’re radiating an desperate need for affection, and that’s where the issue lies.

Maleficent said:I was exactly the same way back in high school. It always felt super awkward whenever someone close to me—and I don’t even mean a boyfriend—tried to hug me or give me a kiss on the cheek. Honestly, I wasn't really a big hugger with my friends either. But I eventually grew out of it. Looking back, I think I just hadn't learned how to relax yet.
Nowadays, I don't mind at all when people show affection like that. If someone gives me a hug, a kiss, or even picks me up and spins me around, it doesn't bother me. And I’m totally fine being the one to initiate a hug or grab someone by the arm...
But hey, some people just aren't built that way.

That's just how life works; people lose their spark as they get older. 🙂 😁

Actually, it's not even about getting older, it's more like... hmm, I'll be nice. 😁

masterblaster said:Look, I don't feel this constant urge to hug people. If I'm in a relationship, sure—I’ll hug my partner because I tend to get pretty attached to that one specific person—but otherwise? I don't feel any need to show off the affection I feel or even signal it to anyone else. I know what people mean when they say "you just feel it," and honestly, that's true.
Also, I have zero desire to be hugged or coddled when I'm feeling down. It’s actually kind of repulsive to me. There is nothing worse than someone trying to comfort me that way.

I can't speak for everyone on the hugging thing, but I've realized that everybody—including you—has their own unique modus operandi when they need comfort. It’s a skill, really; knowing how to offer support exactly when it's wanted, rather than just doing what we *think* someone needs in the moment.

It's true that love is something you feel deep down. 🙂 But I still maintain that, generally speaking, tactile connection in human relationships is a vital element that's being increasingly suppressed. It's a spectrum of expression that seems to be narrowing more and more every single day...