Paul Cook33 said:You’re more than welcome to grab a shotgun and fire a warning shot straight into your own head if you feel like it.
...I really think you should take another look at my previous reply...and try to connect the dots on your own...specifically regarding your ongoing struggles with women...we aren't nearly as mysterious as you seem to think we are...even when we're expecting a baby.
Paul Cook33 said:Hi there, I have a question for any psychologists or psychiatrists out there—honestly, I’m not even sure which profession would best address this: Here is the situation; last year, my then-girlfriend got pregnant, so I proposed to her. She accepted, but then, despite everything, she went to get an abortion the very next day, which absolutely devastated me. To make matters worse, she left town entirely, and when she eventually returned, both she and her mother started spreading these blatant lies, claiming I had coerced her into it. They’ve been attacking my family and telling falsehoods about all of us. Now, whenever my ex sees me, she starts screaming at me as if I were some kind of monster who took everything from her. My question is: how would psychology or psychiatry categorize this behavior? Both the deception and the act itself? Also, her mother struggles quite a bit with her mental health and nerves, so I can't help but wonder if these tendencies might be hereditary. Finally, during pregnancy (she was about ten weeks along), can hormonal shifts be intense enough to cause someone to act this way? We had never even discussed the possibility, and everything between us seemed so perfect and idyllic at the time.
Thanks to everyone for your input.
...you should ask your uncle in New York City...he probably knows everything there is to know about women...
Madonna, Donna Clark77, do you honestly think I’m making this up (that whole business with the red toilet paper)?🙄 Or maybe that skepticism is directed at someone else entirely. Unfortunately, it isn't. To be honest, my specialist at the local community clinic—the one covered by Medicare—is absolutely wonderful and has been so much more helpful than a doctor I once saw at one of those high-end, luxury boutique practices... a place where she didn't even bother to look at me clearly during the ultrasound🙄... and if they don't have those paper sanitary covers on the exam tables, it is definitely just because it's a public facility, not because that's her personal style... (though there's really no excuse for it, either👎). On the flip side, I tend to believe that the folks working in large metropolitan hospitals, dealing with a constant influx of patients (mine is always complaining about how packed they are)... probably have way more hands-on experience with just about everything imaginable. As for the medical instruments, I wouldn't know; I just don't notice things like that...😛
I’m right there with you on that one; I’ve been wondering the exact same thing. During my last visit to the clinic, I noticed a stack of recycled toilet paper rolls just sitting there on the doctor's examination table, and honestly, some of them even had visible marks left behind by someone else's backside. 🙂 As for the state of the medical instruments, I don't even want to go down that rabbit hole... 🙂
Three cartons... that's basically 60 cigarettes😲 gone in just a few hours. I honestly have to wonder how you pull that off. I mean, are you lighting up at the office, or even while you're trying to sleep? I can't help but imagine what the people around you must think—they must be constantly living in a cloud of smoke.
Laura Ramirez61 said:Yes, we actually used to have a vineyard. It was a passion project for both my dad and my mom for quite some time, and I even helped out until I left for college here in the States.
Once the physical labor started feeling like too much for her—and honestly, a massive mental burden for my mother—we decided to hand the vineyard over to my nephew and his family, which means my sister and her husband.
Since my nephew was just a little kid back then, she found a lot of joy in focusing her energy on him, her grandson. Even so, nothing seemed to truly bring her happiness anymore; every task, no matter how small, felt like an overwhelming struggle to her.
I tried so hard to encourage her to keep up with the things she had spent her whole life doing, but she just couldn't find the spark. If I'm being honest, it almost feels like a lack of motivation. I suggested she try picking up a new hobby or something she might have had time for before, but that didn't really interest her either.
I have another sister who lives out on the coast, and by the way, she’s a nurse. There was this idea that my dad and I could move out there to be near her and stay for good, but Mom refuses. Even just the thought of driving down to visit her sister at the beach feels like too much effort for her.
Since I don't live in the same city as them anymore, I used to make a point to visit every single weekend. But lately, even my visits have become a source of stress for her. She gets this intense pressure to have everything perfectly tidy and clean—the house, you know? Even though she was never particularly meticulous, and my sisters and I were always the ones doing the cleaning, laundry, and cooking, she still worries about it.
It’s reached a point where, recently, whenever she knows I'm coming to visit, she’ll fall ill and stay in bed for two days straight right before I arrive. Or she’ll just call me and tell me not to bother coming at all.
The hardest part is that she is fully aware of how this affects me and my sisters. We are losing our minds, and she is essentially draining the life out of us with these constant bouts of depression. It’s starting to push my husband to his absolute limit, because when she falls into a depressive state, I am completely overwhelmed by anxiety myself.
I want so badly to help her, but I feel like I've run out of ideas. I don't even need to mention that my husband doesn't want to visit my parents anymore, and even my nephew doesn't really have the heart to go see his grandparents.
Perhaps the worst part is that I’ve reached a stage where I don't even know what to talk to her about. I'm terrified that anything I say might trigger another downward spiral or add to her mental load, so I find myself lacking the will to even see her until she's feeling more like herself.
I used to wonder, and even feel a bit judgmental, how children could ever leave their aging parents alone without visiting them. Now, unfortunately, I find myself in that exact same position.
To me, this all sounds very typical, and unfortunately, very familiar. You have to learn from the mistakes of others. You really need to create some kind of healthy distance. It isn't a lack of love. Let go of perfectionism and that crushing sense of guilt (hasn't a mother always found a way to instill that in you?) because that path only leads to burnout. As much as you can, try to view her actions as symptoms of an illness rather than personal attacks against you. You cannot "fix" her—most likely, you can't—so please don't take this responsibility onto your own shoulders. If you do, someone else will suffer for your decision, and by then, it will be too late. You are young and have so many battles ahead of you, whereas your mother has lived most of her life (and I truly hope those years were happy). Simply put: if you completely surrender yourself to her situation, you won't be able to help anyone, including her. In my experience, while spiritual support might help the family since everyone is being affected, your mother primarily needs medical intervention.
This might come across as a bit harsh, but I really think you should try to accept things as they are (if your description is accurate) and make sure you don't let your mother's depression dictate the course of your own life.
Just do your absolute best, and please remember to look after yourself; from what I can gather, you lost that sense of maternal support quite early on.
I truly hope you have a solid family network or siblings you can lean on to share this burden with.
Continue to show your mom love, even when she's stuck in that state of apathy. Who knows, maybe a new medication will be released soon that changes everything...😢
Michael Rivera5 said: I generally aim for about nine hours of sleep every night, and while things can get a bit hectic with work or family occasionally, I really try my best to stick to that routine because I find it keeps me centered. I don't let much get in the way of my rest! 👍
If I don't manage to squeeze in at least nine hours of sleep, I find myself reaching for the Advil the very next day. Not everyone handles insomnia quite the same way, and personally, I’ve always struggled with actually drifting off in the first place.
I tend to wash my hair pretty much every single day, but since it’s wavy, the ends get incredibly brittle—almost like straw—and don't even get me started on how the color holds up. It honestly looks its best when I just flip my head upside down and let it air dry in the sunshine without using any styling products or tools at all. But I have to wonder how you all manage this during the winter months; do you avoid blow-drying altogether?😕 There is simply no way I can step outside immediately after drying my hair without dealing with a massive sinus infection or a pounding headache. I actually went to see a specialist thinking my hair was just naturally dry, but they ended up prescribing me shampoos for an oily scalp to deal with seborrheic dermatitis instead. It was such a surprise because I’ve spent my whole life using various formulas, from daily cleansers to specific ones for damaged or color-treated hair. Lately, my scalp feels increasingly greasy, and it seems like there are fewer and fewer shampoos that my skin can actually tolerate. Some experts argue that washing your scalp with shampoo every single day is actually overkill and suggest sticking to two or three times a week. On the other hand, some people claim that letting the natural oils build up for several days is the real mistake. However, when it comes to dandruff, I've heard that air-drying is a bad idea because leaving the scalp damp can encourage the growth of fungi, which leads to those issues and eventually hair loss.
Sandra Hayes88 said:Well, that might be your personal experience, but it certainly doesn't mean all forms of "alternative" medicine are just nonsense. You can find charlatans anywhere, including within Western medicine, much like you find them in alternative practices. I suspect the issue might stem from a lack of regulation here in America, whereas over in Canada, things are actually quite structured. There are legitimate schools and universities that hold government certification, ensuring that unlicensed practitioners can't just claim to practice alternative medicine. In my view, it really comes down to doing your own due diligence to figure out who is legitimate and who isn't. And honestly, actions always speak louder than words.
From what I understand about the situation in America, there aren't established university programs for this; it’s likely just short courses that wrap up quickly, much like a modeling seminar or a quick workshop. (Though continuing education after a degree is a different matter entirely). One doesn't exactly enroll in medical school for fun, as the workload is incredibly grueling. But how are we supposed to discern who is trustworthy without being our own guinea pigs? If you refuse to be an experimental subject and you don't accept scientific evidence, then I suppose you're left with those so-called user testimonials—the kind of miracle stories you see on late-night TV infomercials promising you can lose weight healthily without ever giving up your favorite foods.
There was recently a very public case involving an alternative practitioner, a herbalist who sold a "miracle cure" to a mother at a price that would make you take out a loan, and the poor child barely survived.😠 🙂 I even know someone personally who ended up in the ICU with issues involving blood sugar and heart complications, and that same idiot actually included their photo in a catalog of satisfied customers.👎 It isn't that we should blindly trust pharmaceutical lobbies, but everything needs to be handled with a sense of proportion.
Amanda Lee42 said:My sister used that, and while it did help regulate her cycle, it didn't really do much for anything else.
If it helped regulate her cycle, that is actually a significant result; even prescription pills often struggle to achieve that consistently over the long term. If you're comfortable, feel free to send me a private message about the specific therapy and the results she saw, as I am genuinely curious.
Amanda Lee42 said:I feel the exact same way about it.
Could you elaborate on that a bit more?
To be honest, I wasn't exactly trained to hand out medical advice, and when it comes to serious health issues, I find it a bit presumptuous to lecture others based on what I think I know.
At any rate, it seems we are looking at a medical theory that is still very much in the research phase. From what I have observed, some highly respected endocrinologists are now prescribing diabetes medication alongside birth control pills, while others prefer to stick strictly to traditional protocols. You can find plenty of information on websites like Merck or Pfizer, but your best bet is always to consult your gynecologist or, even better, an internist you truly trust. Everyone will certainly agree that lifestyle changes—things like staying active, quitting smoking, eating well, and maintaining inner peace—make a massive difference. It’s actually quite easy to prove medically through the functions of the pituitary gland and everything else, so it isn't exactly groundbreaking wisdom, even if us laypeople understand it perfectly; the real challenge is simply sticking to it. Personally, I would be completely open to natural remedies provided they are proven to be safe, because there is a common misconception that they aren't. For instance, I haven't tried evening primrose oil myself, so does anyone here have experience with it? Also, taking Omega-3 supplements alongside Diane or similar medications seems like a smart move for cardiovascular protection, providing that extra layer of support.
shadowgardener12 said:PCOS occurs when sexual energies become overly intense, essentially when we have an excess of energy concentrated within our sexual centers. A long-term solution involves rebalancing both energetically and hormonally, which requires looking at a broad spectrum of our lives... specifically changing our lifestyle and finding more balanced ways to express those energies. 😉
Based on what I’ve been told, PCOS is congenital—meaning it's something you're born with, presumably from the moment of conception 😁—and it involves a tendency for the ovaries to overproduce testosterone, a male hormone that is definitely linked to sexuality.
So, to me, it feels like that sexual energy is a result rather than the cause. According to the latest research, the actual root cause seems to lie in insulin resistance issues.
In any case, I also believe the therapy you mentioned is effective, even if we are just addressing the symptoms. As for debating the definition of "energy," we can always save that for a philosophy class. 😁
coastalmoose8 said:Are there actually any facial exercises out there?
Specifically ones to help reduce facial fat and sharpen those features?
I wonder if you’re referring to that segment George Michael was talking about on TV recently. He was raving about this one doctor, swearing by the results; apparently, you can see the difference quite clearly if you just work one side of your face at a time. (Though I certainly hope your features stay perfectly symmetrical! 😁 )
To answer your actual question: I honestly have no idea what those exercises look like.😁 However, given how much I tend to laugh, talk, and generally make ridiculous faces all day long, I imagine I’ve probably covered every possible muscle movement already, so I likely won't need them.😁
driftingstag8 said:Regarding the whole debate over private versus public doctors—I have a bit of a personal history with this. For years, I actually sought out private specialists in San Diego because I always considered myself far too refined to spend my afternoons sitting in crowded waiting rooms. However, once you become pregnant, everything changes; you have to register with a primary physician under your insurance provider. Following that logic, I signed up with Dr. Salomon in La Jolla, and I have to say, I am beyond thrilled with the decision. She is incredibly thorough, and she doesn't skimp on anything. There is no penny-pinching when it comes to necessary tests or ultrasounds; in fact, her level of care is almost excessive in the best way possible. She runs everything from screenings for various infections and bacteria in urine samples to full blood panels and detailed ultrasounds. Because she handles all the necessary prenatal processing so efficiently, I’m usually finished with my entire appointment in about ninety minutes. On the other hand, if you find yourself at the local hospital, Dr. Clark is an absolutely stellar physician. He has hands as rough as a dockworker's, but I haven't encountered anyone with a gentler touch than him yet. I suppose I’m a bit naive, but I don't believe that being "private" versus working within the standard insurance network dictates the quality of care. One isn't inherently superior to the other. At the end of the day, the caliber of service depends entirely on the individual practitioner and how conscientious they are. That’s why I still think a face-to-face conversation is the only way to truly judge. Then again, truth be told, people aren't born with the ability to please everyone.
So, I’ve already started on my second box of blood cultures, and while the general practitioner told me it shouldn't be an issue, I can't help but feel a little uneasy about it—could this potentially mess with the sedimentation rates? I suppose the folks over in the lab (I've heard some colleagues refer to them as "vampires") are probably a bit more qualified to weigh in on these technicalities; they actually mentioned something regarding turkey (which I just finished having for dinner, hence the question😁), and I'm wondering if that being processed three days prior makes a difference. My current technician is incredibly diligent and thorough, providing me with a full rundown of everything handled in that lab, so I could technically follow her lead for another three days if I wanted to, haha😛 though that doesn't sound particularly logical. Alright, experts, let's hear it, ☕
I just received my referral for some diagnostic blood work. The list includes iron levels, TIBC, UIBC, urea, bilirubin, cholesterol—both the good and bad kinds, I assume—and a whole laundry list of other markers, though you all know how doctors can have such illegible handwriting😁
I’m wondering what specific precautions I should take before heading into the lab to ensure we don't end up with any skewed results. If I recall correctly, there was a notice posted on the clinic door mentioning avoiding Vitamin C, since it might interfere with things, and of course, skipping any iron supplements or foods particularly high in iron for about three days beforehand. I think it even mentioned fasting for 14 hours with nothing but water—honestly, if I could actually manage that kind of fasting, I probably wouldn't even need these tests! Plus, no smoking the day before. Does anyone have any advice on this, or do most people just ignore those guidelines? Thanks so much
🙂 I just realized how much I’ve been struggling lately, though it seems I haven't quite managed to open up to anyone about just how much I needed to vent; honestly, I don't know what I would do without this community😁 On another note, does anyone else here have firsthand experience dealing with PCOS?
I once had this incredibly prestigious, high-priced specialist—an OB-GYN who also claims to be an endocrinologist (!) —who actually tried to convince me I was just being a hypochondriac. She dismissed my concerns about my cycle length, even though it shifted from a steady 32 days to 34, then eventually 36, which she seemed perfectly fine with, despite the standard being 28. When my period would vanish entirely, it was just more frustration. She even used an ultrasound to try and "prove" my fixation on PCOS was unfounded, claiming everything looked completely normal on the scan. Even when I insisted on blood work to check my hormones—specifically prolactin, testosterone, and a couple of others—the results came back within the normal range. Now, I’m taking Duphaston, feeling irritable, bloated, and just generally uncomfortable 😠 because I haven't had a period in months.
Fast forward to now: I visited a new doctor at a run-down, underfunded public clinic—where, honestly, I was half-tempted to turn around rather than sit on those questionable, recycled paper exam covers—and she looked at my ultrasound and immediately confirmed the PCOS diagnosis. She actually had the nerve to lecture me about not seeking treatment sooner, even though the previous doctor insisted there was nothing to see! I’m genuinely baffled. How is it possible that the first doctor missed something so glaringly obvious? I know I’m not a medical expert, but is it really that difficult to spot? Especially when you’ve lived with these ovaries since birth. To make matters worse, she told me my hormone panels were essentially invalid because they weren't drawn on the fourth day of my cycle. I realize now that I should have switched doctors much sooner when I wasn't getting any help, but I suppose we all make those mistakes... Even my dad’s health has taken a hit lately due to some nutritional deficiencies. The ultimate irony is that I have been going for regular checkups religiously every single year since I turned 19, and I paid out of my own pocket for every single one of them—which makes me wonder what all that money was actually for. Thankfully, it isn't life-threatening; medicine can't truly "cure" this kind of thing, I suppose, it's more about managing the symptoms and preventing complications. Still, part of me feels like filing a lawsuit just for the sheer arrogance displayed by my previous physician. 😠