-ana- said:I’m not behind the wheel myself, but I have two relatives who drive on American roads every single day. They constantly tell me that driving culture here is practically nonexistent.👎
Driving has turned into a literal fight for survival. Traffic is a nightmare. Sometimes you actually have to be aggressive just to merge into a lane... if you don't, you're stuck. For someone like me—usually indecisive and passive—driving actually feels like therapy. It forces me to stay sharp. And regarding tolerance (on topic 🙂), there is still something rewarding about pulling over to let someone else go. When they wave thanks... it feels genuinely human.
urbannomad12 said:For those of you in long-term relationships, I have a question. Do you actually believe you were made for one another... or is it just a matter of following the crowd because everyone else seems to be doing it?
Whenever I meet someone I actually like, I view them as potential long-term partner—that's my goal, anyway. Someone to share a life with. When getting to know a woman, I try to see her virtues and flaws right away. I don't believe in hiding who I am or pretending to be someone else. One-night stands just don't interest me at all; you're still alone the next day. Maybe my perspective is a bit too black and white, but that's just how I am...
hiddentrucker16 said:Do you think I’m being unclear, or is my communication on this forum just too vague...😕
I mistyped a word, so I ended up being unclear myself... 😬 I was thinking about you. I don't always follow your train of thought, and while I can tell you're frustrated, I can't quite pin down why... No ill intent intended. 🙂
Regarding this topic—we really need to start highlighting the people around us who seem steady and composed. If you take a closer look, you'll realize they have their own flaws and struggles too. Seeing that makes it easier to view yourself in a more positive light...
hiddentrucker16 said:I’m not just talking about this forum. I mean my communication with people in general. When there's a misunderstanding or they don't get me, I end up feeling terrible. To make it easier, I just label them as stupid or blame them. Maybe they really are right and I'm just mistaken... but I hate feeling like a fool during a conversation. Those are just my own issues, I suppose...
Even on this forum, things can get pretty vague and blurry quite often. It doesn't matter, though. Just keep writing. Maybe the process of typing it out will help clear your head...🙂
Daniel Lopez said:If I were in your shoes, knowing what I know now, 😁 I’d just grind through it regardless, even if it meant staying cooped up at home for three years... 😁 I certainly wouldn't be enrolling in something at the Philosophy Department. Not languages, and definitely nothing worse than that. I'd pick something practical that actually pays the bills, then pursue my passions on the side.
That assumes she’ll even have any free time left. Besides, if you spend your days doing something that doesn't interest you or fulfill you, it's easy to fail. You can't give it 100% if your heart isn't in it, and you'll just end up quitting anyway.
You should definitely dive into books on positive thinking. It really can't hurt... 🙂
It’s also worth adopting that famous "I don't give a damn" attitude. But when you've spent your whole life living in fear and uncertainty, you often don't even realize how much you're limiting your own voice and actions. It becomes an automatic reflex. At the end of the day, you need to pause and reflect. Why did I do that? Could things have gone differently? Why was I too afraid to say this or that... For me, there are times when something unexpected or funny happens, and I just freeze up. Then, twenty seconds later, the perfect witty comeback hits me—something so hilarious everyone would be rolling on the floor. By then, it's too late, and I'm just left looking speechless for the hundredth time. If I were more liberated and free of complexes, I would have just said it right then and there, regardless of the consequences...
It seems you finally found someone you can actually trust and talk things through with. It’s good to have that outlet. I struggle with it myself; out of everyone I know, I only have one true friend, and even he avoids talking about his own issues. I can tell he's carrying a lot, though—he's often moody or just off... Most other people are too wrapped up in their own worlds, preoccupied with everything except what actually matters. As for parents, they mean well and care deeply, but the moment you try to have a serious conversation—usually about my dating life, which apparently constitutes a national crisis here in the States 😁—the discussion somehow pivots to stories about how they used to party at some fancy hotels in Miami thirty years ago. Naturally, I just lose interest... and we go in circles. 🙂 Honestly, I don't have a secret formula for finding life's purpose. If I did, I would have figured it out by now.
Henry Moore2 said:you're confusing people who are sycophants with people who just don't know how to fight or simply hate arguing.... I don't suck up to anyone. I'm just willing to help whenever I can. I never snap at people—which is actually why I had that issue with my mother-in-law and started this thread... even when I get hurt, I don't know how to hold a grudge. I just prefer being kind to everyone I couldn't stand the thought of someone seeing me as a pushover. That's all there is to it... when people insult me, I just laugh it off. I never strike back
Robin Diaz4 said:I start out being polite to everyone. If they treat me with respect, there’s no reason to stop being kind... But if they don't... 🙂 😬
I generally try to avoid conflict. If someone is argumentative, arrogant, or just plain foolish... I simply cut them out of my life. If they insult me, I strike back. I won't just sit there and take it.
Personally, I feel uneasy when I retaliate against an insult. I hate being dragged into that kind of mess.
"Never argue with an idiot. He will bring you down to his level and beat you with experience." 😉
it's so easy to love it's so easy to hate it takes strength to be gentle and kind
We should all try to be kinder, but life happens—parking issues, a sick kid, I haven't even had my coffee yet, the weather is miserable... you have to work to push past all that. That’s why I don't agree that being kind means losing your sense of self. Quite the opposite...
True, I did read somewhere that insecure people are often quite polite on the surface because they fear conflict and just take the path of least resistance. There's a bit of truth to that in my own experience, which is why I made the connection... But I always come back to the idea that you reap what you sow. Ultimately, it comes down to temperament. Some people live for an argument, some bottle everything up until they explode, and others just remain completely indifferent to it all...
If you want people to treat you with respect, you have to lead by example and be decent to them first. That should be enough... once they realize they can't get a rise out of you, they'll eventually just leave you alone. It works for me, at least... though I might just be lucky to be surrounded by such a balanced group of people.
Walter Hayes5 said:I feel like I'm failing my finals. The very concept of "deadlines" has vanished... everything is just assignments, quick tasks, and constant cramming. They want continuous learning now.
Since you’ve already missed a year, you might as well take two or three months off completely. Don't even think about studying. Just wait until the deadlines start picking up again after New Year's Day—likely around February... If you still find yourself struggling with focus and motivation then, reach out again and we can figure out the next steps. 😁
Alex Martinez4 said:Why is that considered a lack of self? There is a massive difference between sucking up to someone just to be accepted and simply having the social grace to be polite and maintain decent relationships with everyone. Since when did being civil become a flaw?
Because I tend to act that way with everyone, and I often wonder why I don't just push back when it's necessary. Just my two cents...