Posts by urbantinker8

Jessica Howard5 said:Yeah, you're right. When I look back at my own youth and see those people, you can see the results in the next generation. You see the direct influence of how their parents acted back then on how their kids behave now. But back then, schools actually had authority; they handled disciplinary issues much more effectively than they do today. Now? It's nowhere near as efficient. I don't know if the issue is just that the staff has changed—younger generations coming in with different training. Kids are mostly the same on average. Sure, parents and home life are key. But what about the school? If the school washes its hands of discipline and stops trying to maintain order in classrooms and hallways, what's left? What about the rest of the decent kids attending class? A small minority starts terrorizing the majority. I mean that regarding both the parents and their problematic kids. Some refuse to face the fact that their kid is a nightmare at school because they act like an angel at home. Others won't accept that their kids need extra guidance or refuse to listen to helpful suggestions. So what? Do we just let them keep terrorizing everyone until they finish middle school? I have to wonder if the school even has the knowledge, the authority, the legal tools, or—if they actually wanted to—the will to make the school a decent place for all students to be. Regardless of what happens at home.

I would say that while the knowledge and the desire might be there, the authority and the legal tools certainly aren't.
The core of the entire issue, I think, is this lack of authority that seems to stem from the general climate of our society.
Like I mentioned before—if a child (and it’s not just happening at home) constantly hears people mocking and belittling teachers and the school system itself, then naturally, they’re going to react with sarcasm to any attempt to correct their behavior, whether that's done gently or through actual consequences.
And as for those parents who simply refuse to listen to feedback—which, unfortunately, seems to be far too many—there isn't much you can do. Really, nothing at all.

Jason Ortiz5 said:Oh, hey, didn't you mention earlier that you really hate it when people generalize everything? 🥳 😬

But wait, did anyone actually say teachers have to be the ones raising these kids themselves? I never said all parents are saints—not by a long shot. There are definitely people out there who shouldn't even be trusted with a kitchen knife, let alone a child. But look, we don't live in some perfect utopia, and anyone can have kids. If you choose a career working with children, you’ve gotta accept that you're going to influence them, whether you mean to or not. It's just part of the job. 🤷

Anyway, Nosorog wrote a really great post above.

I'm not generalizing.☕
In my experience, though, it feels like the situation is roughly 60:40 in favor of those unreasonable parents who just aren't interested in cooperating. I never said that *nobody* is willing to work together.😉
Maybe you didn't say all parents are perfect, but I think you might be surprised by how many of them actually believe they are. And it's often exactly those types who probably shouldn't even have a kitchen knife to their name.
And honestly, I don't think I can truly make an impact on a child who lives in an environment that constantly—and quite often without any real reason—disregards my profession. And unfortunately, it feels like there are more and more of those cases lately.

By the way, I guess I wonder what you would do if you were in my shoes in those two specific scenarios?

Jason Ortiz5 said:Well, you certainly seem to have a handle on that word "demagoguery." 😬

Look, checking if teachers actually know their subject matter shouldn't be the only thing we're monitoring. When you're raising kids, there are just so many moving parts and influences at play. I think even you get that—a teacher could be a total genius in math or history, but if they lack basic people skills or actual classroom management, they aren't going to get very far. It's just one of those things.

And about that favorite little excuse teachers use—claiming they aren't there to "raise" children? Please. Anyone who spends significant time with a kid is playing a role in their upbringing, even if it's just through their attitude or being a role model. If a teacher sends the vibe of, "I'm just here to dump this info on you, give you a grade, and I couldn't care less about you as a person," that sends a massive message to the student. And then, once the kid starts acting out based on that message, suddenly everyone points the finger at the parents.

Don't get me wrong, I'm definitely not saying all parents are doing a bad job. But like the old saying goes back in the day, it takes a whole village to raise a child.

God, I just can't stand generalizations...🙄
Look, nobody is actually claiming we aren't supposed to help shape these kids; of course we are.
But I guess you just can't do it alone, not without parents actually stepping up and cooperating. It isn't really realistic to expect me to perform some kind of miracle when I’m handed a fifteen-year-old for "rehabilitation."
I have plenty of my own experiences where I felt like I was hitting a brick wall trying to reach a student, and all that effort just feels pretty futile when the parents refuse to get involved.
First example.
There was this kid with a massive file from seventh grade—stealing, violence at sports games, fights, who knows what else. His father has PTSD and basically lashes out at everyone—the boy, his wife, his siblings. We’ve involved CPS and everything, but nothing changes. The kid terrorizes the other students and even the teachers. The father doesn't see any issue with it; he shows up to parent-teacher conferences drunk and starts making threats. Honestly, I’m just sitting there waiting for him to pull a gun and start shooting. The school counselor and I spend endless hours talking to the boy, but there's zero progress. Trying to talk to the father is an impossible mission. A social worker comes by, we talk, and still, nothing happens. And it stayed like that... for four years. Just kill me now; I couldn't reach him.
Second example.
There was a girl struggling with anorexia. She eventually opened up to me that she was seeing a psychiatrist, though the treatment wasn't helping much. When I talked to her parents, they just denied there was even a problem and insisted she was lying.😲 The counselor spoke with the psychiatrist, who mentioned the girl was in treatment but wouldn't say anything more without the parents' consent. They were going to send over some medical history, but at the next meeting, the parents finally admitted she was seeing someone, yet they still refused to let us see any medical records. They just kept saying she was healthy. So, once again, I spent countless hours talking to her and then to the parents, and it led nowhere. In the end, they just pulled her out of school.
Et cetera, et cetera...

I suppose I could probably list a million other instances where absolutely nothing can be accomplished without parental support, it’s just that most of them don't seem to realize that.

Jessica Howard5 said:Mayo, sorry if my last post pissed you off, but trust me—my mom spent 40 years in the public school system, both teaching and counseling—so I pretty much know how these schools actually run. I’m looking at this through a parent's lens, based on my own time in the classroom back in the day and now watching my three kids go through it. So, yeah, I think I have some idea what I'm talking about. It’s hard for me to be totally objective, but since everyone posting here seems to be educators or close to them, it makes it sound like you’re all perfect saints with flawless consciences. Sorry, but from my own experience and what my kids deal with, I can't say for sure that everything you wrote is the absolute truth.
Obviously, I'm not saying everyone is bad. There are still dedicated teachers out there—like your mom—who actually follow the curriculum and do their jobs right. But look, I’m pointing out specific examples (maybe they're just a few bad apples in a big barrel) that end up overshadowing the good work their colleagues do. I'm giving examples, not making sweeping generalizations.
Sox
Yeah, the curriculum and lesson plans. Man, wouldn't it be great if things were updated constantly so they stayed relevant, especially in subjects where that's obvious? And honestly, the textbook situation is a massive joke. It's become a money grab for major publishing houses. Who pays the price? We do. Our kids do. It hits our wallets and messes with our children's heads. I feel like anyone could write a textbook these days without breaking a sweat. I don't even get why the review boards exist; their purpose seems totally murky to me. How can anyone claim those committees are doing a high-quality job when the volume of books is so huge? Every single year, seven different publishers churn out "new and improved" editions, and they lean hard on teachers to convince them that *this* specific book is the only way to teach the material. That needs to change.
Sox, regarding those "influential" people...
Look, there's a long list of stuff that needs fixing, but we have to fight it seriously. I'm fighting it myself.
http://osantunamihanovica.blogspot.com/ (Please, admins, forgive me for dropping a link one more time, Nica) You can see what I mean on this site. In my school, there are situations where the principal is directly responsible for failures regarding this exact issue. But a large group of us parents are constantly leaning on the administration, so things have actually started to shift slightly. It’s small, but it’s movement. As for "influential parents"? That's just a mindset. It's the idea that someone is a god compared to everyone else. Personally, I don't give those "authorities" the satisfaction of feeling superior to me. For crying out loud, there are institutions designed to solve these problems. When you file a formal written complaint and demand a written response, the "influence" of these problematic kids' parents suddenly vanishes. I don't have an issue with them. My principal does, because he gets personal perks from these influential families—and that’s on him, not the parents. Let me explain. We have a guy on the school board appointed by the city. He used to have kids in this district, and he happens to be the uncle of a problematic kid in 6th grade. He’s the one who decides whether the principal keeps his job. Then, they recently hired a specialist who is related to that same board member and is also the aunt of that same 6th grader. Now, this aunt is supposed to handle her nephew's case. Objectively? I highly doubt it. We parents have agreed to give them a reasonable deadline—even though this has been dragging on since first grade—to fix this. The solution has to work for everyone and prioritize the child's well-being, specifically helping and saving this kid. I don't think he's going to grow up to be a model citizen; I'd bet he turns into a sophisticated criminal.
Everyone keeps pointing fingers about who’s responsible for raising kids. Look, obviously we parents take the lead on this. But we also send our children to school with total confidence, trusting that the "job" of upbringing continues while they're sitting in those classrooms. My expectation? If my kid acts out at school, the teachers should step in, correct the behavior, and teach them how to act right. Then, they should notify me about the issue and ask for my help in fixing it. Of course, there's always that subset of parents who refuse to listen to any guidance from the school. They just snap back with, "Who do you think you are? I know how to raise my own kid."
Like I said, there are institutions designed to handle these issues, and they need to do their jobs—even when dealing with influential, high-profile parents. Sure, it moves a lot slower and more cautiously when you're dealing with the elite compared to a single mom working the register at Walmart, but progress still happens eventually.

And I guess that's where the whole thing falls apart.
It seems like a lot of parents these days seem to lean toward that mindset.
They just don't want to hear suggestions, even when you're trying to explain that a certain behavior is actually an issue.
Without some level of cooperation from the parents, I could try to correct a child's behavior until I'm blue in the face, but I'm probably not going to see much progress, I suppose. And honestly, there isn't really any institution out there that can force that connection to happen.

Jason Ortiz5 said:

Hey everyone! Just popping in to say hi. Hope you're all having an awesome day so far! kaže:
So, what exactly is a teacher supposed to do here? In your opinion, should they just step in and play the role of the missing parent for every single one of those thirty kids in the class? I mean, if you factor in five or six grades, that’s a massive amount of emotional heavy lifting. It’s just not realistic.🤷
How do you actually give a kid a top-tier education and a solid upbringing while still making sure they feel all that love and attention you just can't squeeze in when life gets crazy? It’s a tough balance, right? Between the 9-to-5 grind and everything else, sometimes it feels like you're running on empty. I remember back when I was working those long shifts in Chicago, I always felt like I was missing out on the little moments, even though I was doing it all for them. It's a constant tug-of-war between being there physically and providing the best future possible. Anyone else feeling that struggle?
That’s exactly the kind of system you're talking about—honestly, don't sweat it. Just move on to the next one.😉
I’ve been giving it my all, really, but I just can't—and honestly, maybe I shouldn't even try to—replace a parent for a kid in every single way. It’s just not how it works.
Honestly, I’d be pretty shocked at how much my parents expect from me. It’s wild. Like, they have this whole vision for my life already mapped out. My mom was even hinting at certain career paths last Thanksgiving, which—let's be real—is a lot of pressure when you're just trying to figure things out yourself!😉

Look, teachers aren't there to play parent. Period. But man, a little more respect and some actual empathy for what they're dealing with wouldn't hurt—and maybe a little less of that "woe is me" victim mentality too. Honestly? Difficult parents have always been around, just like every other job has its headaches. Teaching isn't special in that regard; it's got its own set of messy issues, just like being a mechanic or an accountant. It’s pretty simple, really: either you accept that every profession has its frustrating sides, or you look into a career change. It's all the same everywhere else. 🤷

I guess it wouldn't hurt if parents showed a bit more respect too, instead of leaning into those broad generalizations, you know? Like the whole "teachers only work three hours a day for nine months out of the year" type of thing. 🙂 🙄
Of course, every single job has its ups and downs, and nobody is disputing that, but it feels to me like a sort of public shaming is most prevalent in education and healthcare. I don't really notice people collectively tearing down corporate managers, retail workers, hairstylists, or even sanitation workers in quite that same way...☕

Jason Ortiz5 said:Has any educator actually taken the time to explain to these kids how lockers work and how to actually stay organized? Or did everyone just point at them once, turn their backs, and think, "Whatever, not my problem, onto the next one"?

Also, expecting a bunch of teenagers to keep their lockers tidy isn't exactly high-level professional expectation for an educator. 🤷

Parents
Until parents realize that school isn't just a daycare where they can drop their kids off while they work (and hopefully not worry about them at home either), nothing changes. It’s like any other business—you have to invest if you want results, like funding smaller class sizes. Until they see that $400 a year's worth of textbooks costs roughly $33 a month—which some people blow through in five days on cigarettes—or until they understand that teachers who educate and mentor these kids are working 8+ hours, not just the 5 hours spent in the classroom, there won't be any progress.
There won't be any shift in the parent-school relationship until some folks realize the school isn't solely responsible for raising their child. A lot of parents just aren't ready to take ownership of their parenting. It’s way easier to blame the school for everything: the kid is aggressive? School's fault. The kid is anti-social? School's fault. If the kid is unhappy, nobody thinks to spend a few weeks actually playing with them or fixing the constant fighting between parents at home. If a kid is "lazy," spoiled, or combative, it’s always the school's issue, never the job of the parent who’s out of the house until 7 PM every night.

The vast majority of parents who are gone for 14 hours a day because of work aren't doing it to avoid their kids; they’re forced to by necessity. An educator who can't or won't look objectively at the reality of our society—which is reflected directly in the family unit—probably picked the wrong profession.

Teachers
They work for a paycheck, maybe 20 years in the field— $1933. They don't just work 5 hours a day. Judging them like that is like judging a judge or a lawyer based only on the hours they spend in a courtroom.
I think teacher evaluations would be totally fine if they were actually handled by people who know what they’re doing. As for testing? Sure, maybe, once they start testing all public servants. I'd love to see them test everyone in healthcare, the police, local government, or even the arts departments.

Look, teachers are working in a country where a ton of parents are basically pulling half-pay shifts just to get by. Until educators realize they aren't going to see a raise unless those working parents actually have more money to contribute to the federal budget, we’re never going to see a healthy economic balance.

If we’re going to evaluate everyone's performance, it needs to be done by qualified experts—not just colleagues who are all part of the same circle trying to protect their own interests. Evaluation has to be competent, sure, but it also has to be objective. All that other stuff you're bringing up, comparing this group to that group... honestly, it just sounds like political noise to me. 🤷

Well, I guess the question is, what exactly is an educator supposed to do in your view? Are they meant to somehow compensate for an absent parent for every single one of the thirty kids in a classroom? And then you multiply that by five or six grades per teacher.🤷
I mean, am I supposed to provide a high-quality education, handle all the moral upbringing, and simultaneously offer all the care, love, and attention that a parent simply can't give due to the circumstances?
That sounds like the exact kind of broken system you're talking about—sort of a "not my problem, go ask someone else" approach.😉
Despite everything I try to do, I just can't—and honestly, I'm not even sure why I would attempt to—make up for the lack of parental presence for every child in my care.
And it’s funny, in a way, how many parents actually seem to expect me to do just that.😉

Jason Ortiz5 I guess I should probably mention what Jason Ortiz5 was saying about this...
I mean, I know not every teacher is cut from the same cloth—that goes without saying—but I still find myself getting this ringing in my ears whenever I think about my old schoolteacher. Even now, she’s constantly bragging to anyone who will listen about how much she got to travel and see the world on the school's dime, always adding that little caveat about how much she would have spent if she actually had to pay for it all herself. It’s funny, I guess, because the part where the parents were the ones footing the entire bill for those trips... well, that usually just gets credited to the parents' lifetime of service instead. ☕

I guess there are just certain types of people out there who are exactly like your mother, so what can I really say about that?🙄
Honestly, the worst part of my job isn't even the actual workload; it’s when I have to wrangle thirty-five—or more, if they're having a particularly difficult day—unruly teenagers on some big senior trip or school excursion. If I had any say in the matter, I’d avoid those trips entirely, even if the destination was basically paradise. I think I’d much rather just take out a massive loan or go deep into the red with my bank account just to fly to that same dream location myself with my mom and my kid. I’d take that financial hit any day over being paid a measly per diem just to act as a 24/7 babysitter in some place like Lloret de, constantly praying to whatever gods are listening that everyone actually makes it home safe and sound.

Hannah Lewis2 said:Clumsiness just drives me absolutely insane! I’m constantly dropping stuff—it’s like my hands have a mind of their own. Yesterday, half the groceries slid right out of the cabinet; thank God the olive oil bottles didn't shatter everywhere. And don't even get me started on how much effort it takes just to bend over and pick things up! 🙂 Honestly, at this rate, I’m just going to stop picking things up off the floor entirely and let my husband deal with the mess once he walks through the door... 😢

That is pretty much exactly what I've been doing for the last two months.☕
Whenever something would hit the floor, I’d just leave it there until my husband walked through the door after his shift.
It’s been a bit of everything, really...😬

restlessheron42 said:For those of you who have used progesterone to help with missed periods, did you run into any side effects? I feel incredibly on edge, constantly tired, my breasts are really tender, and I’m even dealing with occasional nausea—it honestly feels pretty much like how I felt when I was pregnant. I guess, is this just a normal way for progesterone to affect you?

Yeah, it is. I’ve taken it both during pregnancy and for other reasons, and the symptoms have always been pretty much exactly what you're describing.

Hannah Kim94 said:urbantinker8, have you actually seen a doctor yet? It might be worth getting a finger-prick CBC done at the pathology lab just to clarify the morphology, since that term isn't really about quantitative results.

I did, actually, and my doctor basically told me it was nothing to worry about and that I should just ignore it.🤷
Anyway, like I mentioned before, everything else is sitting right within the normal range—including my leukocytes—except for my hemoglobin and erythrocytes, so they put me on some iron supplements for those.

analognomad59 said:Are you serious? Man, that would be awesome if they actually let us... 🙂 I was reading somewhere that you probably shouldn't go eating much cod or its close relatives... they even mentioned salmon being on that list too. Honestly, I don't know the first thing about fish or how to cook them properly... even though I grew up right by the coast... 🙈 You really have to watch out with sharks, stingrays, and tuna... mostly because of that whole mercury thing. It builds up in them over time, and while having tiny amounts in your system isn't exactly a crisis for most people, things change when you're pregnant. You don't want that stuff messing with the baby's development, so it's probably better to just play it safe and skip those for a bit... 🤷

Those other types you listed tend to have higher mercury levels, so they aren't usually recommended. Besides tuna and shark, swordfish falls into that category too. But salmon should be perfectly fine, provided you aren't eating it smoked or raw.👍
I've spent quite a bit of time looking into salmon from just about every angle since it's pretty much the only fish I eat😁. It’s packed with omega fatty acids, and it doesn't fall into that group of fish you're supposed to avoid. Of course, I suppose you wouldn't want to eat it three or four times a week either.
So, honestly, just go for it!😉

vividhawk87 said:I honestly worry that in twenty years, our daughters will be getting through pregnancy relying on nothing but crackers, tea, and vitamin supplements... it actually scares me a little bit.

It’s pretty much like that.🙄
All those endless "tips" about what you aren't allowed to do while pregnant really get under my skin, mostly because it feels like the list of forbidden things is basically everything.
It’s almost as if we should all just seal ourselves away in some sterile, climate-controlled bubble where no one else can enter—especially not pets—and then just avoid breathing any outside air, eat maybe three or four approved foods, stick strictly to bottled spring water, and just lie there for nine months straight.🙄

analognomad59 said:I personally tossed out everything on that list just out of pure fear 😢 alcohol, coffee, Red Bull, Burn, black tea, Coke, all the carbonated stuff, anything made from cured meats (like prosciutto, bacon, sausage...), meat and dairy products that aren't packaged with a label and an expiration date, tuna, salmon, cod, even shark (not that I’ve ever eaten shark, but man, I wish I had the option 😳 ), and basically any deep-fried food unless I whip it up myself...

I just realized I probably need to ditch mozzarella and gorgonzola and all those soft cheeses too, plus any fresh fruit or veggies in sandwiches or salads bought out since I can't be sure they actually washed them 👎 but look, I am a total germaphobe, and even if there isn't some bacteria lurking around to catch, stressing myself out over "what ifs" isn't exactly great for the baby either.. 👎🙄

Salmon is definitely okay to eat; in fact, it's actually really good for you during pregnancy. You just shouldn't go for smoked salmon or anything that hasn't been cooked enough.😉

wearybison35 said:So, basically, having fewer mature leukocytes in the blood—and since granulocytes are just a specific type of leukocyte, we're talking about neutrophils, basophils, and eosinophils—usually points toward some kind of inflammation, though I suppose it doesn't necessarily have to be anything serious. Now, as for whether this could just be a normal physiological shift during pregnancy... I guess I'm not entirely sure. 🙂

Oh, wow, thanks so much! I really appreciate that.🙏
I couldn't find anything useful online, and since my appointment with the doctor isn't until next week, I guess I'm just sitting here on pins and needles for now.

Could someone maybe explain what people actually mean when they talk about "younger granulocytes"?
So, I’m currently pregnant and just had my CBC done. For the most part, everything looks fine—my hemoglobin and red blood cell counts are slightly low, but I suppose that’s pretty standard during pregnancy. However, under the "cell morphology" section, it mentions "younger granulocytes?" I was wondering if anyone might know what that could possibly signify, if you wouldn't mind explaining it to me.🙂
Thanks!

Sarah Adams3 said:Yes. I haven't quite figured out how many women have actually ended up pregnant like this yet.
I suppose I haven't had a drink in three days now, even though I was drinking pretty regularly before.
My fertile window was during these last two days, though.
So, you guys don't think there's even a theoretical chance?

Well, I suppose in some abstract, purely theoretical sense, maybe... but if we're talking about how things actually play out in the real world, I honestly have my doubts.

I don't know. To be honest, all those stories about getting pregnant while on birth control have always sounded pretty incredible to me. I mean, maybe there's some tiny, theoretical chance out there somewhere, but it seems like such a stretch, I guess.

I mean, you really can't get pregnant if you were on the pill up until your ovulation window and then just stopped. The whole point of birth control is that it prevents ovulation and stops those eggs from maturing from the very first day of your period, so missing a pill around day 14 probably doesn't change much. I guess, theoretically speaking, there might be some tiny statistical chance, but we’re talking about something that would likely be measured in fractions of a percent.

rustyrider20 said:Putting on socks is the easy part.
The real nightmare? Pantyhose... first you have to bend over—slowly, mind you—and handle them with extreme precision so you don't snag them immediately. Then you have to bend over *again* to pull them up from the feet to make sure they aren't bunching up at the ankles... ugh, what a workout.

To top it all off, I’ve already dealt with two headaches from the clerks at Walgreens... I haven't even used my pregnancy voucher book yet, but apparently, it expired on August 31st, and now suddenly they’re refusing to honor it. It’s ridiculous—back before I had this bump, they never gave me any trouble about getting a new one if I lost it or if it expired.🙄

Wait, what exactly is this pregnancy discount booklet thing? 🙈
Do I just ask for it at the register, or am I supposed to swap it for points on the rewards kiosk?😕

Frank Jackson5 said:Honey, this isn't the same thing as clinical depression. Honestly, my pregnancy hormones protect me from that—even from social anxiety, panic attacks, or those daily tension headaches that have me sobbing for days. There’s no weakness here, no shakes, no chronic exhaustion... sometimes things sting, sometimes I cry, but this period is honestly a trillion times better than not being pregnant. I'm home, relaxing, staying away from that job that was destroying my mental health. I only hang out with people I love, watch good movies or series, just total relaxation, and my husband is always taking care of me... how could it be any better? I'd stay pregnant forever if I could!😍😍😍

Me too!!!😍
I think I sign off on everything you just said. I guess I've never felt better, and nothing really gets under my skin lately.🙏