Sean Ruiz33 said:Quick poll... would you rather game with a girl who actually knows her way around a controller than one who just spends all her time at the gym?
I mean, come on, who wouldn't want a girl like that? 😁
Honestly, this poll is kind of a mess, especially once it starts veering off on the whole video game topic. I’m not even sure what the point is—we all know girls play games, and they play pretty much everything. Regarding that curve showing women playing less than men... maybe that holds up if you're looking at people who didn't grow up in gaming culture, but I personally know tons of female gamers who crush hard games and absolutely love them. Some of them actually play better than the guys. Is there stigma? Sure. But honestly, the stigma here isn't really aimed at women. It’s more directed at men and their age. Especially if you’re over 30, even though studies show that most guys gaming today are actually in that 30-to-50 demographic. It used to be way different; back in the day, we were playing from age 4 or 6 or 8 and onwards. And those of us who played usually stuck with it as a hobby. I’ve also met plenty of girls who grew up playing video games with their sisters when they were little, and they remember those games so well that they're actually better at Multiplayer than I am. Though, they aren't necessarily better at Singleplayer, nor will they ever be. If I find one, I'll let you know. For now, my reflexes haven't gone totally dull at 30; my timing is still pinpoint accurate.
My playlist is basically just a chaotic mix of city pop and breakcore.
I’ve been forgiven, I’m finally free, I’m a field engulfed in flames.
Just your average, slightly complicated, nerdy, shy, baby-faced weirdo. I'm into video games, manga, binge-watching shows and movies, live music, hitting up concerts, eating way too much ice cream, rollerblading, psych, philosophy, and rocking tattoos and piercings.
INFJ, 30 years old, standing about the height of an Xbox Series X and Two Controllers, working a steady 9-to-5. I don't touch alcohol, cigarettes, or anything else recreational. Also, fun fact: I always match my socks to my t-shirt color. Just thought you should know.
There’s no looking back. There’s no place better than here. There is no "later" or "future."
Are you absolutely certain this is what you’re looking for? ありがとうございます~
I'm from Washington, D.C., and I'm looking for some new friends—ideally people who are open-minded and pretty liberal. Usually, I vibe better with girls/women, but I'm totally down to hang with guys too. Honestly, I don't care how you identify. Just a heads-up though: I’m definitely the expressive type. I mess with different hairstyles, wear nail polish, use mascara, and love wearing bright, colorful clothes. So, if that's a dealbreaker for you, then sorry, but I'm clearly not your crowd. I'm straight, but I couldn't care less about anyone else's sexual orientation. Whether you're straight, gay, bi, trans, genderfluid, or whatever other Gen-Z identity is trending, I respect it. It doesn't bother me at all. Age-wise, I'd love to find people on a similar wavelength, so let's say somewhere between -8 and +4 of my age.
Right now, I don't really have any friends, mostly due to stuff that was completely out of my control. Everyone just drifted away to do their own thing, leaving me kind of solo. Whether they found partners and got busy, or just moved on because we didn't click anymore or they couldn't handle the things I'm into.
Yeah, I’d love to actually go out sometimes—hit up a club, catch a concert, or just go for a walk. I’m a huge talker (it's just how I am) and I tend to be pretty handsy when I gesture. Looking for friendship only, but hey, if something happens naturally, my bad. No harm in letting things happen if the vibe is right.
I don’t know, ever since the weather finally turned around, I’ve been feeling so much better. As soon as that constant rain, fog, and all that other crap cleared out, I can actually soak up some sun and enjoy these perfect temperatures. Summer depression isn't even hitting me this year. You know that specific vibe where you just feel... isolated? Even if you aren't actively hanging out with anyone, you just know everyone else is off at the beach or traveling somewhere abroad, and it makes everything feel incredibly lonely, whether you're actually alone or not.
Man, I honestly have no clue what’s been going down while I was out of the loop—I haven't been around here for two months.
I noticed someone messed with my profile info and swapped out my avatar, so now I'm sitting here wondering... did someone go rogue and start dropping weird posts or DMs while I was gone? Since I can't see the history myself, I'm basically just flying blind based on whatever shows up on my profile (links, my name, all that stuff).
So, if the admins could do me a huge favor and check if there's any suspicious activity, spamming, or random messages sent in my name that definitely weren't from me, I'd really appreciate it.
Honestly, I don't even know how this happened, but if there's any way to get my profile back to normal, please let me know. Thanks!
So far, I’ve only ever dealt with acute schizophrenia—you know, those temporary episodes that flare up and then settle back down, nothing too crazy. But honestly? If things are already this rough during an episode, I can't even begin to wrap my head around what it's like when you're actually living with the full-blown version.
Not super often, honestly. Between my job and all my hobbies, my schedule is pretty much packed solid. If anyone actually wants to hang out though, we’ll just have to plan it out well in advance.
Nathan Wells29 said:I haven't even sat down to watch the movie yet, but I can already tell you're one of those people who thinks the actual film is nothing special, yet somehow lives for every single meme that comes out of it.
Oh, man. I actually sat through it, though. Honestly? It’s so bad that it’s actually good. It doesn't quite hit that legendary "so terrible it's a masterpiece" level of *The Room*, but still, it’s definitely going to be a cult classic that people won't stop talking about anytime soon.
I noticed nobody's talking about the absolute legend and this year's massive smash hit, Morbius. Morbius is everything; Morbius is life. The entire theater (basically me and some other guy who happened to be there) was on the edge of our seats the whole time, just waiting for the sheer brilliance to hit.
When that "It's morbin time" scene finally rolled around, we actually stood up and started cheering because the hype was just too much to handle. After the credits rolled, I sat there re-evaluating my entire life path and decided I want to legally change my name to Michael Morbius—though I’ll probably drop the "Dr." part since I haven't finished med school yet, and I wouldn't want anyone getting the wrong idea.
Anyway, what's the verdict? What do you guys think of the movie?
When paranoia kicks in, it just adds a few extra items to his "nobody gives a damn" checklist. About unknown 🤣
It's actually pretty fascinating reading about how the brain tries to communicate with itself during an illness.
Look, at first, I was genuinely stressed out. It was serious stuff. But after years of therapy and doing the work, I've learned that just because I *feel* like something is happening—even if it feels incredibly real—doesn't mean it actually is. As much as my brain insists it's true, it's often just noise. So now, I’ve learned how to just tune it out and stay focused on what I need to do. When a heavy wave of paranoia hits, I recognize it for what it is: just some crazy nonsense spinning in my head that isn't real, regardless of how intense the feeling gets.
So yeah, you're right for now. I just get a few extra things added to my "whatever" list because I know exactly what's going on.
I get these acute episodes, mostly paranoid stuff. It eventually passes, but man, it hits. I don't really deal with the heavy-duty psychotic breaks that people with more serious issues go through, but I definitely have those moments where I'm just spacing out in the hallways because the meds have completely wrecked me. Like, if I pop a few Sanval, maybe 20, 30, or even 50 at once... everything starts looking weird. Every corner of the room looks rounded, and my phone ends up looking like a Nintendo 3DS with a physical keyboard. But the paranoia? That’s the real kicker. I’m constantly spinning around, checking over my shoulder because I feel like someone is staring at me, whispering about me, or laughing at me. Even though, honestly, nobody gives a damn about me, and I couldn't care less about them anyway.
Sometimes people just crave a little shake-up after a certain vibe or reaction kicks in—they just want something fresh. And honestly, after rocking long hair for ten years, I finally decided to go with a standard masculine cut. Why? Who knows. I guess I just felt like I needed that shift for some reason, maybe to stop obsessing over my look so much. But nope, didn't work.
I know, I know I’ve really messed things up, I've basically been my own worst enemy. I honestly thought I could just do my own thing and not care about anyone else, But after dealing with all this heartache and misery, I finally get it. The people you care about actually matter more than anything else in the world. So, with a heavy heart, I've realized the smartest move I can make, Is to just walk away from it all and disappear for good.
What happened, happened, and man, it feels terrible, Everything that used to be great just feels broken now. I don't think I'll ever find love again. My whole world is falling apart. I'd give anything just to have a do-over,
Because now, I'm the one carrying all this guilt. You just can't function when you've lost the trust of the people you love.
I realize we can't just wipe the slate clean, You can't just erase love or your own pride. And honestly, that realization is eating me alive. Everything just fades into nothingness,
It’s all just crashing down, crashing down, crashing down. Everything turns to dust,
And I just keep failing myself, failing myself, failing myself. Deep down in my soul,
I know that I could never love again. I've lost it all... everything... Everything that matters to me matters in this world. It all vanishes into nothing, It just keeps crashing down, crashing down, crashing down. Everything returns to zero, I just keep letting myself down, letting myself down, letting myself down.
I don't really use anything. Every time I open an app, it tries to shove something down my throat that I don't even want, when all I'm looking for is something specific. Honestly, Free Spotify is the absolute worst—sure, you might stumble upon some new bands, but that’s about it. Paying a monthly fee for Pandora or Spotify just isn't my vibe. If I'm not buying physical media, I just hit up Bandcamp; they usually have these 70% off deals going on, which I think is a total win.
I mostly just encode my own music, toss it on my phone, and call it a day. For mobile listening, VBR 160 MP3 is a total lifesaver. It doesn't hog storage and the quality is decent enough. When I'm back home, though, I'll fire up foobar2000 and listen to FLAC. You can definitely hear the difference in quality there, but try explaining that nuance to someone riding a crowded bus or a subway on their phone—you can't. And anyone claiming you can tell the difference on the go, no matter what headphones you're rocking, is tripping. First off, you actually need a decent amp or sound card to even touch the potential of FLAC. Without that, it's hard to distinguish 320kbps from FLAC, and honestly, most people wouldn't notice anyway. Usually, the real difference lies in the dynamic range if the mix is solid. It's that same thing where modern Vinyl releases, movies, and even video games give you options ranging from studio versions to "night mode" settings.
I really wanted to jump in and contribute something to this thread, but man, I had a total disaster—everything I had saved on my phone (Boris, Death Grips, Alcest, Cult of Luna, Godspeed You! Black Emperor, Tim Hecker, etc.) just got wiped out.
briskbison47 said:Yeah, except unlike the stuff mixed with booze, you actually have to swallow all that crap. Honestly, if I could, I’d kick you right in the ass because you clearly have zero patience and just end up Trapp-ing everything in sight.
Look, I'm Trapp-ing whatever I can get my hands on. Nothing's really off-limits for me—it's all part of my own weird version of therapy, even when I wasn't officially "treating" anything. In the past, I used to do it just because staying home was way easier than heading out and feeling like a total loser, standing in some corner at a party listening to the music because I was too terrified to actually talk to anyone. But this whole Morphine thing? That's a completely different animal.
Carl Brown152 said:I don't know if you struggle with drinking or not, but man—I get you. Or at least, I think I do.
And then there's this whole "just go outside" thing, blah blah blah... Like, is it really so crazy that being alone feels better than being with others? We know ourselves best, right? Honestly, I don't see what I ever gained by forcing myself to go somewhere just for the sake of going. 😕
There is this tiny part of me that wants to head out, but it also wants to actually *find* something once I'm out there. Not just wander around staring at nothing while nothing happens. The issue is, I can't really bring myself to do anything solo. And even if I had someone to go with, that's its own mess. Lately, things haven't been great in that department... mostly just getting a hard "NO." Obviously, that isn't the only reason I'd want to leave the house, but for me, going out is about finding an opportunity for something more.
shadowangler6 said:You really need to move past that black-and-white way of thinking if you want to make any real headway. There isn't such a thing as an objective "win" or "loss," just like there isn't a simple positive or negative in everything we encounter. The world doesn't operate in shades of strictly black and white, and that applies to our emotions, our lived experiences, our deep reflections, and even our most stubborn beliefs... If you focus on doing the work, growing, and only measuring your progress against who you were yesterday, you’ll actually start to feel that momentum. It is incredibly easy to just retreat into a corner and wallow in self-pity, but let me tell you, that accomplishes absolutely nothing. You have to approach yourself with the curiosity you'd show a complete stranger, and more importantly, you have to be brutally honest with yourself.
Don't make it your ultimate goal to just strip away all those self-help delusions about self-deception or forced positivity; your actual goal should be to simply live your life. This is especially true if you happen to be someone who is naturally inclined toward melancholy.
And how exactly do you know what my world looks like? My world *is* black and white. I've got the worst case of BPD, hitting every single symptom except for the hypersexual stuff, which—let's be real—isn't even on my radar. For me, everything is either pitch black or blindingly white. It used to be mostly white back when I was living in this delusion that every little mistake in my tiny universe could be fixed, and that everything would eventually turn out fine if I just tried hard enough. But man, I learned the hard way that sometimes there are no excuses, and there just isn't a second chance.
For the general public, the world is a gradient, not a binary. Everything moves in layers. But for us? It’s either the end of the freaking world or the most beautiful thing that's ever happened.
And look, when you're stuck in that specific mental loop, there really isn't much anyone can "do" about it, right? Yeah, sure, there's "self-work" and there's medication, but that’s a grind that lasts years. Are you really going to spend a quarter of your life trying to fix that, or do you just accept it and move on, finding support through other people or even just through media? Honestly, I don't have the energy to spend ten years or more sitting in support groups just to try and strip it away or learn how to cope. It’s exhausting, and the vibe depends entirely on the people you're stuck with. New people rotate in, old ones leave, it’s constant chaos.
But hey, I'm strictly speaking from my own perspective and for those of us dealing with BPD.