Please understand, you aren't the one at fault here. Your mother’s tears are a reflection of her own internal struggle, not a reaction to anything you have done. She is simply leveraging your empathy to manipulate the situation. It is time to find some inner grit and begin carving out an independent life, separate from the suffocating dynamics of your family unit. In their eyes, you are the "weak link," but in reality, you are merely the mirror reflecting their dysfunction—you are actually the healthiest person in that entire circle. Do not let her, or anyone else, convince you otherwise; you carry no blame for this. She has refused to respect your boundaries, constantly intruding upon your life and causing friction, and your anger is a perfectly natural response to that intrusion. You have every right to feel this way.
Hold on just a second there, Mario220! Are you being subjected to this violence on a regular basis? Do you find yourself getting beaten up constantly? Are we talking actual physical injuries here? Bruises, broken bones, swelling—that sort of thing?
You need to get yourself to an emergency room immediately—one where they are legally obligated to file an official report regarding physical assault. Make sure you document the names and full identities of everyone involved! They shouldn't be allowed to just walk away without facing any consequences. I’m certain there are other victims out there, too. It is time to band together and take decisive action! Surely the legal system in this country has some recourse for situations like this!
shadowheron49 said:It's true that my perspective is pretty damn negative... When I see massive crowds of people on TV, like in China, all I see is a swarm of bacteria and sickness spreading across the planet... Walking through huge cities, all those buildings just remind me of some kind of fungal infection growing on the Earth's crust... I know deep down it's not actually like that, but I can't shake the feeling that it's all just kind of pathological. Even childbirth—having a baby pulled out of your gut with all that blood and horror, nine months of carrying a human inside you... to me, it looks unnatural and terrifying... I'm attached to the people I love, so I see them differently... But when I look at the big picture, stepping back to view the Earth from space... everything looks so ridiculous and meaningless... And every single one of those little bacteria thinks they're so important... when they aren't important to anyone... They're all rushing around for work... they can't see past their own noses... fighting, warring, killing, stealing, cheating, reproducing, and dying just like nothing... When I look at the whole picture...
Maybe it wouldn't be so bad if I were just a little high so instead of fearing all this meaninglessness, I could just laugh at it all.
I find you quite endearing, in a way. In your words, I detect a certain dread of life... a fear of living with full lungs... And perhaps a sense of bewilderment that you, too, possess a right to exist.
Everything in this world... And everything within every single life... There are wonderful elderly people out there who aren't frightened by "ugliness" or the passing of time... or the end of their years... People who serve as immense spiritual pillars for discouraged youth.
The framework you used to describe a life feels more like the "logic" of a robot or a machine. To me, that scheme looks like a defense mechanism—a way to shield yourself from sinking into your own experiences, which truly hold meaning simply because they belong to you. Keep your head up, dear girl. Let our hearts beat, and let that feeling fill us with gratitude. We are all drifting toward stagnation eventually... But! Right now, we are still incredibly supple, and honestly, we shouldn't spend our lives worrying about the end. Off you go!
If your goal is to nip a certain pattern of behavior in the bud—one that, if I’m reading your history correctly, ends up causing you significant grief down the road—then you have a choice to make. If you find yourself lacking the courage, the specific toolkit, or even just the raw willpower to tackle this head-on by yourself, then you absolutely must seek outside assistance. I suspect you already have a very clear picture of what you want to avoid and what keeps you up at night. You are quite adept at observing and documenting the inner mechanics of your own psyche, but I fear you might be getting too caught up in the theoretical. In reality, these issues are often quite practical and grounded; they can be resolved quite tangibly if you simply allow yourself to take that step. We all share that universal hesitation—that paralyzing fear of actually stepping up and making a move. I truly want to see you experience a positive transformation!
Harold Anderson3 said:I actually need to sort out my residency paperwork in Washington, D.C. before I can get to that, but other than that, everything should be smooth sailing.
Honestly, I was feeling so incredibly overwhelmed this morning that right after I started this thread, I actually headed toward the hospital thinking I might need to be admitted. On my way there, though, I decided to pull over for a quick coffee, and after sitting in the cafe for about an hour, my perspective shifted and my mood improved quite a bit. To top it all off, an old friend reached out to me out of the blue, which was such a lovely surprise. I’m feeling much more like myself now.
Sitting in a café is my personal prescription for feeling better, too. Whenever I feel miserable, angry, frightened, or just completely lost... I'll head to the other side of town, find a little coffee shop I haven’t visited in ages—or one I haven't been to since forever—order a beer, write in my journal, or just stare out the window and listen to the hum of the crowd. It allows me to detach from whatever is suffocating me or weighing me down. Afterward, I usually take a stroll through the neighborhood, just wandering around... seeing different trees, meeting different people, soaking up a new vibe. And everything inside me just shifts. I'm glad you're feeling better, and I suspect getting that job will provide you with some much-needed stability in your routine. Fingers crossed.
So, how are things going with that tendency toward addiction lately? We’re all rooting for you! You can see there’s a whole community behind you here.😉 I think you're going to find this journey quite fascinating! Just steer clear of the junk—you know, drugs and all that nonsense—and everything should turn out just fine.
How's your sleep been lately? Are you able to drift off quickly, or are you dealing with those frustrating middle-of-the-night wakeups? It strikes me that this whole situation is truly draining your reserves. Let me know how things went at your appointment with the psychiatrist. Do try to get some decent rest 🙂👋
placidwolf27, placidwolf27 You’ve been absolutely cornered by the Stitcher! How are you holding up regarding laughter and humor as those genuine, good friends in your life? A little bit of levity is necessary to cushion the blow of all this gloom.
mistybison said:Perhaps you could seek some help or look into different medications?
I've even read on some forums that pride and guilt are meaningless if you believe in determinism, which makes me wonder: what feeling actually matters?
Every feeling matters. 🙂
Your belief or disbelief in free will doesn't change reality. You will continue to act as if you have free will, regardless of whether it exists. A logical "realization" regarding the absence of free will is practically useless in everyday life. It simply becomes an unnecessary burden that makes everything feel pointless.
I couldn't agree more with everything stated here! And my own take on the matter: I believe in free will. Period. 😉
Regardless of one's personal philosophy regarding the nature of existence, the fundamental requirements remain constant: we need sleep, sustenance, purposeful action, human connection, physical movement, the act of creation, spontaneous encounters, confrontation, and the weight of choice... And there is certainly much more to the list. It seems to me that those grand "universal laws" we attempt to grasp through abstract theorizing remain perpetually out of reach. Even though I frequently find myself lost in similar contemplations, I always eventually find myself retreating back to the "foundation"—to the realm of concrete, tangible action.
Nancy Lee84 said:So some scientists are out here claiming that being lucky or unlucky is basically just a genetic lottery played out in your brain chemistry... like we're all born with a set amount of "happiness potential" baked in. Honestly, that biological determinism thing sounds pretty legit to me, but there's more to the story than just DNA. I actually stumbled upon this quote by John Stuart Mill in a research paper that goes something like: "Given the state of the world—paradoxical as that may sound—the conscious ability to exist without happiness offers the best shot at actually finding it."
I guess I was just trying to point out how incredibly cliché the whole debate is...
I quite enjoy this perspective. And yes... it is a banal question.
Over at Yankee Stadium, gray herons build their nests in the tops of slender pine trees. Happiness is simply having the ability to watch them. They spread their wings, gliding smoothly through the air, returning with long, thin twigs, fluttering their wings as they land on a branch to offer a little twig to their partner to weave into the nest.
Nothing I get up simply because staying in bed starts to feel like an ache in my bones. Then I find myself craving a quiet cup of coffee and nothing more—just pure, undisturbed stillness. There are days when I feel a sudden, expansive urge to engage with the world, seeking out some kind of momentum or experience. And then there are the days when that impulse is nowhere to be found. Everything is present, and I am here, existing because I am alive. It seems to me that "meaning" is a fickle thing; it adds and subtracts purpose, will, intention, and aimlessness all at once. At least in my case, there isn't some reliable, steady engine driving my every move.
I can't say I'm entirely satisfied; there’s a distinct lack of consistency in how often we actually connect, and that lack of continuity is palpable. On the other hand, my inner circle—if I may call them that—holds me in high regard, and the respect is certainly mutual. Still, our social interactions feel somewhat sparse. What do you think? It seems we live in these frantic times where tasks and obligations pile up so high that there's simply nothing left in the margins for friendship. My own life follows a similar pattern; I have the time, yet I find myself spending most of it in solitude, saving those rare, truly inspiring encounters for those special moments when they arise. Regarding the core question of this thread: it all comes down to the messenger. You shouldn't surround yourself with people who spend their energy whining about others or passing judgment without having the slightest clue—not about the world, and certainly not about themselves. Be intentional about who you choose to share your time with.😉
You’re living entirely in your mother's shadow It is high time you moved out Real maturity requires learning how to navigate the fundamental aspects of life without having someone constantly looking over your shoulder Parents often provide a sense of security that is ultimately an illusion, and they invariably collect on that debt by micromanaging every single detail of your existence Kidaj nalijevo!
Melissa Sanchez8 said:Honestly, you're looking for problems where there aren't any. Life isn't some cookie-cutter mold, and people aren't either. You're functioning, you're making money, and you're doing things that actually make you happy. Just stick to that. Who cares how much your lifestyle fits someone else's expectations? As long as you're good, that's all that matters.
Richard Carter23 said:Physical discipline can be a last resort when talking simply doesn't work—when explanations fall on deaf ears and you realize you actually need to make it clear to a child that their behavior is unacceptable. Since kids are still small, they don't always grasp the long-term consequences of their actions, no matter how much you explain things to them. Even in the animal kingdom, there’s a certain level of physical correction used in training. I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve watched a mother cat swat a kitten on the head or give it a firm shake by the scruff of its neck just to get it to settle down. It’s about making them understand. Now, obviously, actual violence is absolutely reprehensible, but a quick swat on the backside can be quite an effective teaching tool for a particularly unruly child.
I felt compelled to weigh in on this topic—though, frankly, there isn't much to add because I find myself in complete agreement with every single word of this post. 🙂