I suppose we all have someone we feel the need to pick on. Then there are those specific types of people who seem to actively crave provocation, almost begging for someone to push their buttons. Perhaps you happen to be one of them. If someone is unattractive, lacks intelligence, or just feels fundamentally incomplete—all while maintaining that tiresome "open heart" persona—it immediately brings certain archetypes to mind. It’s a predictable pattern, I guess. I’m honestly not sure what can be done about it. Maybe the only real solution is to follow that old adage: it’s probably better to be feared than to be loved.
It’s really just about the freedom of any living thing to simply exist as its true self in any given moment of being. Unless, of course, that freedom gets tripped up by the conflicting liberties of a friend, a sibling, a parent, or perhaps even some complete stranger.
I suppose death therapy is really the only viable option left, because any other attempt at treatment feels like nothing more than pure, masochistic wasted effort.
Narcissism is basically a pandemic in the West right now.
I suppose even here in the States, this kind of egocentrism has become fashionable—at least among the younger generations I seem to observe most often. It feels as though there’s a sort of systemic promotion of empathy deficits; more specifically, those psychopathic and Machiavellian traits that seemingly go hand-in-hand with narcissism as tools for self-actualization, or rather, just accumulating wealth under capitalism. It all seems tied to a sort of pseudo-rationality, where any fool capable of manipulating someone else mistakes their own ruthlessness for sheer brilliance. 🤦 I guess it’s easier to buy ammunition than to deal with frayed nerves, so it might be best not to exhaust oneself dealing with such toxicity.
Ugh, honestly, people like this are just too common to deal with, so I find all this theorizing here to be incredibly tedious and frankly quite exhausting. We really ought to start a thread dedicated to the individuals who actually lack these specific traits. Those are the rare ones worth discussing.
Hello there. Lately, I’ve been noticing some rather strange irregularities with my heart rhythm. The intensity seems to fluctuate quite unexpectedly; there are moments where the beat feels so forceful—even if the actual rate seems steady enough, I suppose—that I can actually hear it and feel the thumping right in my throat. Earlier today, while I was just lying down, I experienced something entirely new. It felt as though my heart simply stopped for a split second, followed by several rapid-fire palpitations before eventually settling back into its usual rhythm. It has been quite a few years since I last saw a doctor for a checkup, if I’m being honest—perhaps even longer. Since I’m relatively young, only twenty, I haven't given much thought to my cardiovascular health. I used to be incredibly active, but I haven't really done any sports for over a year now, and for the last two months, I’ve been even less physically active than I can remember being in my entire life. I guess I am wondering what might be causing this. My apologies to the moderators if this topic has already been covered somewhere, but I couldn't seem to find anything relevant on Reddit. Thanks.
ironrider11 said:Digital evolution. We go from simple binary yes-or-no stuff to these messy floating-point approximations where you try to round off the gray areas... but does that gray even belong in a "yes" or "no," black or white? It’s all just quantum mode, "higher or lower," nothing's clear. Just endless calculations. Or maybe everything is just one big calculation of existence itself—some kind of solipsism where nothing is certain, yet things seem to exist somehow... out of nothingness. But nothing is actually anything. It doesn't matter. It's just perceived reality manifesting, or everything dissolving into zero. A reaction to a stimulus. Or no reaction at all. No stimulus, no... Everything into nothing. Maybe.
Everything and nothing all at once. A free interpretation, if you want one. Just a passing thought.
ironrider11 said:Or maybe it's just self-criticism, or some loud-ass public announcement about what we want—stuff we clearly can't have or reach ourselves. Maybe there's this weird, mystical idea of "uniting" with someone, or treating a person like an object just to feed our own frustrations. You try to "own" that person for a second, then inevitably get disappointed, which is honestly just a way to kill the desire in the first place. Everything and everyone is just there to serve us. Without us, they don't even exist...
Perhaps.
Brian Gray5 said:It’s all just pure idealization, starting from that very first moment you open your eyes and see your sweet mother through an objective lens, right down to the point where you start putting together those little DIY gifts for Mother's Day... It’s even more intense in romantic relationships—that moment you catch a glimpse of a dazzling smile or notice a particularly impressive silhouette under their clothes. Sometimes this rose-colored glasses phase lasts twenty years into a marriage, and sometimes it ends abruptly while you're washing your hands in some local diner restroom...
The real question is: why do we do it? Not that I actually expect anyone here to come up with any real answers 😁
Anyway, I'm sure ironrider11 will jump in to lecture us on the semantic philosophy of psychology, acting like anyone besides himself actually finds that stuff interesting 😍
Why do we idealize on this specific, more receptive level, such as the idealization of a person? Or why do we idealize at all—where does the world of ideas even come from? How does sensory stimulation translate into thought, and then into consciousness or self-consciousness? The idea of idealization is itself an idealization. It’s the representation of the representation of a representation. Is it an objective representation of a collective or individual perception? Not quite. A subjective idea, nothing more? Solipsism? Am I the only one who exists because I meet certain parameters of existence, this, that, and the other? And they don't exist because... they aren't me? Strange. Existence as a formless idea? Does logic, or 2+2=4, even hold up? Is the premise 'non-existent'? Is it always an informal logical fallacy? Does nothing exist? Nihilism? It doesn't much matter; we still walk, eat, and fuck... regardless of whether existence is dark or not. Idealization or not. I notice things—a bulge in the crotch or, in my case, a 'w' shape between the legs... enough, because of the Holy Water and the erection, a physiological reaction, right?—so, therefore, I am. Semantics, philosophy, psychology... evolutionary or otherwise, it’s all just a bit of a joke. I suppose.
There’s this occasional sensation, I suppose, where one might find themselves romanticizing a prostitute while their wallet slowly drains dry. The idealist indulges in perfection, whereas the realist simply doesn't. It seems to me that just as idealization attempts to supplement reality, it inevitably ends up creating a deficit. Take myself, for instance—a young, somewhat overambitious atheist, much like Raskolnikov, paired with her, a young Christian soul playing the part of a sacrificial sex worker, akin to Sophia Marmeladov... That’s essentially how I squander my money. She doesn't know—God help her—the Gospel according to John... the axe, the narrow openings... the grit. There is Raskol, the split, followed by a sort of necrophilia serving as a dark counterpoint to Christian disillusionment. Can one truly feel anything if they lack understanding? Or perhaps, can feeling even exist if the intellect isn't present to anchor it? Sometimes, I think, idealizing another person is merely an act of idealizing oneself through the lens of someone else. It feels like a selfish indulgence of one's own desires, projecting them onto unknown and unreachable entities—perhaps the frustration of failing to realize those desires is just a heavy dose of vanity and narcissism?
A lack of empathy, perhaps? Or maybe just a touch of schizoid tendencies. I suppose they tend to lead with the brain rather than the heart—that kind of person. Could it be a matter of Jungian typology? An INTJ or an INTP, maybe?
Rebecca James3 said:Hey! Back in my junior year of high school, I realized I just don't like people. Honestly—aside from my husband, there’s only one other person I actually care about, which is my best friend from high school. Those two are it. Everyone else? Not so much. I can tolerate the people physically close to me—family, my boss, coworkers, whatever—but if they vanished tomorrow, I wouldn't give them a second thought. When I have to socialize with them, I play along just to meet social norms and keep them happy—mostly so they don't get pissed off or stop being useful for my own existential needs. If someone needs help, I’ll step up, but let's be real: it's so I can call in a favor later. Socializing is exhausting, so I just pretend people are interesting. I went to therapy for six straight months to deal with this "social issue." The sessions went fine, I guess, and the "solution" they gave me was to try connecting with people and finding the positive side of relationships. Of course, I tried. I even convinced myself I was changing for a bit. But after a while, I realized I was just acting again—I still feel absolutely nothing for people. I’ll donate to charities for sick people or animals because I feel a sense of duty, but that's it. When I watch those shows about kids in Africa or intense medical dramas, I don't feel anything—no pity, no compassion. I donate because I feel like I *have* to, not because I actually want to. Mostly, I just stick to solitude and staying on the sidelines. And I don't want kids, even though my mother-in-law and my mom are constantly breathing down my neck about it. Honestly, I’d be perfectly happy living in a cave, but I lack the skills for a wild, survivalist lifestyle. That's the only reason I don't live like that. Instead, I have to work and be surrounded by people I simply cannot wrap my head around. Take dancing, for example—why do people love "grooving" around looking like unprofessional idiots? I get professional dance and the discipline of learning, but not that mindless swaying. I hate it when people pressure me to "get loose" in social settings; I don't want to, and then I just end up looking weird. Even though I'm like this, people in society actually like me because they think I'm kind, approachable, and someone who offers good advice and attention. Everything except the advice is an act designed to make others happy and maintain my image as a "positive person." The advice part is actually legit, though—I look at problems through a philosophical, logical lens, and I've helped quite a few people out with their issues. I always stay neutral. I'm not religious. I'm not politically aligned with anyone. I just love opera.
Are there any other robots among us?
Ahahahaha! That part about the "flailing," 👍. To me, that sounds perfectly normal, since I generally consider myself to be a normal person. 😁
I suppose I’m feeling pretty on edge lately because I’ve been trying to quit masturbating. It feels like my ADHD symptoms have come rushing back, specifically that hyperactive side of things.
Just like any other profession, you really need the right tools for digging. It’s probably best to take it slow and proceed with caution until you've carved out enough room to actually maneuver. Otherwise, the whole thing might just stick to you like heavy clay.
Savage Garden, you should probably just reach out to her yourself, you idiot. Who knows? Maybe, if luck is on our side, some actual love might finally spark, and this whole nihilism thing will finally die a natural death.
I stumbled upon this thread and felt compelled to share my own experience... I hope some of you can relate. Perhaps this might help someone else. That said, any advice is more than welcome. If anyone here has walked a similar path and is willing to offer some guidance, I’d truly appreciate it.
Has anyone ever heard the song Ramones - Outsider? Because that is exactly how I feel when I'm out in public. Like an outsider. I simply don't feel a sense of belonging or connection with people my age. Part of it stems from being introverted or dealing with social anxiety, though even that isn't as overwhelming as it used to be. It's the superficiality that drains me—the constant chatter about who wore what, who said what, or "did you see that guy over there?" I can't fake interest. I think that's a major reason why I isolate myself; I refuse to put on an act. The biggest hurdle, however, is that my worldview and way of thinking differ so much from my peers. We just aren't on the same wavelength. On top of that, I'm a chronic dreamer. I often drift off into an imaginary world where I inhabit an alter ego, possessing everything I lack in reality. I struggle to know who I actually am, where I fit in, or what my purpose is supposed to be, and that leads to constant frustration.
All of this dissatisfaction with myself and my life inevitably boils down to deep frustration.
I am frustrated with myself and the way I live my life. I find myself envious of successful people, those with a clear vision for their future, people with massive social circles, or those in stable relationships. I envy those who have their lives together and know exactly who they are and what they want, simply because they possess everything I seem to lack.
At the same time, I crave change. I desperately want things to be different, yet I find myself paralyzed, taking zero action to make it happen.
I honestly don't know where to begin.
So, that's my story.
If anyone has any advice, please feel free to share it with me.
Best,
Sent from my Samsung Galaxy A32 using Reddit
Maybe try experimenting with your look, maybe go with a grunge vibe or something similar. It might help you open up to people, and then you can just see how it goes. Try finding common ground through different avenues. Books, sports, hanging out, watching fewer mainstream American teen shows, meeting some guys, stuff like that. It's just puberty and searching for yourself; it's pretty normal. Just take it easy. 😁
Alexander Williams512 said:It all stands there. I've dealt with people who have been through hell and back and immediately dismiss "childish problems" with a wave of the hand. Also, speaking from experience, while psychiatric help is important, it's equally vital to actually want to move forward and work on oneself. And this guy didn't seem to have any intention of doing either... Whether this whole situation is just a product of boredom and social stagnation or a genuine issue is something we probably won't figure out through an online forum. I think most would agree that it's better to encourage someone to try finding their own way first, rather than jumping straight to psychotherapy and medication if there's any other option.
It is quite difficult to find the will to help oneself once you fall into that trap of nihilism. You feel terrible, but how can anyone truly assist you in reconciling with a world that feels, at that moment, objectively broken? As if someone could just teleport you into a reality that Leibniz clearly swapped out for this one. And even then, what would be the point? It’s just fundamentally awful. I guess intellectual nihilism creates an emotional state that essentially reinforces the very nihilism itself; it's a bit of a feedback loop. Perhaps a little more dopamine might help shift the perspective, so to speak. That’s why, yes, a person needs to take action—if they actually want to help themselves—but to him, it probably feels entirely meaningless. Though, I suppose it's all very individual. I wouldn't necessarily label these as "childish problems." People often say, "What's the point of searching for meaning when you don't even have a paycheck?" But that doesn't really hold water. If someone is being abstract, well, that's just who they are; it's not a matter of immaturity. Some people accept the facts of existence easily, others struggle, and some simply cannot... you can't really blame them. I am speaking from experience here as well. As far as I can tell, the author’s situation is heavily weighted by tragedy—this obsessive thought pattern and desperate emotional state. He seems to have been hit hard and suddenly by the concept of death and its reality, which led to a total devaluation of his own life through this cosmic paradigm, and then, well, what is there left to do? He's experiencing suicidal ideation and perceives a lack of survival instinct, which I suspect is a consequence of a very real, though perhaps not yet fully conscious, suicidality, even if he knows he is thinking about it. At least, that is my rough interpretation of his condition.