Posts by Ronald Rogers27

ironwolf82 said:After years of dealing with this, I’ve developed this nagging feeling—and I’m about 99% sure I'm right—that people are laughing at me. Life hasn't exactly been easy on me so far, and I think all those hardships and frustrations have just etched themselves onto my face. I live in a really small town where everyone knows everyone else's business.
I'm 29 now, and honestly, I feel like I haven't accomplished much. I'm not married (in this community, people expect you to already have two kids by now), I'm unemployed (even though I have my degree, there just aren't any jobs available), I don't have a serious partner, and I'm not particularly good-looking—which is something I struggle to accept myself. Because I feel like a failure, I rarely go out, and when I do, the reaction from people—both younger and older—is usually mockery or avoidance. It makes me terrified to go out, and when I finally do, I end up looking visibly anxious. Based on how they act, I can tell they think my face looks ridiculous, or that I'm just some loser who hasn't achieved anything in life.
All of this just makes life feel so heavy and low-quality. On top of everything else, it completely crushes my self-esteem and leaves me feeling miserable, even though I've never done anything to hurt anyone. I find myself wondering why people seem to dislike or even hate me...
Sure, it's their right to judge me how they want, but I just don't know how to stop it from getting to me. That's the part that's really eating away at me. Why does it have to be this way?
Again, I keep coming back to the fact that I haven't been mean to anyone or mocked anyone, so there shouldn't be a reason for this. I sit there wondering why people are like this, why they seem to want to see me struggling. Why should they care, when I'm just living my own life?
I really need someone to talk to. I could use some advice on how to deal with these feelings and work through this internally. I truly don't know what the solution is... I'm 29, after all.

Honestly, you could start working on yourself just by looking at this post. You sound so incredibly insecure. If you had any focus, you wouldn't be rambling like this. You aren't just tearing yourself down; you clearly lack the concentration to even see how much you're repeating yourself. You seem stuck in this constant loop of panic and rushing.

You need to find a serious therapist to help you rebuild your self-esteem from the ground up. And honestly? You need a job. You need somewhere to go where you can actually prove what you're capable of. That’s how you build real confidence and start believing in yourself again. 👍

If you don't help yourself, even God won't be able to help you! 🙏

(Never forget that old saying)! 😉

Ronald Rogers27

mistygardener59 said:If an individual genuinely believes they are the Son of God, possesses immortality, and expects to undergo reincarnation—all while maintaining that they can absorb the sins of others through crucifixion and that their personal suffering serves a greater good for all of humanity—what kind of clinical diagnosis would actually fit such a person?

We really need to take a hard look at how much the internet has fueled this weird explosion of "mythical figures" popping up everywhere over the last twenty years... 😲

Ronald Rogers27

mistybison said:People like that often harbor a great deal of sensitivity and insecurity deep down. 😉

I see no reason to complain about misjudging the current situation. I assessed the entire landscape correctly from the start, realizing we wouldn't be able to go far... solely because of her intentions. Prejudice remains a significant challenge within our society. It is essential that we work together to overcome these biases. Some points may fall outside the scope of this discussion, but that isn't the main issue here. The core focus remains my own assessment—whether right or wrong—as presented in my opening post. 😁

We simply don't have enough information to provide a high-quality answer. While most people here have already pointed out that things could look quite different, we have to admit we are still operating entirely within the realm of speculation. 😁

It all depends on what your ultimate goal was. If you were trying to give both yourself and her a fair shot, a bit more tact might have helped. On the other hand, some people truly value that kind of raw honesty, and your words might actually make them pause and reflect. That said, most Americans generally aren't fond of being judged by a stranger.

I've come to the conclusion that she isn't truly interested in meeting up with me in person.

There are plenty of people online who seek out virtual friends or lovers while avoiding any real-world connection.

There are certain techniques used for what could be described as precognition. Regardless, her intention was clearly to have a conversation with me, and surprisingly, she wanted to get to know me quite well through this platform.

Who knows—it could just be a man playing a part because he's bored. 😁

I agree. There’s a huge chance that behind her "leader" persona, she’s hiding someone who is extremely vulnerable and insecure. Isn't it common for highly intelligent people to be like that? Usually, high IQ comes paired with high EQ. 😉

mistybison said:People like that often harbor a great deal of sensitivity and insecurity deep down. 😉

I see no reason to complain about misjudging the current situation. I assessed the entire landscape correctly from the start, realizing we wouldn't be able to go far... solely because of her intentions. Prejudice remains a significant challenge within our society. It is essential that we work together to overcome these biases. Some points may fall outside the scope of this discussion, but that isn't the main issue here. The core focus remains my own assessment—whether right or wrong—as presented in my opening post. 😁

We simply don't have enough information to provide a high-quality answer. While most people here have already pointed out that things could look quite different, we have to admit we are still operating entirely within the realm of speculation. 😁

It all depends on what your ultimate goal was. If you were trying to give both yourself and her a fair shot, a bit more tact might have helped. On the other hand, some people truly value that kind of raw honesty, and your words might actually make them pause and reflect. That said, most Americans generally aren't fond of being judged by a stranger.

I've come to the conclusion that she isn't truly interested in meeting up with me in person.

There are plenty of people online who seek out virtual friends or lovers while avoiding any real-world connection.

There are certain techniques used for what could be described as precognition. Regardless, her intention was clearly to have a conversation with me, and surprisingly, she wanted to get to know me quite well through this platform.

Who knows—it could just be a man playing a part because he's bored. 😁

They don't. Personally, I love it when you guys message me whatever pops into your heads. I should probably reflect on a lot of what's been said. I try to run analyses on it—staying impartial and weighing the pros and cons. 👍

feralhound55 said:Sure, you missed the mark there—but that doesn't mean your reasoning was off. Trust your gut if it’s serving you well; it can be a pretty solid asset in just about any area of life.

The only mistake you made was throwing that estimate right in her face—it’s like you were punishing her for being completely transparent. Personally, I wouldn't have held it against you, but she did. You can't really predict how people handle things like that. Then again, if there's zero chance of building a real connection, maybe cutting ties was the move. Hell, you never know...

I love people who judge someone’s entire existence based on a first impression—and then have the nerve to claim they "never get fooled." 🙄 Not that this was directed at you—but honestly? It’s probably more useful to just watch someone for a bit—maybe because that's my move—to actually spend some time with them and judge based on their actions and attitudes instead. You can always make your exit whenever you want.

Look, if you want to stop getting hurt and avoid those awkward encounters—fine, just stay blunt. But honestly? You’re probably going to miss out on some good stuff that way. Find a middle ground. It’s perfectly okay to have an opinion—it doesn't mean you have to immediately dump it on the other side if you aren't 100% sure yet.

I didn't say anything negative. I just shared my opinion, even if it was wrong. Another thing is that some people just don't know how to have a discussion or swallow a few imperfections about their partner. I can do that with myself. I've been through a lot in life, and I certainly don't think I'm perfect or some special person the world revolves around. 😛

Yeah, using the phrase gotten rid of/freed isn't quite right. Maybe it would be more accurate to say: an amicable breakup initiated on her end.

feralhound55 said:Sure, you missed the mark there—but that doesn't mean your reasoning was off. Trust your gut if it’s serving you well; it can be a pretty solid asset in just about any area of life.

The only mistake you made was throwing that estimate right in her face—it’s like you were punishing her for being completely transparent. Personally, I wouldn't have held it against you, but she did. You can't really predict how people handle things like that. Then again, if there's zero chance of building a real connection, maybe cutting ties was the move. Hell, you never know...

I love people who judge someone’s entire existence based on a first impression—and then have the nerve to claim they "never get fooled." 🙄 Not that this was directed at you—but honestly? It’s probably more useful to just watch someone for a bit—maybe because that's my move—to actually spend some time with them and judge based on their actions and attitudes instead. You can always make your exit whenever you want.

Look, if you want to stop getting hurt and avoid those awkward encounters—fine, just stay blunt. But honestly? You’re probably going to miss out on some good stuff that way. Find a middle ground. It’s perfectly okay to have an opinion—it doesn't mean you have to immediately dump it on the other side if you aren't 100% sure yet.

Don't get me wrong, I definitely form opinions about people the second I see them, but usually, it's people judging *me*. Most guys get a pretty negative vibe from me right off the bat, which, honestly, isn't a bad thing. I'd rather be seen as a guy you shouldn't mess with than some "nice guy" type. Women tend to have very black-and-white views of me immediately. That kind of karma has been following me around for at least ten years now. 😁

I rarely miss the mark when I'm sizing someone up, though I've definitely had those moments where I was dead wrong and took a hit for it. At the end of the day, these are just mental shortcuts, NOT absolute laws of nature...

Nostradamus was a one-of-a-kind deal, and he'll stay that way... 😉
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Anyway, thanks everyone for the comments! 👍

Ronald Rogers27

mistybison said:Have you ever heard the term 'drama queen'? 😁 Usually, when a woman wants a bit more attention from a man, she might exaggerate things over something trivial. In those moments, wouldn't a man just pull her close and say, 'Everything will be fine, honey. I love you'? 😁 Women sometimes use these tactics to draw out tenderness from their partners, friends, or others whenever they feel the need. 🙂 Someone else already pointed out that your best move would have been to tell her what a beautiful woman she is and reassure her that she'll be just as attractive to men twenty or thirty years from now. 🙂 That would give her confidence, encouraging her to step closer and open up even more.

One reason she might share these unflattering truths could also be to test you. We all love people when they are sweet, kind, gentle, attentive, warm, smart, and engaging, but we also tend to lose interest when we realize everyone is just human, complete with flaws and unpredictable moods. If she is insecure—which seems likely—perhaps she is revealing her darker side just to see if you can handle it, or if you'll leave the moment you realize she isn't perfect. She may have had difficult experiences and has been hurt by men in the past.

Of course, these are all just theories.

Two other traits seem to emerge from all of this: a short fuse when living with a man and a somewhat black-and-white worldview that is heavily masked by her education and upbringing... At least, that's my impression from a distance.

You simply cannot truly know a person based solely on what they write or say about themselves. The flaw with online dating is that people only see words. Those words can be misused, losing their true meaning, or they can be outright false because the person is hiding behind a screen out of fear. They can create an entirely inaccurate image of who someone really is. From years of experience with online connections, I can only suggest avoiding long periods of just messaging. People should meet in person as soon as possible to spend time together without the biases formed by written words.

The goal of this thread is to hear your thoughts and see if my way of thinking—or perhaps my intuition—is too loud, too fast, or too aggressive when it comes to analyzing situations and making decisions? 🤷🤷 🤷

You didn't give yourself the chance to actually meet her in person, so you're drawing conclusions based on words that might have been used clumsily or perhaps intentionally exaggerated. I believe that's an overstatement.

Did I mess up just because I was honest? I kept my tone humble and tried to be conciliatory, but now I'm wondering if that was a mistake. 🤷 Probably ( 😕 Would it have been better if I’d just played some shallow, little game? If I had stayed sweet, charming, and warm—keeping up appearances until we hit that point of virtual intimacy where all the masks finally slip? Because once they fall, you see the truth: a fundamental mismatch in how we feel and empathize, driven by totally different emotional weights. Have you even considered that this approach—this way of dealing with painful experiences—is exactly why I’ve been burned so often by women, both online and in my actual life? 😕

I won't even get into my own life story... Honestly, Donna Wood52 has already pointed out exactly how much of a mess I can be! 🤣

mistybison said:Have you ever heard the term 'drama queen'? 😁 Usually, when a woman wants a bit more attention from a man, she might exaggerate things over something trivial. In those moments, wouldn't a man just pull her close and say, 'Everything will be fine, honey. I love you'? 😁 Women sometimes use these tactics to draw out tenderness from their partners, friends, or others whenever they feel the need. 🙂 Someone else already pointed out that your best move would have been to tell her what a beautiful woman she is and reassure her that she'll be just as attractive to men twenty or thirty years from now. 🙂 That would give her confidence, encouraging her to step closer and open up even more.

One reason she might share these unflattering truths could also be to test you. We all love people when they are sweet, kind, gentle, attentive, warm, smart, and engaging, but we also tend to lose interest when we realize everyone is just human, complete with flaws and unpredictable moods. If she is insecure—which seems likely—perhaps she is revealing her darker side just to see if you can handle it, or if you'll leave the moment you realize she isn't perfect. She may have had difficult experiences and has been hurt by men in the past.

Of course, these are all just theories.

Two other traits seem to emerge from all of this: a short fuse when living with a man and a somewhat black-and-white worldview that is heavily masked by her education and upbringing... At least, that's my impression from a distance.

You simply cannot truly know a person based solely on what they write or say about themselves. The flaw with online dating is that people only see words. Those words can be misused, losing their true meaning, or they can be outright false because the person is hiding behind a screen out of fear. They can create an entirely inaccurate image of who someone really is. From years of experience with online connections, I can only suggest avoiding long periods of just messaging. People should meet in person as soon as possible to spend time together without the biases formed by written words.

The goal of this thread is to hear your thoughts and see if my way of thinking—or perhaps my intuition—is too loud, too fast, or too aggressive when it comes to analyzing situations and making decisions? 🤷🤷 🤷

You didn't give yourself the chance to actually meet her in person, so you're drawing conclusions based on words that might have been used clumsily or perhaps intentionally exaggerated. I believe that's an overstatement.

I figured she was never actually going to want to meet up in person. There are certain techniques you can use—sort of like a gut feeling or premonition—to read the room. But she definitely wanted to talk to me. Honestly, I was surprised by how much she truly wanted to get to know me through our chats.

Look, there are probably good reasons for it again, but let's not get sidetracked, ladies. 😉
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I wrote these two responses as a reply to everyone. Once again, thank you all for reaching out. Your advice is helping me make sense of what actually went down, especially since I realized I was judging personalities way too fast. 👍

Ronald Rogers27

Keith Fowler43 said:You really missed the mark on this one, my friend, you truly did! Tell me, did she ever actually ask for your medical opinion or try to get you to play therapist during any part of your conversations? And yet, out of nowhere, you just decided to hand out a diagnosis like it was nothing.😁

It’s pretty obvious that this woman is struggling with her self-esteem when she cares that much about what everyone else thinks, right? So when she gets hit hard by those feelings and you turn around and label her a narcissist, how could she not be furious? She has every right to be upset! If you ask me, you completely misread the room and handled the whole situation all wrong. Someone who is feeling that vulnerable and fragile needs a person in their corner who will constantly lift them up and boost their confidence, but instead, you did the exact opposite.

Did I even ask her to open up about her fears? She just started talking out of nowhere. 🤷

Keith Fowler43 said:You really missed the mark on this one, my friend, you truly did! Tell me, did she ever actually ask for your medical opinion or try to get you to play therapist during any part of your conversations? And yet, out of nowhere, you just decided to hand out a diagnosis like it was nothing.😁

It’s pretty obvious that this woman is struggling with her self-esteem when she cares that much about what everyone else thinks, right? So when she gets hit hard by those feelings and you turn around and label her a narcissist, how could she not be furious? She has every right to be upset! If you ask me, you completely misread the room and handled the whole situation all wrong. Someone who is feeling that vulnerable and fragile needs a person in their corner who will constantly lift them up and boost their confidence, but instead, you did the exact opposite.

She’s got some seriously inflated confidence. Honestly, I think she was born to be a frontman in her real life. I’d even bet money she deals with a bit of a superiority complex. Not that I see anything wrong with it—if anything, it’s actually pretty great. 👍

I’m not going to sit here and complain just because I misread the room. Honestly, I saw this coming from the start. I knew we weren't going to get very far with this situation... all because of her pure intentions. Prejudices. They're everywhere. They mess with how we see people before they even open their mouths. It’s a real problem that gets under my skin. Some things don't really fit this specific thread, but that’s not even my main point here. The whole focus of this discussion is whether my initial assessment in the opening post was right or wrong. 😁

Ronald Rogers27

I’ll try to address everyone’s thoughts here. My girlfriend has spent some serious time analyzing my @ve and concluded that I just don't "get" her. She’s convinced I’m completely misinterpreting her words, even when she thinks she's being perfectly clear and serious.

But if she’s being so incredibly sincere about herself, how am I supposed to make sense of this sentence: "Every single line brings me to a state on the verge of a nervous breakdown."

Think about it... A state on the verge of a nervous breakdown! What does that say about someone who starts sharing their deepest truths and then UNCONSCIOUSLY writes something like that about themselves?

It makes me wonder: what is still pushing her toward a total breakdown? Just think. Based on everything she’s written, there's no doubt she’s highly intelligent, strong, and actively working to overcome her weaknesses.

Can a person really move past their core flaws if every little struggle sends them right to the edge of a breakdown?🤷

I don't know. Like shadowtrucker18 said, maybe I am being selfish in how I look at this. I'm definitely not a narcissist, but I won't get sidetracked trying to prove that—it's not the point.

Two other things jump out at me from all this: she has a very short fuse in a relationship, and she sees the world in pretty black-and-white terms—though her education and upbringing probably mask that. At least, that's how it looks to me from a distance.

The whole reason I started this thread is to hear your take. Am I overthinking this? Is my intuition too aggressive or too fast when it comes to analyzing things and making decisions?🤷 🤷 🤷

Ronald Rogers27

Just a heads-up: she’s in her 30s, and I’m over 40, so we’re both well into adulthood here. She’s incredibly sharp, has tons of life experience, and isn't afraid to show emotion. Honestly, I’d bet she’s gorgeous. She’s well-educated too, always looking to learn more, and really makes an effort to stay positive and forward-thinking... 🙂

Look, honesty matters to both of us, which is why a lot of what you said just doesn't ring true, Anthony Morgan6.

Still, I appreciate you getting back to me. 👍

Ronald Rogers27

Hey everyone, I have a poll for you—one that’s actually pretty big for me personally. Please read through my situation carefully and give me your honest take. Tell me how you feel or walk me through your logic. I really need some perspective here. 👍

So, here’s what happened. I was messaging this woman online recently, trying to see if we were actually compatible on an emotional and mental level. During our chat, she started opening up about herself. In an effort to be totally transparent, she said something like this:

I’m terrified of getting older. I’m scared I won’t be attractive or desirable in ten years. Every single day, I find myself studying my own reflection in the mirror. Every little line makes me feel like I'm on the verge of a nervous breakdown.

I read those words a few times, and my gut immediately told me she was a narcissist. My intuition said her struggles with men stem from being too in love with herself and that relentless pursuit of perfection in her own reflection... So, I called her out on it. I wasn't trying to be mean, but I did challenge her views directly.

She got pissed and cut all contact. Honestly, the fact that she stopped talking to me didn't bother me much, but it stung when she called me conceited and said I completely misread her. She demanded to know why I labeled her a narcissist when she doesn't feel that way and never once explicitly referred to herself using that term. 🙄

The question is: was my assessment objective? Did I make the right call based on what she wrote, or is she right—was I too harsh in judging her based on what she presented as total honesty? 🤷

Ronald Rogers27

Donna Wood52 said:So, I went to see a psychiatrist, and they handed me a diagnosis of apathy and schizoid personality disorder..
I’m not some crazy person out here trying to diagnose myself—I’m not that clueless.

But honestly, people have just become exhausting lately; everyone seems so bitter..
Someone actually had the nerve to ask if *I* was the one being malicious? Please. If I were actually "good" by society's standards, I'd probably be somewhere else right now
just grabbing a coffee at Starbucks with friends.

Kenneth Campbell, don't start with the lectures. It's exactly because of people like you that I have zero desire to socialize.
Sandra Parker, what makes me such a "difficult" person according to you??

Ronald Rogers27, as far as I'm aware, you become an adult once you hit 18. You always seem to have your own little theories about everything. ☕
And besides that, so what if I'm asocial? There are more and more people like that these days anyway.

Who says you aren't clueless? Ask your entire high school class—I bet 70% would say you are... You're NOT cool, and you're definitely NOT "in."👎

Donna Wood52 said:So, I went to see a psychiatrist, and they handed me a diagnosis of apathy and schizoid personality disorder..
I’m not some crazy person out here trying to diagnose myself—I’m not that clueless.

But honestly, people have just become exhausting lately; everyone seems so bitter..
Someone actually had the nerve to ask if *I* was the one being malicious? Please. If I were actually "good" by society's standards, I'd probably be somewhere else right now
just grabbing a coffee at Starbucks with friends.

Kenneth Campbell, don't start with the lectures. It's exactly because of people like you that I have zero desire to socialize.
Sandra Parker, what makes me such a "difficult" person according to you??

Ronald Rogers27, as far as I'm aware, you become an adult once you hit 18. You always seem to have your own little theories about everything. ☕
And besides that, so what if I'm asocial? There are more and more people like that these days anyway.

No, people aren't inherently evil. And you aren't evil either; you're just depressed because you're schizotypal... 🙄

Donna Wood52 said:So, I went to see a psychiatrist, and they handed me a diagnosis of apathy and schizoid personality disorder..
I’m not some crazy person out here trying to diagnose myself—I’m not that clueless.

But honestly, people have just become exhausting lately; everyone seems so bitter..
Someone actually had the nerve to ask if *I* was the one being malicious? Please. If I were actually "good" by society's standards, I'd probably be somewhere else right now
just grabbing a coffee at Starbucks with friends.

Kenneth Campbell, don't start with the lectures. It's exactly because of people like you that I have zero desire to socialize.
Sandra Parker, what makes me such a "difficult" person according to you??

Ronald Rogers27, as far as I'm aware, you become an adult once you hit 18. You always seem to have your own little theories about everything. ☕
And besides that, so what if I'm asocial? There are more and more people like that these days anyway.

Kenneth Campbell gave you a straight answer, but you can keep denying the truth if you want... Melpy, it really comes down to TO BE or NOT TO BE.. and most of it depends on you, your stubbornness, and how much you deny things while your hormones are all over the place.

Donna Wood52 said:So, I went to see a psychiatrist, and they handed me a diagnosis of apathy and schizoid personality disorder..
I’m not some crazy person out here trying to diagnose myself—I’m not that clueless.

But honestly, people have just become exhausting lately; everyone seems so bitter..
Someone actually had the nerve to ask if *I* was the one being malicious? Please. If I were actually "good" by society's standards, I'd probably be somewhere else right now
just grabbing a coffee at Starbucks with friends.

Kenneth Campbell, don't start with the lectures. It's exactly because of people like you that I have zero desire to socialize.
Sandra Parker, what makes me such a "difficult" person according to you??

Ronald Rogers27, as far as I'm aware, you become an adult once you hit 18. You always seem to have your own little theories about everything. ☕
And besides that, so what if I'm asocial? There are more and more people like that these days anyway.

Don't mess with me, kid... I don't fall for those tricks! I don't fall for the tactics of much more experienced people (like the top US lawyers I indirectly work with here in the States), so what chance do you think you have with your amateur moves... 😂

Like I said, I can offer you a hand... But not to drag you into an argument, rather to pump you full of POSITIVE energy and pull you toward the Sun! 👍

Ronald Rogers27

Donna Wood52 said:Yeah, call me antisocial if you want—I don't really care. It’s become my lifestyle at this point, and honestly? I've grown to prefer it.
I've just been burned by people far too many times; I'm jaded, plain and simple, and I feel most at peace when I'm flying solo.
That’s actually why I started this thread—I'm curious to see how everyone else perceives people who live like this...

Where are you even going to go? You aren't even eighteen yet. How can you be a total hermit and try to hide away from everyone during high school and graduation? 😲

Anyway, maybe do some reading. It might help if you look up how *not* to act, because you could easily dig yourself into a hole of unnecessary misery all by yourself. 👎

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Schizotypal_disorder

Come on, Melpy, chin up! 👍

Ronald Rogers27

shadowtrucker18 said:I suppose I should address what shadowtrucker18 mentioned earlier. It’s an interesting perspective, though perhaps a bit narrow in its scope, if I may say so. There is a certain logic to it, I guess, but one might argue that we aren't looking at the full picture here. Maybe.

That isn't even the core issue, really. The real headache is figuring out how to actually explain to them which side they ought to be taking. In every single experiment we’ve run up to this point, everyone just sort of drifted off toward their own respective sides, completely indifferent to the direction we were trying to steer them. I guess it's more of a communication hurdle than anything else, maybe.

I suppose there comes a point where one has to accept that risk is an inherent part of life—like the moment a turtle actually decides to snap at a rabbit. That isn’t exactly something you could just brush off as trivial. And then, naturally, you’d have the rabbit bolting under the bed, disappearing into some dark corner where, frankly, not even the most determined soul could ever hope to coax it out.

🤷

I misspoke earlier. I was talking about a fable—you know, animal characters with human traits. The whole story is symbolic, not literal. 🤣

Rebecca Scott3 said:So, according to my horoscope, I'm a Taurus... though I know Scorpions are out there... and I definitely give those folks a wide berth... then there's Pisces too... as for Capricorns, I haven't really heard much about them...

Look, I know cows can't fly, that much is certain. As for whether they can swim? Who knows. Probably. 😂

Though, the idiom "cow on a clover patch" just doesn't sit right with me. 🙂

Ronald Rogers27

John Cruz4 said:I am a frog who has been stung a hundred times over, yet I have always maintained my faith in the goodness of humanity—and I continue to believe, even if that belief eventually costs me everything.

It feels just like that same gut feeling you get when you put all your faith in Love... John Cruz4, do you really think today's world is built on genuine kindness, or is it all just self-interest at the end of the day? 🤷

This story was written to show how interest actually drives things and the hidden dangers lurking in that game... Don't you think graveyards are full of frogs that IPAK believed in goodness until the very end?

(On the bright side, those graveyards are also packed with drowned Scorpion...) 👍

Ronald Rogers27

slypuma17 said:You hit the nail on the head there.

That frog isn't quite as innocent or "oblivious" as she’d like to pretend.
She didn't catch that Scorpion because she was being naive; she did it because she thought she could outsmart the situation.

She underestimated the Scorpion, assuming it was less clever than she was.

And well, that kind of arrogance usually comes with a price.

Think back to that old fable about the tortoise and the hare—except in this version, the tortoise actually wins. How are you supposed to race against hares when you’re just an average tortoise? 🤷

The whole thing with the bee and the Scorpion is a massive lesson. It's like my work with alligators. Some of them can practically fly, some are constantly snapping at you, and others are just dead to the world during their winter sleep. I guess the secret to getting along with them is knowing who's looking out for whom.

When you're dealing with flying alligators, you better learn how to fly too. If they're snapping, you might have to snap back. And if they're sleeping? For heaven's sake, just leave them alone. 🙏

In relationships like that, you only get one chance to mess up. 🙄

Ronald Rogers27

hiddenhound3 said:I am struggling to grasp the core logic here; I feel as though I am missing the central thread of the argument.

To be perfectly honest, what confuses me most is this concept of 'sex + energy'—forgive me, but if it isn't too much trouble, could you clarify exactly what you mean by that term?

First, we need to nail down what Lust actually means. Let's say, just for the sake of this debate, that we define Lust as promiscuity (switching through multiple partners in a short span of time). It could be a single paid encounter, a series of them (hinting at prostitution), or even a group of swingers at one of their clubs. 🤷

Now that we've settled on a definition... let's say sex + energy is basically the classic physical, mental, and emotional energy found in those old-school Roman orgies. 😉

Ronald Rogers27

the chosen people say:
Sex + energy + entertainment + Abundance Ideal = ?

I honestly don't get why anyone thinks there's an issue with sex, fun, or abundance. It makes zero sense to me that people turn this into some deep philosophical crisis.

Look, nobody mentioned any restrictions here. Just because someone is out enjoying themselves and having sex doesn't mean they aren't reading heavy literature. Hell, maybe that's exactly what they find entertaining...

If someone can go from eating a shrimp cocktail to octopus salad and then finishing off with chocolate cake, there’s definitely something wrong with them, right?😵!

It feels like you're basically treating sex and Lust as the exact same thing (sex = Lust)... 😵 😵 😵

Is there anyone else besides the chosen people and Donna Campbell6 who thinks those two things are identical? 🙂

Ronald Rogers27

slypuma17 said:And then there are the ones who masquerade as toads when they are, in truth, Scorpions.
The reverse is true as well.

We all come in different flavors. Mimicry is just part of the Animal Kingdom, and honestly, it's part of being human too. In my experience, I've run into way more people pretending to be Scorpions when they're really just frogs.

The ones doing the opposite are much rarer, but man, they can cause a lot more damage. 🙄

Ronald Rogers27

Amanda Myers3 said:I get it. I really do... There will always be someone out there who excels more or hits higher milestones than you ever will.

I’ve been reflecting on why I act this way and view the world through this lens. It feels like I'm in a constant state of needing to prove myself. That implies I care far too much about external validation. Looking back, it's clear I didn't receive even half the affection I actually needed growing up. I won't go into the details of what happened or how. We can move past it now, but what they did is done. As for how I feel today... honestly, it feels like there isn't a place for me in this world.😢
The question weighing on my mind is: how do I build self-esteem after all of this? Where do I even start?
Because I believe that if I could actually build some self-respect—if I could truly love myself—I wouldn't feel this desperate need to constantly achieve things and pile tasks upon myself.

Exactly. When you set goals based on perfectionism, you're chasing ghosts. You'll never hit them. Plus, all that time you waste obsessing over every tiny detail is time stolen from everything else. You end up stuck as a complete amateur in other areas of your life, or worse, you just never actually finish anything.

Amanda Myers3 said:I get it. I really do... There will always be someone out there who excels more or hits higher milestones than you ever will.

I’ve been reflecting on why I act this way and view the world through this lens. It feels like I'm in a constant state of needing to prove myself. That implies I care far too much about external validation. Looking back, it's clear I didn't receive even half the affection I actually needed growing up. I won't go into the details of what happened or how. We can move past it now, but what they did is done. As for how I feel today... honestly, it feels like there isn't a place for me in this world.😢
The question weighing on my mind is: how do I build self-esteem after all of this? Where do I even start?
Because I believe that if I could actually build some self-respect—if I could truly love myself—I wouldn't feel this desperate need to constantly achieve things and pile tasks upon myself.

You’re probably just trying to prove a point to the people who didn't give you enough love back in the day. It's like you're showing them how much they messed up by overlooking you. You're trying to make them feel guilty, even if you don't realize you're doing it.

Just let it go. Forget about all those injustices and stop trying to get even. Seriously, don't waste your breath trying to punish them. Just move on with your life. Why burn through all that energy? Once you finally stop dwelling on them and start focusing back on yourself, you're going to find you have so much more time, energy, and freedom for the things that actually matter—for you. They’re invisible. They’re out of reach. It's like they aren't even there. Man...

Amanda Myers3 said:I get it. I really do... There will always be someone out there who excels more or hits higher milestones than you ever will.

I’ve been reflecting on why I act this way and view the world through this lens. It feels like I'm in a constant state of needing to prove myself. That implies I care far too much about external validation. Looking back, it's clear I didn't receive even half the affection I actually needed growing up. I won't go into the details of what happened or how. We can move past it now, but what they did is done. As for how I feel today... honestly, it feels like there isn't a place for me in this world.😢
The question weighing on my mind is: how do I build self-esteem after all of this? Where do I even start?
Because I believe that if I could actually build some self-respect—if I could truly love myself—I wouldn't feel this desperate need to constantly achieve things and pile tasks upon myself.

Where does it come from? It comes from hard work, pure grit, and that gut drive to fix your life up so you can actually enjoy it. Look, life is an obligation. Period. But if you spend every single minute obsessively micromanaging it—trying to make everything perfect—you’re just turning your existence into a living hell. I've been there. If you do that, your life loses all meaning. You end up stuck in this loop of mechanical, perfectionist tasks where the chores themselves become the only goal. That's not living. 👎

Ronald Rogers27

feralhound55 said:See, there's the catch—there actually is an alternative. In other words, there's a choice. A frog doesn't have to die just because it's in a Scorpion's nature to kill... That's why people hate this narrative—because we have options. Personally, I dig it; it shows how some people are just incapable of taking responsibility for themselves—too gullible, too naive, and they pay dearly for it. Spirituality is about accepting diversity, even the painful stuff, but acceptance and self-sacrifice are two different things. You can accept someone for who they are without giving them a free pass to hurt you. So, the frog could have dove. And it should have.

I agree with the sentiment, but everyone handles things differently. Some people just can't let go, some can, and others just put their faith in Life and trust the process. 🤷

It really comes down to probability. Not every frog acts like a typical frog, just like you can't expect every Scorpion to act like a textbook Scorpion.

(if you're a frog, you either take the leap or you don't)

Ronald Rogers27

Whether you liked it or not, that’s just how things go. That's life. Honestly, life is just the Animal Kingdom, and this story proves it. 🤷

Lately, I’ve felt like a frog caught in a bad spot—except even the Scorpions weren't being kind to me. Sometimes a frog doesn't have a choice but to dive into the middle of a lake, risking drowning just to escape the grip of Scorpions and leeches sucking its blood dry.

Life has turned into this massive labyrinth where it's nothing but pure survival... If you aren't the hunter, you're automatically the prey. Sometimes there just isn't a choice. 😁

Well... 😛

Ronald Rogers27

A frog meets a Scorpion by the edge of a lake. The Scorpion asks the frog:
"So, any chance you're heading across?"
"I am," the frog replies, keeping a safe distance. "Why do you ask?"
"Well, could you give me a lift too?"
"Do I look stupid to you? You'd sting me!"
"Honestly, you're being naive if you think that. Why would I sting you just to drown myself?! Just carry me across, and maybe I can return the favor sometime. Say, protecting you from snakes, hawks, or other predators!"[
The frog realizes she might have been too cautious and decides to give the Scorpion the ride she asked for. She thinks to herself:
"Maybe having a Scorpion as a friend isn't such a bad idea. Who knows, I might actually need her help one day!"
The Scorpion climbs onto the frog's broad back, and our two heroes set off on their long journey across the deep lake...
...Right when they hit the halfway point, where the water is at its deepest, the frog feels a sharp sting in her lower back. She turns around to see the Scorpion clumsily trying to hide her stinger from view.
"You crazy thing, now we're both going to die!" the frog screams, unable to believe what just happened.
"Sorry, but dammit! I know better, but I can't fight my own nature..."
_______

Question for the group: Are you the frog or the Scorpion?

Ronald Rogers27