I am honestly at my breaking point with my husband.😠
First off: I get home from visiting my mom yesterday and find him face-deep in dried figs. Look, there’s nothing wrong with eating fruit, but he went to the grocery store and picked up three massive bags of them, plus five other little snacks that I don't even touch. And then he has the nerve to tell me he bought them for me. He knows perfectly well that I have a sweet tooth, yet he didn't even bother to pick up a single chocolate bar.
Second: I was over at my niece's place and saw this incredibly clever, practical changing table (she’s just borrowing it for now). It’s wide and deep enough that you can actually keep all your diapering supplies right on the surface. So, I start explaining the logic behind it to my husband, and all I get back is a hollow "uh-huh." Then, just as I'm getting into the specific dimensions and why the size matters, he cuts me off with, "Why do you need such a massive thing? Are we changing an elephant?" 😠 He didn't listen to a single word I said about the utility of the table or why having that extra space is necessary. It feels like he has zero interest in helping me make any actual decisions—whether we should buy one or build one... in all this baby preparation, I feel like I'm doing it entirely alone.😠
Third: I needed a new ironing board. We went to Target, and since I wasn't looking to blow a huge chunk of change, I grabbed a cheaper model. Turns out, it’s completely unstable. It wobbles left and right, and when I applied a little pressure while testing it out, the whole thing sank nearly six inches before bouncing back. I asked him to take a look and see if it could be tightened or stabilized—because apparently, he doesn't consider the fact that we might need to return it to the store 🙄—and instead of helping, he starts lecturing me. He tells me what I want, claims that's just how these cheap boards are made, and implies nothing can be done. Basically, he’s making it my fault for choosing the budget option, even though if I had bought the expensive one, he would have complained about the price tag all day anyway.
Anyway, I'm done. No more laundry, no more ironing, I'm officially retiring from all household duties. I truly don't care anymore... I honestly wonder how people manage to function in this world.
I suppose I'm not even angry anymore; I'm just so exhausted and pathetic that I can barely see the keyboard through the tears.
So, my mother actually suggested yesterday that once the baby girl arrives, I should just hand her over to her so she can spend all her time dressing her up in different outfits. 🤣 I mean, I suppose I know she was mostly joking—she was probably just caught up in the excitement of all those tiny, cute little outfits you see in stores everywhere,(😍) which is why she kept going on about how she’d be the one constantly changing her clothes and taking her out for walks on the stroller. 🤣
Nancy Jones2 said:Oh great, mine’s having issues with his timing too! I called him earlier today just to see when he'd be back because I completely forgot to pick up some oil (turns out being pregnant makes things a bit harder 🤣), and he told me he had work until 4:00 and would be home then. I couldn't just head out myself since the baby was sleeping. Of course, I ended up sitting there waiting until 5:20 before he finally showed up with the damn oil. 🙄
Now, just imagine if I didn't have a sense of time either 🤦 what kind of disaster we'd be 🤦
but then again, he has no idea how to judge distance either 🙄
So I call him, and he gives me the whole "I'll call you back in ten minutes" routine. Then, after waiting around for thirty-five minutes, I try calling him again, only to be told he'll get back to me "a little later." 😠 Honestly, what a joke. If he’d just stayed away, I would've hopped in the shower. 😠 Now I'm stuck in this limbo where I can't even start my shower, and I was really hoping to have at least half an hour of peace to myself.
God dammit, I am so over this 😠🙂 I figured I’d just grab a fresh towel, some clean underwear, and my pajamas, then head toward the bathroom to take a nice, hot shower while the house was still actually warm (we rely on a wood stove here, and I know his uncle isn't going to bother getting up to toss more logs in the furnace once the temperature starts to dip) I was thinking to myself, let’s just get this done while it’s at its peak warmth, but then—total shock 😲 I swing the bathroom door open only to find the window wide open, and the room is absolutely freezing 😠 So, how exactly am I supposed to shower now??? 😠 The bathroom isn't going to be warm anymore, not after someone decided to crack the window and let the heat escape for God knows how long
Most likely his uncle already finished his shower and couldn't care less if anyone else gets a chance to wash up As long as he’s clean by Sunday, I guess, and I can just sit here smelling like garbage🙂
The way she keeps shifting around in there is honestly killing me don't get me wrong, I actually love feeling her move, but I really don't enjoy it when she decides to plant her feet right against my liver or starts jamming herself into my ribs it’s just uncomfortable and painful, and I guess I don't even know how to stretch properly to give her more room so she'll just leave my liver alone
Nicholas Taylor50 said:Honestly, these stories about stillbirths are driving me insane. And it’s coming from my own maid of honor. She calls me, feeling like she absolutely has to tell me, as if I actually want to hear it. There is zero reason for me to listen to some tragedy involving a girl in 62 miles who isn't even in my social circle. Seriously, what is the point? To top it off, she makes sure to mention how perfectly healthy her pregnancy was right up until the end. Like, thanks for the heads-up, now I'll just sit here wondering if I'm going to have a dead baby too. 🤷
As for pets, my cat passed away just a few days before I found out I was pregnant. My husband and I cried for days. Then people have the nerve to say, "Look on the bright side, it's better he's gone now that the baby is coming." What would they have wanted? 😕 Nothing. I'd have to run him over myself.
I honestly don't get why people tell these stories🤷 what is the actual purpose of recounting them to pregnant women? 🤷
It really threw me for a loop when my mother-in-law started lecturing me about how her own mother worked through her entire pregnancy without a single issue 🙄 just because I mentioned feeling a bit tired after a walk. But I wasn't just "tired"—I walked so much that my hips were aching so badly I was limping all evening, not to mention the fact that I barely slept because the pain wouldn't let up.
My grandmother actually called me out the other day just because I mentioned that I’d like my mom to watch the little one at least once a week, or maybe every two weeks She started yelling about how my mother shouldn't have to babysit my kid and that I should handle it myself since I don't have a steady job😠 It's funny, though, because I know she used to watch me constantly when I was growing up🙄 and my mom even pointed out that she never ever asked for that kind of help from her back in the day😢
I think you hit the nail on the head there. Even my mom says that biology isn't everything—it doesn't define who raised you or give you any inherent advantage in life. You’re right, too; we don't actually owe anyone anything. I know he probably isn't worth the tears, but I guess I still feel a bit of a sting. I was really attached to him, and his opinion meant a lot to me. It makes me regret getting married so many times before. I’ll likely have a traditional wedding ceremony at a church eventually, maybe alongside a baptism, but I suppose that feels different than that first time when you truly become husband and wife.
analognomad59 said:Honestly, honey, he's not even worth the stress 🙂 how you choose to invite people to your big day is entirely up to you—it's *your* wedding, for crying out loud. Deciding who gets an invite, when they get it, what the dress code is, the menu, the playlist... that’s all on you and your partner to figure out.
I mean, is it really fair that the first time he's hearing about you being pregnant and planning a wedding is now? And now he's throwing a fit because you sent the invite a week early? Like, he had zero reason to assume you were getting married in the first place...🤷
I don't even know what kind of invitation he was expecting, considering we haven't even spoken in months. 🙄 Frankly, it makes me sick when people expect you to treat them like absolute divas, yet they turn around and treat you like a second-class citizen. I don't need that kind of energy in my life. I'm drawing a line here; I won't fall apart without them or their unsolicited opinions.
I know I shouldn't let myself get worked up—not with a baby in the house—but when she touches me like that... it just hits different. I honestly can't fathom being that way toward my own daughter one day. A child should be loved unconditionally, but it feels like she’s only capable of loving herself and her little songs.🙄
Anyway, thank you all for the kind words and the support. I think I would have been completely lost without this community and all of you. 🙂 😘
He actually said he won't be there, claiming that's just not how a parent shows up for a wedding!!!! 🙄 Honestly, I'm done. I'm never calling him again; I've had enough. 😠 It’s funny how he suddenly remembers he’s a parent now. He wants all the rights, but none of the responsibilities—and heaven forbid he actually acknowledges my rights as his daughter. That’s clearly off the table. I don't need him in my life. He doesn't feed me, clothe me, or provide a dime of financial support. The only thing he ever contributed was paying for two years of college, and that was about it. Since the divorce eight years ago, I haven't received a single thing from him. He gave me a laptop three years ago, but I probably wouldn't have even gotten that if I hadn't lived with him for those few months back then.
But I guess the worst part is that I still feel this lingering sadness that he won't show up, even if it's just for the ceremony and not the dinner. I felt like such an idiot, sitting there crying because he won't come.
Honestly, I’d rather not call him at all, but I feel like I need to say my piece—to show him I’m not some helpless kid. Even though I’m 22, I actually know what I’m talking about; I'm far from being naive or slow. My husband met him too, and he feels the same sense of disgust whenever he remembers what he's like—how he looks down on us just because he didn't go to college. My dad, on the other hand, went through years of training for the police academy before they eventually let him go because of his service during the war.
It’s just how it goes when someone is convinced they’re the smartest person in the room.🙄
Anthony Watson35, I really feel for you. I know exactly what it’s like to feel completely invisible to a parent, whether it's your mom or your dad, it doesn't really matter. I suppose I’m just lucky that my mom is a sane person; she actually puts in the effort for me, the baby, my brother, and everything else—way more than my dad ever did, even back before they split up.
Ever since we put that date in the calendar, I’ve been feeling physically ill just thinking about having to call him to invite him to the wedding, even if it is the polite thing to do. The last time we actually spoke, the final thing I told him was that he’d never meet my child—but honestly, I only snapped because he started lecturing me and talking trash about my husband and his uncles. I just hit my breaking point. He didn't even defend himself; I just went off on him out of nowhere. It all traces back to when we were discussing my pregnancy. My husband’s brother, who thinks he knows everything, posted on Facebook about becoming an uncle when I was only eight weeks along. When my dad found out, he went straight to my brother to see if it was true. So, I called him up and told him straight that he should have come to me first. I pointed out that my younger brother—he's only 15—doesn't even know I'm pregnant yet, and that's how this whole mess started.
Yesterday's phone call ended with him telling me to call him back another day because he’s currently in shock.
Honestly, the questions he asked me were just ridiculous. Him: "What is this about? That wedding?" Me: "Well, so the baby can have a last name." Him: "What baby?" Me: "My baby and darkojiv's." There was just this heavy silence. Then he tells me to call him back later because, and I quote, "you really floored me."
God, now I’m stuck waiting for another one of these calls just so he can finally decide whether he’s showing up or not. 🙄
I just got off the phone with my dad, which isn't exactly a regular occurrence. In his eyes, I’m always the problem—always the one insulting him, hurting him, or just completely messing up my life. He’ll sit there acting like he hasn't said a single harsh word to me in his entire life, playing the saint while I take all the blame.
I called him to invite him to our civil ceremony. It’s going to be tiny, just about 12 people total, including me and my fiancé. We actually booked the date with the officiant for December 29th so we could have the actual ceremony on January 15th, but now he’s acting offended because I’m only calling him a week before the wedding. As if I haven't had the whole two weeks to figure out everything from the dinner and the rings to the dress. He managed to get under my skin so much that I could actually feel the baby kicking and turning around in my stomach. I just don't have the mental energy for this kind of thing—constantly being told that everything is my fault.
I’ve always found it interesting how some people have this incredible ability to remember only the negative things said to them, conveniently forgetting that those words were usually just a reaction to the nasty things they said first. But no, in their minds, they never said anything offensive or insulted anyone. It’s always the same story with my dad; he only ever remembers what I say to him.
My grandmother’s blood pressure spiked today!!! 😠 She called me—she has a house in the same neighborhood where I live, though she's staying with her daughter now so she isn't alone—and asked if I could swing by to check on something since I have a key. It really isn't far at all. I told her, "Sure, I can do that, but I won't head out right this second; I'll go after lunch." "Okay, just let me know when you're heading out!" she said. So, I made my plans, finished up the dishes, grabbed the key, and started walking toward the house. The street is pretty flat, so as I was walking, I saw her house and noticed my cousin's car pulling into the driveway. By then, I was already halfway there. I muttered a little curse under my breath and just turned around to walk back home.🙂 About an hour and a half later, she calls me and says there's no need to come after all, because her cousin's husband drove her over. I told her, "I know, I saw the car! You could have told me sooner instead of letting me get halfway there." "Oh, well, look on the bright side, at least you got some fresh air!" she replied. 😠 I said, "It's not about that. My baby is sitting low, and I start getting those pregnancy pains whenever I move around too much." "Oh dear, how awful!" she said. 😠 At that point, I just lost my patience. I told her it's fine that my cousin needs to rest, but I shouldn't be trekking around in the cold for no reason. "But she isn't just lying around!" she argued. 😠 Which is funny, because just two weeks ago, she told me the cousin had to stay on bed rest because of some complications with the pregnancy. Eventually, she started saying that maybe she just shouldn't ask me for anything anymore (her voice started trembling, sounding like she was on the verge of tears, 🙄) I told her that would probably be for the best. Then she started going on about how nobody needs her anymore and that she doesn't even need anyone to wish her a Happy New Year (though I was out of town anyway, and I didn't feel like performing social niceties just to stroke her ego), and she actually started crying... And finally, she just shut the conversation down.
It's not that I'm a heartless granddaughter, but my aunt's place is always crowded. There are two married cousins and the whole extended family constantly hovering around dealing with their little domestic dramas, plus my uncle and aunt. She calls me because apparently, nobody else has five minutes to spare.😠 She's constantly driving my blood pressure up, and then tries to deflect using guilt trips—suggesting it's my fault for being "unwell"—but I've had enough of it.
Even back in the summer, she called me once to come change some curtains, even though my aunt and uncle had been there for two weeks straight, and my cousin had just visited the previous weekend.😠 Honestly, I think she's the one who's lost it.
Edward Rodriguez4 said:Some lady actually had the nerve to tell me I should be scrubbing my nipples really hard with a towel every single day after my shower... I was like, uh, excuse me?! 🙂 Not a chance, I'm not even letting people look at them, let alone rubbing them like that. Good grief! I'm fully convinced my milk is gonna be flowing like a damn river 🤣 and my little one is always gonna be stuffed... 😬
As for the name, people around me keep rolling their eyes (let's call her Eve) and I have no idea why... 🤷 I guess if it isn't some trendy, mainstream name, it's "not good enough." Screw 'em. ☕
Personally, I think Eve is a lovely name; I've always had a soft spot for short names. 👍 I mostly just get eye-rolls from the older generation, but the younger crowd seems to really dig my choices. 🤷
I honestly find it kind of sweet when my husband talks to our baby through my belly, telling them 🤣 . It’s just one of those little things, I guess—how we can play around and joke with my stomach like this 😁. It feels like a small, silly way to connect .
At first, I was just a bit puzzled by all that belly touching, but lately, I’ve started to realize it actually bothers me too. 🙄 I really caught onto how weird it felt when a close friend of mine surprised me by reaching out like that. We’re still on great terms, so I didn't say anything or let it turn into a thing, but I guess it just felt off.
It’s honestly pretty irritating that I can't find a complete list of prices on the Adax website. 🙂 I’ll be scrolling through looking at a really nice sectional sofa... nothing, no price listed. 😠 Then I’ll find a baby carrier, one of those kangaroo styles... again, no price to be found. 😠
Plus, their closest showroom is in Chicago, and I’m all the way out here in rural Iowa. 🙂