Posts by crimsongull20

slypuma17 said:Exactly.

It just occurred to me that people who own dogs or cats have never once cornered me to ask when I'm getting one, nor have they ever accused me of hating animals just because I don't own them—or want to. Not once. 🤷

The reason I don't want them is simple: as I mentioned before, they demand constant maintenance and attention, much like having a child (except you get one pet per "child"). Feeding, training, vet visits, toys, supplies, expenses, expenses, expenses... does that sound familiar? 🙂

People who love animals are way less likely to stick their noses in other people's business than those who claim to love kids.

feralcobra92 said:Who exactly am I supposed to be thanking?
Just be grateful for the era we actually live in! Honestly, I’ve spent so much time listening to stories about what life was like for women even fifty or sixty years ago, and it sounds like a complete nightmare of restricted freedom. It was financial, social—everything was just closed off. No one ever bothered to ask a young woman if she actually *wanted* to get married or if she’d rather finish her degree and start a career instead. Her path was already decided for her. You knew exactly what was coming: marriage, a house full of kids, grueling physical labor like hauling water from a well or scrubbing laundry by hand, dealing with illnesses, losing children to diseases, and being completely financially dependent on a husband who acted like the absolute boss of the household...
A woman had zero say in any of it, unless she just played the part and did exactly what she was expected to do.
But today, women go to college just like men do, and we get to call the shots on everything—what we do, where we go, whether we want to work at all, if we even want to marry, if we want a partner, or if we want to have kids. It is such a massive shift in just a few decades, and I truly believe we women should be thrilled with how much things have changed in our favor. Who cares if the neighbor or your mother-in-law gives you a little wink or asks for updates every single time they see you? The decision is entirely yours, and honestly, that is just wonderful.

What you're talking about is class, not the era. Wealthy socialites weren't hauling water from wells or raising twelve kids a hundred or three hundred years ago... and women in impoverished villages in parts of Africa or Asia still aren't getting educated or deciding for themselves if they want to marry or have children.

amberfox4 said::

Good grief, look how tiny he is 😍

Yeah, his mother rejected him (both him and his late, weaker brother) 😢, while he ended up being raised by a stray cat—the same kind of creature people always label as selfish and independent.

And then they have the nerve to claim maternal instinct is just some built-in biological certainty. Clearly doesn't apply to all animals, let alone all women.

P.S. Most of the praise I hear regarding motherhood comes from vain, self-important old ladies who either raised codependent brats or haven't seen their kids since last Thanksgiving... so my internal alarm goes off whenever I hear this nonsense (which there's plenty of on this thread).

amberfox4 said:Well, if we're talking about being a panda, you'd have to go full royal status to make it worth it.😉

Not really, just look at this. 🙂

http://www.newser.com/story/32088/ta...panda-cub.html

amberfox4 said:but you’d still be at least a little surprised, wouldn't you?😉

Sure, though if it turned out to be any other animal I'd be devastated... but for a cat? Not really. Fine, maybe a red panda.😁

James Sanchez15 said:I don't know... I'm 24, and ever since I started "growing up"—which basically means being hit with all these thoughts about starting a family and having kids one day—I feel like I’ll just end up having them because it's "natural." Like, society expects it from me subconsciously, and I guess I'll just subconsciously accept that too... but honestly? The idea of having my own child actually scares me. I don't even know why. And when I see a baby, I don't feel any urge to have one myself. I actually feel a much stronger urge when I see a kitten! I'm being completely serious here.

Kittens are just too cute. 🙂

Might sound stupid, but sometimes I feel like I wouldn't even be disappointed if I gave birth to a kitten instead of a human...

Jerry Martinez5 said:Tragic, charming, smart kid. 👍

Ha, I used to practice those kinds of stares in front of the mirror until I shocked everyone I met, and I regularly had the LAPD pull me over just for ID checks 👍
and it wasn't even out of spite. I just wanted people to get the hell away from me 🙈

A bad person will never admit they're actually bad. Nah, they'll just pretend to be as wholesome as a Sunday morning in the Midwest 👎

In my experience, those types usually call themselves "altruists." 😁

shadowtrucker18 said:I suppose I’m the villain here. People tend to be rather unkind, and since I don't exactly fit the mold of a saint, well... that's just how it goes, I guess.

👍

This is serious and dangerous. They need to see a psychiatrist who specializes in eating disorders.

placidranger said:edit:
The "herd mentality" is just primal instinct—people crave that sense of safety and security. Only those with enough self-assurance can afford to stand alone and still feel okay about it.

Those who can't pull that off—myself included—aren't really worth watching... that's about it.

placidranger said:If he truly didn't care, he’d be perfectly content in his own head—he wouldn't feel... well, I'm quoting him here: "like a complete idiot because a flood of information is rushing past me and I'm not catching any of it," or "sometimes I get this irritating feeling like I'm disconnected from the group."

And honestly, I suspect that stuff becomes a lot more interesting once you start studying it. Humans are pack animals; we're hardwired to obsess over other people and the messy web of relationships between us.

Fair point. The issue might actually be intelligence—not social, just general IQ.

I don't know anyone whose intellect I actually respect who also wants to be part of the herd...

Walter Myers4 said:Yeah. Same here. Honestly, I'm way more wrapped up in my own thoughts than any social dynamics.😁
The only "social dynamic" I care about is making sure I don't accidentally walk into someone while I'm staring at my phone.

As far as I'm concerned, social dynamics are fine as long as they happen to someone else (and leave me alone). 😁

Walter Myers4 said:I have absolutely no idea what she's talking about here.

I'm talking about the lack of situational awareness mentioned in the original post.

The example above was my own little disaster. Usually, I don't even notice who's sitting at the next table in a Starbucks or walking past me on the sidewalk, let alone if someone is staring. If I’m treating people's behavior like a play at a theater, sure, I see the reactions... but otherwise? No chance I'd spot a celebrity in a crowd.

placidranger said:Damn, yeah—drifted into off-topic territory there.

Anyway, where were we... the patient doesn't feel like part of the group because he’s missing the social cues... hmmm...
He needs to get out of his own head and actually look at what's happening around him. Honestly, the best move would be to start studying non-verbal communication. Pick up some books, observe people, test theories—that kind of thing.

You can't spot something if you don't even realize it exists.
It’s like when you learn a new slang term and suddenly it’s everywhere—in the papers, on TV, in every conversation. Or you decide you want a specific Jeep and suddenly you see them on every street corner. It's just a matter of tuning your perception and opening up those filters. Once you do, you realize how much interesting subtext is hidden in someone's posture, their stance, or just a glance...

If they actually focused on "group dynamics," they'd probably notice them... maybe even better than most people do.

Walter Myers4 said:Yeah. Maybe he's just shy and can't stand being stuck in a crowd. 😁

Let him reach out once he forgets to say hi to the boss twice in two days... just because he didn't notice her walking by like I did...

Walter Myers4 said:The only issue he’s bringing up is that he doesn't notice girls checking him out. Honestly? Maybe I've got that same damn problem myself.

That’s not just a problem. It’s an epidemic. 😁

brightotter7 said:I'm not sure if "social intelligence" is even the right term for this, but feel free to set me straight if I'm off base 🙂

So, look, I'm just not great at navigating group dynamics or picking up on those unspoken social cues. To give you an idea: say I’m out at a bar with my buddies, and I am definitely NOT going to notice if some girl is checking me out. Like, a friend will go, "Hey, she's looking at you," and I'll just stare back totally clueless, wondering why she'd be interested in *me*. Then another friend chimes in and confirms it, and I’m still just sitting there like... what? It's the same deal with all those tiny little signals people throw around in groups. Sometimes I feel like a complete idiot because there's this constant stream of information flying around me and I'm just missing it entirely. I don't really care much about what someone's wearing, what kind of car they drive, or obsessing over every little detail—unless it's actually a juicy story, obviously. I'm not socially awkward or anything; I can hold a conversation and I love a good joke, but I guess I just miss the subtleties.
Anyone else deal with this? How would you even label it? Am I just the guy sitting in the cave planning the strategy while everyone else is busy hunting mammoths? Help!

Seems like your social intelligence is perfectly fine; you just have subpar peripheral awareness. You probably just have too much going on inside your own head to worry about trivial stuff like who's eyeing you or what the neighbor drives. A true tragedy, really.

cosmicridge5 said:To me, 'getting over it' means becoming indifferent... Getting used to it just means she’s still there, but instead of choking you, she’s just sitting on your shoulders.

Or she's still got you by the throat just as tight, and you just learn how to breathe through your gills.

Jamie Scott2 said:It exists, it's just that some people aren't paying attention. That's the real issue.

Sure... honestly, it’s a miracle it stays afloat at all, given how many psychology textbooks exist on the subject. 😁

Jamie Scott2 said:You've got it all wrong!

What I meant was... some people just aren't worth the effort. 😉