Posts by vividfalcon14

Nah, I don't see it as much of a hurdle. As far as I can tell, it’s just a server glitch—nothing to sweat, okay? 😉

@Mattia: You can't be serious 🙏

shadownomad4 said:Let me offer you some advice based on my own experience.

I have been exactly where you are. I reached a breaking point and decided to take my own life; I even attempted it by taking a handful of pills. Had they worked, I wouldn't be here today, and I would be suffering in a fiery hell. For that reason, I am so grateful to Jesus for saving me. In that moment, I heard a voice in my mind that told me, "It is not your time yet." It was so convincing that I immediately called 911 because I felt a sudden surge of hope in my heart that I had never experienced before. After the paramedics treated me, I eventually came across the book "The power of positive thinking" by N. V. Peal. Through its pages, I realized how much I needed to invite Jesus into my heart and declare to the heavens that He is my Lord and Savior from this day forward.
I went into my room and said, "Jesus, here I am. I surrender myself to You, and I invite You into my heart. I am sorry for all the wrong things I have done in my life, and I forgive everyone who has ever hurt me."

In that moment, I felt the embrace of God's presence, and the entire weight of guilt and sorrow I had been carrying simply fell away. That sense of freedom was indescribable, and the joy was beyond words.

Today, God has brought a woman into my life whom I have married. She loves Jesus just as I do, and we share a bond rooted in His unconditional Love. I have forgotten everything that happened in the past, and I have confessed my old mistakes to those I could. People couldn't understand how I changed so drastically overnight, but I share my story whenever I get the chance, because without Him, perfect love between people simply cannot function.

Do what I did, and believe me, you will find a reason to live, no matter how dark things seem.

Best regards. 🙂

About two and a half years ago, I found myself in that same dark place with a handful of pills, though I didn't experience any sudden "voice" guiding me out. 🤷

I just laid there and whispered, "God, please, I just want this to be over." The next thing I remember through the haze was the stomach pumping, followed by a blur of the ICU and the psych ward. 🤷

Are you talking about those little emoticons from Reddit?

The cleanest way to handle it is to just download them directly. You can use an FTP client to move them from your computer into the root\images\smileys folder—or whatever the specific directory is, depending on which forum software you're running—on the server where the site is hosted. Once that's done, you just log in to the ACPA as the Administrator and toggle them on whenever you're ready.

Cheers. 🙂

Look, just try to move on, and maybe out of pure spite, decide you’re done chasing relationships entirely—or at least find someone who actually knows your worth.
Honestly, I feel like I'm losing my mind too; every day feels like a broken record where nothing changes, and I’ve spent my whole life without a girlfriend or even a decent social circle. I’m pretty much a hermit, barely stepping foot outside once every couple of weeks, all while battling OCD, severe psychosis, and schizophrenia. It turns into this daily cycle of fighting with my parents until things escalate to the point where I’m thinking about ending it all—not them, obviously, but myself—because that's just how heavy things get. Imagine if you were carrying all that on top of what you're already dealing with.
So, give it a shot; there are plenty of other fish in the sea, and some are definitely better than what you left behind.

Good luck with everything! 🙂

cosmictinker21 said:Sure, but halfway down you'll probably change your mind and end up as an accidental pancake...😁

Well, what’s done is done, and there's no use looking back once the dust settles. 😁

Jerry Cook3 said:I suppose I should genuinely let you know that trying to end things is incredibly difficult, if not outright impossible, though in any case, it's just remarkably hard 👍☕

😂
Spare me the psychology lessons... I'll just jump off a skyscraper and blow this pathetic existence right away.🤣

It’s much like watching a slow-moving river carve its way through a canyon; there isn't much to be said other than observing how the landscape shifts over time. vividfalcon14 says:
vividfalcon14...

Dreams are really just a reflection of our daily experiences, so there's no need to overanalyze them. I have those same dreams where I’m falling or flying—it’s just how things work. You're probably just dwelling on it too much. Honestly, why would you see yourself as a victim? And there's no way God finds any enjoyment in that; don't let yourself think that way, because it isn't true.
I’m flying solo right now, but don't go thinking there isn't anyone out there for you. Just to give you a little proof of concept, try this for a couple of weeks. If you set up a profile on Spark, you'll likely have five different women sliding into your inbox before the day is even over. 😉))))

Look, please don't take my posts too literally. I mostly just write them as a way to vent during my darker moments, if you know what I mean.

I remember opening an account on Spark ages ago just for the hell of it, though if I recall correctly, nobody really bothered to say hello.
I'll look into it, thanks. 🙏

It’s much like watching a slow-moving river carve its way through a canyon; there is a quiet, inevitable force to it that doesn't require any shouting to be felt. vividfalcon14 says:
Look, just take a breath and cool off for a second—maybe try capturing something on tape. It’s like taking all that dark, heavy noise in your head and channeling it into music instead; just let those frustrations bleed out through the notes.
I think this approach offers a bit more substance than just venting on the Forum and lamenting one's own misfortune. 😬

Look, I record whenever the mood strikes, but there are times when you just need to step back and reflect on the bigger picture. We "Scales" tend to go through one or more major life crises, much like a forest fire that clears the brush only to allow for a complete rebirth of the ecosystem. 😁

Robert Mendoza said:God doesn't exist anyway.🙂
So, the only person who assigned you the role of the victim is YOU.

Maybe try becoming an atheist; you'll be a lot happier, trust me. 🙂 I walked away from Catholicism about a year and a half ago and finally feel free 🙂. I realized that I'm the one in control of my destiny, and the only "role" I have in this life is the one I choose for myself.

Falling down is human, but I think it's time for you to get back up.🙂 Sitting there wallowing in self-pity and crowning yourself the king of victims won't accomplish ANYTHING (I know, from experience). No one is going to knock on your door to save you.
Try to find that inner fighter and show those problems that you're bigger than them—because at the end of the day, they're just in your head.
You created them, so you can destroy them too. 🙏

You know, I wouldn't call myself particularly religious—I don't spend much time in church or sitting in prayer—but I can't quite bring myself to agree that God doesn't exist. I went through a phase where I rejected the idea entirely, but being a somewhat spiritual person by nature, I still find myself sensing this strange, divine energy vibrating through everything.
When you step back and look at the big picture, it’s hard to ignore; we were placed on this planet at just the right distance from the Sun to stay warm, experiencing seasons where summer heat gives way to the joy of a winter snowfall. We have an abundance of fresh water, like our Mississippi River, which has flowed steadily for centuries, serving as a quiet reminder that perhaps someone is looking out for us little people living under these bright stars. Between our evolving technology, the ability to connect virtually through this Forum, and the sheer depth of human consciousness and soul... I believe there is "The One," or God, even if it manifests simply as a benevolent energy woven into the cosmos. 🙂

That said, I definitely agree with you that self-pity won't get you anywhere—in fact, it achieves absolutely nothing. 👍

Best to everyone. 🙂

brightlynx39 said:Man, what a beautiful city, and such a cool birthday too... hey... let's try to find some joy here! If you're up for it, shoot me a private message. I'll give you my full name, and if you're on Facebook, maybe we can catch up there 🙂

I don't have a Facebook account.

Either way, thanks. 🙂

A guy who once did a reading for me—covering this life, the past, the future, even previous incarnations—once mentioned that in a former existence, I was someone of immense power, a figure no one could overshadow, someone who traveled extensively and left behind written records (and he actually got quite a few details about my current life right). It’s fine, I suppose, but he also noted that in that lifetime, I lived entirely alone. He suggested that even in this life, I seem to gravitate toward solitude...

A few nights ago, I had a dream about a "priest" figure who told me I would spend this entire life alone. Lately, I've also been having these recurring dreams where I'm jumping from buildings or hospitals.

To be fair, that reader didn't mention anything about suicide; he just predicted that later in life, I would reach a very high station in society... part of me wishes that were true, though I don't really believe it.

You know what I think, everyone? I think I was simply born to suffer, as if it were some divine punishment, and as if God finds satisfaction in watching me struggle... Well, if that's the deal, then since my role is to be a damn martyr, I might as well grab a canister of gasoline, stand on the edge of a skyscraper, set myself on fire, and jump! THERE YOU GO, GOD! 🙂

It probably would have been better if I had never been born at all; damn the day I entered this world! 🙂

brightlynx39 said:Lupus is...
I honestly have no clue how old you are...
but I know you're going to be missed by someone... guaranteed...
Look, I’ve been sitting here thinking about this... and I realized that being selfish might actually be the right move. If I take my own life, I'm just leaving everyone else to suffer through the grief, and I just can't deal with that... yeah...
And then again... what if I survive? What if I end up living with a disability, completely dependent on other people? There's just no way...
You aren't some tough guy persona, I'm sure of it... I don't know where you're from, but I truly believe there's a girl out there for you. You just have to let go of everything holding you back...
As for a social life, I don't really have one either. It's just a few close friends and a bunch of people who hang around me because they want something. But hey, look at it this way—they need me, I need them, so we're even...

Well, I guess we'll just see how the dust settles....
Anyway, thanks for the support.
By the way—my 23rd birthday is coming up on September 23rd, the first day of fall, and I'm living in San Francisco.

Best regards. 👍

It’s much like watching a slow-moving river carve its way through a canyon—you don't notice the change until the landscape has completely shifted. vividfalcon14 says:
Maybe grab a condenser mic before you dive headfirst into this, if you have one lying around. 🤣

🤣 You're pretty great! 👍
If I make up my mind, I'll get both the ribbon and the capacitor versions transcribed for you. 🤣

Nicole Wilson6 said:So, did you finally lose it? ☕ 👏

😉

brightlynx39 said:Hey, listen, please don't think like that...
Do you really believe that's an escape? That death is the answer?
Just try to picture what this would do to your parents, your friends, your whole family... to the people who will be left picking up the pieces...
They won't understand why, and they’ll be absolutely devastated. There isn't a way to go back and undo that kind of pain for them...
Please, just go talk to a therapist. You can work through anything—there is always a way out, truly everything... you just need to look at it from a different angle, or tell someone else so they can give you an objective perspective, since it's so hard to see things clearly when you're stuck in your own head.

You know, my parents have come close to disowning me more than a few times because I spend my days messing with them—it’s just my way of showing affection through constant, playful friction. It usually ends in these heated arguments where they get genuinely angry, but things took a dark turn recently when it escalated to physical disrespect. In that moment, I felt like smashing the door down and just bolting out of there. I actually ended up standing on the edge of a building, staring down at the street, paralyzed by the sheer uncertainty of what comes after we die. Eventually, I went back to them and made it crystal clear: if they ever cross that line again, no amount of intervention from the police or the military could stop me from jumping. We left it right there.
I’ve never really had much of a social circle—not that I count anything from back when I was a kid—nor have I ever had a girlfriend, though people tell me I don't exactly carry myself like some high-society type. But honestly, I can't point fingers at anyone else; the fault lies entirely with me for never having the nerve to actually walk up and say hello.

I've been seeing a private psychiatrist—a professor with a PhD in neuropsychiatry—and I'm taking some medication to help manage everything I've been dealing with.
I’ve got a bit too much energy on my hands lately, which makes it impossible to stay calm when I could easily just spend the day messing with everyone around me. 🤦

I might just check out of this life soon by taking a leap off a five-dollar bill; it’s an exit strategy I should have probably pulled the trigger on a long time ago.

Here is the scam. 🤷

I’m not entirely sure. I just saw the registration notice and decided to jump in here, though honestly, Joseph has such a reputation for being involved in all sorts of shady dealings that I had my doubts about signing up in the first place.

That said, you might have better luck recording something in a studio and handing it over to an A&R rep at a local radio station or something along those lines. 🤷

urbangardener said:So, about five years ago, I was really deep into music...

I had a decent collection of my own tracks—mostly techno and trance—and I was actually quite a solid DJ, even if I never officially hit the club circuit, but then everything just fell silent...

Now, the itch is back. This is the second time I've walked away from it; once when I was basically twelve, and again just a few years ago...

I still have this one album sitting there, a selection of tracks I intended to pitch to labels to get my foot in the door, but it never went anywhere...

What I'm wondering is, which record labels actually take an interest in amateur techno, and is it possible for someone like me to just release an album independently?

Take a look at this post. 🤷

briskbison41 said:You certainly have a wide range of interests.😁

Roger Bishop22 said:Must be nice living that high life online, being all wealthy and everything. 😁

🤣 True enough. In this digital world, I actually managed to hit the Powerball jackpot last week. 🤣

silverbear5 said:A Global moderator? Please! 😲 Is that some kind of Microsoft thing? 😁>

🤣 A global mod is basically just a super mod, just running on different types of forum software like phpBB3... I've spent plenty of time managing sites on vBulletin, phpBB2, phpBB3, and myBB, where I currently serve as the superAdmin—essentially a sysAdmin with full FTP access. Honestly, I love what myBB offers; it feels quite similar to vBulletin in its versatility. For instance, every user gets their own notepad, there’s a shared one for Admins, and even a private one for Admins that stays hidden from everyone else. It also features reputation systems, penalty points, and when you check a profile—yours or anyone else's—you can see exactly which threads they're reading and if they're currently online. 🙂

silverbear5 said:To the OP: you might find yourself posting in the Ban Corner too—if you don't play by the rules. 😁

Just let's hope he doesn't end up in Teens-e because of matesonik. 😛 🙂

rapidrider3 said:Haha... honestly, that’s some playground-level deception right there.🤣

🤷
I’m essentially the Admin working behind the scenes. The CEO of this Reddit, someone I call a close associate, has handed me quite a bit of latitude. 😛

Steven Sanders59 said:Why am I blocked from posting in the Ban Corner?
I can read all the threads just fine, but I can't reply or start anything new.

Well, it works for me. 👍

Sandra Nelson13 said:I’m curious about section 2. Could someone walk me through it? My sister is also a member of this forum, and because of her, I couldn't register using our family email address—I had to use Yahoo instead. It isn't possible for both of us to use the same one, right? It makes things quite complicated. And does setting up multiple user accounts imply needing separate email addresses or...?

I suspect Prokleta was referring to creating different user profiles on Windows, where each of you would have your own profile to select when booting up Wins, allowing you to check the remember me box when logging into the forum. Naturally, since the system only permits one registration per email address, you'll still need to sign up separately. 🙂

I also have a question regarding Private Messages. Under the Rules, specifically the part detailing what the forum administration can do, it mentions they have the authority to delete sent and received private messages. I saw a discussion about whether the staff actually reads PMs, and someone mentioned that despite how it looks, they don't. So, do they read them or not, and what would be the reason for deleting a user's private messages?

I might step in to delete messages that serve as advertisements—like someone promoting another forum, for instance—if a complaint is filed. As for reading them, I wouldn't say that's really something we do. 🤷

Anyway, cheers. 😉