Posts by Sandra Parker3

lonegardener said:Yeah, I might be taking this a bit too far...

Sandra Parker3 Asks:
If you’re going to live by that principle, then honestly, I don't see any other way. To me, there isn't an alternative: you have to understand exactly where one person's rights end and another's begin.
In other words, by respecting his value system, you aren't undermining your own.
If you don't take the initiative to learn right away, you'll eventually pick it up. But if you refuse to learn at all? People will start manipulating you, and that’s when things get difficult.
Right now, the only one having an issue is the person who interprets a simple "wrong" look as an act of aggression. 😛

Do you think so? What if they respond to that phantom aggression with a counteroffensive? 😬

Sandra Parker3 As specified by:
So, "live and let live" actually works—provided you don't take the phrase too literally.

Errr... personally, I think it’s possible, but I definitely lean toward an avoidant personality. I’m just completely non-confrontational by nature. I can't even think of anyone I've ever truly gone toe-to-toe with. Honestly, if everyone could just embrace that principle, there wouldn't be nearly as many arguments, fights, or wars as we see today.

The history of the Churches of the Earth is a fascinating study in how spiritual movements evolve alongside the societies they inhabit. It’s a narrative that isn't just about theology, but about the shifting cultural landscapes of America over the centuries. What strikes me most is how these groups managed to maintain their core identities while navigating massive social upheavals. You see this pattern repeated throughout American religious history—groups attempting to find a balance between ancient tradition and the rapid modernization of the New World. It wasn't always a smooth transition, of course. There were periods of intense friction where institutional doctrines clashed directly with the burgeoning democratic ideals of the nation. It makes you wonder how much of our modern sense of community was shaped by these early religious structures. They weren't just places of worship; they functioned as vital social hubs during times when centralized government influence was still finding its footing. Looking back, it’s clear that these organizations played a role far more significant than many realize when discussing the foundational layers of American social fabric.

😈

What kind of counterattack
if he just gives you a dirty look—which is basically an attack in itself—what's the comeback 🤣

lonegardener said:Yeah, I might be taking this a bit too far...

Sandra Parker3 Asks:
If you’re going to live by that principle, then honestly, I don't see any other way. To me, there isn't an alternative: you have to understand exactly where one person's rights end and another's begin.
In other words, by respecting his value system, you aren't undermining your own.
If you don't take the initiative to learn right away, you'll eventually pick it up. But if you refuse to learn at all? People will start manipulating you, and that’s when things get difficult.
Right now, the only one having an issue is the person who interprets a simple "wrong" look as an act of aggression. 😛

Do you think so? What if they respond to that phantom aggression with a counteroffensive? 😬

Sandra Parker3 As specified by:
So, "live and let live" actually works—provided you don't take the phrase too literally.

Errr... personally, I think it’s possible, but I definitely lean toward an avoidant personality. I’m just completely non-confrontational by nature. I can't even think of anyone I've ever truly gone toe-to-toe with. Honestly, if everyone could just embrace that principle, there wouldn't be nearly as many arguments, fights, or wars as we see today.

The history of the Churches of the Earth is a fascinating study in how spiritual movements evolve alongside the societies they inhabit. It’s a narrative that isn't just about theology, but about the shifting cultural landscapes of America over the centuries. What strikes me most is how these groups managed to maintain their core identities while navigating massive social upheavals. You see this pattern repeated throughout American religious history—groups attempting to find a balance between ancient tradition and the rapid modernization of the New World. It wasn't always a smooth transition, of course. There were periods of intense friction where institutional doctrines clashed directly with the burgeoning democratic ideals of the nation. It makes you wonder how much of our modern sense of community was shaped by these early religious structures. They weren't just places of worship; they functioned as vital social hubs during times when centralized government influence was still finding its footing. Looking back, it’s clear that these organizations played a role far more significant than many realize when discussing the foundational layers of American social fabric.

😈

Yeah, I get what you're getting at
but... you love to play the intellectual, and honestly, I was just about ready to tell you to take a hike
you know, forget it 😁
besides, spite is a messy trigger

oh yeah, why didn't you go off on Tanja Oriđiđa back when they relocated you guys here because of religion? That was a while ago, but I still remember it clearly 😍

lonegardener said:Yeah, I might be taking this a bit too far...

Sandra Parker3 Asks:
If you’re going to live by that principle, then honestly, I don't see any other way. To me, there isn't an alternative: you have to understand exactly where one person's rights end and another's begin.
In other words, by respecting his value system, you aren't undermining your own.
If you don't take the initiative to learn right away, you'll eventually pick it up. But if you refuse to learn at all? People will start manipulating you, and that’s when things get difficult.
Right now, the only one having an issue is the person who interprets a simple "wrong" look as an act of aggression. 😛

Do you think so? What if they respond to that phantom aggression with a counteroffensive? 😬

Sandra Parker3 As specified by:
So, "live and let live" actually works—provided you don't take the phrase too literally.

Errr... personally, I think it’s possible, but I definitely lean toward an avoidant personality. I’m just completely non-confrontational by nature. I can't even think of anyone I've ever truly gone toe-to-toe with. Honestly, if everyone could just embrace that principle, there wouldn't be nearly as many arguments, fights, or wars as we see today.

The history of the Churches of the Earth is a fascinating study in how spiritual movements evolve alongside the societies they inhabit. It’s a narrative that isn't just about theology, but about the shifting cultural landscapes of America over the centuries. What strikes me most is how these groups managed to maintain their core identities while navigating massive social upheavals. You see this pattern repeated throughout American religious history—groups attempting to find a balance between ancient tradition and the rapid modernization of the New World. It wasn't always a smooth transition, of course. There were periods of intense friction where institutional doctrines clashed directly with the burgeoning democratic ideals of the nation. It makes you wonder how much of our modern sense of community was shaped by these early religious structures. They weren't just places of worship; they functioned as vital social hubs during times when centralized government influence was still finding its footing. Looking back, it’s clear that these organizations played a role far more significant than many realize when discussing the foundational layers of American social fabric.

😈

And you actually thought that was close to my idea? Wow... 😍

lonegardener said:The only way to truly stay out of everyone else's business is to live in the middle of the Mojave Desert with zero contact with other human beings.

A stranger's glance could easily be interpreted as an assault on one's integrity. If I were actually living by someone else's value system, I'd have to account for that too, wouldn't I?

But honestly, your conviction that this is easy—that there aren't any complications involved—is exactly why it's so difficult. If a handful of people firmly believe that different spheres of life are surgically separated, then any overlap between those domains is bound to trigger conflict. Both sides end up feeling like their boundaries were violated. And what you think won't happen because "everyone is minding their own business," you'll react even more violently to if someone actually *does* meddle in what you consider your territory. (Or, even if you personally won't—and I don't know how you operate—I'm fairly certain many others will. That brings us back to that superficial view of civilization 😬)

edit: Take a look at this list of rules, which illustrates your idea of "minding one's own business" quite well:

1. Do not give opinions or advice unless you are asked.
2. Do not tell your troubles to others unless you are sure they want to hear them.
3. When in another’s lair, show him respect or else do not go there.
4. If a guest in your lair annoys you, treat him cruelly and without mercy.
5. Do not make sexual advances unless you are given the mating signal.
6. Do not take that which does not belong to you unless it is a burden to the other person and he cries out to be relieved.
7. Acknowledge the power of magic if you have employed it successfully to obtain your desires. If you deny the power of magic after having called upon it with success, you will lose all you have obtained.
8. Do not complain about anything to which you need not subject yourself.
9. Do not harm little children.
10. Do not kill non-human animals unless you are attacked or for your food.
11. When walking in open territory, bother no one. If someone bothers you, ask him to stop. If he does not stop, destroy him.

Do you really think this set of rules would lead to a harmonious society if everyone followed it to the letter?

you're taking it to an extreme
you'll take someone else's values into account in a reasonable way
now tell me how those values are undefined and vary from one person to the next...
that's just reality

but if you live by that principle—and honestly, I don't see any other way—you'll eventually learn where their rights end
meaning, by respecting their values, you aren't erasing your own
if you don't pick it up right away, you will, but if you refuse to learn, people will manipulate you and you'll just end up having a hard time
for now, the only one having issues is the guy who interprets a "wrong" look as an act of aggression😛

lonegardener said:The only way to truly stay out of everyone else's business is to live in the middle of the Mojave Desert with zero contact with other human beings.

A stranger's glance could easily be interpreted as an assault on one's integrity. If I were actually living by someone else's value system, I'd have to account for that too, wouldn't I?

But honestly, your conviction that this is easy—that there aren't any complications involved—is exactly why it's so difficult. If a handful of people firmly believe that different spheres of life are surgically separated, then any overlap between those domains is bound to trigger conflict. Both sides end up feeling like their boundaries were violated. And what you think won't happen because "everyone is minding their own business," you'll react even more violently to if someone actually *does* meddle in what you consider your territory. (Or, even if you personally won't—and I don't know how you operate—I'm fairly certain many others will. That brings us back to that superficial view of civilization 😬)

edit: Take a look at this list of rules, which illustrates your idea of "minding one's own business" quite well:

1. Do not give opinions or advice unless you are asked.
2. Do not tell your troubles to others unless you are sure they want to hear them.
3. When in another’s lair, show him respect or else do not go there.
4. If a guest in your lair annoys you, treat him cruelly and without mercy.
5. Do not make sexual advances unless you are given the mating signal.
6. Do not take that which does not belong to you unless it is a burden to the other person and he cries out to be relieved.
7. Acknowledge the power of magic if you have employed it successfully to obtain your desires. If you deny the power of magic after having called upon it with success, you will lose all you have obtained.
8. Do not complain about anything to which you need not subject yourself.
9. Do not harm little children.
10. Do not kill non-human animals unless you are attacked or for your food.
11. When walking in open territory, bother no one. If someone bothers you, ask him to stop. If he does not stop, destroy him.

Do you really think this set of rules would lead to a harmonious society if everyone followed it to the letter?

I didn't say there were no problems, I said it wasn't "insanely difficult"
and people adapt their behavior; we aren't isolated rocks or grains of sand in your desert

by adaptation, I didn't mean submission, because then the people with the strongest convictions regarding their ideas and needs would always come out on top

though... 🤔

so, since I don't believe these domains are strictly walled off, you can't really use me as an example
and the reason I'm even bothering to explain this is

because I think we often overthink things until they become absurd, convincing ourselves that something is impossible
when it's actually not
basically, live & let live is possible, as long as you don't take it so literally that you lose the nuance

lonegardener said:The only way to truly stay out of everyone else's business is to live in the middle of the Mojave Desert with zero contact with other human beings.

A stranger's glance could easily be interpreted as an assault on one's integrity. If I were actually living by someone else's value system, I'd have to account for that too, wouldn't I?

But honestly, your conviction that this is easy—that there aren't any complications involved—is exactly why it's so difficult. If a handful of people firmly believe that different spheres of life are surgically separated, then any overlap between those domains is bound to trigger conflict. Both sides end up feeling like their boundaries were violated. And what you think won't happen because "everyone is minding their own business," you'll react even more violently to if someone actually *does* meddle in what you consider your territory. (Or, even if you personally won't—and I don't know how you operate—I'm fairly certain many others will. That brings us back to that superficial view of civilization 😬)

edit: Take a look at this list of rules, which illustrates your idea of "minding one's own business" quite well:

1. Do not give opinions or advice unless you are asked.
2. Do not tell your troubles to others unless you are sure they want to hear them.
3. When in another’s lair, show him respect or else do not go there.
4. If a guest in your lair annoys you, treat him cruelly and without mercy.
5. Do not make sexual advances unless you are given the mating signal.
6. Do not take that which does not belong to you unless it is a burden to the other person and he cries out to be relieved.
7. Acknowledge the power of magic if you have employed it successfully to obtain your desires. If you deny the power of magic after having called upon it with success, you will lose all you have obtained.
8. Do not complain about anything to which you need not subject yourself.
9. Do not harm little children.
10. Do not kill non-human animals unless you are attacked or for your food.
11. When walking in open territory, bother no one. If someone bothers you, ask him to stop. If he does not stop, destroy him.

Do you really think this set of rules would lead to a harmonious society if everyone followed it to the letter?

Seriously, please tell me where you found this 😁
If everyone actually lived by this code, we'd all just end up as zombies

I actually like this one:

11. When walking in open territory, bother no one. If someone bothers you, ask him to stop. If he does not stop, destroy him.

😁

tatyana39 said:I think the way you laid that out suggests this isn't really an issue of intolerance, but rather just basic human fallibility.

Yeah, we’re talking about that massive gap between what they claim to stand for and how they actually act in the real world. 🙂

Emily Hayes said:"Being tolerant" sounds like such a beautiful, noble concept. But honestly? It’s incredibly easy to be tolerant toward things that feel worlds away from your own life.

I don't want to paint everyone with the same brush or make sweeping generalizations about "everyone," so instead, I'll just share something deeply personal from my own life.

I always believed—truly, I did—that I was an open-minded person and that being gay was perfectly fine. That was until a close friend of mine came out to me, and it felt like a bolt of lightning had struck my brain. In that moment, I realized just how many subconscious biases I actually held. It turns out it's remarkably easy to preach "live and let live" when the reality isn't knocking on your own front door.
He is still a wonderful friend today, and honestly, we’ve both grown immensely through our respective relationships. But back then, it was something I truly had to work to accept and adjust to. I had to do some serious internal heavy lifting to dismantle my own supposed liberalism and realize that accepting difference is one thing when it's happening somewhere else, but it's a completely different beast when it hits home.

(Just to be crystal clear, I wasn't trying to pressure him to "change" or anything like that 😁 😁 😁)

As for today, all I know is that I am constantly striving to be tolerant and progressive. But I also know that I haven't quite reached that goal yet. Because if a Muslim colleague were to invite me over to his house and drop me into a world that is fundamentally different from mine, I know I wouldn't have all the answers immediately. It would take some time. I think the only real difference between people is that some will take the necessary time to process and embrace diversity, while others will simply reject it outright.

What exactly am I supposed to be spending my time on?
Is it about understanding, or just learning to accept it?
Comparing differences to me feels a lot like eye accommodation—just a standard, natural process.
You probably accepted their existence in the first place, right up until the moment you "allowed" them the chance to walk through your front door. 🙂

lonegardener said:Do you honestly believe that?

From where I'm sitting, looking at the broader sweep of civilization, I suspect it's a bit more complicated than you're making it out to be...

It’s not about believing, I know it's true.

What kind of "glance at civilization," even a casual one, 😁
isn't really just about you and your own attitudes and how you act?

The whole "live and let live" thing basically boils down to staying out of business that isn't yours
which makes things much easier.
I'm pretty sure most people instinctively know where that line is drawn.
If you’re hell-bent on making life miserable for someone or some group, there’s nothing that’ll stop you.

So, the issue isn't some failure to balance value systems or whatever—it's just that you simply want to.

silentnomad23 said:Let’s start by asking ourselves what tolerance actually means. Does it mean we truly understand and accept what we are tolerating in any given instance? Or does it sometimes just mean, "I don't really want to dig into this," while clinging to the image of being a tolerant, liberal person who isn't bothered by anything? It feels like some people permit everything not because they grasp the nuances, but simply because they want to maintain distance from certain people or social phenomena. They basically say, "Look, I get where they're coming from, but please, just take your hand off my shoulder so I can move on." In eras that allow for it, tolerance even becomes a status symbol or a marketable commodity—which explains the growing dissonance we see today.
If I am truly going to reflect on something, I need to put myself in a position where I confront the things that actually bother me and ask why they cause discomfort. But nowadays, the concept of tolerance is being used as a tool for brainwashing. A mind that is convinced of its own tolerance often fails to think critically about the specific issue at hand; it remains "tolerant" by default, granting permission for everything, which ultimately turns that person into the perfect, unquestioning consumer.

It really is. It's become incredibly trendy to claim you're "tolerant," acting like you understand everyone and everything without ever passing judgment, simply because......
people say what they're supposed to say at first, but eventually... by the third time around, they start saying what they actually think, and you don't have to wait long to see it happen 🙂

lonegardener said:Paper can handle just about anything... especially a pile of beautiful wishes.

Of course. In fact, I think we're actually on the same page... except I'm not the one practicing relativism here. I'm simply observing the current reality, whether people like it or not. Isn't it a plain fact that conflicting value systems are floating all around us? Look, this isn't about my personal opinion; it's just an observation you can see everywhere. The very existence of these different value systems means that everyone defines "harm" differently. No declaration can erase that truth. In fact, one could argue that any attempt to force a "universal" value system onto everyone is itself a fundamental violation of the right to define what one values!

So, what is an indecisive person like me supposed to do? Set my own boundaries and criteria? Align myself with the system that impresses me most? Or just go with whatever seems to be the most popular? How do you handle it?

Exactly.
And saying "live and let live" actually implies that you should bother considering a value system that isn't yours—meaning you adjust your own behavior to account for someone else's totally different definition of harm.

In practice, it's not actually that hard; you usually find you can pull off that little mental gymnastic quite easily if you actually give a damn.😁

lonegardener said:Yeah, I’ve chewed on that idea before, but eventually, it just started getting under my skin. 😍

Seriously though—when a person undergoes a change (and I mean an intentional shift, not the kind that happens to you against your will through life experience), what exactly is the part of us driving that transformation? And can THAT specific thing—whatever it may be—ever actually change?

To me, it feels like the core stays the same. Even when you're evolving, there's this underlying "self" that wants the change in the first place, and that part seems pretty fixed. Or am I totally missing the mark here?

Honestly, it was a completely serious response. 🙂

You basically have to start everything from scratch... if you can even figure out how to apply that to a situation where you're already stuck.
An accident only counts if you actually screw up so badly that you have to start the whole thing over from scratch.

So you end up with a few different versions of your unfinished self, and honestly, that’s just a mess.

Quincy:

lonegardener Asks: Seriously though—when someone actually undergoes a change (and I mean a deliberate choice, not just some passive thing that happens to you because life throws you a curveball), what is it *inside* us that actually drives that shift? And more importantly, can that core mechanism itself be changed? It feels like everything just stays exactly the same to me... like, even when you're actively trying to change, that core part of you driving the transformation remains untouched. Or am I just overthinking this?

I honestly can't tell if you've genuinely mixed things up here, though there's a fair chance you actually have. 🙄

I think—and I could be wrong here—that THAT shouldn't change, though I won't actually name THAT because I have my own specific way of referring to it. 🤣

Why do you even care? Are you trying to change who you are, or are you just looking to tear everything down? (Watch out, this could get dangerous.)

getting a whole new identity

Sandra Richardson53 said:The sum of the parts makes the whole
the environment shapes the people
it’s a feedback loop you can't deny

And regarding those "idyllic" coastal spots
or those tiny hamlets and small towns
just walk into a typical dive bar or cafe in the middle of winter
where the locals hang out
and take a good look at the level of culture, education, and the general state of their minds and souls.

I'm saying go into a dive bar or a cafe because those are the only places people actually gather. The only other spot would be a church, but all you'll find there are a few grandmas wrapped up in black.

Sure, people can be nice, kind, or easygoing. They might even be genuinely hospitable, and you might even have a decent conversation with them for a bit. Some of those little towns might look pretty and charming on a postcard, but you can't ignore the overall backwardness unless you're lying to yourself...

things aren't like they used to be; people are mobile now. They don't just stay within a tiny radius anymore; they go wherever they want—to the movies, theaters, they read, they get educated, they move away, and they come back...
there’s also this other trend where people leave the overcrowded cities to settle in smaller towns, living there while working elsewhere and finding entertainment everywhere. A car solves almost everything, and it changes the whole profile of these small communities
so they don't even need to leave to find culture, because culture comes to them if they choose to embrace it, just like in any major city.🙂

I’m not claiming differences don't exist or that you can't tell who’s waving goodbye to civilization, but it shouldn't be an "intellectuals versus the uneducated" thing.

Dive bars exist in big cities too, so tell me, where in Washington, D.C. can you find those tacky clubs with bad singing that people claim have zero culture?
and who actually goes there?
do you really think someone coming from a small town into the city is going to hit a bar just to smash glasses, or is that just what happens with the locals in those rural spots?

Look, I have nothing against anyone having their own way of having fun, but it honestly bugs me when small towns are constantly branded as breeding grounds for ignorance.

And get this—on top of someone previously claiming those areas were hubs for all kinds of debauchery, now they're being labeled as unsanitary, too.😲

😍

In America, it's not just Washington, D.C. that gets all the attention
you've got these tiny, pristine towns
almost picture-perfect island communities
and highly developed rural areas
where you don't run into people wandering around being small-minded, uneducated, dim-witted, or just plain filthy

It’s rarely the towns themselves dragging things down; it’s always just certain individuals within them

Sandra Richardson53 said:Oh, absolutely. Some spend their free time obsessing over football, some are getting manicures, some are reading tabloids and gossiping about celebrities, and some... well, some just live for the drama.....😍

I totally agree that there are plenty of fascinating people out there with diverse interests, and if you take the time to actually talk to them and get past the surface, you can be pretty pleasantly surprised.

But honestly? I still think the level of ignorance in these online spaces is through the roof. Just look at the stats—in the US, the average person uses way more soap than you'd think, yet hygiene levels can be such a tell-tale sign of how backward a society is. That kind of physical sloppiness usually goes hand-in-hand with being intellectually, creatively, and spiritually dull. Of course, it’s different in big cities like New York or LA, much like how it differs among the youth and the educated crowd.

Anyway, that's just my two cents... 🙂

I’m actually lowering that average myself since I mostly use liquid body wash, which I doubt was even factored into those statistics.😁
Besides, if we're going to split hairs, nobody really uses soap in its original, primitive form like they used to because there are so many better alternatives out there now, but I won't get sidetracked by that.

So, you really have to look at how that data was collected before jumping to any conclusions based on the results.

And I find it hard to believe anyone would go around counting bars of soap today just to try and prove some sort of sociological point.🤷
It feels more like something out of the old Depression era when soap and water were the only things people could count on.😉

I also think it's a pretty flawed assumption that people living in big cities—especially intellectuals or younger generations—don't deal with hygiene issues compared to everyone else.

Sandra Richardson53 said:I totally get where you're coming from,

and honestly, it’s not just some small-town thing... it happens everywhere in this country.

Most people out there just don't have any real interests. They live these incredibly shallow lives where they only care about two or three trivial things and barely use more than five hundred words a day. Sure, they might glance at a newspaper, but they couldn't tell you a single thing they actually read if their life depended on it. It's like they're stuck in this primitive, tribal mindset... nothing more.

Personally, I’ve got a handful of friends who actually share my interests. When we hang out, the conversations are intense, fast-paced, and actually feed my brain. Everything else? Just mindless chatter that makes me want to shut up and walk away.

But look, there are some seriously sharp, witty, and educated people on this forum with all sorts of wild interests. They write stuff that's actually inspiring. So, if your local scene is totally suffocating, you’ve found the right spot. You can find your people here in this digital space instead.

Where on earth did you read that? Please, give me a source
unless this is just purely your own opinion.

Oops, this whole Gmail thing feels a little masochistic to me 🤷

top right above the first post: tools - subscribe to this thread - add subscription

Donna Sullivan7 said:..like nobody can talk sense into him because he thinks he's the ultimate authority on everything... and if I recall correctly, his last update was about how he ended up in rehab...(I'm sure you know exactly who we're talking about)😉

I have a vague memory of this, but I can't quite put my finger on it.
Could you send me a link if you have one? You can just DM me, I'm actually pretty curious. 😁

Donna Sullivan7 said:-Personally, I don't mind if someone's just trying to offer some genuine, well-meaning advice
(without digging too deep into someone's private business)...
-but trying to dictate someone's dosage or
telling them to scale back on meds they were officially prescribed by a doctor based on a single sentence or some vague info... that's just plain wrong. It's honestly pretty childish.

@Jeremy Palmer-which ones?
-I ran into this guy who, because of his own little "convictions," was basically telling people to ditch their therapy (questioning how they even function without it). He even went on record advocating for drugs, publicly... and now, word is he's actually on medication himself...(you know the type...)
-There were even hints of actual illegal activity involved, but isn't that what the moderators are here for?? To step in when posts cross the line.👎

Yeah, but they haven't been much help so far, at least from what I've seen
I don't follow every single thread, obviously—I can't keep up with everything—so I was wondering... did you say anything when you spotted those "suspicious" pieces of advice?

Carol Baker6 said:But what about all that garbage advice you see in tabloids, like the New York Post?

I've lost count of how many times I've seen people fall for their nonsense—lies, scams, straight-up manipulation, twisting facts... you name it. And when you actually try to warn people, they just stare at you like you're the crazy one, saying, "Are you kidding? It was in the paper!"

And don't even get me started on the rest of the mainstream media outlets. They're all running the same playbook, maybe just slightly less aggressively than the Post, which is basically the gold standard for this kind of junk.

That's a completely different topic entirely
Newspapers, magazines... there's an editor, someone who puts them into circulation, and someone who is held accountable by their actual name... at least initially
That's not how things work here

Jeremy Palmer said:Honestly, I wish I could just stay quiet too
- Who are these people on this subforum acting like psychiatrists or specialists, trying to run a therapy clinic through their posts?
- Or better yet, who are the ones pretending to be professionals just to mislead innocent users with psychological jargon?
- Does anyone actually know someone who was misled by these "experts," potentially leading them down the wrong path and making their situation worse?

If the original post included actual facts, it would carry much more weight because it would be based on reality rather than just a gut feeling.

Kenneth Peterson5 — I'm not quite sure what to say to you. This woman basically told you straight up that you're talking nonsense and that your comments are getting on her nerves, yet you claim to enjoy her exact way of being... I was really expecting your usual style of sharp, intelligent rebuttals backed by solid logic... but hey, if that's the kind of treatment you're into... 🙂

I'm not sure if calling out specific handles is against the rules here, and honestly, I'd rather avoid starting a massive flame war...
I see this thread more as a warning to watch out for certain patterns; I'm not saying everyone who follows advice is a mindless sheep without checking facts elsewhere first, either.

Since some people are already sharing their own "encounters" with these so-called "experts," I don't think this topic is just based on some vague feeling.

The thing is, none of us can truly know if anyone has been fooled or if their condition has worsened because we don't get any follow-up feedback.

In my opinion, it's important to speak up right here in the thread if you spot advice that looks suspicious or is just flat-out wrong.

Why did the opening post cause such a massive stir? 😁

slypuma17 said:I’m with you on this.
How can we actually verify the validity of what she’s claiming regarding her professor or the specific college courses she supposedly completed? 🙄

We need to be careful here. People come to forums like this to unwind or vent, but you also have trolls who treat everything as a game, making things up just for the hell of it. In my experience, those types are often the most prevalent group—so where does that leave us? How are we meant to PROVE someone is being sincere rather than just killing time with fabrications?
🤔

Doesn't matter. This whole "my professor said so" routine is a classic trope you see on TV all the time, but the core issue remains the same.

slypuma17 said:I’m with you on this.
How can we actually verify the validity of what she’s claiming regarding her professor or the specific college courses she supposedly completed? 🙄

We need to be careful here. People come to forums like this to unwind or vent, but you also have trolls who treat everything as a game, making things up just for the hell of it. In my experience, those types are often the most prevalent group—so where does that leave us? How are we meant to PROVE someone is being sincere rather than just killing time with fabrications?
🤔

It’s irrelevant.
What matters is spotting the people spreading lies that could actually hurt someone.
And those are usually the ones who have mastered technical jargon perfectly... only to use it to make things up.
I don't know why they do it... probably just some personal frustrations they need to vent.

Jeremy Palmer said:I guess you'll be an expert one day too...👎That’s a pretty brutal way to start a post. Honestly, I don't get why you're being so rude to this girl; she clearly knows what she's talking about.

I didn't realize anyone here was posting as some kind of authority figure. It seems pretty delusional to think that someone coming to this forum with a problem believes they're going to find a panel of world-class experts. I have no idea why you assumed people here are presenting themselves as professionals.

From where I'm sitting, I just see real, sensitive people sharing their views, their unique perspectives, and their own personal experiences regarding certain issues.

You're underselling both the people asking for help—by assuming they're too clueless to realize there aren't pros behind these posts—and those responding, by acting like everyone here is just some internet doctor trying to play physician.

Oh, I certainly am.

Jeremy Palmer said:I guess you'll be an expert one day too...👎That’s a pretty brutal way to start a post. Honestly, I don't get why you're being so rude to this girl; she clearly knows what she's talking about.

I didn't realize anyone here was posting as some kind of authority figure. It seems pretty delusional to think that someone coming to this forum with a problem believes they're going to find a panel of world-class experts. I have no idea why you assumed people here are presenting themselves as professionals.

From where I'm sitting, I just see real, sensitive people sharing their views, their unique perspectives, and their own personal experiences regarding certain issues.

You're underselling both the people asking for help—by assuming they're too clueless to realize there aren't pros behind these posts—and those responding, by acting like everyone here is just some internet doctor trying to play physician.

Even though you didn't ask me, I'll tell you exactly why I reached that conclusion.
It's based on their command of terminology and their communication style.
They aren't just throwing out solutions after hearing one tiny piece of data;
they're using the exact kind of questions and conversational patterns a psychologist or therapist would use in a session.
A real expert might be able to turn a tiny grain of doubt into a smoking gun to expose a fraud, but the reality is that plenty of people won't suspect a thing, and some might even fall for the "solutions" being offered, don't you think?
You don't have to be an idiot to fall for a polished presentation.

Jeremy Palmer said:I guess you'll be an expert one day too...👎That’s a pretty brutal way to start a post. Honestly, I don't get why you're being so rude to this girl; she clearly knows what she's talking about.

I didn't realize anyone here was posting as some kind of authority figure. It seems pretty delusional to think that someone coming to this forum with a problem believes they're going to find a panel of world-class experts. I have no idea why you assumed people here are presenting themselves as professionals.

From where I'm sitting, I just see real, sensitive people sharing their views, their unique perspectives, and their own personal experiences regarding certain issues.

You're underselling both the people asking for help—by assuming they're too clueless to realize there aren't pros behind these posts—and those responding, by acting like everyone here is just some internet doctor trying to play physician.

Why would you assume it’s stupid to think the person posting could be an expert and just an average person at the same time?
Some of the responders really are idiots, specifically those acting like "professors."
They’re all over this place, and honestly, I can't tell if you just don't care, or if you actually think it's impossible for that to happen.🙄

Since we're going there, I might as well get specific....
I ran into one particular "professor" once (female, but I won't specify the gender since there's a username that makes it confusing)
She had every single one of the traits mentioned above
And on top of that... reading through her other posts where she wasn't even trying to offer psychological help, it's pretty obvious this "expert" has some serious personal baggage of her own... and I mean a lot more than just a little.

Jerry Green59 said:During my very first psychopathology lecture—held over at the university clinic—some guy walked into the classroom, looking incredibly serious. He gave us a quick nod, introduced himself as our professor, and... well, he got straight to work.

He talked about illnesses.
About disorders.
And various diagnoses.

The man was throwing around heavy terminology like he was getting paid by the syllable, just rattling off terms while we all sat there staring at each other, desperately trying to scribble everything down.

Then he moved on to case studies and patients, though it was impossible to ignore the palpable sense of contempt in his voice whenever he mentioned them.

Suddenly, a woman walked in accompanied by two nurses.
She greeted the class, acknowledged the "professor," and took her seat at the head of the room while the nurses escorted our "colleague" out. She then turned to us and asked one question.

"Which one of you actually believed he was a professor?"

Every single one of us raised our hands.

Unbelievable.

Kenneth Peterson5—whenever someone on a forum starts handing out clinical diagnoses or life advice based on thin evidence like "I didn't grow up with my father"—just know you're likely dealing with a "professor."

Being able to toss around technical jargon certainly suggests a person is familiar with the subject matter.

But it doesn't tell you if they're familiar with it as an expert, or simply as a patient.

So, please, be skeptical when accepting "professional" advice from internet forums.

That’s all.

I think that’s a fair comment, whether you call it a warning or whatever else.

It just occurred to me... where do those undelivered messages actually go? 😕

I mean, you know... when someone’s inbox is totally maxed out or their account gets banned, the system gives you a clear error saying the message couldn't be sent. But this 🤷 is honestly pretty weird if you really think about it 😁

vividfalcon14 said:Well, if you already tried it, then fine! I haven't actually used the ignore feature on this forum yet, so I can't say for sure. It seems like that's just how the AP is set up. 🙂

Actually, scratch that, it's not okay... I just gave it another shot and it turns out it won't work
I have no idea, I probably messed something up the first time, though honestly, I wouldn't be surprised if it's just the forum acting up again 😁