Posts by mistyseal11

hollowsailor48 said:Look, man, just smoke some weed and get lost in the trip. Who cares what happens? If you hit a massive high, awesome. If you don't? Even better. Either way, it’s a win-win in my book. 😁

Man, I would love to.

anyone sliding into my DMs?

I don't touch the stuff because drinking just makes you put on weight,

plus, booze totally wrecks my mental health. It just triggers all these heavy, negative emotions,
so I really don't see it as a viable option.

Man, I don't even know, I'm just not feeling it today.

Gonna go light one up.

Alex Patel96 said:But what happens when he stops seeing his therapist?🤷
He just ends up right back in the same environment where nobody gives a damn about him.

I don't even have Facebook anymore—deleted it— http://ssl.facebook.com/help/contact...delete_account
, and I tossed my SIM card in the trash too,

so I'm planning on spending my next chapter being totally social at some inpatient facility 🙂
because honestly, most of the time I'm just hanging out at home by myself... like, literally. Solo.

I honestly feel like if I kicked the bucket right now, nobody would even notice.

Like, not a single person from my "inner circle" would even show up.

Honestly, life is just getting way too monotonous and I’ve got zero motivation to actually get moving.

I’m basically living in total isolation here.

I find myself walking out onto the balcony—since I can still move around, at least—just threatening to jump.

I just need something, anything, to spark some kind of reaction, and I’m dying to know what that might be.

Look, I don't actually want to die; I’d just be faking it.
I just really need someone to look out for me, to show even a tiny bit of care
and for something, I don't know, to actually fucking happen...

Will I just get wiped out, or will I actually get a little attention
and maybe some various pills?

edit: I've got good health insurance.🙂

Try rewinding the whole story in your head by constantly asking, "What led up to this moment... what happened right before that... what caused *that*..." and for every single step, really dig into how many actual choices you had versus how much was just pure, random chaos 🙂

For example, I met this one girl because of a total blowout fight down at a local fishing pond. How?

It all started because of my buddy's ex... some guys got confused and decided to jump my friend...

I ended up breaking a bone in my hand—my metacarpal—and now I need surgery. While I'm stuck here in the hospital room, there’s this older guy nearby whose daughter is coming to visit him 😁

Everything eventually comes full circle. The universe is just one big closed loop.

You just gotta let go and go with the flow.

You can't spend your whole life being such a massive pessimist; there's just no way that works out.

Even though it feels like this right now, if I can't make it through, then screw it—I'll just check out early and find my way back to this exact same spot anyway.

Man, I feel like I'm never gonna reach nirvana. 🙂

Donna Hill8 said:at Walter Peterson:
so how did you actually come to terms with it?
did you just move past it, or did you eventually learn how to live with it?

at mistyseal11:
are you basically saying you want to die? like, you don't want to live? why?
I don't think I could ever even consider that unless I was in a situation where chronic pain was physically destroying me and the painkillers weren't doing a damn thing...
and why wouldn't I consider it?
well, because when you're healthy, you can do whatever you want, go wherever you want, or completely flip your life upside down—it just takes a little effort and willpower, right?

I don't know, I just don't have the energy for it.

I would never even think about doing that, unless I was in a situation where chronic pain was just absolutely destroying my body and even the heavy-duty painkillers weren't touching it...

Look, I'm not gonna sit here and list out every single thing I'm dealing with or try to explain myself, because honestly, I just don't have the will to fight to prove anything when it doesn't even matter for this conversation.

Well, it's because when you're healthy, you can do whatever you want,
go wherever you feel like, and completely turn your life around.

That's true, but I'm not healthy, read what I said above.

Just a little effort and some willpower, right?

For what, though? What's the point?
What am I even aiming for?

I just don't see any light at the end of the tunnel.

Donna Hill8 said:Would you mind if I asked you a few things?

If you were in a car accident and ended up with a permanent disability, would everything still feel the same to you? Would you really be indifferent?
How would you handle a condition that isn't fatal, but is chronic—something like dealing with agonizing headaches every single day?
And would it truly not matter to you if, by some twist of fate, your loved ones left you and you found yourself mostly alone?

I'm not trying to be provocative here, I promise; I am genuinely curious, given that you claim to fear nothing and feel no sadness.

alright, my turn to weigh in

How would you react if you were in a car wreck and ended up disabled—would everything still be the same to you, would you just not care?

man, I'd be freaking out, but my community would look after me, I'd be popping painkillers, and maybe even scrape enough together for some medical weed...
I'd be on cloud nine, honestly, because I wouldn't have to worry about a single damn thing anymore.
who's gonna want someone as wrecked as me anyway?
I’d probably just overdose on the meds....
the way things are, I at least hope something actually changes, but until I change myself, nothing's gonna move, so the consequences are exactly the same.

and that's why people like me—patients like me—aren't gonna see any change at all
yeah, I'm tempting fate here, because frankly, I don't have the balls to deal with all those traditional methods.

I'm currently in the process of sourcing some barbiturates 🙂

and if I definitely end up dying, my reaction would just be: "Yeah, okay, I wanted this, goodbye world"

How would you handle an illness that isn't fatal but is chronic, like if you had a massive headache every single day?

I've got a few of those
I won't get into the weeds right now, but yeah, I suffer through that.

Would it matter to you if, by some twist of fate, your loved ones left you and you were left more or less alone?

they already have, and with these last three people left—whether they stay or go, I feel ALONE anyway!
and I'm celebrating New Year's ALONE too!
there you go.
I'm getting used to it.

These questions aren't meant to provoke, I'm genuinely curious since you say you aren't afraid of anything and nothing upsets you?

absolutely. the only thing I'm scared of is institutions and bars, ending up in a state where I can't even take my own life.

For sure.

Is suicide even an exit at this point? Or is death just the inevitable fallout from thinking like this?
(It’s basically a self-fulfilling prophecy / tempting fate)

Bogovićeva (that little cottage under the setting sun)

Yo, did anyone catch if they have those huge chocolate Santa Claus figures? Like, half a meter tall?

Also, I'm on the hunt for a really high-quality Santa hat—needs to fit a bigger head 🙂.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KpLNlSKugHw

Seriously, you guys have to check this out!

😉

Look, when you gotta swallow then just swallow the damn pills... can't go blaming anyone else.

thanks for the reply! 🙂

if they're gonna be so obsessed with babysitting young drivers, then honestly, why not just give them lighter penalties too? lol
''become a rookie driver yourself for just $9.99...''

The defendant....

HE'S GUILTY

because on August 29, 2007,

1) he was operating his personal vehicle... and it was established that he was driving as a novice driver without having anyone over the age of 25 in the car who holds a valid Class B license and isn't currently under any driving bans.

which means he violated Section 221, Subsection 4 of the Vehicle Code, punishable under Section 221, Subsection 9 of that same statute.

Section 221, Subsection 4 states that a novice driver will be hit with a fine of $333 if they act contrary to the provisions laid out in subsection 3 of this section..
Section 221, Subsection 9 doesn't even exist.

2) because during the same incident, it was determined he didn't have his valid driver's license on him—the one that hasn't been subject to any bans or restrictions.

Section 229, Subsection 5.
A fine of $100 will be imposed on any driver who fails to carry their driver's license or refuses to present it when requested by a police officer.

meaning he committed a violation under Section 229, Subsection 1 of the Vehicle Code, punishable by Section 229, Subsection 5 of the same law, so the court is setting

for offense 1), a fine of $167
for offense 2), a fine of $100

and based on Section 49, Subsection 1 of the Misdemeanor Act, his total fine is set at $267

(+$133 court costs)

------
Also, the judge shot down every single one of my appeals (fine, whatever) BUT they completely twisted my words in the written explanation,

man, seeing "guilty under 1)" actually caused me some serious mental anguish—I mean, how would you feel if someone branded you guilty of something that isn't even in the law books? huh?
And on top of that, I actually have to pay the fine. It’s a total nightmare, I'm not even kidding.

The verdict was handed down on May 6, 2008, and I just got it today.

I'm begging for some advice on what to do next. Please. Look, I've still got about 5 months left before the statute of limitations kicks in under the old law (which was way more lenient, obviously).

Just brewed myself some Folgers.
+I’m hitting my body with about 3-4g of Vitamin C every single day (Emergen-C)

Hey everyone!

On Wednesday (Feb 11th), I woke up with a 103.3 fever and this damn cough.
My temperature keeps bouncing around, but the coughing just won't quit—if anything, it’s actually getting worse...

One day when I was feeling even slightly better, I went out for a walk with a buddy,
and now? I try to light up a cigarette and there is absolutely no way. It feels disgusting. My body is just rejecting it.
And look, I was smoking about two packs a day.
Could the cough be getting worse because I'm trying to quit??

What should I do??
The doctor prescribed some codeine syrup to help with the coughing, but it isn't doing squat.
My lungs and my chest are absolutely killing me, and honestly, my throat doesn't even hurt anymore because everything else is so bad...

Best,

9800 GT, PCIe x16, 512 MB, DDR3, 256-bit, GPU clock at 600 MHz, memory clock at 1800 MHz, $300 what do you guys think?