I wasn't even trying to lecture anyone on how they should have fun or play rather, I was just suggesting we let kids actually have some downtime. If we let them be bored for a bit, they might actually look around and find something productive to do. We can toss out a few ideas if they're stuck, but that’s really where it ends
It probably comes down to the fact that forcing kids into nine months of non-stop schooling just doesn't make sense, especially since they really need a break from all that studying I honestly think two and a half months off is more than enough time for them to go out and have some fun Then there's the whole issue of parents struggling to figure out how to keep their kids occupied
essentially, it's because kids haven't really learned how to entertain themselves
I’ve had this thing on my right leg for about twenty years now. There were times when it would ache a bit while I was walking, and my doctor suggested it might just be some fatty tissue near the vein causing it to bulge slightly before and after activity, though he mentioned I could have it removed if it ever actually started bothering me. Since it hasn't really caused me any trouble for years and I don't even feel it anymore, I've just left it alone. It probably all started back in my younger days from all the dancing I used to do in local community theater groups.
Jacob Evans49 said:This happens to me all the time. It’s this wild sensation right as I’m drifting off—kind of like I'm sinking... then I jerk, lift my head, roll over, and boom, I'm wide awake. Every once in a while, even less often, I'll get this high-pitched ringing in my ears instead. It’s super quick, maybe just a second.
It feels like during that second stage of sleep, just before you hit the deep stuff, your internal sensory systems basically just bottom out. Why or how? Don't ask me, 😁 maybe it's just an "overflow" of all the stimulation we soak up throughout the day.
Daniel Moore14 said:You can find an explanation for that in the book "Conversation with God," or just look it up online. Like someone else mentioned, it’s the soul returning to the body after astral traveling. That jerk is just the soul re-entering the physical frame. It's also explained that sleep serves this exact purpose—allowing the soul to detach because being tethered to a body is restrictive and exhausting for it. It isn't the soul's natural state. They say that's why infants sleep so much; the soul needs more time to adjust to the constraints of a body. As we get older, we don't need as much sleep because the soul handles the restriction a bit better. Makes sense to me. Not sure about you all.🙂
Babies need all that sleep because their brains aren't fully developed yet. Most of a baby's sleep is spent in the REM phase, which is when those neural connections are actually being built based on internal sensory input.
velvetwolf26 said:This has happened to me more than once. I remember one night I had this dream where I was totally paralyzed—like, zero movement, nothing. I panicked so hard that I jolted awake and actually smacked my head against the dresser. It wasn't anything serious, just a bump, but man, I was genuinely terrified of going to sleep for the next month...
That sensation of being totally frozen is pretty common, isn't it? During REM sleep—the stage where we actually dream—your muscles basically lose all their tone and tension, leaving you effectively immobilized.
I usually write down all the bus numbers and their destinations on little scraps of paper just to stay organized. When you think you’ve found the right driver, you show them your list. If they give you a quick nod, you know you're good to go. I always try to grab a seat right behind the driver so they can point out exactly where I need to hop off. I do the exact same thing with the next driver, too.
I make sure to have my friend's address handy and enough cash tucked in my pocket just in case I end up needing an Uber. Having that extra bit of security always puts me at ease, even though I’ve honestly never had any issues using my debit card or anything else. If being alone at the station makes you nervous, bring a book and find a spot near a service desk or one of those staff booths to read until morning—assuming there isn't a coffee shop nearby to hang out in, which I highly doubt happens at these stops.
Why would a man even want to be a father... What does being a father actually mean to you? Maybe if you could describe your own father to us, it might make it a little easier for the guys here to weigh in on whether they’d want to step into that role or not.
A friend of mine once said something quite beautiful—something along the lines of growing alongside your children. To me, that captures the whole essence of it. We've been given this innate opportunity to evolve as individuals through the experience of parenting. As for the idea that women desire children more, I honestly think that’s just something we’ve been conditioned to believe. Historically, a woman wasn't even considered "real" unless she was a mother; it was how her identity was defined. Men didn't face those same societal pressures, and frankly, they rarely had the chance to be the kind of fathers that modern standards actually expect them to be. Still, it’s genuinely good to see more men finally discovering the richness that life offers when they embrace parenthood.
Maybe the issue is that you’re treating your "kindness" like a transaction, expecting some kind of return or validation for being a good person in the first place.
If I’m a good person, I’m doing it for myself, isn't that right? It’s just part of my DNA, a core piece of who I am, and honestly, it's how I feel best about myself. Besides, how can I truly claim to be a good person if I can't even accept people for who they actually are? If they feel fine being themselves, then who am I to demand they change their entire lives just to make me feel more comfortable? Otherwise, maybe I'm just not satisfied with this version of kindness—maybe it isn't my true self at all.
Gary Cooper11 said:Yeah... but what if we flip the script? That’s really what’s been weighing on my mind lately... I mean, looking back at all my relationships, I’ve noticed a pattern: I always seem to attract guys who are okay with how I actually behave towards them... The only real issue is that they get used to me being pretty arrogant or saying some pretty harsh things when certain situations pop up. That isn't who I want to be—I don't want to crush anyone's spirit—but honestly, my self-control just isn't quite strong enough to stop myself when I start reacting intensely! Does that make more sense now? Because that is the core of the problem! P.S. I was actually at work when I was typing this, so it’s no wonder I totally messed up the phrasing! (I work in customer service answering phones 🙂 )
Maybe they just sense that you're being your authentic self.
Gary Cooper11 said:Goodness gracious, people, why is it so hard to see what I'm trying to get at here? Let's try to simplify this... everything you mentioned is fine, okay... but do you honestly think I wouldn't find these things interesting if I didn't have an "open channel" in my brain for perceiving complex situations, thoughts, and whatnot? Do you think I wouldn't be able to analyze, learn, and truly grasp the principles upon which the human psyche operates? Or that I wouldn't be able to realistically view situations from multiple angles and use that insight to reach valid conclusions that serve me both professionally and personally? Do you seriously believe you can learn all of that just by reading textbooks? And regarding personal inclinations... and the fact that I would always choose to work with individuals struggling with various psychological disorders... look, we aren't going to debate whether we agree or not. My perspective is simply this: if someone possesses the ability or the knowledge regarding how things function, and they have the opportunity to help someone else, why wouldn't they do it? Isn't it a bit selfish to just remain a passive observer? Or is it perhaps a matter of lacking self-confidence? At the end of the day, you learn so much from those people, right? So, what is the actual purpose of the knowledge you've acquired if you don't use it? But hey, at the end of the day, it's a matter of personal choice what you decide to do with your life... so, this is JUST my opinion!
We're certainly trying to follow your logic... but if we're assuming psychology requires some innate gift, wouldn't that apply to just about any other scientific field?
Before talent even enters the equation, there has to be a genuine interest in the subject matter.
You learn the methodologies through textbooks or formal schooling, much like you would in any other academic discipline, except, of course, that your entire research focus—the thing you're applying those methods to—is the human being.
And before anyone can actually step in to help others, someone had to conduct the foundational research to reach those insights that eventually become clinical practice. Then, of course, you have to study the efficacy of those practices to see if the methods actually work, which leads to refining them, and the cycle continues indefinitely. etcetera etcetera. though I suppose wanderingtinker3 could probably phrase all of this more eloquently than I can. 🙂
They say it’s vital—maybe even the most important factor of all—where your arguments are actually coming from.
It’s pretty obvious that a believer is going to lean toward the Pope’s arguments on spiritual matters rather than listening to some atheist, isn't it? Is it better to take dietary advice from some self-proclaimed wellness guru preaching vegetarianism, or should you listen to a hardcore carnivore who considers himself a true gourmet? Does it even matter which one you follow if they're both just selling you a version of reality? When you inject a bit of personal skin in the game—that raw, subjective connection to a topic—everything changes, doesn't it? Suddenly, you aren't just debating abstract ideas; you're navigating the sheer exhaustion of trying to shift someone else's perspective, all while weighing the potential fallout of changing your own mind. You have to ask yourself if the shift in reputation, whether you gain respect for being flexible or lose it by being seen as inconsistent, is actually worth the effort. There are as many ways to get what you want as there are people in this country. It’s all laid out in Robert Frost's *Influence*, if you bother to look.
All I can really do is wish you find that level of peace that actually makes you happy
you have to figure out if you truly want to feel that way about this person. Stress and defensive reactions are totally normal... but maybe this emptiness you're feeling right now is just a sign that you shouldn't be investing any more emotion into them. Sometimes it pays to listen to your gut or those subconscious defense mechanisms kicking in. After all, if this person has already caused you this much stress, who's to say they won't find a million other ways to do it down the road? Or are you absolutely certain they've learned their lesson and won't suddenly flip their priorities on you again later? If you think they have, then just give yourself some breathing room to recover and rebuild enough trust to actually let yourself feel something again. I know it’s frustrating, but you can't force an emotion to happen. Just try to look at this period as a way to recharge your batteries; once you're back to full strength, you'll be ready, whether that's for him or for someone else entirely.
I'm still not quite sure if this applies strictly to how you feel about him, or if it's affecting how you view everyone else in your life too.
Jason Sanchez3 said:I don't see why this shouldn't be in the psychology section; emotions are a core part of what psychology studies...
"What were your feelings like in other relationships, and what were those other relationships like?" I'm not following??
Of course our relationship can't be boiled down to a few lines, and I wasn't looking for relationship advice, but rather advice regarding emotional numbness caused by a traumatic period and extreme stress
IT bothers me because I'm not a psychologist
I never thought your entire relationship could be summarized in a couple of sentences, but I also don't believe anyone can actually give you "advice" based on just a few sentences. I was wondering if you were already in a relationship during that stressful period, and if your feelings back then were the same as they are now during this stressful time—or if you had similar feelings in previous relationships, or dealt with similar levels of stress back then. Just thinking maybe you might find some answers for yourself that way.
Psychology itself is full of theories about how emotions even form; they don't even have a unified definition for emotions to this day, so, much like most other "problems," there isn't exactly a magic recipe
Jason Sanchez3 said:It was probably a bit reckless of me to use the word "identical" without laying out the specifics first.... Basically, I was dealing with a guy who was my absolute dream partner, but he went through this incredibly brutal stretch professionally. He was so shut down that he couldn't even tell if he was capable of loving me or if he even wanted to be with me, yet I stayed right by his side. I poured everything I had into us, giving far more than I actually had the strength to give at the time. We were stuck in this constant limbo, never knowing if he was going to stay here in the States or move away, just riding this endless emotional seesaw. Then, out of nowhere, after all that uncertainty, he decided he finally wanted to commit and try for real. But after a whole year of intense stress, pushing myself to the limit, and losing sight of who I was in the process of managing his sudden shifts, I've just gone numb. I find myself completely closed off, and honestly, I can't tell if I'm even capable of feeling anything for him anymore, or if I even want to.
I suppose it bothers me slightly that this is being treated as a psychology topic. My posts aren't intended to offer any sort of professional psychological insight or support whatsoever.🙂
I’m struggling to grasp the depth of your history together—were you two already established before this "rough patch" hit? What was the nature of your connection and your feelings back then?
And how did those feelings compare to your previous relationships, or what were those other dynamics like?
If your entire relationship has boiled down to just this recent ordeal, I think it might be worth stepping back to look at the big picture before deciding whether it's even worth trying to force those old feelings to resurface.
Jason Sanchez3 said:No, it isn’t confusion; I just don’t feel anything anymore, which I know is a defense mechanism, but I have no idea how to fix it or if it’s even possible to change... It used to happen in waves—when things got heavy, I’d shut down for an hour, maybe two, or sometimes half a day, until eventually it would spiral into something I couldn't control at all; now, it’s been days of total numbness, and honestly, I’m terrified of feeling anything again because...
I went through something pretty similar a long time ago. I’m still with that person, but those feelings—that raw intensity—never really climbed back up to where they used to be, and as for quality, well, that shifts naturally over the years and everything you go through anyway. I’m not sure if "psychology" can actually offer a way out here. Or perhaps it just comes down to whether you decide if this version of life is enough for you, and if you can truly be happy living with this version of yourself—if that makes sense.
Mad Scientist said:Psychology has actually produced quite a bit of research regarding how attractiveness correlates with various outcomes. Generally speaking, in most scenarios, attractive people tend to fare better... they find more success, they're trusted more easily, and they often receive lighter sentences in court. (There are some rare instances where being attractive might actually be a disadvantage... if I can track down those specific studies, I'll write them up...)
they find it easier to land jobs, people assume they're smarter, people perceive them as being "better" overall.
(Of course, this is all based on research where researchers used statistical analysis to grade photos and the traits people assigned to the individuals in those images.)