It took me forever to finally work up the nerve to actually hop on a bike in Chicago—this massive, intimidating, totally unknown beast of a city 🤣 that I’ve already called home for a few years now. But once I did? Well, I haven't touched a car in about two years. I ride through absolutely everything, rain or shine, everywhere I need to go.
My commute is roughly 3.7 miles one way, and I take it pretty easy—no sweating required. It takes me maybe 20 to 30 minutes to get there, and about 15 on the way back, which is perfect since I can basically jump straight into the shower when I walk through the door.
The only catch is that I really want to wear a skirt for work, but I just don't have the confidence to bike like that yet. Heels are fine, but a skirt? Honestly, it feels a bit risky 🤷
Has anyone here actually tried riding in a skirt? Is it even doable, or am I dreaming? I don't have a place to change at the office (and even if I did, I wouldn't want to).
crimsonheron80 said:Do you actually think I can survive thirty damn days feeling like this? 🙂
I don't know, honey—I honestly surprised even myself by how much I actually survived that whole mess. It was brutal, seriously, believe me when I say it was absolute chaos. But look, whatever you need, I’ve got your back. Just hang in there. If you want, shoot me your number in a DM and we can talk. Hang tough, girl—you only have a few more days to go. 🙂
Donna Newman24 said:Well, sponges have been extinct for ages... which is exactly why Elaine had to take a hard look at who was actually "spongeworthy" 😉
I did some digging on Google 😁 And apparently, the sponge falls under the category of spermicidal agents—plus, it lowers the risk of infections.
Hmm, maybe a combination of Vagisil and spermicidal cream would actually work?
Look, since you can't exactly reach around and tickle yourself—which would be pretty weird anyway—you can actually stop someone else from doing it by just pinning their hand down. Just put your hand right over theirs while they're at it. Give it a shot, seriously—it actually works. 😉
Grace Walker13 said:Look, if you're really that sensitive to condoms, I’d honestly suggest just using a diaphragm combined with the withdrawal method. 😁
But then again—that's probably not a great move for anyone prone to infections. 😢
Great topic—honestly, I’m right there with you on this one. 😢
Is it actually true that there’s nothing else out there besides: pills or patches—yeah, great, just what I need, messing with my veins, cellulite, and whatever other "perks" they claim to offer. condoms—way too expensive, they break, they chafe, they sting, and let's be real, they’re never around exactly when you actually need them... ugh. 👎 an IUD—absolutely not happening for me. 🤷 diaphragms—where do you even get those? how do you even use them? what’s the damage to the wallet? vaginal rings—first time I'm hearing about those, might give it a shot, but what are the supposed "benefits"? Do you use a new one every single time, or does one last for a few days or something? the sponge—like that thing from Seinfeld, does that even exist in real life? 😁
What else is left? Is there anything else at all? Aside from old wives' tales and rubbing it on your stomach?
I always make sure to see a woman. Honestly, I’d much rather deal with an angry woman than some aggressive guy any day of the week. I grew up dealing with women everywhere—in doctor's offices, at service counters, in schools... basically, I've been surrounded by witches since preschool. And if some random man raises his voice or acts rude? I’m instantly on the verge of tears.
I'm just scared of them, let's be real—they're bigger and stronger.😢
Like, back when I went in for a chest X-ray, this male radiologist actually barked at me, "Take that bra off, what do you think you're doing?? You're driving me crazy..." and there I was, stripping off my bra and crying right then and there.😢 (I had no idea I even had to take it off—it was my first time going alone—and look, it's not like it's easy being sixteen and having to expose yourself to a stranger.) If it had been a woman, the whole vibe would have been completely different.🤷
I don't know if it's just me, but when I'm feeling that vulnerable and exposed, the last thing I need is some potentially pissed-off guy hovering over me.
Plus, I've heard enough horror stories from my girlfriends about their gynecologists to last a lifetime. Don't get me wrong, I don't have a massive prejudice—at the end of the day, they're all just people—but just to be safe, I stick to women. It's comfortable about 95% of the time.
Which, frankly, is still better than how I feel during a big exam, at the dentist, or sitting in a stylist's chair.
For these first two days, I am literally dying—and there aren’t enough words in the English language to actually describe it. It's just... nauseating. 😢 I collapse into bed, tossing and turning, groaning, sweating, babbling, screaming, crying, moaning—it's a whole thing. My vision goes black for minutes at a time; I can't even see the outlines of light, just pure darkness. (I haven't ever fully passed out, but it was once incredibly nasty when I felt the world go dark while I was right up front at church—I barely managed to stumble out and explain to people that I desperately needed to get outside.) I’m shaking all over, and honestly, in moments like this, I just want to die. If someone left me alone in a room with a handgun on day one of my period without any medication, I don't even want to think about what would happen to me. I can barely stretch a single box of Advil to last through two cycles. I am completely incapable of doing anything for those two days. I can't even focus on a movie, I can't read, and I have to practically force myself to swallow food or tea (though chamomile helps a bit). And the meds? They all feel exactly the same—from Voltaren to Advil. The pain never actually stops, it just settles down to a "normal" level—meaning I can finally stop sobbing and maybe watch a movie or hold a conversation with another human being.
Things were definitely better when I was on the pill, but even then, it was still pretty brutal.
The weirdest part is that every other month is like this. Today's cycle is actually arriving almost pain-free, but I am already dreading the one waiting for me in 29 days. Brrr. 😢😲👎
Nicole Allen73 said:Try explaining to your friend that seeing a gynecologist is basically just like going to the dentist—except if you skip the OB-GYN, the consequences are way, way worse.
🤣 🤣
Imagine if someone started a thread titled "My friend has a sore lower left molar, what could it be? What should she do?"
😂😂
Oh, I'll bet my bottom dollar it's a fungal infection—my first recommendation would be switching to cotton underwear and skirts (and honestly, maybe skipping the underwear altogether while she's hanging out at home).
Otherwise, just grab him a watch, a good book, a Zippo, or some cool clothes—for him, or even for you, who knows 😉 Maybe he's into extreme sports, so get him gear for that, or just general athletic stuff. Or maybe something for his car, a skydiving or scuba diving course, a lava lamp, a keychain, a travel pillow, cologne, a carnivorous plant, a framed photo of you two, a weekend getaway to a different city, a schoolgirl outfit (hey, don't judge), a wallet, a belt, or socks—because you can honestly never have too many pairs of socks. Or a jersey from his favorite team, a band tee, or some tech gear like a mouse, speakers, a USB drive, or a webcam (he probably owns all that, but something might have finally died on him lately).... If you want to go really wild, you can actually buy him a star or a piece of the moon right here: http://www.moonestates.com/basket.php (that's probably what I'm doing for my guy) Honestly, I have no clue what to get him 😢 Man, shopping for women is so much easier.
Roger Wilson7 said:Look, if you think this only happens to old ladies, you're full of it. They get targeted because they're easy marks who can't fight back. And honestly, I haven't heard a single story where a rapist ended up in the ER because the victim fought him off with nails or teeth. Most people are just praying at that point rather than throwing hands. If some guy even tried that with me, he’d be catching a boot to the groin before he knew what hit him. And while we're at it, maybe you can explain why fat women aren't exactly the primary targets here either.
Wow, you really went off the deep end with those theories.🙄 People get assaulted regardless of their weight, age, or anything else—the motives behind it are all over the map. And let me tell you, if someone decides to target you, don't go thinking you're untouchable just because you might try to land a kick—unless, of course, you happen to have a black belt or something. I actually had an encounter with a guy suffering from schizophrenia once; he came up behind me, grabbed me by the waist, and started dragging me toward his house. I can't even begin to describe how terrifying that was or how helpless I felt. In my head, I was thinking, "I'll hit him with my foot, my fist, my keys, my purse"—but in reality, in that exact moment, all you can do is scream. I don't know what was going through his mind, but he was clearly unwell and completely obsessed with me—he thought I belonged to him, even though I never gave him any reason to think that. I was incredibly lucky that four guys passing by in a car saw what was happening and managed to pull me away. It's nothing like the sanitized version you see in movies.
Rachel Reyes4 said:I’m really sorry if this topic already exists somewhere else; please feel free to move it if that’s necessary.
I honestly don't even know how to start this thread, so I’ll just say it plainly: I am a survivor of sexual abuse involving minors. Back when I was in preschool, my nephew and niece, who were a few years older than me at the time, used to abuse me through what they called "games." Because I was so young and naive, I just went along with it, having absolutely no idea what was actually happening. It wasn't sexual intercourse in the adult sense, but we would strip naked, and they would touch my private areas and each other. My nephew would even press himself against me. This happened every single time we went over to their house for a visit. At first, I hated it, but eventually, it started feeling totally normal—just another part of the game—and later on, I even found it fun. I can't even remember when it finally stopped, mostly because I pushed the whole thing so deep down inside myself. To this day, I have a wonderful relationship with my nephew; in fact, we’re closer than most relatives. But none of this ever happened again, and we’ve never once spoken about it. However, the consequences stayed with me. When I’m having sex now, I struggle to truly relax, and when it comes to reaching an orgasm, I can only achieve it through masturbation.
What actually prompted me to open this discussion are some recent events that have stirred up these memories, and even after all these years, they still sting and won't leave me alone.
You see, that same nephew of mine has a little girl who is preschool-aged, and my niece has a ten-year-old son. He recently caught them in a room touching each other... and of course, he completely lost it. Somehow, things were smoothed over with the excuse of, "Oh, just let it go, it's just kids being kids"?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
On top of that, a friend of mine mentioned during a casual conversation the other night how some older girls in her neighborhood used to touch her, which is how she learned to masturbate. She added that while it was definitely sexual abuse, since it happened when they were kids, she doesn't have any blocks in her sex life—in fact, she’s actually quite promiscuous.
After hearing all of this, I realized that I’m definitely not the only one who went through something like this. So, I wanted to ask you all:... 1. Has anything like this happened to any of you? 2. Do you consider these incidents to be just "childish behavior"? 3. Why is this still such a taboo subject when it's so obvious that many children experience sexual encounters long before they even hit puberty? 4. How on earth do you protect your own child from something like this?!?!?!?!?! 5. Am I crazy for feeling so much shame about this and keeping it to myself, while my friend talks about it without a hint of embarrassment, as if it were the most natural thing in the world? 6. And finally, should I have an open conversation with my nephew about this, or should I just leave it where it has always been... buried deep within my soul?
Something similar happened to me—it was happening from about 6th through 8th grade—and the jerk was actually a year younger than me.😠 I don't consider it "childish" at all; there's a huge difference between a girl who is playing along and giggling—you know, the whole "oh stop it, you're crazy!" routine— and a child who is firmly saying "no," crying, screaming, and trying everything to get away from that person. It stays a taboo because if you bring it up, anyone who hasn't dealt with it will just tell you that you're overreacting and that it wasn't a big deal, so people just shut up. You have to teach a child to "report" anything that makes them feel uncomfortable. You have to explain which touches are okay and which ones are absolutely not. The reason your friend isn't bothered is likely because her experience wasn't the same as yours; maybe the physical contact was similar, but she wasn't actually coerced and didn't feel violated. And honestly? I'm ashamed of it too, and it makes me angry.😠 I'm pretty sure that's the root cause of my social anxiety—I used to be terrified of even leaving the house because he was always out there somewhere. Every single time I walk out my front door and step into the world, I get that same stupid, sinking feeling of being a helpless victim. The absolute worst part was that other kids watched it happen and laughed at my tears; middle school was a literal living hell for me. I spent the whole time just hoping for the end, and frankly, that's way too much weight for a child to carry. If you think it might help, go ahead and face it with your niece. Depending on how she reacts, it could actually be useful.
Keith Jones76 said:It’s funny how everyone agrees during a discussion, but the second it’s time to actually step up and do something, it turns out most people wanted the exact opposite! When someone finally points out a problem and offers a way to fix it, everybody just stands around waiting for someone else to take the lead. It’s much easier to just point fingers at Washington or global politics than to actually lift a finger.
Spot on. It's all about passing the buck—the deeper we sink into this mess, the less anyone feels responsible for their own part in it.
From where I’m sitting, the entire country—maybe even the whole damn world—is circling the drain. I pick up a newspaper and see some celebrity scandal, turn on the TV and it's some nanny drama, check the news and a kid has died, flip on the radio and it's kids beating up other kids...
Nobody talks about anything positive because, honestly, it just doesn't sell. We're all just competing to see who can outdo the other with the most absolute garbage stories. We're basically letting them brainwash us on a daily basis. And look, it's not just an American thing. That guy who invented wireless energy transfer was probably thrilled that he managed to knock Paris Hilton off the front page for a few days😢 just because the headlines were obsessed with whether or not she was wearing underwear.😕👎😢😠
And this is what we dedicate our precious attention to.😕
How are we ever supposed to actually improve our lives or stand up for ourselves when our biggest concerns are which celebrity went to rehab or who needs more Botox? Instead, we just sit here wallowing in other people's misery and mocking anyone who actually tries to do something good—it's pathetic, really. It feels like we choose our politicians based on a simple logic: "This guy is the biggest piece of trash I've seen, so I'll spend all my time complaining about him, so I guess he wins." The corruption goes straight to the heavens. We are total masochists. God, it's exhausting.😢
Chris Cooper5 said:I don't know, maybe it's just me, but even at college everyone kind of just ignores me. Sometimes when I actually try to say something, people start laughing or they just mock me behind my back. It’s weird. Everyone seems to have these little groups and hangs out constantly, while I’m always just... standing there by myself. I used to talk to this one girl, but she ended up dropping out. Now it feels like everyone is part of this tight-knit crew and they're all tight with each other, except for me.
So, tell me—do you spend your lectures talking to yourself just like you do here on the forums? People don't really know you yet, and maybe they just aren't used to your specific sense of humor or how you carry yourself... It definitely sucks when they laugh at you, but honestly, take a second to look back—how did this whole dynamic even start? Try laughing along with them instead. Don't give them the satisfaction of making you a target; turn it into a shared joke so they're laughing *with* you rather than at you. As for the gossip? Honestly, look at it this way: if you weren't worth mentioning, they wouldn't bother talking about you at all. And let's be real—as long as there are people around, there's going to be drama and gossip. That's just life.