Posts by Thomas Hernandez4

Nov 3. Topic of the day: How often do you actually hang out?

Do you get out much? Are you someone who hits up big groups, or do you prefer keeping things low-key with just a few people?
Try to put some actual numbers to it—how many people are you realistically seeing on a monthly basis?

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This thread was pulled from the 62nd post within the topic of the day.

I’ll admit I messed up. I should have listened to my gut and just deleted those posts right at the start.
Too naive, I guess.

If you guys want to argue about this, and since it clearly seems people care, here are the links to the threads in the PDFs covering the whole thing:

Why does it have to be such a long stretch? 🕺
Can we just do a quick month instead?
If you’re still looking for an out by then, we can figure it out later.

You knew exactly what you were doing and kept going right along with those other two banned users.
I don't see any issue with how the cooling period was handled; I fully support the Latin decision.
There's no point in discussing this further.

Looking at the last 50 posts in the search results, 16 have been deleted—either by me or by latica—due to various off-topic nonsense.

You took your first ban right along with pantera after you two basically hijacked the entire thread.
Instead of getting buried under a mountain of off-topic warnings, you just got a one-day ban, same as him.

Once the ban expired, you showed up with this post, which I decided to just delete, thinking you’d finally take the hint. But fine, I'll let it slide this once since you literally just got back from being banned:

Hey everyone, I'm back! 🎉 Just wanted to wish you all a great day (while I'm actually still here 😬),

I am absolutely thrilled to wander through this new, modern forum layout, stripped of all the chatting and spam, and instead enriched exclusively by meaningful posts that actually make sense. 🎉
If that were actually true, anyone could see it just by browsing the current topics. I welcome this initiative that went into effect yesterday.

I also want to apologize for yesterday's online chat between pantera and me, and for strictly forbidding you all from joining in. I believe it was more of a system issue than our strict Prohibition. It's common knowledge that the forum gets hit with massive traffic around 1 AM, and people literally swarm the threads. So, I believe the system simply crashed due to the surge, which is why you couldn't join. Basically, the reason was a sudden influx of users causing a system crash at 1 AM.

Since I'm feeling generous today, I'll give a special shout-out to the biased, hypocritical crowd and their counterparts—the sycophantic, suck-up types.

Looking forward to this new era of forum posting! 🎉

After that, you moved on to this other thread, which latica also deleted, giving you a second chance to stop the behavior:

I don't think anyone can fault you for the way posts are flying in 🤷

I really admire such an objective and totally unbiased assessment of "flying posts" and chaos, based mostly on "I woke up in a bad mood so I'll just let it slide tonight." How sweet 🔝

Bravo, keep it up 🎉

Then, on the next thread, you wrote:

ruggedmaker32 said:Hmmmm, what year was that again 🤔?

Actually :idea: 02/22/2022, but instead of reading meaningful posts that actually make sense, I'm stuck reading online chats and spam 🤷

Neroli said:Hey ruggedmaker32, what exactly are you reading lately? 🤔

Neroli basically called you out for not staying on topic, which got the discussion back on track, so we just let it slide without jumping in immediately.

And your little tantrum ends right here with a warning, since you decided to go at it again:

What, abuse moderator tools?? No way, definitely not 🥳 ...why would we? 🤔 Every single post actually makes sense and stays relevant to the subject, how could it be any better? :ch eer:

I don't think I need to argue this point anymore.
We've been warning people for a while now that threads are getting too cluttered.
Depending on how much off-topic junk there is, we either delete the thread or, if it's just a few posts, we ask everyone to get back to the main point before taking actual action.
Sometimes off-topic stuff hangs around for a bit before we notice, because believe it or not, we aren't sitting here monitoring this 24/7.

Yeah, moderation in the US is lenient. No, you aren't going to get a strike for every little thing.
But you will get one for acting out like this and then talking trash about the mods when you won't stop.
The luck of the draw was that Ashley Vaughn79 handed out both warnings since she's the one active on the forum right now.
But I stand by what was done. Honestly, I think you got off easy.

Nicholas King said:But what’s actually the upside to hugging complete strangers?

Honestly, those "free hugs" signs should just be banned altogether. Or, if we’re going to be completely consistent about it—and I mean really consistent—we might as well just permit and encourage people to offer free sex in the middle of city squares and public streets.

Okay, not exactly "strangers." I didn't mean I’d be wandering down Broadway hugging random people.
I was thinking more about hugs from a partner, a friend, or family—those are all good hugs.
Don't worry, I'm not out there attacking people on the sidewalk.😁

But honestly, if someone were holding up a "free hugs" sign? Yeah, I'd probably dive right in.😁

William Richardson12 said:Serial whatever 😈

Get ready for some hugging tomorrow ☕

Regarding the topic, looks like I don't hug nearly enough. Not surprising, honestly—I live alone, and hugging random people on the street isn't really happening at this hour 🤔
I’d say any hug, regardless of how you categorize them, is a good hug 😁

Please, just remember what the topic actually is.

🙂

Jan 21st - international hug day

Here is an interesting article about hugging:
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Psychologists suggest that getting five or six hugs a day can actually make your life longer and better. This idea was championed back in 1982 by American priest Kevin Zaborney, who designated this day as international hug day.
The healing power of a hug isn't just talk, either. Psychotherapist Virginia Satir famously claimed that humans need at least four hugs a day just to survive.
She went on to say we need eight hugs daily to maintain ourselves, and twelve to truly thrive. Even world-renowned psychologist Jack Canfield includes hugging in his theories, noting it's healthy, completely natural, and practically perfect.
The breakdown is:
• 4 hugs to survive
• 8 hugs to maintain
• 12 hugs to thrive.

Types of hugs:

The Bear Hug - One arm goes over the shoulder and the other around the waist, with both people reciprocating the same way. You make eye contact. It’s a firm hug, but not suffocating. In a romantic context, the guy might even lift the girl off the ground. Message: “You’re awesome!” or “I’ve got your back.”

The "A" Hug - Bodies lean toward each other, using both arms—one over the shoulder and one near the armpit—with faces pressed close so both people look in the same direction. In some parts of the world (not really common here in the US), this quick hug serves as a standard greeting.

The "I Want You Big Time" Hug - Two people wrap their arms tightly around each other—man holds the woman's waist while she wraps her arms around his neck. Torsos touch, legs intertwine, and feet brush.

The Patting Hug - A two-armed hug where you pat the other person with one hand. It basically means: “I like you, but this is strictly platonic.”

The One-Armed Hug - A quick side-hug using just the right arm. Typical among men when the message is: “We're buddies, but we aren't that close.”

The No-Chest Hug - Contact is limited to hands and shoulders, with nothing below that level. The rest of the bodies stay about 1.5 to 2 feet apart. Common among women meeting female colleagues they are friendly with but aren't particularly close to.

The Cheek Hug - A gentle hug, standing or sitting, where cheeks prominently touch while a hand rests on the side of the face. Meaning: “I’m sorry you’re feeling down.”

The Housework Hug - Approaching someone from behind while they are busy with chores and wrapping both arms around their waist, crossing your own arms.
The "Guess Who" Hug - Approaching from behind and gently covering the person's eyes with both hands, pressing your chest against their back.

The Forehead Hug - Hands go on the other person's shoulders, and foreheads are rested against each other.

The "Heart" Hug - Each person reaches around the other with one arm under the armpit and the other over the shoulder, resting fingers on the back of the neck.

The Side Hug - Two people standing side-by-side, each using one arm. Good for passing the time while waiting in line.

The "Top of Head" Hug - A standing person hugs a seated person with both arms, enveloping their head or neck, with one side of the face touching the back of the head. Supposedly good for fighting depression.
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How often do you hug, and which style do you use most? 🍿

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Theme pulled after 109th post from Today's topics.

Mančin, if you don't get access, your thread is still right here. 🙂

wiredgardener63 said:Look, romance isn't dead—it’s just that everyone’s got their own weird way of looking at it! Some people treat it like a PR stunt, others think it’s all about dropping cash on flashy, over-the-top stuff, but honestly? I’m all about those tiny, quiet little proofs of love. All that grandstanding and public displays of affection... man, that just makes me cringe. Give me the real stuff any day! Like, snuggling under a cozy blanket while watching a movie we both actually love—and yeah, warming up my cold feet against his—that’s the good stuff. Or waking up to the smell of freshly brewed coffee, or coming home from a long shift at work to find a hot meal waiting for you. Even just whispering something spicy in his ear or giving him a huge hug when he’s having a rough day... that counts! Or grabbing a random little thing at Target because it totally reminded me of him? That’s it right there. It’s about putting in the effort to see the person you actually chose every single day instead of just taking them for granted. To me, that’s what true romance is—it’s basically just investing in a healthy relationship.

I wouldn't say I'm all about the tiny details either; I'm actually more into the big gestures.
Just those little spontaneous moments of attention here and there 🙂

Dec 20th. Is romance officially dead?

The other day, Aljehin asked me on the chat what romance actually means to me. I’ll admit, I had to pause and really think before I could give an answer.
How do you all define romance? And when was the last time you actually did something romantic—or better yet, experienced it?

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This topic was pulled from the 146th post of the topic of the day.

jadepilot3 said:I have my fair never own little secrets I won't bother posting here because, frankly, the embarrassment would be too much to handle.

In general, I wouldn't say there were many of them, but it’s a safe bet that whenever I tried to claim "never," some life catastrophe would pop out from around the corner just to prove me wrong. So, I stopped making those kinds of promises.

I think when you're younger, you view life through this rigid black-and-white lens. But as you age and start making your own mess of things, you realize nothing is actually binary. People and circumstances exist in shades of gray. Embracing that helps you find some self-forgiveness when things get ugly, and honestly, it makes it easier to deal with the people around you.

It feels like you become more tolerant as the years pile up, though I suppose that doesn't apply to everyone..

Let’s be honest—some of those things are never easy to admit, even to yourself, let alone broadcast to the entire country.

Yeah, I’d say that as time goes on, those black-and-white categories we force on ourselves when we're kids trying to make sense of the world eventually start to blur. I try to stay away from that kind of rigid thinking now. Like you said, life is always just waiting around the corner to prove you wrong.

Charles Young56 said:Yeah, I mean, how much control do we actually have over our own lives? Not nearly as much as we think, because you just never know what’s going to flip the script on you at any given moment.

"Never say never" is one of those clichés that actually makes sense here.

I used to sit around thinking that certain bad things could never happen to me, you know? Like, that was just impossible. But life... man, life really showed me its darker, more brutal side, and made it pretty clear that it's the one calling the shots, not me. 😉

As for anything else, nah. 🙂

Yeah, unexpected situations are the ones where you don't actually know what you're capable of until you're forced to deal with them. You only find out when there's no other choice.

Brian Taylor2 said:My categorical "never" came back to haunt me with a heavy dose of irony.
I have come to realize that saying "never" is actually just an invitation for fate to slap you in the face.

To be fair, later in life, destiny responded to one of my "nevers" by showering me with incredible love and happiness.

Perhaps fate felt a bit sorry for me after I endured the consequences of that first "never." 🤣

Disclaimer: I don't believe in fate; I believe in the Quote from Terminator 2: Judgment Day: "There is no fate but what we make for ourselves."
(Shut up, there are no Terminator sequels!!!)

Glad to see the universe finally balanced itself out for you. 🙂

Nov 22 - Never say never

What about those "never" promises you made when you were younger, only to have life prove you wrong?
I see it all the time on here—people swearing they'd never do this, never accept that, or never end up in certain situations.
As the years go by, I've noticed a lot of those once-solid "nevers" just get crushed by reality.
Lately, I've stopped using that word myself. Life is too unpredictable. Honestly, I wouldn't bet a dime on my own future certainty. 🙂
Where do you guys stand on this?

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This topic of the day was featured after 19 posts and pulled from topic of the day.

Exactly.
🙂

And this is how it all went down:

Chris Chase5 said:Honestly, I wanted to weigh in on this. I haven't checked the classifieds in at least ten years, and I wouldn't have shown up if the last ad wasn't from a machinist. :D

The girl has to be delusional... if what she says is true, her family is wealthy, she's young, looks good, and specifically wants a German guy—it’s not like those types are hanging out on an American forum.

And here we go again with the "tunnels of passion"... :-)

Chris Chase5 said:Just reach out to her. :s:s:s

It's an incredible offer. But then she insists the "tunnels" have to be in a specific part of Germany :D maybe she means an MRI—that would certainly be some magnetic passion... :D

Chris Chase5 said:I missed the part about the days. :D The whole "tunnels of passion" thing caught me off guard, especially given the Paris connection. And the ghost stuff too. She's probably hallucinating quite a bit... personally, I always take human problems as a literal description of reality.

Chris Chase5 said:And nobody is kicking the machinist out of the leadership on the boards... :D:D:D

Chris Chase5 said:She's looking for a grown German man with equivalent income and manners, offering "tunnels of passion" on an American forum? Maybe it's not a bad idea to look on Slovakian or Canadian sites. Or Polish? Better yet, Russian.

Just not German. By the way, from what I can tell, she'd take sex, parallel... because sex is sex—that was her point.

This is just a teenager trolling.

Chris Chase5 said:You have to admit, this guy’s posting history doesn't exactly show a steady direction. No logic, no romance, no sex—just chaos.

It’s just one thing after another... sex happening in Paris... starting a thread... grabbing whatever he can get... half advice, half trolling. Then he closes the thread and starts posting ads for passion tunnels... over in Germany... on an American forum :D giving tips on how to hook up.

Sorry, but there is seriously something wrong with this person. Germany has way more variety when it comes to forums, including some incredibly intense, sexually charged ones... where you find tunnel after tunnel.

The posts Ashley Vaughn79 listed just kept coming.

To me, this looks like a massive amount of mocking—which you admitted to—and digging through someone's past to the point where you're pulling posts from entirely different threads.
Anyone who sees the ad has the same access you do; they can see every topic the author previously started and everything they wrote.
Three different people already pointed out that this behavior isn't okay.
Then the moderator steps in, says it's not okay, and asks everyone to stop, explaining exactly why.

But you just keep going, completely ignoring her.
I agree with Ashley Vaughn79's decision.

I did the exact same thing yesterday with those off-topic posts in the astrology section—stuff about Nicole, cellulite, and all that—which basically sparked this whole debate in the chat room this morning.
I don't see how it caused any confusion; you can clearly tell who's talking to whom and what the argument is about. I just caught up on everything in the chat after the fact, once it had already been moved over, so I had no clue the conversation had actually started somewhere else.🙂

And I definitely need some romance for my summer vacation. Greetings from the beach 👋

Huh. Nothing compares to a grandma's homemade dough, made by hand. 👋

I’m all about simple pizzas. I once had one of the best slices of my life at a spot in Pula, but the last one I grabbed from a local joint in my neighborhood was garbage. First and last time. 🙂

Larry Walker24 said:Don't forget to unban me by Saturday :)

It's written right there in black and white. It'll get done.