Posts by Charles Young56

So, about online dating...

Thomas Hernandez4 said:Dec 20th. Is romance officially dead?

The other day, Aljehin asked me on the chat what romance actually means to me. I’ll admit, I had to pause and really think before I could give an answer.
How do you all define romance? And when was the last time you actually did something romantic—or better yet, experienced it?

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This topic was pulled from the 146th post of the topic of the day.

Maybe, maybe not.

The way life moves so fast these days, plus all this tech, I guess it’s kind of killed the vibe of romance.
Everyone’s just in such a rush for everything.

What is romance to me?
I'll write that later, I guess. 😉

So, I guess... has anything actually changed? Like, did the whole situation shift at all? Or maybe the feelings about it? Did they change?

Karen Cook7 said:I'm reading through this thread—probably just because it was the first one I saw. I’m not really part of this crowd, and I doubt I’ll even bother replying to anything else here.😁

Richard Rodriguez17, what is actually wrong with you? You're an ego-driven mess. Honestly, the last person on Earth who could stand you is probably your own mother, and you've driven her right to the edge.

Seriously, you cursed God right in front of her and she spent two hours in tears.
She doesn't care about you, or any future daughter-in-law, or even God at this point—she's clearly just exhausted dealing with all of you.
Just catering to your little tantrums.
On top of that, you're so full of yourself, thinking the entire world should be revolving around you.

Looking at how much you complain, it seems like you blame everyone else for your own flaws—medication, a niece, your dad, your brother... you could go on forever.

Maybe try working on your self-esteem a bit. It shouldn't involve taking your frustrations out on your family like this.

...and yourself.

👍 👍

But hey, let’s not jump the gun and start judging her family just yet. 🧐
There’s a whole lot of nuance involved here, I guess, and maybe... 😉

What's actually going on that you aren't on good terms with your dad?

And how old are you anyway?

She actually started crying
It’s such a textbook move, honestly—trying to throw you off balance with all that emotion just so she can play the victim.
Don't let her get to you!
You didn't do anything wrong; you were just making it clear that she needs to listen to you, which is pretty much what should happen.

Later on, I went into her room to ask if she was still mad, and she just hit me with: "I did everything I possibly could, so this is just karma coming back to me." Am I actually a piece of trash here, or is she just piling guilt on me for no reason?

More guilt-tripping.
Dont give a fuck about that. 🙂
You aren't a bad person. She's just trying to make you feel guilty; you said what you needed to say. 🙂

And stop apologizing. You have to teach them that they need to listen when you speak up. For the sake of your own self-respect, just don't do it. 🙂

Cursing at God isn't some kind of mortal sin. 🙂

Fast forward a couple of days—I was eating a bit more than usual because of PMS, and every single time I reached for food or mentioned being hungry, she’d snap that I’d already eaten enough and that I’d gotten Fatty. I told her I had way bigger things to worry about right now than my weight, and she just laughed in my face.

Then, a few times, she'll call me "FAT" under the guise of a "joke." She does this stuff a lot; I actually looked it up online.

The bottom line here is that she is the actual problem, not YOU. 🙂

From what I can gather—and I'm just guessing here—she’s acting like the martyr while basically steamrolling you with her temper tantrums...

The thing is, I'm just so incredibly emotionally attached to her.

Cut those ties.
If you're an adult, if you can, try to find a job somewhere far away from the family and get some independence. That’s my honest advice. 🙂

And finally.
Just try to live without letting all these heavy emotions in, and maybe life will be a little easier. 🙂

That feeling of being worth nothing. Like, you think that once you strip away all those empty, grandiose achievements, there’s just nothing left of value underneath.
Exactly. 🙂

And I guess... maybe just look back at everything you actually managed to pull off while you were feeling that way. From where you're standing now, looking back at that headspace, does what you did actually seem as trivial as you thought? Is it really as unimportant as you're telling yourself?

ironrider11 said:Yeah, other people's eyes are just mirrors... not their souls. Maybe they're just mirrors for whatever the observer is projecting onto them (usually something sexual)...

No, like I said, I'm not fantasizing. 🙂
I'm just noticing things.

I'm curious about that too, I guess.
There’s this one girl who keeps looking my way, but it's like she has this specific "look" that says something... no, I don't want to get ahead of myself or start daydreaming, I'm just noticing things.

Is it actually possible for a back injury, like a spinal fracture, to be linked to vision issues?
I mean, could that be why I'm having trouble seeing things lately?

Just looking for someone to chat with.
Doesn't really matter who you are or what gender you identify as. 🙂

Yeah, I mean, how much control do we actually have over our own lives? Not nearly as much as we think, because you just never know what’s going to flip the script on you at any given moment.

"Never say never" is one of those clichés that actually makes sense here.

I used to sit around thinking that certain bad things could never happen to me, you know? Like, that was just impossible. But life... man, life really showed me its darker, more brutal side, and made it pretty clear that it's the one calling the shots, not me. 😉

As for anything else, nah. 🙂

Maybe something with an apocalyptic vibe... sort of like The Wrath of Man?

Anyone got any suggestions?

I honestly just love sitting there with a cup of coffee by myself. 😁

Just reading the news, messing around on my phone, people watching... or maybe I'll run into someone I know and we'll swap a few words or whatever.

Anyone down to chat?

I can talk about pretty much anything, I guess. 👍

ruggedhawk20 said:You're living the dream.

Don't change a thing—maybe swap girlfriends if you get bored.

The rest of it sounds perfectly balanced to me.

Chasing money and titles is a one-way ticket to a miserable life.

👍

You're totally fine, seriously.
I’m actually pretty much the same way when it comes to going out, trying to stand out, and all that stuff you mentioned.
You're smart—you save money, or rather, you aren't just throwing it away left and right, and honestly, that's perfectly okay.

Let me tell you one thing:
Everything is fine, as long as you were happy with how you were acting. I mean, why even worry about what everyone else thinks? With the way social norms work these days, nobody can actually live up to them perfectly, and frankly, screw those norms anyway. Nobody is ever considered "normal" by them...

And I really like that last part where you said you read a lot of books.
Keep reading, and who knows, maybe one day that hobby turns into you becoming a writer...

I mean, Sam should really just be his own best friend, I guess.

Sarah Ross21 said:I used to practice this when I was younger, and it actually worked. Even when logic told me otherwise, it held up. 🙂

Lately, I’ve been feeling a bit burnt out, and honestly, being surrounded by such negative people doesn't help. I'm trying to refocus and boost my own energy lately. Just stay positive and things shift. 🙂

I realized I was dealing with some serious learned helplessness, so I made it my mission to break out of that cycle. I'll let you know if I actually pull it off! 🙂

If you want proof of how much mindset matters, look at me. Not long ago, I was stuck in this total lethargy—just zero motivation to move. I started running through some affirmations, and ten minutes later, I was off the couch, tackled a mountain of dishes, cleaned the entire apartment, and wondered why I was ever feeling so useless in the first place. 🙂 Bottom line: it works, as long as you're persistent and don't waste time lying to yourself about things that are clearly impossible.

The biggest win for me was when I used affirmations regarding my style and appearance. Back then, I didn't have the budget for a designer wardrobe, so I just decided to manifest a better look using exactly what I already owned. A few days later, a friend stops by and tells me, "Wow, you've really leveled up your style lately!" 🙂 Meanwhile, I was wearing the same green T-shirt I'd worn a dozen times before. That's when it hit me—it's all about the energy. Nothing else.

👍👍🙂🎉