Spanking and physical discipline: what are your thoughts?

The psychological devastation of being torn down is far more excruciating than any physical wound; the latter eventually heals, while the former lingers indefinitely.

Carl Bishop2 said:And what about the police response?
Or filing a follow-up report?
How is it even possible for a woman to admit she’s beating a child and have absolutely no one take action to protect that kid?

It wasn't "faking" anything. It’s not just that they didn't lift a finger; it’s that they just walked away after a little chat.

Carl Bishop2 said:And what about the police response?
Or filing a follow-up report?
How is it even possible for a woman to admit she’s beating a child and have absolutely no one take action to protect that kid?

Because we live in a total mess of a country—in the USA, specifically—where social workers basically turn a blind eye because they operate under the flawed logic that kids are better off with parents like that than in state care, especially since the foster system is already slammed and they save their resources for the absolute worst-case scenarios.

The kid doesn't mean much to me anymore; the mother was crying for the first time, rambling about how she "lost control" and "it won't happen again." It’s all a heavy situation, honestly. I try to protect them through whatever success I can manage, if I can manage anything at all.

Kenneth Barnes4 said:🤣🤣🤣

I was asking if you think that's a normal reaction to being hit "a little," because obviously it isn't. I'm not talking about abuse here. Read the thread and what I'm actually saying, then comment once you realize what the point is.

ROFL? Seriously? 😁

I didn't take that as a question; I took it as an implication that this kid is running around the classroom specifically because of that. I have no idea how you connected those dots. Physical punishment is physical punishment, whether we're talking about a light swat or something much more severe. And they started off by saying it was just "a little swat."

Don't you think that if a situation can be settled with "a little swat," then it could just as easily be resolved through a conversation, making that swat entirely unnecessary in the first place?

I guess this whole thread is honestly just kind of hilarious when you take into account the upbringing aspect mentioned in that very first post!
I guess I'm just wondering what the actual point is here? Is it supposed to be about letting a kid get hit just so they can learn a hard lesson about, I don't know, getting into a car with a stranger or whatever else might happen? Maybe it's meant to show how bad things turn out when you don't teach them early, but I suppose I'm just a bit confused about the whole logic behind it!
I guess if that’s really how everything ends up and that's the core parenting philosophy being used, then it seems just as misguided as trying to teach kids how to avoid doing evil based strictly on Christian doctrine, maybe?
I guess I feel like if the main lesson a kid walks away with is "don't talk to strangers just so you don't get hit," then we haven't really taught them much at all, you know? To me, the whole point is that you don't go off with a stranger because it’s fundamentally the wrong thing to do, not simply because you're afraid of getting hurt. It reminds me a bit of how people view faith sometimes; I mean, you shouldn't do something bad just because you're scared of facing eternal suffering in hell, though I suppose some might argue there's always that chance of slipping back onto the wrong path even after seeking forgiveness! 😁 I don't want to go too far down the rabbit hole of how illogical or even harmful certain religious teachings can be, because I really don't want to get carried away there, but I guess the real issue we should probably focus on is just how illogical and truly damaging it is to hit children.

I guess the absolute silliest argument that keeps popping up around here is this idea that if you aren't being physically aggressive with kids, then you're basically just being way too soft and letting them get away with everything! 😲 I honestly can't help but wonder where all this nonsense actually comes from! I mean, has anyone here ever truly witnessed an actual child existing, maybe even just watching a movie or something? It feels like we should probably just try to shake off these crazy, black-and-white delusions, you know? And I don't just mean when it comes to parenting, but more like for everything in life, really.
I honestly feel like neither being totally permissive nor resorting to physical "discipline" actually count as real parenting methods. To me, they both just seem like different ways of avoiding the actual work of raising a child! I guess it’s almost like a sign that someone doesn't truly want to engage with their kid; maybe they either let everything slide because they don't care enough to set boundaries, or perhaps they find that sitting down for a real, meaningful conversation takes way too much time and energy, so they just take the "quick fix" route by using their hands instead. It really feels like these behaviors are either just weaknesses where parenting becomes a bit of a chore, or they're just things people do when they aren't properly informed about how much we've progressed as a society and the heartbreaking statistics regarding modern discipline.

Raising kids really is probably the toughest job out there in the whole world, isn't it? I mean, let’s be honest, it can be such a constant struggle sometimes, and I guess you just find yourself running on empty without any real energy or time left for anything else. Even during those sweet moments when everything seems fine, there always seems to be some new little hurdle or issue popping up out of nowhere. It all adds up, but I truly feel like anyone who thinks they can just use physical discipline or constantly cave in to every demand to raise a child might not be quite mature enough to handle the complexities of such a massive responsibility. I honestly don't quite understand why people decide to have children if they aren't prepared to fully commit themselves to the journey, because I suppose using physical force isn't really an act of devotion—it feels more like someone is just trying to avoid actually dealing with the core of the problem.

I guess I could just pretend that I’m the only one who ever came up with this idea if I wanted to go around rambling about my own opinions, but honestly, that isn't really how things work at all! Goodness gracious, everything you could possibly need to know is already out there for everyone to see, so maybe people should just take a little more time to educate themselves and actually do some reading!

Jose Martin71 said:It wasn't "faking" anything. It’s not just that they didn't lift a finger; it’s that they just walked away after a little chat.

Because we live in a total mess of a country—in the USA, specifically—where social workers basically turn a blind eye because they operate under the flawed logic that kids are better off with parents like that than in state care, especially since the foster system is already slammed and they save their resources for the absolute worst-case scenarios.

The kid doesn't mean much to me anymore; the mother was crying for the first time, rambling about how she "lost control" and "it won't happen again." It’s all a heavy situation, honestly. I try to protect them through whatever success I can manage, if I can manage anything at all.

probably raised that way 🤣🤣🤣🤣

Jose Martin71 said:ROFL? Seriously? 😁

I didn't take that as a question; I took it as an implication that this kid is running around the classroom specifically because of that. I have no idea how you connected those dots. Physical punishment is physical punishment, whether we're talking about a light swat or something much more severe. And they started off by saying it was just "a little swat."

Don't you think that if a situation can be settled with "a little swat," then it could just as easily be resolved through a conversation, making that swat entirely unnecessary in the first place?

all five 😬

Scott Cox56 said:I guess this whole thread is honestly just kind of hilarious when you take into account the upbringing aspect mentioned in that very first post!
I guess I'm just wondering what the actual point is here? Is it supposed to be about letting a kid get hit just so they can learn a hard lesson about, I don't know, getting into a car with a stranger or whatever else might happen? Maybe it's meant to show how bad things turn out when you don't teach them early, but I suppose I'm just a bit confused about the whole logic behind it!
I guess if that’s really how everything ends up and that's the core parenting philosophy being used, then it seems just as misguided as trying to teach kids how to avoid doing evil based strictly on Christian doctrine, maybe?
I guess I feel like if the main lesson a kid walks away with is "don't talk to strangers just so you don't get hit," then we haven't really taught them much at all, you know? To me, the whole point is that you don't go off with a stranger because it’s fundamentally the wrong thing to do, not simply because you're afraid of getting hurt. It reminds me a bit of how people view faith sometimes; I mean, you shouldn't do something bad just because you're scared of facing eternal suffering in hell, though I suppose some might argue there's always that chance of slipping back onto the wrong path even after seeking forgiveness! 😁 I don't want to go too far down the rabbit hole of how illogical or even harmful certain religious teachings can be, because I really don't want to get carried away there, but I guess the real issue we should probably focus on is just how illogical and truly damaging it is to hit children.

I guess the absolute silliest argument that keeps popping up around here is this idea that if you aren't being physically aggressive with kids, then you're basically just being way too soft and letting them get away with everything! 😲 I honestly can't help but wonder where all this nonsense actually comes from! I mean, has anyone here ever truly witnessed an actual child existing, maybe even just watching a movie or something? It feels like we should probably just try to shake off these crazy, black-and-white delusions, you know? And I don't just mean when it comes to parenting, but more like for everything in life, really.
I honestly feel like neither being totally permissive nor resorting to physical "discipline" actually count as real parenting methods. To me, they both just seem like different ways of avoiding the actual work of raising a child! I guess it’s almost like a sign that someone doesn't truly want to engage with their kid; maybe they either let everything slide because they don't care enough to set boundaries, or perhaps they find that sitting down for a real, meaningful conversation takes way too much time and energy, so they just take the "quick fix" route by using their hands instead. It really feels like these behaviors are either just weaknesses where parenting becomes a bit of a chore, or they're just things people do when they aren't properly informed about how much we've progressed as a society and the heartbreaking statistics regarding modern discipline.

Raising kids really is probably the toughest job out there in the whole world, isn't it? I mean, let’s be honest, it can be such a constant struggle sometimes, and I guess you just find yourself running on empty without any real energy or time left for anything else. Even during those sweet moments when everything seems fine, there always seems to be some new little hurdle or issue popping up out of nowhere. It all adds up, but I truly feel like anyone who thinks they can just use physical discipline or constantly cave in to every demand to raise a child might not be quite mature enough to handle the complexities of such a massive responsibility. I honestly don't quite understand why people decide to have children if they aren't prepared to fully commit themselves to the journey, because I suppose using physical force isn't really an act of devotion—it feels more like someone is just trying to avoid actually dealing with the core of the problem.

I guess I could just pretend that I’m the only one who ever came up with this idea if I wanted to go around rambling about my own opinions, but honestly, that isn't really how things work at all! Goodness gracious, everything you could possibly need to know is already out there for everyone to see, so maybe people should just take a little more time to educate themselves and actually do some reading!

The whole point was for the kid to realize bad actions have bad consequences. How exactly do you explain the fallout of running off with a stranger to a child? If you teach them it's fine, they'll keep doing it. But looking at the video I posted, they're gonna run off regardless.

Kenneth Barnes4 said:probably raised that way 🤣🤣🤣🤣

all five 😬

The whole point was for the kid to realize bad actions have bad consequences. How exactly do you explain the fallout of running off with a stranger to a child? If you teach them it's fine, they'll keep doing it. But looking at the video I posted, they're gonna run off regardless.

I can't help but wonder, how exactly did you learn that jumping from heights over six feet is a bad idea? Did you have to actually take the leap and end up in a cast before the lesson finally sank in?
How did you learn that you shouldn't aim a knife at someone's eye?
And how did you realize that drinking detergent is dangerous? Was it through a firsthand experience followed by a lecture, or did you somehow find a more intuitive way to understand it?

People confuse parenting with control. They aren't the same thing, even if they're tangled up together. Most parents get it mixed up because they're scared—they can't tell what they actually have power over and what they can't. They try to micromanage everything just to keep things smooth and make sure their kids are happy. Oh, the joys of life!

Corporal punishment isn't about being a bully, venting rage, or just beating a kid for the hell of it...
It’s a last resort. It happens when you feel like there's no other way to make a kid realize you're acting out of pure fear for them. Like, you slap them because you're desperate for them to understand something vital for their future, even if they're too blind to see it right now. Physical discipline isn't supposed to be some outlet for parents who can't handle their own damn emotions.

Plus, once kids hit a certain age—say, around 13—parents lose most of their grip anyway. Peer pressure, celebrities, social media... that stuff becomes the ultimate authority. Forget parents; at that age, we're just the boring adults who don't know anything. 😁

darkcanyon10 said:People confuse parenting with control. They aren't the same thing, even if they're tangled up together. Most parents get it mixed up because they're scared—they can't tell what they actually have power over and what they can't. They try to micromanage everything just to keep things smooth and make sure their kids are happy. Oh, the joys of life!

Corporal punishment isn't about being a bully, venting rage, or just beating a kid for the hell of it...
It’s a last resort. It happens when you feel like there's no other way to make a kid realize you're acting out of pure fear for them. Like, you slap them because you're desperate for them to understand something vital for their future, even if they're too blind to see it right now. Physical discipline isn't supposed to be some outlet for parents who can't handle their own damn emotions.

Plus, once kids hit a certain age—say, around 13—parents lose most of their grip anyway. Peer pressure, celebrities, social media... that stuff becomes the ultimate authority. Forget parents; at that age, we're just the boring adults who don't know anything. 😁

👍

Bottom line: hitting a kid for spilling water isn't the same as hitting them for running into traffic.

@Kenneth Barnes4 - Are you seriously suggesting we should try to explain things to a kid beforehand while adding a nice little slap to ensure they don't wander into traffic? Or maybe wait until after the police return their child? Sorry, but I’m honestly laughing while typing this because I can’t imagine you’re being serious.
If the whole idea is that 'bad actions lead to bad consequences' and the consequence is just a smack, then that child isn't going to learn anything about why the action was wrong in the first place. A kid who learns not to run toward cars just because they'll get hit doesn't actually understand anything about car safety; they just learn to be afraid of getting slapped. It feels like such a way to stunt a child's development. And honestly, I won't even get into how humiliating a physical strike can be; I'm just looking at the philosophy behind that kind of parenting.

We've only seen one specific example from a video here with certain people involved. It would be pretty ridiculous to take those conclusions and apply them to all of life as a universal rule, especially when it means ignoring actual scientific progress. I have plenty of examples from my own childhood that suggest the exact opposite. I think a capable parent—provided they aren't completely out of their mind—can explain perfectly well why something is right or wrong, and kids eventually figure out what 'harmless hitting' really means as they grow up. I know I did; I was a calm, bright kid, and I interpreted it as 'that thing you do to others when you've run out of options and can't explain yourself any other way.' So, naturally, that's what I ended up doing to other kids.
I was a good, quiet, loved kid from a great family, yet I was basically conditioned to fight only when I was forced to defend myself (never to strike first). All of that didn't matter because what my parents taught me through their actions was something entirely different; everything else was just empty words.

You haven't answered a single one of the questions posed by Carl Kelly2, so why is that?
All of these are high-stakes, dangerous situations, not trivial ones. How exactly did you learn not to sit on a windowsill?
Judging by the video, children are mostly quite stubborn little beings to whom you can barely explain anything, so I’m really curious to hear some of the questions from our colleague or even my own?

Honestly, you guys are getting way too deep into unnecessary overthinking here.
Raising a kid is actually pretty straightforward—it’s basically just common sense. A child is going to mirror their parents' mindset through their actions and behavior. We're the ones setting the stage, defining the rules, and drawing the lines. Why? Because we can't escape ourselves—we are who we are, and we've built our lives around those personalities. Let's be real, plenty of us struggle to raise kids even when we're trying our hardest, and that's exactly why some kids turn out the way they do. It's just an unavoidable reality of life.

Look, if talking doesn't work—and let's face it, it often doesn't because people today just don't have the persistence, principles, or damn time required—then sometimes you need a firm hand. Why? Just so the little guy doesn't stick his fingers in an outlet and get electrocuted, or wander off with a stranger, or throw a massive tantrum in the middle of Target.

You have to set boundaries, period. If you let them do whatever they want, you're just raising spoiled, manipulative little monsters. On the flip side, if you completely smother their personality and never let them express what they feel or want, you end up with a terrified, insecure kid. You should let them explore and do their thing, but when it comes to the big stuff, you gotta lay down the law—even if that means a spanking if words aren't cutting it... As far as I'm concerned, that's where the debate ends. Is the kid sticking their hands in an electrical socket or not? Everything else is just pointless overanalyzing about the ifs, ands, or whens...

Think about it this way—a toddler starts sticking their fingers into an electrical outlet, and you step in to tell them "no." They try it again, so you give them a quick smack to show them it's wrong. They do it one more time, you hit them again, and suddenly they've learned the lesson: they won't touch the outlet while you're standing right there watching. But mark my words, the second your back is turned or someone else walks into the room, they’ll be right back at it. It's just a matter of when that moment happens.
So, what's the actual fix here? Installing outlet covers.

Carl Bishop2 said:Think about it this way—a toddler starts sticking their fingers into an electrical outlet, and you step in to tell them "no." They try it again, so you give them a quick smack to show them it's wrong. They do it one more time, you hit them again, and suddenly they've learned the lesson: they won't touch the outlet while you're standing right there watching. But mark my words, the second your back is turned or someone else walks into the room, they’ll be right back at it. It's just a matter of when that moment happens.
So, what's the actual fix here? Installing outlet covers.

I guess outlet covers are one way to look at it, since they basically take away the danger caused by a kid just being curious or parents being distracted. It’s kind of like using those baby gates to keep them in one room and stuff like that. Personally, though, I’m usually not big on those kinds of fixes—I’d rather go with a firm hand...

I don't really buy into the idea that we should be frantically padding and baby-proofing every single thing just because a kid is running wild, grabbing and tossing everything in sight. A lot of parents do this—they just let the kid run the show, which honestly makes zero sense if you think about it. And even worse are the ones who basically try to buy peace and quiet with bribes—letting them sit in front of the TV all day or showering them with toys and all the latest gadgets just to keep them happy. It feels like a massive parenting fail where the old-school discipline—which wasn't always perfect, sure—has been replaced by people just being unable to actually raise their kids...

Donna White50 said:I guess outlet covers are one way to look at it, since they basically take away the danger caused by a kid just being curious or parents being distracted. It’s kind of like using those baby gates to keep them in one room and stuff like that. Personally, though, I’m usually not big on those kinds of fixes—I’d rather go with a firm hand...

I don't really buy into the idea that we should be frantically padding and baby-proofing every single thing just because a kid is running wild, grabbing and tossing everything in sight. A lot of parents do this—they just let the kid run the show, which honestly makes zero sense if you think about it. And even worse are the ones who basically try to buy peace and quiet with bribes—letting them sit in front of the TV all day or showering them with toys and all the latest gadgets just to keep them happy. It feels like a massive parenting fail where the old-school discipline—which wasn't always perfect, sure—has been replaced by people just being unable to actually raise their kids...

Of course. It's pretty much the same story as any other parent who just doesn't have the drive or the actual desire to put in the work when it comes to raising their kid.

Carl Bishop2 said:Of course. It's pretty much the same story as any other parent who just doesn't have the drive or the actual desire to put in the work when it comes to raising their kid.

I guess I'm not reading his stuff for the very first time, so it feels like a totally logical progression for a forum user like him to end up walking away from his own child. 😢

I definitely agree with what was said before—that a kid is going to act out exactly when they realize they can dodge getting grounded or hit, because you've basically just trained them to fear the punishment instead of actually caring about the behavior that started the whole mess in the first place.

Carl Bishop2 said:Of course. It's pretty much the same story as any other parent who just doesn't have the drive or the actual desire to put in the work when it comes to raising their kid.

Yeah, that’s exactly what I mean—actually being present and doing the work of parenting. Even if discipline feels "old school" or unpopular these days, it provided something parents are seriously lacking right now: structure and clear boundaries. Putting earplugs in or wrapping a kid in bubble wrap isn't parenting... it's just avoiding reality. I feel like parents today take things way too literally when people say kids need love and shouldn't experience pain. But look, pain is part of life. We all deal with it—hard times, setbacks, personal struggles—everyone does. Kids aren't built to live in a world made of cotton candy, and honestly, nobody is. If they do grow up in a bubble, all that suppressed pain and disappointment is just going to come crashing down on them later. Too much discipline or too much shielding... they're really just two sides of the same failed approach to raising a human...

Scott Cox56 said:I guess I'm not reading his stuff for the very first time, so it feels like a totally logical progression for a forum user like him to end up walking away from his own child. 😢

I definitely agree with what was said before—that a kid is going to act out exactly when they realize they can dodge getting grounded or hit, because you've basically just trained them to fear the punishment instead of actually caring about the behavior that started the whole mess in the first place.

Oh sure, go ahead and report me to Child Protective Services because of my parenting style while you buy your kid some fancy new toy or a high-end iPhone just to try and buy their affection and prove you’re such a "great" parent...🤣

Look, I have every right to parent my way, whether people like it or not—just like you have the right to do things your way. There isn't some magic, universal formula for raising a kid. Even if there were, the streets and society would find a way to force their own rules on them anyway.

The thing is, kids aren't really scared of getting grounded or a smack; they're scared of being rejected by their parents. A punishment lasts a few seconds, the sting fades in five minutes, but that feeling of being cast aside? That sticks for life... Kids who act out are usually just starving for love because they feel unwanted, and they'll do anything just to feel like they matter. I know plenty of troublemakers, and at the end of the day, they’re all just deeply hurt people. It wasn't the discipline that broke them—it was the neglect and the feeling that their parents didn't care... Honestly, I don't hold it against my own folks for being tough on me, believe me, it happened a lot. I just regret that they couldn't figure out how to actually be good parents...

Can you all see what those self-righteous advocates are getting at—imagining how much chaos would ensue if spanking were suddenly legalized again, or heaven forbid, actually recommended by some "expert" somewhere?
Do you guys really see what's being said here?
I guess there might be maybe half a percent of people on this entire planet who actually sit around agonizing over whether this should be a last resort. The rest will probably just end up like these forum users who can't even wrap their heads around protecting an influence if there's a better way to discipline a little kid besides hitting them.

@rd - I mean, I believe you’ve been through plenty of that yourself, based on what you’ve posted before, so you don't even really need to point it out. It’s honestly a bit sad.

Scott Cox56 said:Can you all see what those self-righteous advocates are getting at—imagining how much chaos would ensue if spanking were suddenly legalized again, or heaven forbid, actually recommended by some "expert" somewhere?
Do you guys really see what's being said here?
I guess there might be maybe half a percent of people on this entire planet who actually sit around agonizing over whether this should be a last resort. The rest will probably just end up like these forum users who can't even wrap their heads around protecting an influence if there's a better way to discipline a little kid besides hitting them.

@rd - I mean, I believe you’ve been through plenty of that yourself, based on what you’ve posted before, so you don't even really need to point it out. It’s honestly a bit sad.

Look, my take is pretty simple: a kid needs to learn not to stick their fingers in an electrical outlet. If you, as a parent, can't manage that, then you aren't really doing the job. Honestly, it doesn't matter if you're using a belt, time-outs, corner time, yelling, or whatever other nonsense parents use these days—the point is you aren't stepping up as a parent.
Or maybe you want—like every spoiled mom out there—for every school, cafe, daycare, building, or neighbor's house where you grab a coffee while your kid runs wild, to have outlet covers installed legally. You know, just so your pampered little kid, who sticks their fingers in everything, doesn't get the chance to poke an outlet... because you're such a "good mom," coddling them and giving them whatever they want...🍿

There have to be standards somewhere, right? If we aren't going to use physical discipline, then why on earth are we moving toward parenting styles with zero boundaries and no clear rules? That just leads to a cycle of spoiled moms raising even more spoiled kids, while the rest of the world tries to figure out how to keep both the pampered parents and the bratty kids happy and "fulfilled" in their entitlement... And when I say "the world," I mean neighbors, friends, teachers, and everyone else you run into along the way... Hmm...?
Fine, we won't use the belt, okay? But look at what's actually happening—we're swinging straight to the other extreme. Why? Because parenting is hard, and most people don't have the energy or the time for it. People used to use discipline for that purpose, but nowadays they just choose indulgence because it's easier than actually getting off their butts... which just proves my point about that tiny fraction of people who are actually brave and strong enough not to just take the path of least resistance...

@rd - I think you might have missed a bit of what I was saying, so I’ll just quote the specific part where I mention how some people seem to think that if you aren't being physically harsh with a child, you're essentially being way too soft. That isn't the case at all, and it shouldn't be seen that way. Look here:

Scott Cox56 said:I guess this whole thread is honestly just kind of hilarious when you take into account the upbringing aspect mentioned in that very first post!
I guess I'm just wondering what the actual point is here? Is it supposed to be about letting a kid get hit just so they can learn a hard lesson about, I don't know, getting into a car with a stranger or whatever else might happen? Maybe it's meant to show how bad things turn out when you don't teach them early, but I suppose I'm just a bit confused about the whole logic behind it!
I guess if that’s really how everything ends up and that's the core parenting philosophy being used, then it seems just as misguided as trying to teach kids how to avoid doing evil based strictly on Christian doctrine, maybe?
I guess I feel like if the main lesson a kid walks away with is "don't talk to strangers just so you don't get hit," then we haven't really taught them much at all, you know? To me, the whole point is that you don't go off with a stranger because it’s fundamentally the wrong thing to do, not simply because you're afraid of getting hurt. It reminds me a bit of how people view faith sometimes; I mean, you shouldn't do something bad just because you're scared of facing eternal suffering in hell, though I suppose some might argue there's always that chance of slipping back onto the wrong path even after seeking forgiveness! 😁 I don't want to go too far down the rabbit hole of how illogical or even harmful certain religious teachings can be, because I really don't want to get carried away there, but I guess the real issue we should probably focus on is just how illogical and truly damaging it is to hit children.

I guess the absolute silliest argument that keeps popping up around here is this idea that if you aren't being physically aggressive with kids, then you're basically just being way too soft and letting them get away with everything! 😲 I honestly can't help but wonder where all this nonsense actually comes from! I mean, has anyone here ever truly witnessed an actual child existing, maybe even just watching a movie or something? It feels like we should probably just try to shake off these crazy, black-and-white delusions, you know? And I don't just mean when it comes to parenting, but more like for everything in life, really.
I honestly feel like neither being totally permissive nor resorting to physical "discipline" actually count as real parenting methods. To me, they both just seem like different ways of avoiding the actual work of raising a child! I guess it’s almost like a sign that someone doesn't truly want to engage with their kid; maybe they either let everything slide because they don't care enough to set boundaries, or perhaps they find that sitting down for a real, meaningful conversation takes way too much time and energy, so they just take the "quick fix" route by using their hands instead. It really feels like these behaviors are either just weaknesses where parenting becomes a bit of a chore, or they're just things people do when they aren't properly informed about how much we've progressed as a society and the heartbreaking statistics regarding modern discipline.

Raising kids really is probably the toughest job out there in the whole world, isn't it? I mean, let’s be honest, it can be such a constant struggle sometimes, and I guess you just find yourself running on empty without any real energy or time left for anything else. Even during those sweet moments when everything seems fine, there always seems to be some new little hurdle or issue popping up out of nowhere. It all adds up, but I truly feel like anyone who thinks they can just use physical discipline or constantly cave in to every demand to raise a child might not be quite mature enough to handle the complexities of such a massive responsibility. I honestly don't quite understand why people decide to have children if they aren't prepared to fully commit themselves to the journey, because I suppose using physical force isn't really an act of devotion—it feels more like someone is just trying to avoid actually dealing with the core of the problem.

I guess I could just pretend that I’m the only one who ever came up with this idea if I wanted to go around rambling about my own opinions, but honestly, that isn't really how things work at all! Goodness gracious, everything you could possibly need to know is already out there for everyone to see, so maybe people should just take a little more time to educate themselves and actually do some reading!

I suppose my personal take is that people who view the world through such rigid, black-and-white lenses probably aren't cut out for social life, let alone for raising a family.
For some kids, you can simply explain why they shouldn't put their fingers in an electrical outlet, and maybe you'll grab a safety cover just to be safe, but then there are those unfortunate children who, instead of getting a thoughtful explanation, just end up getting hit because a "parent" feels like they don't have the time to spend on something as vital as actual guidance. Then, of course, there are those who use physical force as a last resort and then try to convince everyone else that it's actually a fantastic teaching method, though I imagine those folks are quite rare, and even then, they're basically gambling with how that child turns out.
Personally, I wouldn't want to take that kind of risk.

Scott Cox56 said:@rd - I think you might have missed a bit of what I was saying, so I’ll just quote the specific part where I mention how some people seem to think that if you aren't being physically harsh with a child, you're essentially being way too soft. That isn't the case at all, and it shouldn't be seen that way. Look here:

I suppose my personal take is that people who view the world through such rigid, black-and-white lenses probably aren't cut out for social life, let alone for raising a family.
For some kids, you can simply explain why they shouldn't put their fingers in an electrical outlet, and maybe you'll grab a safety cover just to be safe, but then there are those unfortunate children who, instead of getting a thoughtful explanation, just end up getting hit because a "parent" feels like they don't have the time to spend on something as vital as actual guidance. Then, of course, there are those who use physical force as a last resort and then try to convince everyone else that it's actually a fantastic teaching method, though I imagine those folks are quite rare, and even then, they're basically gambling with how that child turns out.
Personally, I wouldn't want to take that kind of risk.

So many people view life through this black-and-white lens. And honestly, so many people struggle with perfectionism nowadays, especially in that toxic way... You can't exactly tell people they aren't allowed to have kids if that's what they want.

But look, physical discipline should never be the norm or an accepted way to raise a child. Why? Because we have to realize that causing pain isn't a humane way to treat any living thing, much less a kid.
That doesn't mean it should be totally banned as a tool, though. Think about it—like giving a quick tap on the hand; it doesn't hurt much, but it sends a crystal-clear message: "Don't touch that, it's dangerous." Kids pick up on those cues naturally. It’s a completely different story when you're intentionally trying to cause pain just to scare a kid into submission. In those cases, there's no point to it; it doesn't teach anything except how much it hurts. It’s like beating a dog for jumping a fence—it won't understand the lesson. But if you say "no" and give a firm correction when they're being stubborn, you're just correcting behavior. It's the same with kids—it's not about the discipline itself, it's about the context. I don't really care how anyone else interprets this... I'd only use it sparingly if nothing else works, and since my little one is still tiny, there's zero need for it right now. I'll also be the first one to call out anyone who hits a child just to inflict pain—whether it's out of frustration or just plain old cruelty. And man, it really gets to me when I hear a parent calling their kid a jerk or an idiot...