goldenmaker21 said:Personally, I've always gravitated toward those people; most of them ended up becoming solid friends I can actually rely on. They seem like the most sincere ones because they aren't hiding anything.
People who are faking it or acting "fake" usually reveal themselves pretty quickly once you hang out a few times and the politeness wears off.
Cold, reserved people always turn me off, and I tend to avoid them. It's hard to build any kind of connection with someone who can't relax around me from the start; if we can't get past basic pleasantries, what's the point?
The truth is, there isn't a single person—barring those with significant cognitive impairments—who hides absolutely nothing.
Both you and I, for one, certainly keep things tucked away...😉
In many ways, excessive politeness is its own kind of performance—a way of concealing one's true self.
Behind that kind of behavior, there is almost always an underlying motive, and rarely is it a positive one.
It can be incredibly difficult to distinguish genuine warmth from forced courtesy, though I suspect we all possess a sort of internal alarm system that warns us when something feels off.
There is a distinction, of course, between professional decorum and that unnecessary, over-the-top politeness one encounters in daily life when people display it without any practical reason.
This shouldn't be confused with subservience—that groveling, sycophantic attitude that was historically more common among the lower classes in America leading up to WWII. That whole "Yes, master..." dynamic.
Eventually, through the sheer weight of experience, most of us learn to tell the difference between openness, true kindness, and mere social niceties.
For me—given my long history of navigating various social circles—excessive politeness acts as a red flag, and it is one I find it wise not to ignore.
