School closures/delays?

darkmaker said:My experience was much the same... I was born toward the end of April, so I didn't actually start school until I was seven years and four months old. My mother chose not to petition for early enrollment because she wanted me to have one more year of being a kid without any pressures. I already knew how to read and write—I picked it up in preschool out of pure curiosity—so I found the beginning of elementary school a bit tedious while the rest of my classmates were still catching up. I don't recall literacy ever being a prerequisite for entry; after all, the whole point of school is to learn those skills. That said, I had a colleague from college who started at five years and eleven months, and another at six years and three months. Both sets of parents filed for early admission, though I must admit I'm still somewhat baffled by how the former managed to get approved at such a young age.🤷

Do you regret not starting earlier?

My daughter was born in early May, and she is constantly insisting she should be in school this September—essentially wanting to start at six and four months.
Everyone tells me to just let her play, but she asks about school every single day.
She enjoys preschool, so it isn't a matter of avoiding it—but whenever she asks any older kids if school is better than preschool, they all say yes. Now she’s convinced school is absolutely phenomenal; she keeps repeating how much there is to learn and how many new friends she will make there.

driftingsurfer14, I would personally enroll her in school now; it is far better for her to actually learn something engaging rather than waiting a year only to find herself bored by material she already understands. I distinctly remember feeling quite self-conscious back when I was that age because I seemed to know everything, and my teacher wouldn't stop praising me. Honestly, I was genuinely concerned that my classmates would end up hating me for it.

For several reasons, my child has been granted a deferral for school enrollment. He was technically supposed to start this year since his birthday is March 3rd.

This recommendation comes from a psychologist at Visa.

I am curious to know how much weight a professional opinion from an organization like Visa actually carries. Does anyone here have experience with this type of situation?

Essentially, who holds the final authority when it comes to deciding whether a child starts school or stays back a year?

To be honest, as soon as I brought this up at the preschool, I started sensing some pushback. It felt as though they were implying that because they have their own specialists on staff, the assessment from Visa shouldn't necessarily dictate his placement—as if they could just override it.
The irony is that their own specialist, the preschool psychologist, actually called us in for a meeting and requested that we undergo a formal professional evaluation. Now that we have followed their instructions and completed that process, they seem to find the results inconvenient.

I am trying to gauge how much trouble this might cause us. It seems quite clear to me that they are simply looking to clear out the preschool roster to make room for new enrollments, yet I refuse to send my child to school if it contradicts a professional expert's recommendation.

I mean, if they don't want to go to school, they aren't going to go. As far as I know, preschool isn't exactly mandatory.
Besides, there's that official school readiness testing, which I think provides the final verdict on whether they're actually prepared or not.🤔

Thanks rowdypanther12 😉

When you say "official testing," are you referring to an assessment through Visa or something handled directly by the preschool?

Since he’s technically considered school-age now, a psychological evaluation was required—which is standard procedure. That’s what we were advised to do, though we actually went ahead and completed it a few months ago.

The daycare staff called us in just before the New Year for a meeting regarding our little guy. They wanted to see if we were aware of his specific challenges and suggested that getting a formal evaluation through Visa would be the best next step, especially since they’ve started doing those assessments for all preschoolers lately.

We completed the Visa evaluation last week. We’re still waiting for the official report to arrive in the mail, but the specialist made her stance very clear right away: she believes delaying enrollment is absolutely the right call. In her view, he isn't ready yet and needs another year and a half to mature and catch up.

I fully expect the preschool to try and push him toward starting kindergarten, but I don't intend to budge on this. That’s why I asked whether their word is final or if they hold any overriding authority. It seems somewhat redundant to seek a specialized opinion from Visa if the school psychologist can simply overrule them and make the ultimate decision anyway.

I think it’s something specific, kind of like what you need for a driver's license. I believe it's handled at the school clinic, but don't quote me on that—other moms would probably know more than I do.

Based on their birth date, you're actually required to have them seen by the school medical team.
You'll need to bring all the documentation from both their pediatrician and their preschool.
Since they just went through testing recently, they shouldn't need to be re-tested (at least, that's the plan).
The final call rests with the school medical staff, not the preschool staff.
The preschool can certainly make an assessment and share their perspective, but their opinion isn't binding.

That said, the preschool should receive specific guidance on how to support the child, since it’s not just about whether to delay school entry, but also about how to handle their remaining time in preschool.
(Just a little tip for the future: whenever you're dealing with these kinds of matters, it's always best not to approach school or preschool teams without a formal written report from a healthcare provider. 😉)

This is all new to me. I honestly thought having Visa and the preschool assessment on file would be enough to just head straight to the school, whether we were enrolling him or requesting a deferral.
So, you're saying we also need to go through an evaluation process at the school itself.
It looks like I should probably prepare for the possibility of pushing for him to start this year after all.
A psychologist actually hinted at this—suggesting they might try to pressure us into enrolling him because of low enrollment numbers, though she advised us not to give in too easily.

We currently have a speech therapist's report showing he struggles with his "R" sounds, and we're just waiting to receive the official documentation from the specialists at Visa.

Thanks for the insight, ladies.🙂

We’ve still got plenty of ground to cover here, but I can't help but wonder... what happens when the school district's doctors say a kid is totally ready to dive into kindergarten, but the parents are looking at them and thinking they need another year to grow? Is it actually possible to push that start date back just because a parent feels their child isn't quite hitting those developmental milestones yet?

Brian Barnes5 said:We’ve still got plenty of ground to cover here, but I can't help but wonder... what happens when the school district's doctors say a kid is totally ready to dive into kindergarten, but the parents are looking at them and thinking they need another year to grow? Is it actually possible to push that start date back just because a parent feels their child isn't quite hitting those developmental milestones yet?

Generally speaking, no.
Without supporting medical documentation, you definitely can't.

However, during your consultation, you’ll talk about who the child is—their strengths and their struggles. You describe how they handle everyday situations.
Through that conversation, you might actually realize that the child is ready for school (even if you initially thought they weren't), or conversely, that they aren't ready when you originally hoped they were.

Based on what unknown mentioned, I would personally suggest holding a child back one more year simply because speech therapy is much easier to manage during the preschool years. It's not just about the developmental side where starting early helps them catch up sooner; it's also about the environment. In preschool, kids are focused on play and don't feel the pressure. They can undergo therapy without having to worry about learning letters or numbers at the same time, carrying a heavy backpack, or the daily grind of a school schedule. Plus, from a logistics standpoint, it's so much easier for parents to get them to appointments while they're still in daycare. When they start school, things get hectic. If you have a grandparent, a sitter, or a neighbor who can pick them up from daycare for a morning session, you have way more flexibility. Once you're working until 5:00 PM, trying to drag an exhausted kid to an afternoon session is a struggle, and finding available slots becomes much harder.
I should also mention that many daycare centers here in the States have speech therapists on staff who work specifically with preschoolers. That means you can get treatment right within the facility itself.
Schools rarely offer those services, and when they do, they're almost always focused on reading and writing.

Thanks for clearing that up, unknown. Honestly, I was under the impression that parents actually had the final say in things...

unknown, we used to visit a specialist clinic in Chicago for a while, and looking back, I really regret that we stopped going. I have absolute faith in our speech therapist there; her assessments carry so much more weight than anything coming from a school doctor because she’s spent countless hours getting to know my kid through all their different moods and ups and downs.

I’m definitely no expert, but just speaking parent-to-parent, if there's even a shadow of a doubt, it feels way better to just hit the pause button and wait.

All this talk about kids being bored if they're too advanced just doesn't sit right with me. It's like how school feels like a total blast for the first couple of weeks, but then the novelty wears off and they're basically just counting down the days until graduation for the next twelve years. I’d much rather them be bored because things are easy than bored because they're struggling to keep up.

In my mind, I've already decided we're delaying things. But my little guy is giving me a run for my money because his reading and writing skills are leveling up at lightning speed—he was already crushing math up to 15 last year—even if he's still trailing behind a bit emotionally...

Well, parents really have the final say in both directions.
Technically, they could try to skip enrolling their child entirely, but then they might end up getting a call from Child Protective Services for neglecting the kid's right to an education. 😬

I’m just kidding, obviously—a parent's opinion matters deeply, and they absolutely have the right to advocate for what they believe is best for their child. However, the child still needs official, professional documentation to determine which school they should actually be attending.
Especially if all the standard assessments show the child meets all the requirements for enrollment.

I mean, I can't exactly say I don't want my kid starting school during the 2017/2018 school year, even though they'll be turning seven. If I wait until 2018/2019 just because the teacher I really want for them will be teaching fourth grade then, it's a tough call. I'd love to wait just to get that wonderful teacher.
But I really can't.
(Though I'd love to!)

Oh man, I hadn't even considered that angle! 🤔 Like, those teachers... I don't actually know a single one of them, so I guess I'm going to have to go on a bit of a deep dive and start doing some digging. You've definitely given me a little homework assignment now! 😬

Wait, am I seriously the only student who actually liked school?

In my book, if a kid is genuinely interested in school—showing that kind of drive—it’s a pretty huge deal.

I honestly find it just as weird that kids are getting bored so early; my own experience was totally different, where that sense of boredom doesn't really kick in until they hit those middle school years around 5th or 6th grade when puberty starts hitting.
That’s exactly why I’m not a fan of this whole idea of pushing back school enrollment indefinitely, because you'll just end up with a kid in the lower grades who completely loses interest in learning.

To give you an idea, I didn't even start school until I was six, and at that point, I couldn't even read yet, but my mom never made a huge deal out of how I was feeling emotionally. The only thing that ever really happened was people praising how fast I caught up—since most kids in my class could already read, given I was part of that early 80s generation.

I get this impression that all these "over-involved moms" seem to think their little ones aren't ready for school until they're 7 or 8 years old.😳
(At least based on what I'm seeing here on the forum; I haven't come across a single person saying, "Actually, my kid is perfectly ready to start at age six.").

Karen Richardson3 said:I honestly find it just as weird that kids are getting bored so early; my own experience was totally different, where that sense of boredom doesn't really kick in until they hit those middle school years around 5th or 6th grade when puberty starts hitting.
That’s exactly why I’m not a fan of this whole idea of pushing back school enrollment indefinitely, because you'll just end up with a kid in the lower grades who completely loses interest in learning.

To give you an idea, I didn't even start school until I was six, and at that point, I couldn't even read yet, but my mom never made a huge deal out of how I was feeling emotionally. The only thing that ever really happened was people praising how fast I caught up—since most kids in my class could already read, given I was part of that early 80s generation.

I get this impression that all these "over-involved moms" seem to think their little ones aren't ready for school until they're 7 or 8 years old.😳
(At least based on what I'm seeing here on the forum; I haven't come across a single person saying, "Actually, my kid is perfectly ready to start at age six.").

could you define what you mean by "highly involved moms"?😁
mine will be starting at 6 years and 8 months.
that seems about right.

personally, I absolutely loved elementary school; it’s one of those periods of my life I look back on with a lot of warmth and genuine fondness.😍

high school, though, was just awful.
the atmosphere was way too competitive, and the teachers were just so demanding in that old-school sort of way...🙂

Honestly, I don't know how anyone can say that. I was bored to tears during my first few years of elementary school. I actually cried over those mindless assignments—it was just endless monotony and busywork, like being forced to draw three pages of lines or memorizing things I already knew back when I was in preschool. 😂
But then again, it wouldn't have made much of a difference if she had started at five.

She’ll be mentally ready for school this fall. For the most part, she's emotionally ready too.
The biggest hurdle will probably be sitting still for long periods. Plus, since she's a little older, she'll be more prepared to handle her own responsibilities without me constantly hovering or micromanaging everything.
It’s also probably better that she’s a bit older for when she eventually starts staying home alone all day.

What I actually meant was that I honestly have no idea what I would have done if she’d been born just three weeks earlier and had to start school this fall.
I suspect I would have asked for a deferral.

urbantinker8 said:could you define what you mean by "highly involved moms"?😁
mine will be starting at 6 years and 8 months.
that seems about right.

personally, I absolutely loved elementary school; it’s one of those periods of my life I look back on with a lot of warmth and genuine fondness.😍

high school, though, was just awful.
the atmosphere was way too competitive, and the teachers were just so demanding in that old-school sort of way...🙂

Honestly, it’s just anyone who actually gives a damn and thinks about it. The other type? They just sign the kids up when they absolutely have to and call it a day. 😁 But even among the ones who really put in the thought, I haven't heard a single person say, "Yeah, my six-year-old is totally ready." It feels like everyone's kid is still just emotionally hitting their stride and isn't quite there yet. 😁

What are the actual, massive differences between a six-year-old and a seven-year-old? To be real with you, it all looks pretty much the same to me—especially when it comes to stuff like being able to sit still or staying home alone without losing it. 🤷

Man, how is that even possible? They seem so much more mature and advanced every few months. The difference after just six months is honestly massive, let alone a full year. 🤷

I mean, I really think six months can make a massive difference when you look at how much kids develop. That’s why I just can’t wrap my head around these moms of five-year-olds who are absolutely convinced their kid isn't mature enough for kindergarten yet. Like, honestly, at that age, they don't even need to be fully "mature" right out of the gate, I guess.