Who thrives most as a solo player?

Matthew Edwards2 said:Not every woman fits into a neat little box of being a lady or a slut. Some women hold themselves to high standards and won't sell themselves, sure. But for others, this is just their job—they pay their taxes just like anyone else, and I see it as a profession. Honestly, sometimes they even lean into those labels. It's complicated, right?

The truth is, 90% of these women do it because they’re broke and struggling to make ends meet. If they had any other options, they wouldn't be standing on a street corner near you. They wouldn't even give you a second glance. ☕

granitefalcon26 said:I'd much rather spend my day scuba diving with dolphins or sharks than wasting time on family stuff.☕

Well, since you've already shared your thoughts on that, I suppose my response is simply a direct reaction to what you just said. 😕
You tend to repeat yourself because you truly believe that is the case. This one's for you. Is this simply a waste of time, or are you emphasizing that it’s a complete waste of time? I truly hope people like that never have families of their own—though, of course, I mean those who don't actually want them, because I personally know quite a few individuals who refuse to admit they don't want children and end up causing so much heartache for the women and kids in their lives.
I honestly don't see the issue when it comes to people who choose not to pursue romantic partnerships—and I’m specifically talking about life partners here, not just friends or siblings—or those who decide that having children isn't for them. It feels like a genuine victory that American society is finally maturing enough to embrace this kind of diversity, recognizing that marriage and parenthood simply aren't universal requirements for a fulfilling life. Not everyone is built for that path, and frankly, considering how crowded the world has become, perhaps it's for the best.🤷 I honestly don't see what the big deal is. If someone genuinely finds joy in raising children, then they should just go for it and be happy about it.

When it comes to dolphins and sharks, we have to be honest—it really all boils down to the bottom line. Of course, kids tend to blow through their allowances pretty quickly, so if you're working with a tight budget, choosing those types of experiences often feels out of reach for families. It’s just one of those things where, if you had someone like Brad Pitt looking after them, he could easily adopt a few more and still have far more disposable income than the rest of us to fund his hobbies and enjoy his free time. 🤷
On another note, unless your hobby involves daily sessions diving with sharks—which, by the way, I’m genuinely curious about, how many times have you actually been out there?—those few hours of diving you mentioned aren't really a conflict with having kids. It’s more about managing a lack of free time. Kids won't stand in the way of your passions, believe me; if anything, they tend to fuel that drive to make every moment count.😁 To be perfectly honest, even if I didn't have a child to provide for, my current salary wouldn't get me much further than Denver.
Once again, I find myself thinking about how having children—for those of us who truly desire them—is an adventure that far outweighs any thrill-seeking vacation, whether you’re scuba diving in Maui or trekking through the Rockies. It’s something much more intense, unpredictable, and honestly, a bit more stressful than any tourist activity could ever be. Perhaps you have a point; we end up burning through all our adrenaline on things like toddler tantrums, late-night ER runs, those first precious words, and the general chaos of parenting. It’s exhausting, really, and it always leaves me wondering if everyone is actually built for this lifestyle. Personally, I don't believe they are. It’s incredibly complex, and if you don't inherently possess that specific spark to find joy in the madness, then the whole experience can easily turn into a struggle.

Jamie Johnson6 said:Well, since you've already shared your thoughts on that, I suppose my response is simply a direct reaction to what you just said. 😕
You tend to repeat yourself because you truly believe that is the case. This one's for you. Is this simply a waste of time, or are you emphasizing that it’s a complete waste of time? I truly hope people like that never have families of their own—though, of course, I mean those who don't actually want them, because I personally know quite a few individuals who refuse to admit they don't want children and end up causing so much heartache for the women and kids in their lives.
I honestly don't see the issue when it comes to people who choose not to pursue romantic partnerships—and I’m specifically talking about life partners here, not just friends or siblings—or those who decide that having children isn't for them. It feels like a genuine victory that American society is finally maturing enough to embrace this kind of diversity, recognizing that marriage and parenthood simply aren't universal requirements for a fulfilling life. Not everyone is built for that path, and frankly, considering how crowded the world has become, perhaps it's for the best.🤷 I honestly don't see what the big deal is. If someone genuinely finds joy in raising children, then they should just go for it and be happy about it.

When it comes to dolphins and sharks, we have to be honest—it really all boils down to the bottom line. Of course, kids tend to blow through their allowances pretty quickly, so if you're working with a tight budget, choosing those types of experiences often feels out of reach for families. It’s just one of those things where, if you had someone like Brad Pitt looking after them, he could easily adopt a few more and still have far more disposable income than the rest of us to fund his hobbies and enjoy his free time. 🤷
On another note, unless your hobby involves daily sessions diving with sharks—which, by the way, I’m genuinely curious about, how many times have you actually been out there?—those few hours of diving you mentioned aren't really a conflict with having kids. It’s more about managing a lack of free time. Kids won't stand in the way of your passions, believe me; if anything, they tend to fuel that drive to make every moment count.😁 To be perfectly honest, even if I didn't have a child to provide for, my current salary wouldn't get me much further than Denver.
Once again, I find myself thinking about how having children—for those of us who truly desire them—is an adventure that far outweighs any thrill-seeking vacation, whether you’re scuba diving in Maui or trekking through the Rockies. It’s something much more intense, unpredictable, and honestly, a bit more stressful than any tourist activity could ever be. Perhaps you have a point; we end up burning through all our adrenaline on things like toddler tantrums, late-night ER runs, those first precious words, and the general chaos of parenting. It’s exhausting, really, and it always leaves me wondering if everyone is actually built for this lifestyle. Personally, I don't believe they are. It’s incredibly complex, and if you don't inherently possess that specific spark to find joy in the madness, then the whole experience can easily turn into a struggle.

I've done about a hundred dives. Plus, I hit up two big adventure destinations every year. Throw a midlife crisis into the mix, and there you go.🤣
Once you have a family and kids, your priorities shift completely. You end up playing this endless game of just trying to make it to payday.

redcanyon93 said:Oh, I completely empathize with that struggle... It’s a real issue for me too. I have this friend who’s been married for years, and she was honest enough to admit that it took her an absolute eternity to get used to sharing a bed with someone—you know, her husband. Between the constant tug-of-war over the blankets and the fact that you never truly have a moment of peace because you aren't even alone during your downtime... it's exhausting. And don't even get me started on how I look right before hitting the hay or the second I wake up. I can barely stand the sight of myself, so I can only imagine what another person sees 🙂

Look, plenty of guys actually prefer girls in that state. 🙂 Sure, it’s great to put effort in and look polished, but there's also something to be said for just being able to chill and be 100% yourself.

redcanyon93 said:I think that was beautifully put, and I have definitely realized that I shouldn't take things quite so heavily. While you are with someone—well, you are, but whether you will be tomorrow? Neither you nor they know... there is no telling what life will throw at you... not even when you are married, let alone in an informal relationship....

However, let's say one thing I don't have to obsess over when I am single is money. I spend what I have, or what I don't have, on whatever I want or don't want. But once you are with someone, you always find yourself having to account for that other person, even if they earn their own living and have their own funds.... perhaps I don't feel like spending a weekend at a vineyard out in Napa... but he, for some reason, absolutely insists on going... or maybe I don't want to buy a new car... but he firmly believes I need one, whereas, honestly, my old clunker works just fine for me... yet I sense he thinks I *should* or *deserve* to have a new car, so why wouldn't I just buy it if I could? Except, I would much rather spend that money on books or tuck it away in savings because I simply cannot function without my emergency fund....

Maybe that is a silly example, but for me, it is all incredibly stressful. When I am solo, I drive my old car and I don't have to justify myself to anyone. If acquaintances or friends happen to mention it, I can easily brush them off, because I truly don't care what they think about it. But if a partner is constantly nagging me about it, then I start to feel terrible. Because I get this impression that they don't fully accept me because of something as trivial as an old car.

And there are a million examples like that. Everything from what people eat, to how they work, sleep, or dress.... I probably do the same to partners, commenting on every little thing, but clearly, other people don't perceive these things as dramatically as I do..

Look, what you're talking about right here? That's just the basics—compatibility, mutual respect, actually accepting each other... you shouldn't be with anyone who makes you feel uneasy like that, or tries to force your hand, or pressures you, or tries to talk you into something you just don't want to do. You are totally right when you say it's a lack of respect toward you. For me, those types of guys fly completely under my radar; I don't even realize they exist... but it's true, you get back what you put in... maybe those guys were that way because you were too... work on yourself and your next experiences will be totally different from what you've had before...

I haven't been following this thread, I just dropped in out of nowhere. In my experience, maybe it’s less about people being better off alone and more about people just not knowing what they actually want. Right now, I'm flying solo, which is pretty much my default state—unless someone comes along and feels bad for me, and then I guess I figure, why not give a relationship a shot? There’s usually a brief window where things feel great, but once that initial high wears off, I hit rock bottom. Eventually, I always end up missing my solitude and my independence. I hate having to worry about where someone is or what they're doing. I suppose loneliness is what drives us to hunt for a partner, but maybe we should be looking inward first. We should probably learn how to be happy on our own without jumping at every person who crosses our path just because we think they might cheer us up. Maybe that happiness is already inside us, but it's like the clothes in our closet are so messy that we can't find the right outfit to fix the loneliness when we need it most.🙂

Nicholas Gonzalez8 said:Look, plenty of guys actually prefer girls in that state. 🙂 Sure, it’s great to put effort in and look polished, but there's also something to be said for just being able to chill and be 100% yourself.

It feels like there aren't many women who can truly relax without being totally unkempt or not caring about themselves at all.
So many people struggle to actually enjoy their relationships or intimacy because they're obsessing over tiny, trivial details. They get caught up in jealousy, constant checking, or petty arguments. When you're constantly insecure about your looks, you end up being difficult—first with yourself, then with everyone else. Then they blame men, not realizing that they're the ones creating the friction in the first place.

In the end, once they find themselves alone, they convince themselves they're "happier single" just to cope. Yeah, right. 🙄
This goes for men too.

At the end of the day, it usually boils down to selfishness, frustration, or just a fear of trying again.

granitefalcon26 said:The truth is, 90% of these women do it because they’re broke and struggling to make ends meet. If they had any other options, they wouldn't be standing on a street corner near you. They wouldn't even give you a second glance. ☕

I mean, money isn't everything. You gotta have some skills in the bedroom too. 🤣

driftingmaker said:It feels like there aren't many women who can truly relax without being totally unkempt or not caring about themselves at all.
So many people struggle to actually enjoy their relationships or intimacy because they're obsessing over tiny, trivial details. They get caught up in jealousy, constant checking, or petty arguments. When you're constantly insecure about your looks, you end up being difficult—first with yourself, then with everyone else. Then they blame men, not realizing that they're the ones creating the friction in the first place.

In the end, once they find themselves alone, they convince themselves they're "happier single" just to cope. Yeah, right. 🙄
This goes for men too.

At the end of the day, it usually boils down to selfishness, frustration, or just a fear of trying again.

Why should a woman even care about "holding herself together"? I mean, what does that even mean anymore since social standards change every five minutes? 😕

I wouldn't say there are women men won't go for. There aren't as many unattractive or clueless women out there as there are desperate guys, whether they're single or taken. 😉

driftingmaker said:It feels like there aren't many women who can truly relax without being totally unkempt or not caring about themselves at all.
So many people struggle to actually enjoy their relationships or intimacy because they're obsessing over tiny, trivial details. They get caught up in jealousy, constant checking, or petty arguments. When you're constantly insecure about your looks, you end up being difficult—first with yourself, then with everyone else. Then they blame men, not realizing that they're the ones creating the friction in the first place.

In the end, once they find themselves alone, they convince themselves they're "happier single" just to cope. Yeah, right. 🙄
This goes for men too.

At the end of the day, it usually boils down to selfishness, frustration, or just a fear of trying again.

Jealousy is just a nasty habit.😁🤣

Edward Nguyen2 said:Why should a woman even care about "holding herself together"? I mean, what does that even mean anymore since social standards change every five minutes? 😕

I wouldn't say there are women men won't go for. There aren't as many unattractive or clueless women out there as there are desperate guys, whether they're single or taken. 😉

Bingo! 👍 😂🤣
It’s not all about looks, either. Beauty fades, but a nasty personality? That sticks around forever.😁

Edward Nguyen2 said:Why should a woman even care about "holding herself together"? I mean, what does that even mean anymore since social standards change every five minutes? 😕

I wouldn't say there are women men won't go for. There aren't as many unattractive or clueless women out there as there are desperate guys, whether they're single or taken. 😉

To me, taking care of yourself is about basic hygiene. Everything else is just a matter of personal taste.
Personally, I could be with a woman who's overweight if she's well-kept.
I can find a partner regardless of size, but someone who's hysterical, frustrated, or always gossiping? Nobody wants that.

granitefalcon26 said:Jealousy is just a nasty habit.😁🤣

Don't troll, you're just being boring.

It's already pretty obvious why you're single, and honestly, it's probably better for women if things stay that way.

driftingmaker said:To me, taking care of yourself is about basic hygiene. Everything else is just a matter of personal taste.
Personally, I could be with a woman who's overweight if she's well-kept.
I can find a partner regardless of size, but someone who's hysterical, frustrated, or always gossiping? Nobody wants that.

Man, if people actually matched up based on logic instead of just pure instinct—heaven knows where we'd end up.🙂

Edward Nguyen2 said:Man, if people actually matched up based on logic instead of just pure instinct—heaven knows where we'd end up.🙂

It’s tough for those who just let their instincts drive everything.

driftingmaker said:Don't troll, you're just being boring.

It's already pretty obvious why you're single, and honestly, it's probably better for women if things stay that way.

I'm not always alone. I jump into relationships every now and then.😍

driftingmaker said:It’s tough for those who just let their instincts drive everything.

Wait, so you're telling me most guys are totally logical even when they're falling for "hot women," even the geniuses? 😲

Yeah, right. That's why the whole beauty and marketing industry exists—because men are such incredibly rational creatures. I'm not saying women only dress up for guys, but yeah, it definitely helps. I remember reading somewhere that a guy's brain basically shuts down when there's a really attractive woman nearby. So much logic going on there.

Sam, ne i usamljen, is the crux of the matter.

Preferences vary from person to person. I don't see why the majority—those who prioritize constant pairing—view the minority, those who prefer solitude, as some kind of anomaly and attempt to convince them they're wrong. 🤷

Edward Nguyen2 said:Wait, so you're telling me most guys are totally logical even when they're falling for "hot women," even the geniuses? 😲

Yeah, right. That's why the whole beauty and marketing industry exists—because men are such incredibly rational creatures. I'm not saying women only dress up for guys, but yeah, it definitely helps. I remember reading somewhere that a guy's brain basically shuts down when there's a really attractive woman nearby. So much logic going on there.

I never said "most." Like I said before, it's pretty pathetic when people let their instincts run their lives.

Nicholas Nguyen said:Sam, ne i usamljen, is the crux of the matter.

Preferences vary from person to person. I don't see why the majority—those who prioritize constant pairing—view the minority, those who prefer solitude, as some kind of anomaly and attempt to convince them they're wrong. 🤷

We've actually covered this before.😉
They're just jealous because we're out living our best lives while they're stuck in the daily grind.😁
The truth is, since I'm married with a kid, my travel options are basically limited to watching Discovery Channel from my couch.🙄
My parents poured everything they had into my education and my future, and I'm incredibly grateful for that. But honestly, if we didn't have that family property on Maui, we wouldn't even be able to afford a summer vacation.
Nowadays, having kids feels like signing a massive 30-year mortgage. If you're lucky, you might squeeze in a week at a little resort by the Mediterranean Sea, and that's about it.